


Like Heaven and Earth

by BlurredThoughts



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Combination of Storylines, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Jumin's Implied Family, Jumin's Implied Siblings, Light Angst, M/M, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-23 07:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 157,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11985090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurredThoughts/pseuds/BlurredThoughts
Summary: All it took for Zen to agree was a glance at those dark, cold eyes filled with so much emotion and sadness. For Jumin to bare his soul to him, share the pain he kept buried deep inside, and make him wonder how hard it must have been for the older man to keep it all bottled up inside. He pretended everything was fine for so long that he couldn't even tell Zen what hurt more anymore. So here he sits next to him at the bar, instantly regretting his decision but at the same time feeling like he could do it for him. For Jumin, the person who stood by him when he needed it the most.This Han wedding better be the best wedding in the world, because Zen doesn't just let anyone parade him around like a damn trophy wife to piss parents off in the pettiest game of revenge he's ever heard of.





	1. When Zen realizes Jumin Han is a weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I remember reading in Jumin's trivia that Zen implies he's not the only child, so I decided to go for it it and come up with a cheesy 'this is how they get together' story. Seven/MC mentioned, Seven's real name used. Zen is definitely a knight in shinning armor and boy does Jumin need one right now. Baby needs to learn to deal with emotions in a healthy way and he has a (questionably) good teacher. Also, SO MUCH UST, UGH!
> 
> I don't know what this is. Just roll with it.

His eyes couldn’t tear away from the man standing before the big, bright studio lights. It was fascinating to watch as the skin glistened with fake sweat, and those red eyes changed as the director called for different takes of the same scene. There was no doubt that Zen was a fantastic actor and model. If there is one thing he was born to do, it was this. Everyone in the room was taken by the whole ordeal. Jumin should be telling them to go back to their tasks in hand, but really, he was here wasting his own time as well.

And he shouldn’t be.

That thought snapped him out of his trance like moment and he turned to Yoosung whose attention was still glued to the man facing the cameras. “He’s so… good,” the younger man muttered in amazement, “the energy drink will sell like crazy,” making Jumin blink.

“Let’s get back to the office.”

Everything looked good and there didn’t seem to be a problem. He has no doubt the drink will be a hit among people their age who appreciate both beauty and health.

Yoosung nodded immediately and the two left the set of his most recent business idea. It came to him one day after Zen talked about his exercise routine in the chatroom with everyone, hoping to get Saeyoung to join him the following day. He didn’t, but Jumin got the perfect pitch for a line of energy drinks.

“I thought you were going to wait for him to be done,” his friend spoke while holding the door open for Jumin to walk into his office.

Jumin dipped his eyebrows at the implications of that statement, but he didn’t respond to it in any way. There was no reason to. Why would he wait for Zen to be done when there wasn’t anything he wanted to say to him. All he needed was to check up on the commercial, and see if there was anything else he needed to do to make it as perfect as it can be. There was nothing else he needed to do, the musical actor took care of that all on his own.

It seems that all directors he hires love the man. The cat food commercial (which has been a bestseller in the last year) director said he would love to work with Zen again in the future. The director for this sports drink commercial has spoken highly of him, enchanted over the fact that Zen seemed to be the perfect model and actor.

None of that comes as a surprise to Jumin. Ever since they met years ago, back when the younger man was still a teen, there was something about him that stood out from anyone else he’s ever met. V felt it too. They talked about it then, with Rika who was enamoured with the young actor. It’s been almost five years and nothing has changed. Charming, extremely good looking, a genuine nice person. It’s no surprise Rika was taken by him from the first time she saw him on stage, or that he became one of V’s favorite muses. Or that Jumin spends a good amount of time thinking about him and what other possible idea could use his modeling skills.

Who would’ve known.

Suddenly his phone went off interrupting his thoughts. It was his personal phone. Since there was no appointed meeting, Jumin looked at the caller ID and waved Yoosung out of the office in a mild mannered way. Why in the world was his mother calling him out of the blue? No warning, no nothing. It’s either an emergency, or the sky has fallen over because she never seems to be interested in his life or his well being for that matter.

“Hello,” he answered in his usual deep, monotone.

“Jumin,” his mother’s soft voice floated into his ear, making him relax his shoulders as he took a seat on his office chair. “I’m so glad to hear your voice. How are you doing?”

Raising an eyebrow, the young director couldn’t help but to wonder if his father mentioned the mess that happened between them earlier that year. “Why do you ask?” If he did, then he’ll have to give props to his father. It isn’t always that both his parents can sit and have a civil conversation even if it’s about their children.

“Don’t answer my question with a question darling,” she chided as if he were still a young child. Not that she’d know. “I haven’t spoken to you in a little more than two years. Traveling has been good for me, but all I hear is that you’re working hard every day. Live a little.”

A pang of disappointment rang through him, making him feel somewhat uncomfortable. It was pointless of him to expect his parents to have a talk about him, about how bad his father messed up. About how much he let Jumin down. He should’ve known better than to get his hopes up that way, he’s only been dealing with them _his whole life_.

“Anyway,” she continued after his silent only grew, “I have an announcement to make.” For a moment he expected to hear she was getting married again, but instead his mother followed that with, “your sister is getting married.”

Oh. His sister. “When?” Odd that his mother is the one calling him and not, say, his own sister.

“In a couple of weeks. I knew you wouldn’t get your invitation from your father so I decided to let you know myself. Prepare a flight to California, it’s where she decided to hold the ceremony. I’m sure she’ll be glad to give you the details if _you_ take time out of your busy life to communicate with her first. Your brother will be there too. Don’t you dare not show up.”

“And father?”

He could hear his mother’s blood boil at the mention of him. “Unfortunately he’s coming too, and with a gold digger to boot. But what can we do, he’s the father of all my children. No matter how tacky he is, we have to all put up with it to please your sister.”

Jumin felt a headache coming. Is he _insane_? Why would his father think bringing his new girlfriend to his sister’s wedding was a good idea? The man is a business genius, but other than that he seemed to be as dumb as--

Oh God. He’s going to have to not only put up with that, also his younger brother and mother being pissed about it. Not to mention he has to tell them what he tried to do with him, getting him involved in an arranged marriage was the lowest thing his father could’ve done to him.

He couldn’t deal with this anymore. “I have to go,” he said and cut the call short, not caring that she wasn’t one of the RFA members who are used to him abruptly ending conversations when he didn’t feel like dealing with them.

Not a minute after, Jumin’s phone beeped with a newly received message.

Mother:  
Do it for your sister. And live a little son, take a vacation and give your father’s gift some use.

He felt like rolling his eyes. As if she cared. And, _which_ gift? Out of all the gifts his father has given him, the private jet is the only one he uses regularly for business trips. Not that he’s not grateful, but ever since Glam Choi happened, Jumin can’t help but to feel somewhat bitter about the way his father expresses his love for him.

For the first time in a very long time, Jumin feels alone. Elizabeth 3rd is his one and only love in this life, and while he likes to talk to her about some of the things that frustrate him, there is so much a cat can communicate with a human. He misses V so much. Even though the last few months of him being alive consisted on V keeping a distance, Jumin could still talk to his best friend.

 _You should stop,_  he said to himself. There was no need to make himself sad right now. Not when he needed to go over the itinerary for the next two weeks to see if he can move meetings around to go see his sister get married.

“Jumin,” Zen called his name from the door, and when the two met eyes the younger man walked inside his office and closed it behind him.

“Who let you in?” He asked without a greeting. When Zen gave him a deadpanned look, Jumin realized that had been a stupid question. “You can’t just walk into my office.”

Zen rolled his eyes and walked straight to him to stand behind a chair, long fingers grasping the cushioned leather top. “Yeah, well, what can you do. Yoosung told me it was okay, that you didn’t have any important meeting going on.”

Hm. He’ll have to talk to Yoosung about that. “Just because we’re friends it doesn’t mean you can waltz in whenever you want, meeting or no meeting.” Anyone would’ve said he was being stubborn, but come on. It’s his office and Yoosung knows better than this. He’s a smart guy.

“Drop it already. Why are you being so uptight about this all of a sudden? I walked into your office, big deal! Live a little, Jumin.”

The comment caught his attention and Jumin found himself thinking how similar the man in front of him was to his mother. Which, on it’s own, was a horrible thought. Zen was very passionate and emotional, his mother was the complete opposite. Jumin gets his personality from someone, and it isn’t his womanizer doormat father.

“And don’t go yelling at Yoosung, he assumed it was okay because you were at the shoot not that long ago. Speaking of,” the young artist sighed and looked away, “is there something wrong? I told you this idea was not that great.”

Jumin shook his head then set his phone down on the mahogany desk. “No, I was simply taking a look. I think you did great. Even if my idea isn’t that great, you’ll make it better.”

Zen’s bright eyes widened for a moment, his face beginning to color as silence settled between them. An amusing sight, Jumin thought. “Wha… what did you say?”

A sharp eyebrow twitched up and he settled back on his chair to a comfortable position, his businessman position. “I’m only speaking the truth. Is that not what happened with the cat food commercial. As I predicted.”

Clearing his throat, Zen tried to play it cool and he straightened behind the chair. As if he hadn’t been flustered moments ago. “I suppose. It’s cat food, every pet owner needs food for their cat.”

Jumin couldn’t stop himself from narrowing his eyes in thought. There he goes, downplaying himself in that weird way he used to. It was the strangest thing to him. Couldn’t he see how talented he was? There’s _no way_ he doesn’t considering all the times he toots his own horn in the RFA chatroom.

His friend stared at him and Jumin stared back on purpose. “Are you okay?” He asked softer than the way he was talking to him moments ago. No matter how long they continue to be friends, Zen has this specific way he talks to Jumin no matter the occasion. No matter the teasing or the pranking.

The question threw him off. Jumin hasn’t been acting any different than any other time they’ve spoken in person. Even his complaint about walking into his office wasn’t out of character. Everyone knew Jumin was very anal about some things. But the other seemed genuinely concerned and he couldn’t help feeling a bit touched. Maybe his earlier thoughts were being reflected somehow, and Zen being the observant person he was noticed it.

“I’m okay,” he lied, and somehow he knew Zen knew because the red eyes narrowed instantly. “Work. The usual.”

For a moment the other looked like he was about to argue, but instead he pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders. It’s not that he hasn’t talked about things like this with him, but his family… That was a topic he’d rather not touch when Zen wasn’t able to rebuild the bond with his own. How shitty would it be for him to complain about his own family when the younger man has been alone since he was practically a child.

“Anyway. If there’s no problem then I guess I’ll get going and leave you to your--” His hand went up in the air and he waved it towards the paperwork sitting on Jumin’s desk, “--work like you want me to. I finally have some free time and I’d like to get a drink to celebrate.”

“Oh,” Jumin felt strangely reluctant to let the conversation go. Let the other man go. “And where are you going to get this drink at?”

Zen gasped dramatically after he assessed Jumin’s mood, then grinned from ear to ear at him. “Why. Do you want to join me? I was thinking a bar near my home, but if you want to come along then we can go somewhere else. I know for sure the bar by my home isn’t anywhere near your high standards.”

So the other one wanted to play that way. “What do you know about my high standards?” It’s not that he wasn’t in the mood to play along with their bickering, but his mother’s call left a bad taste in his mouth and he wanted to forget about it and get rid of the damn headache.

“You refused to sit on a blanket on the grass the last time we all went out on a picnic for Saeyoung’s birthday. I rest my case.”

“My pants would’ve gotten stained and grass stains are hard to--”

“I,” Zen enunciated as if he were speaking to a small child, “rest, my, case.”

“Sure,” he randomly said, confusing the artist in the process. Can’t anyone follow his train of thought? “I’ll get a drink with you. But it’ll have to be somewhere I choose, I can only drink certain high quality wine.” He was trying very hard not to smirk, but the corners of his mouth twitched regardless. It seemed to have pissed Zen off. Jumin didn’t know why, he was the one who offered to change the place for Jumin and his high standards.

“You know what,” the other spoke with airs of defeat, “fine. We’ll go where you want to go. But you’ll pay because you’re being an asshole.”

“I’ll send driver Kim for you when I’m finished here.”

Jumin was openly grinning the second the annoyed man turned around and marched out of his office in a mood, his long silvery ponytail swinging behind him. If anything, the prospect of going out for drinks with Zen will keep his mind off of the issues that he will have to eventually deal with.

 

~

 

Jumin Han, that _jerk_. Always getting the upper hand even though Zen wasn’t sure _how_ he did it. It was his stupid confidence no matter how dumb he seemed or looked. That always gets to him. Where does he get it from? Is it the money that gives it to him, his position of power? They’ve been on good terms for a while now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel a bit jealous.

“Why are you like this,” he whispered to himself, stepping out of the tall building and wincing at the sunlight in his eyes.

There was absolutely no point in him feeling jealous of Jumin. They’re very alike, regardless of how they choose to express themselves. Stubborn as hell, the both of them. The thought makes him smile.

Breathing in the evening air, Zen looked around and decided to get something to eat before he made his way home. He had been at the studio all day, quite literally, and hasn’t had anything to eat. No wonder Jumin’s father appointed his son as the Project Director for their company, he had a knack for detail and an efficiency for getting things done perfectly the first time around. There was no other day scheduled for the shoot of that commercial. That meant he had to be there at five in the morning to prep and practice, and shoot takes for the rest of the day until they had everything they needed to complete the project.

Ever since he cleared his name from what Echo Girl accused him of doing, Zen’s been getting more jobs. Be it modeling or acting, he was completely booked for the next few months and he was very grateful for the opportunities coming to him. Seven has mentioned it to him before that he doesn’t complain much about people wanting him just for modeling jobs, but that’s because he realized that he needed to be less prickly about that stuff. His face is always going to be his face, and he needed to accept that fact.

He grabbed pajeon to go from a place near the train station and talked to Yoosung on a chatroom during his ride home. As soon as he walked up the street to his place, the landlord saw him coming and waved him down with a frown on his face.

“You, Zen, I have so many boxes to give you,” the man grumped as he walked inside his home to bring out said boxes. “You need to tell them to stop sending you so much stuff. This is excessive.”

Blushing, Zen carefully took a hold of them and smiled at the man. “Ah, yes, sorry. Ever since my address was published on television my fans keep bringing me gifts, things are getting a little out of control.” Not to mention how popular he’s becoming by the day. He never would’ve thought he’d have this much attention on him at once, and it’d be a lie to say he wasn’t enjoying every minute of it.

“You might need to find somewhere else to live then, that sounds dangerous.”

Zen watched him walk back into his home and he sighed. He knows he should find somewhere else to live, but he can’t seem to be able to let go of this place. It’s where he’s been since he ran away from home. For years he worked multiple jobs to be able to pay rent and not end up in the streets. But at this point his safety was more important than some feeling of nostalgia, and he definitely needs to start looking for a new place to live.

He let his feeling of nostalgia run it’s course when he walked into his home, eyes staring at everything he’s worked so hard to get. Maybe now that he has some free time he’ll start looking. Seven could help him, maybe even Yoosung if Jumin isn’t keeping him working too much.

Wanting to hear the others’ opinions, Zen opened a chat room and let his RFA family see his thoughts.

 **ZEN** : I think I need to find a new place to live ;;

 **MC** : Why??

 **ZEN** : the public knows where I live and I think it’s dangerous

 **ZEN** : any crazy person could come and kill me!!

 **707** : That makes a lot of sense. I could also install a security system if you want ;)

 **ZEN** : yeah, thanks but no thanks. I’d rather not deal with impending explosions

 **MC** : I think it’s a wonderful idea :)) That way we’re all assured of your safety.

 **707** : see, she agrees with me!!

 **MC** : -_- not you, his suggestion of finding a new place to live.

 **MC** : Let’s not get any bombs involved, please. I think we’ve had enough of that for the rest of our lives.

 **707** : obviously I wouldn’t install a security system like that, but I won’t insist love ;-; I know how much you care about Zen.

 **MC** : We all do. Even Jumin <3

 **707** : _Especially_ Jumin <333 lololol

 **ZEN** : I don’t know what you’re talking about lol

 **ZEN** : but yeah, I need a new place…

 **Yoosung** : Move in with me!!!!

 **MC** : Oh yeah, Yoosung was looking for a roommate

 **Yoosung** : Jumin pays well but I need to save money :D

 **Jumin Han** : I’d say I pay more than just ‘well’

 **707** : lolololol

 **ZEN** : Don’t forget to kiss his ass, otherwise your praise is useless to him

 **707** : gotta get something out of it, right? Lol

 **Jumin Han** : All I ask for is honesty

 **Yoosung** : ;;;; I was being honest

 **MC** : I have to go back to work, Jaehee will kill me if she knows I’m here messaging you guys instead of baking.

 **MC** : Zen good luck looking for a new place! Let me know if you need help, me and Saeyoung will gladly help <3

 **Yoosung** : Aww you and Seven are the cutest couple ever. But seriously, new roommate…

 **ZEN** : I’ll think about it. I’m so used to being on my own haha

 **707** : Makes sense… It’s a bit difficult for me to get used to having my brother here, but I’d do anything for him so

 **Yoosung** : Saeran is lucky to have you Seven :)

He put his phone aside and booted up his laptop to start his search. All he needed was a bedroom, a kitchen, and somewhere to stack the gifts his fans send him. His eyes glanced at the current stack of boxes by his tv. He needed to open those and publicly thank all the wonderful people that thought of him. But for now, a search for a new home.

Dinner container empty and ten apartments later, Zen’s phone began to buzz, ungluing his eyes from the screen to answer the call.

“Yes?” He said distracted by the incredible views an apartment way out of his budget had.

“My driver is on the way to get you,” Jumin’s deep voice cut through the silence of his home. It was dark outside already, and there were no cars driving up and down the street as they are during daylight hours. He didn’t notice how long he searched up apartments.

Time for a well deserved break. Zen closed the screen on his laptop and got up from the couch to throw away the container where he ate out of. He doesn’t like getting takeout often, but due to the high volume of jobs he’s been getting he’s had no choice but to reach for the convenient food. He should start cooking at home again, he likes to cook.

“Okay, I’ll wait for him.” Zen cut the call short there and stretched, feeling some of his bones pop in a very pleasing way. Tomorrow morning he’ll get up and run, then he’ll continue his quest to find an apartment.

It wasn’t long before the driver knocked on his door. Zen didn’t ask him where they were going, and instead sat in Jumin’s ridiculously fancy car with his head against the window staring at all the lights of the city. Getting a drink with Jumin Han the jerk. They’ve had drinks before, like at the last RFA party as well as all the previous ones. But they’ve never had drinks before like this. He’s curious to see how the other man behaves outside his stupid office and his stupid business mode.

He knows V was his best friend, but he finds himself wondering if he has other friends outside the RFA. Not that he’s one to talk. He doesn’t have other friends outside the RFA since he’s so busy with work that he can’t find it in his heart to go around looking for them. Besides, he wouldn’t trust anyone else.

Ah, he supposes is the same with Jumin. The man was so incredibly rich that anyone approaching him would raise a red flag instantly no matter their intentions. Plus he was equally married to his job. Just like Zen is up early in the day and gets done working late at night, Jumin does the same.

At this rate neither will find a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Whatever the jerk was into, Zen didn’t care nor was that the point.

He was dropped off at the most pretentious bar he’s ever been to. From the guy at the front opening the door to the guests, to the way he was led to the inside of the place by a lovely woman wearing the cutest uniform he’s ever seen. It reminded him of when Jaehee used to work as the chief secretary.

Spotting Jumin was the easiest thing. The older man was already sitting by the bar facing the opposite way, chatting with someone on the phone. Zen slipped on the seat besides him and waved the guy at the bar to order a beer. A half full glass of wine was already sitting in front of the other.

Jumin raised a finger at him without looking over. At least he acknowledge him being there, Zen thought.

“I just want to know why you didn’t tell me about the wedding,” Jumin argued back, clipped and clearly irritated. “And I didn’t have a right? I get that we’re on the other side of the world, but that doesn’t excuse the choice you made. Speaking of choices, do you really think it’s a good idea to bring her along?”

Since the other wasn’t paying attention, Zen decided to go ahead and get two beers just in case he needs them. The conversation seemed personal, and he wasn’t sure whether he should be sitting there or not.

“I don’t agree. This is Junghee’s wedding, you should be more tactful.”

Zen took a big gulp of his drink as soon as it arrived and busied himself with his phone. Junghee is Jumin’s younger sister, if he remembers correctly. He sometimes forgets that the older man has a family of his own, brother, sister, mother. Usually Chairman Han and Jumin Han is what goes together.

“I ask you to think about what you’re going to cause by bringing your new girlfriend to her wedding. Where mother will be at. _Mother._ ” Jumin didn’t seem to let his father, he assumes by the girlfriend comment, respond and ended the call with a frustrated sigh. “Sorry,” he mumbled before reaching for his glass of wine and taking a sip out of it.

A fine silver eyebrow was raised at the habit. “Just chug it, I’m not going to judge you for wanting to forget about what just happened.”

Jumin turned to look at him and then at the beer on his hand. “Didn’t mean for you to listen to that.”

“Is that what was bothering you earlier?” Zen was still irked at the fact that the jerk lied to him. As if he wasn’t easy to read. Okay, so he wasn’t _easy_ to read, but Jumin suppresses his emotions so much that when even the tiniest of traces of them come out, they’re easily pinpointed. “You can tell me, I’ll listen.”

“How’s your family,” the other says instead, trying to change the subject, “did your brother get back to you after the last time you got together?”

The idiot would think switching from his family to Zen’s would totally make him change the subject. But fine, he’ll humor him for now. “No, and I’m okay with it. I can’t force people that don’t want to love me, to love me. That’s just how life is, Jumin. Maybe you don’t understand and you’re willing to put up with a lot of things from your dad. But my family is simply not interested in me or my life, or who I’ve become. And now, back to yours. What’s up?”

It took the older man a moment to think whether to answer that or not, but eventually he relented and looked down at his glass of wine. “My sister’s wedding is in a few weeks and I just found out about it because my father didn’t think I’d want to know. Then I find out he decided to go and bring his new girlfriend along with him. My mother seems to be okay with that, but me and the rest of the world knows it won’t be as soon as that woman sets foot inside my sister’s home.”

He ended the sentence there, gladly bringing the wine glass up to his lips once again to keep him from spilling anymore of his feelings to Zen. But dammit if Zen doesn’t mean what he says.

“Why would Chairman Han assume you didn’t want to know? It’s your sister…”

Jumin narrowed his eyes at the wall across from him. Deep in thought, probably recalling memories that give him the answer to the question. Zen couldn’t help but to notice the way his dark hair swooped to the side, framing his face lovingly. The bastard was very good looking, even when he was annoyed. Tragic.

“When him and my mother divorced, I stayed with my father and my siblings left with my mother. It’s logical that he’d assume I don’t care what happens with the family I chose to leave behind.”

Zen rolled his eyes at the pathetic excuse of an excuse that was. There he goes trying to excuse everything his dad does wrong. He did the same when the asshole tried to sell out his own son to a woman he barely knew himself. Chairman Han, no matter how highly Jumin thought of him, was the biggest asshole in Zen’s eyes.

Long, elegant fingers gripped the neck of the wine glass. The sleeve on that arm was being played with by the other hand as Jumin stared off at the wall behind the bar. He’s been doing that the entire time Zen’s been there. Anxious, that’s what Jumin was at the moment. He was anxious.

“You can be angry at him, you know?” He said offhandedly. Jumin wanted honesty, then he was getting honesty. “You can be pissed, and curse him out, and yell at him for what he did.”

Not wanting to let the other dismiss his thoughts, Zen waved the bartender over once more and asked for soju if they had any. He heard Jumin mutter that he’d much rather have makgeolli, but the younger man ignored him. The guy needed a good night of being drunk. That stick he had so far up his ass needed to come out so he could let himself _feel_ what he _needed_ to feel.

As soon as the cups were set down in front of them, Zen handed one to Jumin and raised an eyebrow at the way the other looked at it with disgust. Oh please. “Just chug it, dude.” Before he could show him how, Jumin went ahead and threw the whole thing down his throat in a single swig, surprising Zen.

So much for being all pompous. “You’ve done this before?” He wondered aloud in surprise.

Jumin winced at the sharp taste, then shook his head to answer Zen’s question. “I’ve never done that. Is it a popular way to drink alcohol within commoners?”

Despite how serious the other sounded saying that, Zen knew he was kidding and probably trying to bait him into an argument. Probably so they can stop talking about his issues. But no. There needed to be an intervention and Zen would gladly take care of it with the help of soju.

“Aha,” he agreed for the sake of the intervention and served him another cup. “Go ahead, you either get trashed or you let yourself feel emotions.”

“Emotions are pointless. They lead to nothing productive.”

It was sad to hear him say things like that, he had to admit. Jumin wasn’t a bad guy at all, he really wasn’t. In fact, he was a very nice and protective person when it came to his friends and family.

“Come on Jumin, you can’t tell me you don’t feel anything. We all know you do, you just work very hard at keeping it all inside.” And that wasn’t healthy. At all. This is coming from someone who used to smoke and drink alcohol for breakfast. “Whatever you feel, I agree with you. So let it out, you can talk to me.”

Zen’s big heart was taking over at this point. He simply couldn’t let the older man deal with things the way he always does. It was frustrating to watch. They have enough with Saeyoung being depressed and hiding behind a persona. And while Jumin isn’t hiding behind a persona per se, he is suppressing his real feelings. Zen can tell. It was _so_ easy to tell when it came to Jumin. Why? He doesn’t know, maybe he’s talented in figuring Jumin out.

After the second drink was gone, Jumin turned to meet his eyes and said. “Fine,” in a low voice. “I found out about the wedding through my mother. She hasn’t talked to me in almost three years now. _Three years._  She didn’t ask about the engagement to Sarah Choi, because she either didn’t hear about it, or she didn’t care.”

Red eyes softened at the thought of what Jumin must be feeling. Zen could definitely imagine.

“My father probably hasn’t mentioned it to her, which, fine. But why is he bringing his new girlfriend to the wedding? It’s a family matter, not a family and gold diggers matter. He already ruined my relationship with him, now he wants to ruin my sister’s relationship with him.”

And there it was, the confession Zen was hoping to hear. The wine glass was sitting on the bar again, Jumin’s hands busy gripping his pants as they rested on the soft fabric. He was angry. He was pissed. Not much could be seen on his face, but the small details said it all. His reddened neck, the light twitch on the middle of his brows, the way his lips curled down in a displeased expression.

“I thought me and my father had a close relationship, but now I’m not so sure and it’s daunting to say the least. And my mother… the least she could do is care a little bit about her oldest child. What he’s up to and _why_ he had been engaged to a woman closely related to her ex-husband's girlfriend.”

Zen quickly moved and reached for the man’s hand in an impulsive gesture. “It’s okay to be angry and to feel sad,” he reminded him gently.

“You said that,” the other replied monotonously in an attempt to reel back in some of the anger. “But it doesn’t make me feel any better. My chest still hurts.”

“That’s because you don’t know how to deal with these emotions. Instead of constantly bottling everything up, find healthy ways to release the stress dude.” Zen likes to exercise whenever he’s feeling anything that isn’t neutral or positive. Sometimes he’s so happy he’ll exercise as well.

“I don’t want to feel angry at my father, or my mother,” Jumin uttered, “...but I have to. I wish there was a way I could get back at them.”

That last statement surprised Zen. His eyes widened and he let go of the warm hand he had been holding. “What do you mean?”

“They’re going to ruin Junghee’s wedding with the epic fight that’s about to happen. She hasn’t done anything wrong. None of us have. Mother and Father, they’re both very selfish sometimes, and we’re the ones that end up being casualties due to their selfishness.”

Zen was already done with his drinks as well, so he poured them both one last drink of soju as he continued to listen to the older man. Even people like Jumin had problems with his family. No amount of money could fix dysfunctional families.

“Okay, I’m down for you getting revenge if that’s what you want. But how exactly will you do that?”

Jumin blinked slowly before meeting his eyes again, the telltale tiredness of being tipsy showed in those dark eyes and it made Zen smile. “I don’t know. Maybe pissing them off would be a good way.”

Nodding, Zen thought about it. Yeah, it was fair at least. Stupid, but fair. “You could not go to the wedding.”

“No, no. I have to go, it’s not my sister’s fault,” he reminded him to which Zen nodded again. “I want to upset them, do something they would’ve never expected me to do.” He was about to say something when Jumin continued with his thoughts. “You should come along to the wedding.”

What.

“How exactly would that be of any help?” He genuinely asked, wondering what was going through the man’s weird head.

Jumin thought about it before shrugging. “You’re a man. You’re an artist. You’re absolutely gorgeous.” The last comment made Zen blink in surprise and blush at how bold and honest it was. “You’d take the spotlight away from both of them, not to mention my mother would throw a fit at how similar to my father I am. My father would just never expect it and his shock is good enough for me.”

He wanted to ask what he meant by that making Jumin similar to his father, but he didn’t. He had the feeling that he didn’t actually _want_ to know.

Zen wanted to refuse. He did. It’s not that a trip to another country wouldn’t be a great way to spend some off time even if Jumin was there too, but this was a family problem and he didn’t want to get involved in it. Except he couldn’t refuse.

All it took for Zen to agree was a glance at those dark, cold eyes filled with so much emotion and sadness. For Jumin to bare his soul to him, share the pain he kept buried deep inside, and make him wonder how hard it must have been for the older man to keep it all bottled up inside. He pretended everything was fine for so long that he couldn't even tell Zen what hurt more anymore. So here he sits next to him at the bar, instantly regretting his decision but at the same time feeling like he could do it for him. For Jumin, the person who stood by him when he needed it the most.

This Han wedding better be the best wedding in the world, because Zen doesn't just let anyone parade him around like a damn trophy wife to piss parents off in the pettiest game of revenge he's ever heard of.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll do it.”

Zen reached for the soju bottle sitting near Jumin's arm and tried to see what they put in it, because he never thought this guy would stoop that low. It just wasn't like him, and somehow that made it all the more enthralling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave him a younger sister; Junghee, and a younger brother; Juwon. Both as beautiful as Jumin and even more of a nightmare than Zen would've ever thought.


	2. When Zen meets Jumin Han's siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story develops as I write it. A friendly reminder that this is a slow burn, so for now enjoy the development of UST haha
> 
> Cross your fingers things get juicier next chapter!

**DAY 1**

* * *

 

 

Elizabeth 3rd was sitting on his marble counter as she happily munched on the freshly cooked food his chef gave her that morning. Jumin watched her, distracted by the fact that today he was flying out to America along with Zen. It’s been two weeks since he invited the younger man along, and he wishes he hadn’t done that. _This is why emotions are a person’s worst enemy_ , he thought ruefully. His cat got up and brushed against his dress shirt, thankful for the delicious breakfast, but not even her loving caresses could distract him from what was going on in his head.

He should message the young actor and tell him that the plans are off. It’s not like he cares about what the other had to do to clear the two weeks they’ll be gone. Because he _doesn’t care_. “I don’t care,” he mumbled to the cat who stared up at him before continuing to brush herself on his arm. It was hard to convince himself of such statement.

Jumin cares a lot about Zen. He cares _a lot_ about his RFA family, sometimes a little excessively, but that’s just how he is with people that care and love him in return. Zen went through a headache trying to accommodate the two weeks in California into his schedule, it would be the biggest dick move to tell him he was uninvited.

The revenge plot he thought of while being tipsy was honestly the dumbest thing he has ever thought of, that includes the terrible business ideas he’s come to see flop and die miserably on business boards’ desks. Which haven’t been that many, he reminded himself. It embarrasses him because he could’ve come up with something that was better and actually efficient in getting him what he wanted. Not to mention his family. _His family_.

The soju shouldn’t have been consumed.

This was clearly all _Hyun’s_ fault.

With a heavy sigh, Jumin grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. “Are you ready to go, Elizabeth?” He turned to the cat who simply walked up to him hoping to get pet. She was going to be left on the care of Yoosung while he was gone. He hated putting her in the traveling cage, but there was so much he could do to keep her safe while transporting her.

Outside Yoosung’s apartment, Jumin glanced at his phone when he heard he got a text message, eyes parting from the struggle the other was having with the travel cage and the moaning cat.

ZEN  :  
Where am I meeting you for the flight?

Jumin Han  :  
I will be picking you up, obviously. Give me thirty minutes.

ZEN  :  
-_- Don’t say obviously as if I’m supposed to know this. Ok.

Yoosung looked up with big and bright eyes, smiling so wide no one would believe he was having a hard time managing Elizabeth 3rd. “Are you and Zen really traveling together to America?” He asked biting his lip as if he were keeping himself from saying anything else.

“Yes. I’m going to a wedding.” Which shouldn’t be strange, Jumin is always going somewhere. But he supposes the fact that Zen is coming along must be intriguing for the others. “I asked him to come along because I thought he’d like to meet some important directors from America.” Not that big of a lie he thinks, there's definitely going to be an array of family friends who some happen to run in such circles.

The blond kid hummed in agreement but the unguarded look he was giving him said something else. Almost like he knew a secret that Jumin didn’t. “You thought he’d like that, huh. Well, I’m happy you’re thinking about him instead of fighting with him! Anyways, I won’t keep you any longer, go and have fun on your trip!” As if he’s the one that antagonizes the other. Try the other way around. He gets the insults without doing anything, without even being present in the chat rooms.

The kid didn’t let him say goodbye to Elizabeth 3rd properly but Jumin did need to go and he did get to spend the morning with her. “Assistant Kim, you better take good care of her,” he threatened from behind the front door. When he got no reply Jumin decided to text him about it later, and left to pick up Zen.

His friend had been sitting outside the front of his home, resting on his luggage and engrossed on his phone like they all usually are when they open chat rooms in the RFA app. Driver Kim grabbed his suitcase and put it in the back of the car along with Jumin’s, and the two were off to the airport.

Zen looked good as always, his black, fitted ripped jeans a little more casual than usual but Jumin wasn’t complaining. He was wearing appropriate clothing as far as he's concerned. They were going to be in his private jet for many hours, if that’s what he found comfortable then he could be his guest. _I’m sure,_ Jumin thinks, _that Zen could wear a trash bag and somehow make it look good._ Without thinking much of it Jumin stared at the other longer than usual and Zen noticed right away.

“Am I too casual? You could’ve told me I needed to wear a suit… It's hard to tell when it's appropriate to do that since you wear one _all_ the time.” The younger man spoke, brushing his fingers down the long ponytail hanging from his shoulder with his face slightly contorted into a frown. Not that Zen looked much different, his face was just so young and perfect. It was annoying sometimes.

“There’s nothing wrong with what you’re wearing,” he conferred in his usual flat tone. He also noted he didn’t say ‘you didn’t need a suit’, which he thinks would’ve been a more appropriate response, but he knows the other has issues with thinking he’s always the problem. “We’re going straight to my sister’s estate once we arrive.” Zen looked nice and there was no need for formal clothing.

Zen’s eye widened at his words and Jumin wondered why that was. “Your sister has an estate?” He asked incredulously.

“Naturally.”

Crossing his arms, Zen snorted at him and barked a laugh at what he said. “Naturally? There’s nothing natural about someone as young as your sister owning an estate. That’s crazy!”

Jumin thought about that for a second. Sure, to commoners a twenty-two year old young woman shouldn’t be able to own an estate. But she wasn’t just any twenty-two year old young woman. She was Junghee Han, daughter to an incredibly rich man, Zen knew this. Why was it a surprise to him that she’d have an estate. “I’m surprised you’re surprised,” He added when the other waited for him to react to his statement.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be surprised,” Zen eventually concurred. “You have so many unnecessary things, you rich jerk.”

A fleeting thought occurred to him. It should be weird how much he likes it when Zen calls him jerk. When the two argue, or when the other is annoyed at him, it’s an indication that when he’s annoyed or angry the actor turns all of his attention to Jumin. And for the first time in a very, very long time Jumin doesn’t mind that attention. In fact, he seeks it.

“My sister needs a home, how is her estate unnecessary?” No feeling can compare to the satisfaction he gets when he teases the other until he’s riled up.

Groaning in annoyance, Zen turned away from him but couldn’t stop from arguing back. “Yes, but there’s no need to have such a big home when it’s just one or two people. That’s so pointless!”

“If she has the money to buy it, why does it matter? If I can buy my own plane, which I have, that doesn’t mean I have to fly other people. It’s my money, I do whatever I want with it.”

Zen closed his eyes and sighed in aggravation. “Sure. You’re right, it’s your money and you do whatever you want with it.” This argument didn’t go the way Jumin expected it to go, and before he could goad the other some more Zen tilted his head and asked, “wait, you have your own plane?”

Just as he asked, Jumin pointed out the window where the car stopped and Zen leaned into his space to see what he was talking about. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened in shock. Jumin on the other hand felt himself hold his breath.

“A private jet!?” He exclaimed as he stared at the small plane waiting for them.

He nodded, the incredulous reaction making him smile. Zen was _such_ a commoner. It offends him that the other doesn’t think about Jumin enough to know these things. Of course he has his own private jet. How else would he constantly fly in and out of the country for business? And his sister’s estate, he should’ve assumed that as well.

“I find it hard to believe you’ve bought yourself a plane…” Zen pouted in thought. “Yeah, despite being such a pompous asshole you’re not _that_ big on showing off.”

He smirked. “I thought I only liked to rub my wealth on other people’s faces.”

“You know what I mean!”

And technically he didn’t buy it himself, it was a gift from his father. But he wasn’t about to bring him up right now. Zen was correct though, and the thought of the other knowing such fact made him perk up.

The driver opened the door for them and they went through all the steps necessary to be able to board. The younger man’s silver ponytail swished from side to side as he looked around the runway curiously. The two were soon being led the way to the aircraft, and the workers kept turning around to stare at Zen in awe. Zen’s face began to change colors but Jumin doubted it was the stares. The man was used to that, going up on stages to act and sing. Movies, commercials, photo shoots. He’s used to stares.

“Why are you getting flustered,” Jumin finally asked him once they were taken to their seats. “I haven’t teased you much just yet.” Which he thoroughly enjoys. He’d go as far as to say it was one of the most enjoyable things he does. Yeah. It was up with Elizabeth 3rd and wine.

The other glared at him but his red face made it look less menacing than it was probably meant to be. “Oh, quit it already,” he huffed, already annoyed with his attitude. “It’s so weird getting on a private jet.”

“I don’t understand why.”

Red eyes blinked as realization flickered in them. He met Jumin’s dark grey ones shyly and the moment was gone when he decided to turn and look out the small window to glance at the sky. “You can’t relate, so it doesn’t matter.”

They fell into comfortable silence after that. Jumin didn’t feel like arguing about _that_ because it was true, he couldn’t relate. Eventually the plane was ready to leave. One of the two attendants in the plane brought out his favorite wine and poured him a glass of it, the simple act making him feel instantly relaxed.

“Would you like some?” He asked the younger man as he raised his glass to sip it.

Zen shook his head and eyed him. “Are you sure _you_ want some? If you’re anything like how you were the other night--”

“Let’s not talk about that night,” Jumin said primly, interrupting him. Rude, but necessary. That night is a night that shall never be brought up ever. The way he spoke, the way he _expressed_ himself was very unbecoming of him. He shouldn’t listen to Zen when it comes to things like this. Time ago he considered teaching the actor how to control his emotions, maybe he should go back to that idea.

The dumbfounded expression almost made him choke on his wine, so Jumin coughed softly into his hand and pretended to drink more of his wine.

“How--but--” Words didn’t seem to be his strongest suit, which was rather ironic. He was always so inarticulate around Jumin. “We can’t _not_ talk about that night! We’re literally on a private jet, on the way to California because of that night.”

“I regret that decision induced by cheap alcohol and your--”

“Oh hell no!” Zen was getting upset and not on the way Jumin likes. “Don’t try to blame your dumb ideas on me, I’m not going to let you. You don’t know how to deal with your emotions therefore you got yourself into this. And now I’m here, coming with you.” His silver eyebrows dipped and he asked, “why?” softly.

Jumin shrugged. “Because I still want you to come along with me,” he confessed nonchalantly. Yeah, he does. It’s something he doesn’t quite comprehend yet, but Zen’s presence does something to him that he likes. It’s nice to have around someone who understands him more than others. Jaehee got to understand a lot about him but now she’s gone. Yoosung is nowhere near that level of understanding. Zen on the other hand, he understood a bit more than his previous assistant and his new assistant. The reason is most likely the fact that they _are_ somewhat similar.

His red eyes narrowed as he tried to comprehend Jumin’s words. “...because you still wanted me to come along. And did you think of me when you made that decision or were you being the selfish ass you usually are?”

He isn’t selfish. Jumin is actually very much _not_ selfish. “Yes, I did. I know you went through some trouble moving your schedule around to accommodate this trip.”

Zen’s lips formed a small o as he realized how much of a jerk he was being this time around. “Sorry,” he apologized, confusing Jumin in the process. “I guess that was uncalled for. But now what? I thought I was coming along to make your parents angry at you. What am I going to do now?”

His hand reached over for his sleeve as he thought about it. If V had been alive, he would’ve asked him to come along. Despite the distance, he knows his friend would’ve agreed for this particular occasion. Unfortunately he wasn’t with them anymore. With V there, he would’ve had a pleasant time but he wouldn’t have gotten revenge on his parents. He was far too nice and polite to go along with any mischievous plan Jumin could come up with.

“Stand by my side and look pretty?”

“So the original plan…”

Sighing, Jumin looked out the window. “I suppose.” This seemed a lot less complicated when he was multiple glasses deep in soju. Unfortunately he didn’t ask them to bring any of that in the plane. All he ever has is his favorite red wines. “We’ll see when we get there. Why don’t we let them make the decision for us?”

Zen couldn’t look more confused, but he doesn’t know his family like Jumin does. Once he meets them he’ll understand what he means. “Don’t worry about it now,” he added.

“I don’t know Jumin, I think you’re a chicken shit.”

What the hell. Their eyes met and Jumin frowned at the insult. “What do you mean?”

The other bit his lips before widening them into a smirk. “You heard me. Two weeks ago you were so sure about what you wanted to do, and now you’re backing up. How lame. I thought you finally got guts, that you would finally give your dad a big fuck you.”

“I would _never_ do that.” Barbaric.

The younger man dismissed the comment with a scoffed then continued with his personal attacks. “No, you would never do it. You’re too much of a daddy’s little boy to do it. He can wipe the floor with you, and as long as he says I love you and buys you expensive gifts you’re willing to let it happen.”

What his father did hurt him, yes, but Jumin understands what his father was thinking then. His father has a weakness and that weakness is easily exploited. He would never force Jumin to marry someone he didn’t want to marry. He…

“He _arranged a marriage_ for you. Your dad thought your choice, your opinion was _so_ _insignificant_ that he didn’t even care to ask for it beforehand. Just because you’re not interested in women doesn’t mean he has the right to make a decision for you. It’s _your_ life, you get to decide what to do with it. You’re hurt! You said it yourself.”

Shaking his head, Jumin felt himself getting annoyed at the turn the conversation took. He even ignored the comment about him not being interested in women. “He didn’t mean any harm. He was simply doing something he thought was best--”

“Oh my God. You’re still making excuses for him. After everything you said to me, you’ll sit there and excuse his behavior.” Zen looked disappointed and Jumin wasn’t prepared for the way that stung. He’s _never_ had anyone be disappointed in him. “I guess we’re not alike after all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what I mean Jumin,” he replied without any sort of emotion. “The least you could do is stand up for yourself but I guess you expect someone else to do that for you, huh. Maybe your money will.”

“Funny. I did offer to do that for you when you couldn’t stop moping around after the accusations against you.” He doesn’t appreciate being called a _chicken shit_.

“Yeah,” Zen spat back, “too bad I don’t have the money to do the same to you.”

 

~

 

 **ZEN** : I can’t stand the jerk!!!!!!!!

 **707** : did you guys already leave for cali?

 **ZEN** : Yeah, we’re unfortunately already in the middle of the sky. ;(

 **MC** : Try not to pick a fight and you’ll be okay.

 **Yoosung** : I had a feeling this wouldn’t last very long…

 **MC** : They’ve been on good terms for a long time now, a fight was meant to happen at some point, they’re both very passionate people

 **707** : I wouldn’t call Jumin passionate, but sure…

 **Yoosung** : Oh no, let’s not get into that please.

 **ZEN** : …. ANYWAY, the jerk!! I wish I hadn’t come along on the stupid trip.

“You know I can see the messages, right?” Jumin spoke from across him, eyes trained on the papers he was holding while his phone rested on the armrest of his seat. If he’s reading the chat room, Zen doesn’t understand why he pretends to be doing work.

“Then don’t see them,” he replied childishly.

Zen avoided meeting his eyes, still angry at the older man and his inability to stand up for himself. If Zen had been in his position he would’ve already raised his middle fingers and walked away from that kind of people. Jumin likes to go around saying family is everything, family is this, is that. But a single look at him and his family tells him the other pulls that sermon straight out of his ass. There’s nothing loving about a father selling his child out just for a pair of legs and a pair of boobs. Or a mother that doesn’t bother to do her damn job, be a mother. It’s absurd.

MC  :  
Zen, don’t fight with him… You know how he is.

ZEN  :  
I’m trying, princess, but he’s so childish and stupid sometimes. I can’t help getting angry at him.

MC  :  
He’s a very smart and educated man, but sometimes it’s easy to see he had no normal childhood.

ZEN  :  
Oh, he’s nowhere near normal that’s for sure  
I just needed to vent and at the same time let him know that I was venting.

MC  :  
Who’s the childish one now? Haha if you get too angry you’ll develop wrinkles!

ZEN  :  
HOW DARE YOU;;;

MC  :  
You know he listens to everything you say, right? Angry or not, he listens.

ZEN  :  
Aha, then explain to me what were the four years of me telling him I have an allergy and him not giving a crap about it.

MC  :  
Saeyoung has the perfect response to that… but trust me, okay? He does listen to you.

ZEN  :  
If only that were the case. I wish he’d listen to me now…

Sometimes Zen feels sorry for him. He’s so blinded that at times he comes off as dense. What’s the point on getting angry though? Jumin is grasping at anything to not let his relationship with his family fall apart, it’s all _he_ has. The two differ on that. Zen never needed his family. He would’ve love for them to be loving and supportive, but his heart was somewhere else and he got through it just fine. Jumin on the other hand would probably shrivel up and die if he didn’t have his dad. Ironic, Zen is the social person while the older man prefers his solitude. It goes to show it’s not easy to see who’s emotionally unstable.

707  :  
I’d call that flirting my man.

“You won’t be alone,” he breathed out softly, ignoring Saeyoung’s unrelated text message, “if you confront your family, you’ll still have us.” He doesn’t want to look at Jumin and see his stupid face, yet at the same time he’s curious to see what expression the other carries because of his words.

It’s true. Saeyoung, Yoosung, Jaehee, their precious princess, and himself are always going to be there for each other. V would’ve been there for him too but…

He didn’t get a reply. Instead the two got lost in their own little world for the rest of the flight. If Jumin wasn’t going to drop it then he would. Eventually Zen got tired of reading his newest script, his heart not in it, so he shifted a bit on his seat and gave napping a try.

His mind drifted to a time years ago when he first met V because of Rika. The memory of such beautiful girl always makes him smile, although sadly these days. Thankfully she’s being taken care of properly. His heart is at peace for doing what he thought would be best despite everyone’s defiance. It was because of her that he met his RFA family. She helped him fill the cavity in his heart left by the people that should’ve been there for him from the very beginning. Nothing anyone said would’ve made him turn his back to her, not even what she made Saeran do.

It’s incredible how Jumin doesn’t hate him after that. The nature of his relationship with Rika is questionable, but V was far more important to him than anyone else would’ve been. He did anything that man wanted him to do or anything anyone that that man loved wanted him to do, including approaching Zen about job opportunities.

God, he remembers that day like it was yesterday. With no sign of his strange prophetic dreams, he agreed to meet Jumin Han. Despite being good looking, Zen couldn’t help but to think he was more a weirdo than anything else. Stoic, cold, distant. Throwing his money on his face as if he were some sort of charity case. He could smile at the memory. Years after that fated day he understands that’s not what it was at all. Jumin had been asked by his two most precious people to do that. And maybe, just maybe the asshole saw his potential in him.

V and Rika were the excuse for a lot of things Jumin did. Once upon a time he wondered if Jumin was inadequate to make his own decisions. That was obviously not the case. The man successfully runs his position in his father’s company. So the other two thoughts were he was either in love with V and or Rika, or he thought it vulnerable to express care for other human beings. Turns out the guy had feelings for Rika _and_ he found it vulnerable to express care for other people that weren’t V or Rika.

By the time they were about to land, Zen was tired and moody and very openly staring at Jumin. Even in his sleep he can’t stop thinking about him. The obnoxious man will be obnoxious no matter what. Tired red eyes blinked as he watched the executive sit straight, still reading except this time it was a book, the asshole gave airs of a king who looked down at the peasants.

“You slept for a long time,” he offered. Smooth and deep voice tingling Zen’s ears pleasantly.

He hummed and looked away. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

They were calmly ushered out of the jet and fussed about going through customs by the airport workers. Once that was over, Zen followed the other into a car just as fancy as the one he drives around in Korea. This whole experience was not only strange but also exciting. He’s never been outside of Korea. His eyes kept wandering to everything, from the people walking around as they were taken out of the airport, to the buildings and signs. At that moment something occurred to him.

“I don’t speak English,” he realized despite them being surrounded by people speaking English around them. Since he followed Jumin’s steps, he didn’t realize they were all talking to him in another language. Just how tired was he?

Jumin turned to him with a blank expression on his face. “I figured that much. You barely finished school as it is.”

Zen glared at him but dropped the urge to insult the other. He wasn’t wrong. When Jumin’s the one who says things like that about him, it makes him feel inferior. There is no reason for him to feel that way, the fact is Jumin doesn’t think of him as inferior, but still.

Sighing, he rubbed his face in annoyance. He’s about to go into a den of rich, pretentious assholes.

They drove through beautiful views, everything so big and different from what he knows. California was a very popular and well known place about America, it was fascinating to be able to experience it in person and not just on television or magazines. Huh. He wonders what Jumin’s siblings do that they live in America and not in Korea. Their family split in two when his parents divorced, but what compelled them to come all the way here and not stay in their country where the headquarters for their dad’s company are at.

The ocean was visible from the highway, and when he thought that was a beautiful sight they turned into a _huge_ property. The allée was gorgeous. Bright and lush trees lined the road leading up to the most amazing house he’s ever seen in his life. And he’s seen Jumin’s building before. This didn’t compare. They were clearly up on a hill and the city became more and more visible the closer they got to the building.

“ _This_ is your sister’s home?” He asked, mouth slightly open as he looked around. It went from beautiful country to stunning luxurious and modern. There were so many windows in the house that he wondered how it all fared through natural disasters such as hail. Then again, if they can afford this house they can certainly afford bulletproof glass windows.

“Technically it’s her and her fiance’s home, but yes, this is where she lives. Come on,” Jumin extended his hand to Zen when the driver opened the door, but he didn’t take it.

Distracted by the flashy exterior, Zen almost tripped coming out of the car. “Is this where the wedding will be?” He had to ask.

“Of course not. Although I suppose that would’ve been a great idea. They do have perfectly manicured landscape…” The elegant eyebrows furrowed in thought. “They’re having a beach wedding.”

Oh, that makes sense. They’re in California where beach weddings are popular. “Where would you pick for your wedding?” Zen asked as his mind took him to sweet thoughts of things he would like to have in the future.

“Hm, wherever my partner chooses,” the other relented thoughtfully. “What about you?”

“Probably the same to be honest. I don’t have a preference, all that matters to me is that we love each other and we never break each other’s hearts.” Love is all that matters to him. And his career, but love first. “We could get married in a department store for all I care. I heard that’s popular here in America.”

Jumin chuckled to Zen’s surprise. He grinned at the way his handsome face transformed from cold and stoic to warm and friendly. That laugh, he’s heard it before but he wishes he could hear it more often. The older man spends far too much time lost in cat land and business land to spare a few moments to live like he should. It’s good for one’s health to laugh every once in awhile.

“That would be a wedding worth attending,” he chuckled some more, turning to meet Zen’s eyes.

They looked at each other and a strange energy developed between them. Zen’s never really felt that before with the older man. “I’m going to convince your future wife to marry you in a department store.”

Before they could continue with their light teasing, a loud clank and a surprised gasp interrupted the moment. The two whipped their heads over to see a very young and beautiful looking female Jumin staring back at them with wide bright eyes and a huge smile on her face.

“Ha! I knew it!” She screamed, moving away from the door as it was opened wider to show another young looking Jumin, this one a male for sure. His siblings, he logically assumed. “I told you it wasn’t a girlfriend,” she boasted and turned to her brother with her palm open.

Juwon pouted and groaned at her excitement. He slapped a couple of bills on her hand then crossed his arms across his chest while he stared at him up and down suspiciously.

“Hello,” he greeted them, releasing the stress he didn’t know he was holding at hearing them speak Korean with each other.

The girl moves to them fast and approaches Zen with a glint in her eyes. “Hi! I’m Junghee Han, Jumin’s sister. And you are?” She even extended her hand to him which he found incredibly cute. She was like a much prettier, nicer version of Jumin!

He moved for it and kissed it instead. “I’m Ze--”

“This is Hyun Ryu, a good friend of mine. So _behave_ ,” her older brother warned both as he let his eyes slide from her to the boy.

Junghee scrunched her face at her brother before giving Zen an appreciative look. “We’ve been waiting for you two! Come on, let me show you around!”

Zen allowed himself to be led into the home which was even more impressive on the inside. Spacious and airy, with all the windows open to let the breeze in. The floors were stained, polished concrete and the walls very cool, light tones of greys and whites.

“We were waiting because we thought you brought a girlfriend to the wedding, but I suppose this is as close as it’ll ever get,” he heard Juwon say to Jumin but Zen had no chance to argue with the smartass because he was pulled through a door and into an even bigger room.

This one was the main room. There were couches placed strategically so you could gaze out to the entire city from the living room. A grand piano sat against a wall between two big glass windows, that excited him. It’s been a long time since he’s gotten to play the piano but he briefly wondered if playing it for Junghee would be a good idea. Jumin doesn’t seem to have a problem with his siblings per se, it’s mostly his parents.

“Hyun,” Junghee interrupted his thoughts as she let go of his hand to turn around and walk backwards into yet another hall, her face smiling and blushing. “I’m surprised my brother brought _you_ as his plus one to my wedding, but at least you’re pretty hot!”

“Uh, thanks.” He’s called that literally everywhere he goes, but he doesn’t know how to feel about Jumin’s little sister calling him that. She seems friendly enough though, maybe she’s just being polite. “And trust me, I’m surprised I came with Jumin.” Let’s be real, if the other hadn’t played him like a damn fiddle, he wouldn’t be here. But Zen is weak and Jumin looked so miserable and unlike himself, like a kicked puppy. How can he say no to that?

They stopped in front of a door and she reached forward to open it wide so he could walk into the room. “This is yours and my brother’s bedroom. But don’t worry!” She added with a wave of her hands when she saw him choke on air. “I’m going to ask one of the maids to get the bedroom connected to this one ready for my brother. Both mother and Juwon thought you’d be a girlfriend… He didn’t give us a name. Or a relationship status for that matter.”

Zen breathed out in relief. Jumin might be clever enough to make him do things he doesn’t particularly want to do, but nothing in the world would make him share a bed with the bastard. He stepped in and looked around some more. The bed was very big and the many plush pillows adorning it made it look very inviting. He could go for another nap, one in a soft and comfortable bed…

“And what did he say?” He asked instead, not wanting to be rude to her since they _just_ got here.

“He simply stated he was bringing someone with him. But that’s Jumin, inconsiderate,” she huffed, watching Zen move around the clean bedroom. “Do you like it?”

Nodding, Zen turned to smile at her. “Thank you for being so accommodating. And I apologize for your brother’s inconsideration.”

Junghee giggled and blushed some more. Ha, even the great Jumin Han’s sister couldn’t resist his charm. She was _so cute_. Tall, slender, with very round cheeks and a pretty smile. Her and Jumin looked the most alike between the three. If Jumin were a bit more plump and less sharp edges, he’d look like her.

“Come on, let me show you around some more!”

The rest of the home was just as elegant as he imagined. The entire time she pointed out rooms to him, all Zen could think was that the house looked like the ones you find in real estate magazines or websites. It made him think back on the night he went out to drink with Jumin, he had been looking at apartments then. He hopes he doesn’t get lost in such huge home. Game room, sunroom, offices, gym, two kitchens, two living rooms, and many bedrooms. Each and one of the rooms worthy of an article cover. As if the private jet wasn’t enough to show the Hans were loaded, this twenty-two year old’s home was. Zen was twenty-four going on twenty-five and he didn’t have much to his name. In fact, he was getting a new apartment _only_ because it’s becoming more dangerous for his address to be public. Otherwise he would’ve stayed in his first apartment ever for the rest of his life.

“Where’s mother?” Jumin asked his sister when her and Zen walked through two glass doors back into the main room. Juwon was now lounging on the couch staring at his phone and ignoring everyone around him. What a brat, Zen thought.

Junghee shrugged and turned his attention back to Zen by holding on to his arm. “I think she went to the spa. Father will be here soon and we all know how it goes down when the two are under the same roof. Hyun, don’t be alarmed if they start insulting each other, it’s what they do.”

Right. He’ll keep that in mind. It’s not like he’s met Jumin’s father. All he ever sees about him is in the news, and it’s not the most pleasant stuff either.

“Junghee, stop being a brat and let go of him,” her older brother chided when he noticed the tight grip on Zen’s arm. “Where’s your fiance?”

The young girl narrowed her bright grey eyes at Jumin and huffed, “my fiance has a name, you would know it if you bothered to care more about someone other than yourself.”

“You would die waiting and disappointed,” Zen blurted out, not realizing what he was doing. It’s not that he wants to insult the other, but it was hard to stop when others realize what an irritating bastard the man was.

“Oh, burn!” The youngest Han hollered in surprise. “I like him already,” he smirked before going back to his phone. Possibly Tweeting about what just happened to his friends.

Zen couldn’t stop from blushing at the comment. Both his siblings seemed more pleasant than Jumin, and they also seemed to like him better already. He paid Jumin’s tight expression no mind and instead basked in the idea of gaining two more people to shit talk him with. This was going to be a great trip.

“His name is Charles,” she added when she noticed Zen was looking at Jumin instead of her.

“I’m going to go rest before mother gets back,” the oldest Han sibling shared to them, disinterested in anything his sister was talking about. Zen couldn’t help to think he was being rude on purpose, most likely because of the teasing he got from all of them.

His red eyes followed the other into the hall that leads to the bedrooms, conscience telling him to go apologize. Freeing himself from Junghee’s grip, Zen told them he needed to speak with their brother and he left without another word. Freed from the girl and walking alone, he wondered why he felt like apologizing. It’s not like him along with the rest of the RFA never tease Jumin. They do, _all the time_. He’s one of their favorite people to tease.

It’s because this is his family, his real family, Zen answered himself. He’s supposed to be here for the man, not for them.

His hand hovered over the doorknob to the bedroom he was shown as his. What would he even say. Jumin gives zero fucks about anything, really. It was pointless. On impulse, Zen gripped the cool, smooth metal and let himself in without knocking. Oh, how that bothers the other man. This was supposed to be his bedroom anyway, he’ll use that as his excuse.

Jumin was comfortably resting on the bed, writing something on his phone. An eyebrow perked when he looked over at him. “Came to make more of your unneeded comments?”

Zen bit his lips, keeping himself from grinning. It seems like he was mistaken, maybe he did get offended by his comment. “Sorry about that,” he shared sincerely, “it came out on it’s own.”

“How does something come out on it’s own. You chose to say it.”

Here they go. “Obviously I think so, but I genuinely didn’t mean to say it out loud. It just… came out.” And what was this anyway. Are they some pair of teenagers hurt by stupid comments? “What happened to you not having feelings and not caring about anything?”

The deadpan expression aimed at him made him laugh. Jumin should keep his shitty humor to himself and react to things said to him instead, because it’s hilarious. “What happened to you being nice and sweet,” he pushed back with just as much sarcasm.

It’s on.

“You’re the exception. When you stop being a trust fund jerk I’ll start being nice and sweet to you.”

Jumin locked eyes with him and sat up on the bed, setting his phone down next to him on the bed. “Am I supposed to think you’re doing this because you wanted a free trip out of the country?”

Bastard. “Well, no, but--”

“That’s what I thought.”

With a click of his tongue, Zen turned away and instead looked out the huge glass wall at the end of the room. “Fuck off,” he muttered, bothered over the fact that the other beat him on this round. He would’ve continued to be annoyed but when he realized the beautiful view before them as the sun was setting, he was distracted. It was beautiful. He can’t wait for it to be nighttime and see the stars as bright as they could be so high up on the hill.

“Why are you suddenly distracted by buildings?” Jumin wondered aloud. “It’s just the city. They all look the same from high up.”

“See, unlike your spoiled, pampered ass, I have never been outside of Korea. The only big city I know is Seoul. Not to mention, I don’t have a highrise penthouse either.” Besides, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with appreciating the view you have in front of you.

That quieted Jumin instantly, probably because the trust fund jerk was wondering _how_ can someone not travel out of the country every week. On their private jet, to go meet someone for a few hours before flying back. He gets that Jumin grew up in a completely different world but how can anyone remain so blinded and ignorant? It’s not hard for him to understand the older man is a martian, why can’t he do the same?

“I don’t know how you haven’t traveled out of Korea,” Jumin spoke from besides him, startling Zen in the process. When he turned to look at the older man, he noticed the soft smile on his lips. What an absolute bastard, he thought with a grin.

“I’m starting to think you fake being dumb just to mess with everyone.”

A soft snort came from the sophisticated man. “I’m very smart and highly educated, don’t forget that.”

Sure, but that doesn’t stop him from coming off like a moron from time to time. It must be part of his shitty humor, Zen muses as he looks away from him to stare some more at the beautiful city.

“So everyone says,” he breathes out with a smile.

It was surprising how the two of them could stand there in comfortable silence without arguing with each other occasionally. Zen was happy about it. Teasing Jumin and insulting him can be fun, but sometimes he wants to relax and not think of witty comebacks to argue back.

“Do you mind if I nap while you nap?” He randomly asked after a moment of thought. Tiredness still clung to his eyes and he wanted to be well rested before meeting Jumin’s mom. She’s one of the two people he needs to upset and he can’t do that unless he looks his best. Even sleep deprived Zen manages to look amazing, but that’s not enough for Jumin Han’s parents, he can already feel it.

Blinking in confusion, Jumin eyed Zen rather suspiciously before glancing over at the bed with curiosity. The guy must have serious trust issues if he thinks Zen out of all people would try to murder him in his sleep or something. Nothing he’s ever done warranted such reaction from him. Not even the insults they throw around at each other. If he were honest, he’d say it made him feel a bit offended. He’s loyal as hell, Jumin can fuck right off.

“Fine, I’ll go ask your sister--”

“That’s fine,” Jumin accepted reluctantly, interrupting Zen mid sentence. “I guess it’s big enough for both of us, and my bedroom will be ready by night time.”

That was strange, but also not uncommon. Jumin had the habit of thinking the only thing that matters is whatever comes out of his mouth. Luckily for his rude self, Zen was used to it by now.

“Whatever dude,” he chuckled out, finding the whole exchange amusing. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my hands to myself,” he joked sarcastically. There was nothing in Jumin that Zen would ever want in any way, shape, or form. Starting with his shitty personality, and ending with his nonathletic body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, they make my day! I appreciate them!


	3. When Zen thinks the lack of shock should've been a clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen finally meets ex Mrs. Han, and it isn’t the big shock he expected. But if there's something he definitely should've expected, was that Jumin wouldn't let him down. Not for one moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got juicier lol

The lack of morning light was what disrupted his slumber, pushing his mind out of the comfortable warmth of being enveloped by dreams. Jumin felt his heart jump at the lack of soft, furry creature brushing against his face earnestly. His hand shot out to the space next to him on the bed only to suddenly remember that he was in California, and that Elizabeth was safely under Yoosung’s care back in Korea. He sighed in relief. Generally Jumin doesn’t nap. He holds a very meticulous schedule, but when his schedule shifts around it throws him off his axis. He can’t wait to go back home and continue living the way he always has. By the minute. He closed his hands into fists and was about to get up when he realized something.

There was something soft and silky under his fingers, something that wasn’t his gorgeous cat and that belonged to Zen. He grasped the ponytail gently and let his fingers feel the silver hair, finding the different texture fascinating. Unlike Jumin’s thick and heavy strands, Zen’s were so light and thin, he had a lot of hair.

He’s always wondered about Zen’s hair. It was so long and shiny, how did he keep it looking so flawless all the time? Jumin let his eyes run down the younger man’s form as he slept curled and facing away from him. His one theory consisted of Zen braiding his hair to go to bed, but right now his hair was freely laying on the bed along with him. Frowning, Jumin let go of the long strands at the same time the door to the bedroom was cracked open.

“Oh, you’re up!”

Jumin raised a finger to his lips indicating his sister to tone it down. In mere moments he was off the bed and closing the door behind him, ready to scold his younger sibling. “Junghee, you can’t just open people’s bedroom door. You have to learn to knock.”

“It’s my house, I can do whatever I want,” she taunted him mischievously before she grabbed his arm and pulled him the same way she did with Zen earlier.

“Then I guess me and my guest will stay at a hotel--”

“No! I’ll knock next time, I’m sorry.” The grumble after the apology didn’t make it more believable, but at least he knows she likes Zen enough to make them stay here. How the younger man charms everyone is a mystery to him. Zen’s just… Zen. Jumin doesn’t see it.

“Mother is finally here, she called for you.”

The two arrived in the kitchen like a whirlwind. No matter her age, Junghee never seems to lose the childishness she’s always been known for. It used to be cute back when she was much younger, but now all it does is drain him of the little energy he has.

“Darling, how was your brief sleep? That’s so unlike you.” There she was. Standing with her back to him, long, black hair held elegantly in a messy bun. Most of his memories of her were just like this, her back to him. Jumin found it much easier to resent her than his father, he’s come to realize, and it’s most likely because of that detail. “I heard a _friend_ came with you?”

“You guys are so cute,” Junghee gushed innocently then shut her mouth when Jumin gave her a cold glance.

“Yes, his name is Hyun Ryu. Should I ask whether that’s going to be a problem?”

His mother took a deep breath and finally turned around to greet her oldest son as she should, face to face. It was easy to tell that the smile on her face was forced, but that’s probably because she hasn’t seen Zen. The second her eyes take him in he believes she’ll be as enchanted as his sister.

“Of course there’s no problem. Your father is already ruining the wedding with his tasteless antics, one more isn’t going to make a difference,” she lamented without exerting the smallest effort to make it sound less insulting. His father isn’t here yet and she’s already letting it get to her. This is going to be a _disaster_.

“Mother, you haven’t even met Hy--”

Jumin stopped his sister from finishing that with his hand in the air. Zen doesn’t need someone to defend him, he’ll do it all on his own when he finally meets her. “Must I remind you that this is Junghee’s wedding? Your daughter, and certainly the rest of the party guests don’t need a spectacle. Let’s keep it under control, mother.”

“Hm, why don’t you tell that to Mr. Chairman Han? You’re a bit late with your sound advice.”

Junghee moved to stand between them, hands on her hips and a frown on her young face. “Will both of you quit it? All I ask is for everyone to get along for two weeks. _Two weeks_ out of years of not seeing each other. I’m going to be so embarrassed if Charles sees you all act this way!”

Despite the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach Jumin decided to drop it for his sister’s sake. He’s the one that constantly tells the RFA to keep their emotions under wraps, this is a perfect opportunity for him to practice what he preaches.

“Hello,” a featherly, warm voice interrupted the dirty look his mother was giving him. “You must be Jumin’s mother. I’m Hyun Ryu,” the man approached them and introduced himself the way Jumin had done for him, which pleased him greatly. “Nice to meet you.” The young actor looked fresh and energetic, as if he didn’t nap the entire afternoon after flying for over ten hours.

It was worth a video to watch his mother’s expression evolve from confused to shocked the second she locked eyes with Zen, too bad he had no time to even attempt to pull his phone out. It was so predictable. The guy’s looks were otherworldly. According to everyone else, that is.

“Gaeul Woon,” she stuttered gracelessly and the serious mask crumbled little by little. She did gather herself and shook his hand, but her eyes wouldn’t stop staring at Zen. “I--My, you’re a very handsome young man.” She was definitely not expecting it.

Zen laughed breathily. All hell broke loose.

Both ladies in the kitchen flocked to him in an instant. Jumin barely missing his sister who was more than ready to push him aside.

“I get told that often, Mrs. Woon,” Zen said smoothly, glancing behind them to meet Jumin’s eyes smugly. He can feel as smug as he wants. Jumin was always steps ahead of him and had already expected it to happen. People can be rather predictable if you know them long enough.

His mother grabbed a hold of his arm and walked him further into the kitchen to let him sit on one of the stools by the island. “Please, call me Gaeul. Wow, your arms are so _big_ and _hard_ , do you workout often?”

It was entertaining to watch Zen struggle between the two women. Now Jumin was the one who felt smug, not moving a finger to give him a hand. Their hands were rubbing the younger man’s arms up and down while he tried not to flinch away from them, that was more than enough to wear down the young artist and teach him a lesson.

“Ah, yes, I workout a lot.” For someone who boasts about being incredibly handsome and wanted, Zen doesn’t seem to like the attention as much as he lets on. He wonders why that is.

“Now tell me Zen, are you Jumin’s friend or are you his _friend_?”

“ _Mother!_ ” Junghee’s cheeks turned a pretty bright red. “How can you ask something like that!”

This was his chance, Jumin thought as he watched them with calculative eyes. His mother didn’t seem enthusiastic when she found out he invited a guy to come along with him. Bothering her enough to satisfy his need for revenge was the reason this was all happening. Zen would probably think he was scheming selfishly but this was his only chance. This wouldn’t affect his sister in any way, and to be frank it’s so ridiculous it’s part of many plots in movies.

You must learn to change flexibly according to situations in order to be successful in business. In this case, revenge. He will have to make the artist understand that sometimes curveballs are thrown in order to get the upper hand.

“Yes,” Jumin’s assertive tone made everyone go quiet and turn to look at him in question. “Hyun is my boyfriend.”

Zen’s red eyes widened, his mouth falling open in shock. “Wha--Jumin, what are you doing!?”

“It’s okay,” his mother chimed in, straightening her back and brushing her bangs away from her face, “in this home we don’t judge anyone for something like that.”

The younger man got off the stool and looked like he was about to blow a vein. “ _A word_ ,” he practically demanded through grit teeth. He was flustered, Jumin could easily tell.

Junghee pulled their mother away with a shy smile, and Zen took the opportunity to lead him to the hall. His always pale cheeks were red, and his frown was the deepest Jumin has ever seen.

“What _the fuck_ Jumin,” he whispered harshly, looking out to see no one around them. Even though he was more than upset, he was acting appropriately. Zen had a habit of being too emotional but that never deterred him from being courteous, polite. It was almost _dear_. That is if he could do the same in the chatrooms. “This is a joke, right? You’re going to tell them you were joking?”

While that would be ideal for Zen, it isn’t for Jumin. There’s never been a time where he’s ever done something like this before. This was in fact the only time he’s ever schemed in any way to get back at someone, especially his own family. Jumin loves them all no matter how infuriating they were, how uncaring, crass, and illogical. He never saw himself acting on his emotions this way, ever. But thanks to the younger man he’s in the middle of something he’s already started, and if there’s one thing Jumin certainly won’t do, is leave something unfinished.

“Understand that I saw my opportunity and I took it. They’re quite taken by you--”

“ _Jumin_ , what are you even talking about. This can’t be a thing! You have to go there and tell them you were joking. I--I don’t--” Zen choked as he anxiously thought of what to say next. His hands were gripping his own hips so tightly Jumin could see how white the tips of his fingers were. “Did you even think about what this could mean to me?”

Huh?

“I’m not following,” he admitted, curious as to what that’s supposed to mean. Apparently the wrong thing to say because Zen grunted in shock and threw his arms up in the air in frustration.

“What about my career!? There will be pictures, people will talk and speculate!” That was said louder than normal, making the actor turn away to get a hold of himself. “Did you think of that, Jumin? Did you think of my career, my reputation if it gets out that I’m Next-in-line-Chief, Jumin Han’s _boyfriend_!?”

His gaze fell to the floor. “I can easily fix that.”

Zen whipped his head around in utter disbelief. “ _That wasn’t the question_!” His attempt at keeping the conversation to a low tone was perishing with every word Jumin said. He was unsure if he should even continue answering Zen.

He had absolutely no reason to lie. “No, I didn’t.”

The younger man’s arms slackened by his sides. A pang of discontent resounded in him as he was met with those disappointed red eyes once more. Zen’s head bobbed as he nodded to an silent thought. “Of course,” he hissed.

They stood facing each other in silence. Zen not storming off gave him a chance to think of some basic rules, they needed some sort of plan to be able to execute this perfectly. “Just do what I tell you to do, that’s why you’re here. I think this is already believable,” he began expertly, resting a hand in his pocket. “Let’s stay in separate bedrooms, they’ll assume it’s because of m--”

“Wow, you never stop being a controlling asshole, do you?” Zen’s eyes widened as a smile spread across his face. “I can play the role of Jumin Han’s lover, that’s not an issue. I am an actor after all. But know one thing, trust fund kid,” a finger was pushed against Jumin’s chest and his eyes briefly lowered to it before moving up to meet Zen’s, “I’m not your damn cat and I won’t let you order me around. I’ll do what I have to do but it’ll be on my own terms.”

While inconvenient and troublesome, Jumin _could_ work with those terms. Except the one where he calls his beautiful, precious Elizabeth a ‘damn cat’.

“Have some respect for Elizabeth. You’re the face of her line of food, remember?”

 

~

 

Furious was an understatement. Zen was a volcano already in the midst of the worst eruption of it’s time. He wishes he could escape this suffocating dinner and run until he can’t stand anymore, he _should_ . Jumin deserves being deserted after doing what he thought was a fantastic idea. It was a fucking _fantastically_ terrible idea, Zen would’ve gladly spat at him if he had the decency to ask for his opinion before automatically reaching for his horrid habit of forcing things on others. He’s definitely venting to Jaehee later that night, it’s not like he’ll be sleeping with the long nap he took and this whole thing putting him on edge.

“So tell me Hyun, how did you two meet?” Gaeul asked him as maids moved around placing their dishes in front of them. He can’t imagine eating like he is in a restaurant every single day. “I think it would’ve been lovely to hear about you _before_ this trip.”

“Ha!” Junghee stifled a laugh. “Mother, brother doesn’t even know my fiance’s name,” she muttered loud enough for Jumin to hear her. Her jabs at Jumin confuse him. Jumin was very clear that his siblings aren’t the problem, so why does it sound like they believe they are regardless of what the older Han sibling thinks?

Turns out only the four of them were able to have dinner together that night. Juwon disappeared sometime in the middle of the evening, and Jumin’s dad never showed up. Something that visibly upset Jumin, Zen has never seen him frown this much.

Jumin cleared his throat after taking a sip of his water. “We met through a friend--”

“You should hear the whole story,” Zen chimed in as his hand shot out to grab onto Jumin’s arm, making the older man flinch at the unexpected touch. “Our friend kept telling me there was someone she wanted me to meet. Meet Jumin, meet him, she’d insist every time we talked. Even her fiance, another mutual friend of ours, kept insisting. So I said, why not!”

“That’s--”

“Babe!” Junghee yipped at the term of endearment. “Let me finish. Anyway, we finally set up a place to meet and…”

Both Gaeul and Junghee were leaning forward and waiting for him to continue. It was cute how their cold exterior disappeared as soon as they each saw him for the first time. If only the idiot next to him had the same reaction. “Well? Don’t leave us waiting!” Jumin’s young sister urged.

“I thought, _no_. He just wasn’t attractive enough for me.” Zen almost jumped when he felt a hand grip his thigh rather painfully. It comes to his understanding that despite never actually working out, Jumin had very strong hands. From what, holding pens!?

“What a funny joke,” the other said smoothly. His mom and sister began to laugh, effectively disrupting Zen’s insulting story.

“Haa, anyway, Jumin here on the other hand couldn’t handle my unbelievable good looks, remember Jumin?” Zen let go of his arm to grab the hand on his thigh and pull it away. “You wouldn’t stop offering me modeling opportunities, and then sponsor opportunities, and then education opportunities. He was _so cute_. That’s what got my heart, his eagerness to do something nice for me even though he had no idea who I was.”

Both his mom and sister looked utterly confused with his statement and Zen paused his acting to wonder why. True, _nice_ isn’t a word one would use to describe Jumin Han, but he can be a nice person.

Junghee’s expression softened after a moment. “That’s… actually very romantic. Him trying to be nice.”

What. Dammit, how on earth is any of that romantic? He not only spoke mostly the truth, it also sounds incredibly weird. Being nice is _basic manners_ , not something to be proud of or something that’s particularly spectacular.

“Cute is such a strange word to use when you talk about my son, but I suppose you, seeing him in a different way, would. And what exactly do you do, Hyun?”

They took the bits of the story that mattered the least and ran with them, making it seem like him and Jumin’s encounter was some sort of romance novel plot. It’s still one of the weirdest ways he’s ever met someone new. Jumin sure knows how to make an impression.

“He’s a musical actor,” Jumin answered without missing a beat as he ate his lobster. “And occasionally a model for the company.”

Both the ladies on the table turned to Zen. Junghee eyes him curiously, furrowing her brows in thought. “I’ve never heard of you…”

“Oh, that’s because I’m not well known or anything like that,” he explained with a slight hint of uneasiness. He knows Jumin is doing this for revenge, but will be be callous enough to let Zen be made fun of? Would he let him suffer insults or scrutiny for the sake of getting back at his parents? Zen’s eyes darted to Jumin with apprehension. “I’m not interested in fame or money.”

The contrasting reactions made his stomach flop in a funny way. Gaeul looked suspicious while Junghee looked surprised. At that moment Jumin decided to pause his eating so he could look at his mom directly in the eyes and say, “he doesn’t need fame when he has all my money and resources available to him whenever he wants them.” Which he had to admit was a clever tactic as much as it was humiliating. Chairman Han had a habit of letting his girlfriends run around with his credit cards and his possessions, now it seems he could be just like that.

Naturally that response irritated his mom who openly glared at Jumin and muttered, “you’ve been doing so well, darling. Hopefully you’re not as foolish as your father and you’ll know when to have a limit.”

“Did you come here for acting school, Hyun?” The young Han asked in an attempt to change the subject, to which Zen followed through with it and shook his head. “Oh, did you study in Europe then?”

“I’ve never been to acting school,” he finally ended the questions. It’s annoying when people assume you have to go to school to know how to do things. He’s a natural.

Gaeul seemed impressed. “I’d love to watch some of your work. Here we’re surrounded by an unimaginable amount of talent and it’d be fun to compare.” Of course they are, this is California.

Zen can’t deny it would’ve been fun to be able to travel here and take acting classes, but unfortunately that wasn’t an option for him. He was too busy juggling his multiple jobs just so he could try and act in small theaters.

“I must admit, for someone who has no higher education you do have a talent that can be confused with quality schooling.”

His face turned scarlet at the compliment. This is the first time he hears Jumin comment on his skills in a positive way. He’s mentioned before that he doesn’t understand why Jaehee is obsessed with him and his movies, but it’s obvious Zen’s talented. Jumin would never waste his company’s resources on someone who doesn’t have what it takes to make him money. It was nice to hear the pompous jerk say it to his face.

“What do you mean you have no higher education?”

Jumin took charge once again and answered before Zen could even open his mouth. “He never finished high school, actually.” His heart jumped when that very private part of his life was left out in the open for everyone to see. It wasn’t his mom or sister’s business what he did as a teenager, and it was such a low blow for Jumin to talk about it without asking him first.

“What!? How can someone not finish high school?”

Of course Jumin decided to shrug off this question, leaving Zen to the sharks. How typical. How _fucking_ typical. He barely got a few bites out of the food in his plate and he’s already lost his appetite. This was not the path he thought the conversation would take.

“It’s--I didn’t--” Zen has never been ashamed of his past. As a child he did what he thought was best and ran away from home when everyone in his family turned their backs on him. They haven’t reached out to him for God’s sake! He had to swallow his pride and do that himself because the RFA, especially Jumin kept pressuring him into doing it. But that doesn’t mean he has to explain himself to others, it wasn’t for them to understand. The fact that this jerk sitting next to him practically threw him under the bus to make him look like the worst candidate for his love really _hurt_.

Junghee caught up to his stuttering and quickly raised her glass of wine in the air. “I, for one, don’t care about that as long as you and my brother are happy. A toast.”

“I think we should toast for you and your special day coming up,” he recovered fast enough to be nice to her. Zen thought the worst of Jumin’s family on the way here, but it turns out they all seem nicer than Jumin himself. At least Junghee does. He appreciates that.

The plan that Jumin came up with was bound to place him in uncomfortable situations, of that Zen is aware. But perhaps the most intimidating part of it all was that he didn’t expect for Jumin to purposely shove him into them, letting him be scrutinized and judged by his mom. He could’ve made up any story, anything.

“You haven’t touched your meal,” Gaeul commented towards the end before they all retired to bed. “Are you not feeling well?”

“No, I’m just... not used to this kind of food, being the commoner that I am.” His sarcasm could be labeled as immature, but he didn’t care. His feelings were hurt, yes. Unlike iceprince himself, Zen actually feels things.

The older woman didn’t seem to catch on to it or rather she chose to ignore it. Instead she patted the corners of her mouth gently with the cloth napkin and said, “make sure you let the chef know if there’s anything specific you’d like to have.”

It was crazy how the woman can be so blatant with her displeasure of his life choices, but at the same time turn around and be accommodating to his wims.

No, Zen takes that back. It’s not crazy. Jumin is the _exact same way_.

When two maids came out to get their dishes, Zen took that moment to excuse himself. He honestly had no desire to sit around and be asked about his past by complete strangers. It’s not like they’ll be seeing each other again after this wedding. Fuck that.

“Are you okay?” Jumin reached for his arm and asked when he was getting up to leave.

“Yeah.”

After blowing off the concern, Zen pulled out his phone and messaged Jaehee to see if she was available. Once in the bedroom he let himself sink on the soft bed and sighed. It’s been a long day despite being asleep most of it.

 **Jaehee Kang** : I’m getting the cafe ready to open so I can’t text, but I have time for a call :)

“Zen,” Jaehee answered right away. He could picture a smile on her face and that made him want to smile too. “It’s late there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we just finished dinner…” Ah, maybe this was a mistake. He didn’t want the rest of the RFA to know the situation. “But as late as it is, I’m already sick of trust fund kid.”

“Oh, figures. As much as the two of you seem to get along lately, it’s impossible to deny the tension. Has he been talking about cats?”

His eyebrows shot up at the realization. “No, in fact, his furball was mentioned once and by me. Now _that_ is something to be ashamed of.” Which has to be some sort of record now that he thinks about it.

“What do you mean? Did something happen?” Zen cringed at that. He’s so transparent.

Groaning, he fell back on the bed and stared up at the vaulted ceilings. “They’re all so snobby. Well, except for his sister. She’s a very sweet girl. And very cute too. It’d be so different if Jumin was like her.”

“I’ve never met any of them, however I know Chairman Han and Mr. Han so I can imagine. It’s clear they’re from a whole other world. Being around Mr. Han as long as I did, it wasn’t easy for me to forget. You, on the other hand, barely spend any time with him outside of business.”

“I don’t think there’s a difference between Jumin being in his office and outside of it.” The older man worked the entirety of the flight to America. At least as far as Zen knows but, let’s be real, there’s no way he did anything else other than maybe talk to the RFA. “All he ever does is boss everyone around and ruin my mood. I wish I hadn’t come along.”

“I read that on the chatroom! I’m sorry you’re having a bad time.” Jaehee made a sound with the back of her throat. “To be honest, I don’t understand why you agreed to go. You two were going to fight at some point.”

“Because I’m too nice Jaehee, I’m _too nice_.” And apparently that warrants karma to come bite him in the ass, Zen thought darkly. They do say no good deed goes unpunished.

The older woman laughed at that, cheering him up a bit. Despite it being to his chagrin, he relishes on the fact that he can make his friends laugh. This call is already the best idea he’s had all day. “You _are_ a very nice person. Hard working, honest, kind, caring, must I go on?”

His face got so hot he brought up his hands to cover it. His phone falling on the bed next to his ear where he could still hear and talk to her. “God, Jaehee! Are you trying to embarrass me?”

“Hey,” she chuckled, “maybe Mr. Han can learn a thing or two from you. Make sure you rub off on him.”

“Ugh, stop calling the asshole Mr. Han. You don’t work for him anymore, and he officially calls you by your first name.”

Jaehee was silent for a moment. “You know, despite not longer working under him, I still have the impulse to call him Mr. Han. He has a very imposing disposition, it’s hard for me to remember that it’s no longer necessary for me to speak in such honorifics.”

“Years ago he bitched at me when I stopped using honorifics, the weirdo probably gets a kick out of it.”

“Zen! Don’t say such things!”

Yeah, okay. The guy wasn’t here to defend himself, so Zen dropped it. “Thanks for talking to me. Your voice cheered me up!” He smiled from under his hands. Talking to his friends was always such a fantastic way to unload stress. He has yet to figure out whether this house had a gym or if there was a trail in the property he could run.

“... Anytime.” There was some background sound on the other side of the phone, and after some mumbling, Jaehee coughed and came back to the phone. “I have to leave now, future Mrs. Choi is here and is ready to start work,” she joked about their beautiful princess who is more than ready to marry Saeyoung and make him the happiest guy in the world. The lucky bastard.

“Good luck,” Jaehee said before hanging up.

Zen removed his hands from his face and sighed.

“Are you and Jaehee dating?”

His entire body jumped when Jumin’s voice filled the silence. “Oh my God, Jumin!” Zen sat up in a swift motion and turned to glare at the older man. He was standing by the door, leaning on the wall like a creeper. “How long have you been standing there? I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Are you or are you not?”

The man was not going to drop it, Zen considered saying yes just to see what his reaction would be. Jumin has expressed his dislike of the idea of Jaehee dating him, as if his opinion had any value. Who cares who he’s dating! It’s none of his damn business. “No, and even if I were it wouldn’t be of your concern.”

Jumin ignored his comment and instead he walked past the bed towards the dresser, pulling on his tie to loosen it. “You left abruptly, I was worried something happened.”

“Oh, something definitely happened,” Zen pushed himself off the bed and stomped his way to Jumin. He grabbed his shoulder and turned him around with the intention to yell his face. “You made me your pretend boyfriend without asking me about it first!”

“Is this not what you demanded of me?” Jumin grabbed the hand that was still resting on his shoulder and gently brought it down. When he didn’t get a reply from Zen because what he asked didn’t make _any_ sense, he continued. “You insulted me when I told you I changed my mind about the plan. Taking your feelings into consideration I decided to go on with it, and when I saw the perfect opportunity I took it. Is anything I do ever going to please you?”

Zen pulled his hand from Jumin’s and turned away to hide the embarrassment that was born out of the last comment. The truth of the matter is, he egged Jumin into continuing this whole thing. It’d be safe to say he brought this upon himself, sure. That doesn’t mean the older man couldn’t talk to him about it first. _That_ is the problem, he doesn’t consider anything other than what he thinks is right or not. That’s how Zen feels whenever a situation involves the two of them.

“And what was that bullshit you pulled at the dinner table?” He asked instead. Where’s his excuse about that?

Jumin exhaled loudly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. _You_ were the one who tried to purposely embarrass me in front of my family. _That_ was not the plan.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. My past,” his eyes shone with fury. “It _isn’t_ shameful to do what I have done, Jumin. I worked very hard to survive on my own without anyone’s help! I can’t believe you sat there and used that against me for your own fucking pleasure.”

“Zen,” Jumin spoke calmly as his cool, grey eyes searched for his, “I didn’t say any of that to make you look bad. I don’t think it’s shameful either. I’d say it’s admirable. Not many can say they’re diligent enough to do everything they can at a very young age, and at the end get what they want.” He diverted his eyes in deep thought. “Which, in my opinion, is not a whole lot. You could’ve accepted many opportunities early on and ricocheted your career into stardom much earlier--”

He was almost at a loss of words. “Wait, wait. You find me admirable?”

“Is that what upset you?” There was no sign of mockery in his soft, deep tone. It confused him but that didn’t mean he was off the hook so easily. The bastard deserves worse for being so inconsiderate and self-centered.

“Yeah, that upset me a lot,” he blurted honestly. The way Jumin wasn’t holding his facade as much made him want to drop his own. Is this a side effect of being around the trust fund kid for this long? “Does your mom suspect anything?” Zen wondered, working to distract himself from the previous thought.

“She asked why our relationship hadn’t come up before… I explained you were shy about the whole thing due to you being someone in the spotlight.”

“ _Really_ !” Zen choked and felt like he was up to his last straw with the older man. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he counted to ten and dropped the whole subject. _Let it go_ , he told himself. “Fine. It’s fine. The damage’s been done.”

“You’re always so dramatic and emotional,” the older man criticized through his teeth. “It’s not that big of a deal. Nothing will happen, and even if something does happen I promise I’ll fix it.”

“Pft,” he tried to cover his laugh with his hand but to no avail. “Trust fund kid promises, huh?”

Jumin Han is so full of himself. He earnestly believes that money can fix everything, and that whatever he draws on is never serious enough to be taken into consideration. That will end tonight. Zen isn’t letting him get away with it. He’s cranky, he’s _still_ tired, and he feels a subtle criticism coming from his mom. The last one is not that important, but he has to live under the same roof as the woman and that isn’t as easy as it sounds. To be uncomfortable all the time, to feel gazes on him anytime he does something unfitting of their flashy and fancy world. Zen can deal with it. He will. But if he has to suffer, Jumin will suffer too.

“Deal,” he agreed with a dashing smile. Jumin watched him unguarded as he began to walk towards the young director. In a spur of the moment, Zen let his hand come up to brush some of the fashionably, messy dark hair aside hoping it would irritate the man. “Please take good care of my career and the reputation I have with my fans. It might not be much to you, but it is to me. Goodnight, _babe_.”

An hour later when Zen was showered and comfortably resting between the soft, fluffy sheets and Jumin was gone, he pulled his phone out and decided to talk to _one_ person.

ZEN  :  
Please don’t tell anyone… I beg you not to tell anyone, not even Saeyoung  
but… ahhh I don’t even know how to say it. Seeing it written makes me feel weird.

MC  :  
You’re worrying me Zen! Did something happen?

ZEN  :  
I’m Jumin Han’s pretend boyfriend…

MC  :  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????  
WHAT, YOURE JUMINS BOYFRIEND??????

ZEN  :  
PRETEND, the keyword is _pretend_ babe!!! It’s a long long story, but the jerk was the one who came up with the stupid idea and now I’m stuck here for two weeks pretending to be all over his grill.  
UGHHH

MC  :  
This is legit straight out of a movie plot hahahahahaahha

ZEN  :  
;;; don’t laugh at me, I’m having a hard time with this =_=;;;

MC  :  
Awww, Zen! Make the best of it.  
OH! Make him give you lots of money hehe

Zen had to pull the phone back and frown at the last text.

ZEN  :  
Am I talking to Saeyoung or…

MC  :  
No, it’s me. Sorry, he rubs off on me. But seriously!!! Lots of people would kill to be Jumin’s girlfriend, and probably boyfriend.

ZEN  :  
They’re more than welcome to take my place ;;  
can I vent to you whenever he pisses me off?

MC  :  
Of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE vent to me ;))

ZEN  :  
Sometimes I think you’re worse than Seven……….

MC  :  
I’m so sad I can’t tell him this. He would’ve gotten a kick out of it!

ZEN  :  
To see me suffer??

MC  :  
To see you and Jumin be boyfriends! He has this very strange fixation with you two…  
not that I’m one to talk…… i can kindaa see why…. ///

ZEN  :  
what is that even supposed to mean!?  
I’ve never made a pass at the asshole! I don’t even _like_ him as a normal human being!

MC  :  
Yeah, maybe you haven’t but what about him? remember how you told me he offered a lot of things to you when you first met?

ZEN  :  
And?? He did it because V and Rika asked him to

MC  :  
YEAH SURE, and how about him constantly trying to please you somehow??  
and how he’s always worried about your success?  
how he always teases you?????  
let’s not forget how worried he was that one time years ago the stalker girl came into your home without you knowing and he immediately sent you bodyguards???

ZEN  :  
Heeey who told you about that one!

MC  :  
Seven, duh. But let me go on  
how about how hurt he gets when you reject his help??  
how he always knows how to cheer you up, no matter the situation  
how willing he is to let anything go as soon as you apologize  
oh!! There was this time he thanked me privately for helping you think positively during the whole Echo Girl bs! I have screenshots of that conversation if you want to see them! he was so worried during that time, it was kind of cute  
ohhohohoho and how he gets all serious when anyone mentions you together with someone else

ZEN  :  
OKAY enough, i get it. It’s not really what you think though, he’s a manipulative asshole and all he wants is to be controlling.  
This is his way of doing that! Look at me!!!!! He somehow manipulated me to come here, and now to go along with the crazy plan ;;;;

MC  :  
Don’t fret my lovely Zen! Think of it as a learning experience… learn about who Jumin is. make the best of it

ZEN  :  
I’m not following, but i suppose there isn’t much i can do about it. you’re right, i should just make the best of it.  
If only the bastard wasn’t so hard to deal with

MC  :  
mmmm, Jumin is a very simple man despite it all, don’t overthink it.  
aah my break is over, i have to go back to the kitchen and keep baking, but I can’t wait to talk to you some more!!  
KEEP ME POSTED  <<<

ZEN  :  
;;;; what’s with the enthusiasm geez!  
Have a nice day at work, say hi to Jaehee for me.

Sighing in frustration, Zen turned off the lamp by his bed and snuggled down on the covers. No matter what else Momo wants to tell him, he will never believe Jumin thinks of him as anything more than his entertainment. They’re friends, but the guy only plays around with his emotions for his own pleasure, nothing more. If only they did get along as good as everyone seems to think they do or they can.

The room was starting to disappear from his mind as he closed his eyes and let himself relax against the pillow, until his phone’s screen lit up to disrupt his peace.

“I thought her break was over,” he muttered before reaching out to grab it and check what was going on. She could have some more advice, or she could have some more delusions. When he read the message, his heart jumped to his throat and any tiredness he had harvested was completely gone. “I swear to fucking… _Ugh_!”

707  :  
Why would you even try to hide anything from me… God7 is all knowing!!! B)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC's name will be Momo. This is unbetaed, as most of you already probably guessed, I apologize! 
> 
> Fun Fact: I have hundreds of screenshots of conversations in the game that are what fuels this story haha, most of the facts being thrown are real and straight from the game. Interpretation is up to us so... here's mine!
> 
> Thank you so much for the likes and comments. They truly make my day and cheer me into continuing the story! I love knowing what you think of it!


	4. When Zen witnesses something he never thought he would

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen meets Chairman Han, and something wonderfully weird happens later that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in the hospital and filled up with meds, so I apologize for any weird wording. I promise next chapter won't be written in the middle of an injury!

DAY 2

* * *

 

Jumin was abruptly woken up by an ear-splitting yell echoing throughout the house. His heart pounded against his ribcage as remnants of a horrid dream escaped through the cracks of consciousness. His father’s previous ex-wife made up the leading role, memories brought up by the unwanted arrival of his current girlfriend. Instead of getting up and getting ready for the day as he usually does, he allowed himself a moment of peace by laying there in silence, thinking of nothing, letting his mind be blank if only to appease the inevitable. Nothing could ever prepare him for the craziness that was about to cause him unmeasurable amount of anxiety.

It would be easy to argue that for most of his life Jumin has had to deal with the stressing relationship his parents have, and manage to come out alive. The last time they spent a holiday together as a family was before his mother left with his siblings, and that was back when Jumin was still five years old. He learned long ago that the best way to keep things as calm as possible was to have his sister come between them and tell them to quit it. But this time she isn’t a toddler that barely knows how to say ‘mama’ or ‘papa’. It’s been over two decades and he no longer has knowledge on how the dynamic between all of them will develop.

Talking to Junghee about how they can work as a team could be a good nudge towards the right direction. She knows their mother the best while he knows their father the best. The only remaining concern is Zen and how this could affect him. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that this wasn’t the most thought out idea, not that it mattered. Both him and the actor knew this from the moment they argued about it on their flight here.

Jumin smiled before turning over to grab his phone. Luck was on his side when the conversation came up _during_ the flight and not before.

Despite the constant venom that spills from Zen’s lips aimed at him, Jumin finds his presence comforting in the midst of, frankly, a bunch of strangers. Him and the younger man might not spend much time together aside from the parties and the occasional get together, but they do spend a good amount of time talking in the chatrooms. He’s gotten to know Jumin (along with the rest of their RFA family) in ways that no one else has, giving him an advantage over his own real family. A maddening thought if he ever had one.

There were messages from Yoosung, a bunch of random pictures of his precious little princess being as cute as always, and that made him smile even more. He can’t wait to be back with her in his penthouse instead of this home in a country that wasn’t his. He loves his sister, he loves _all_ his family members, but sometimes… Sometimes he wonders if maybe family _isn’t_ everything. The secure feeling his job, his beloved pet, his RFA family brought were all proof that worked against the uneasiness he feels in his sister’s home. Her wedding. His disappearing younger brother. Having both their parents living under the same roof.

Another shout echoed, encouraging him to get ready and go face hell. He took his sweet time picking one of the many pictures to put it as his phone background since to his annoyance Yoosung was able to picture her better than him. It was time to stop lazing around anyway. It was nine in the morning, the latest he’s woken up in a _long_ time, and he has yet to hear from Zen, essentially making him more anxious. One thing he never truly went into deep thought about was his father’s reaction to the news. Jumin stayed with him after the divorce for a reason. He was the eldest son. The one to carry the Han legacy, something he never paid much attention to until his engagement to Sarah Choi happened. A logical assumption would be that he’s expected to have children in the future, another thing he never gave second thought. Jumin isn’t interested in marriage or children. He’s only interested in carrying the Han legacy on his own two shoulders.

Someone like him is never going to find a life partner that doesn’t have some sort of ulterior motive, he _knows_ this and thus has never desired a deeper connection nor to fake it until he makes it. Ever since he developed all he’s ever had is women throw themselves at him because of his money and status. That’s it. In fact, the only people who have never given importance to his money or status are Seven and Zen, both falling into their own personal ways of not giving a fuck. Seven’s job made him deal with different kinds of people of high status, the young hacker never crossed any lines out of courtesy but talks to him as he talks to any of their other friends. Zen on the other hand doesn’t give two fucks how much money he has or how high his social status is, from the moment they met to last night. The younger man calls him names, treats him like an idiot, makes fun of him, laughs at his misfortunes, and doesn’t take him seriously.

As irritating as it was, Jumin welcomed it most of the time. It was a breath of fresh air. Something he never thought he’d appreciate in the very deep, dark parts of his mind. Everyone kisses his ass because of his name and his money, no one ever dares to talk back to him. As a child and as an adult Jumin has been treated the same by everyone, except for the musical actor Hyun Ryu.

Granted, the younger man explained that he held resemblance to his older brother and that brought out the hostility in him, but it’s been years and that hasn’t changed much. Not even after the talk they had months ago when the other was going through a rough time emotionally.

It gets dull. Life gets painfully, unbearably dull when you can have everything you want at the snap of your fingers. When everyone puts you up on a pedestal all the time, when your mere presence instills fear in others, when your name only means one thing to the rest of the world, it gets boring. The challenge is a thrill difficult to let go of because it adds flavor to life. The most memorable times of his life Jumin has spent them with the RFA, particularly Zen. There’s no doubt about that.

He faces challenges while at work, while out in business dinners, while doing what he has to do to accomplish the goals of his position in his father’s company. None of them compare to the challenge that Zen embodies. He’s bold, self-assured, obnoxiously _such a_ _guy_ , and right down bratty whenever he wants to be, and somehow Jumin finds himself joining open chatrooms where the younger man happens to be. He finds himself wondering if everything’s okay when everyone starts to wonder where the actor is and why has he been absent for so long. Jumin constantly finds jobs for him in his company for God’s sake.

It isn’t a secret that Jumin doesn’t believe in love. The only love he’s ever known is the one from his best friend who is no longer here with him, and from the gift he keeps close to his heart, Elizabeth. His life is mostly somewhat mechanical, and there’s no way he’ll ever find true, unconditional love. Everyone likes to joke about his beautiful princess, Elizabeth and how he should marry her. He’s perhaps more shocked at the fact that they’ve never suggested Jumin to marry Zen instead. Essentially both do the same for him, they take his mind away from being deep into his work. One way or another.

Two shadows passed by the windows very fast along with stifled laughter, making Jumin frown. The curtains in his sister’s home weren’t very effective at keeping the sun out probably because they were simply meant to give the bedrooms some privacy. They all faced and led to the backyard which had an enormous pool facing the open view of the city. He can only assume the people outside were either his siblings or house workers.

Jumin pulled his legs out from under the covers and sat on the side of the bed before getting up to walk across the bedroom and take a peek outside. When he saw that the two people laughing were his sister and Zen, he unlocked the glass doors and pushed them aside to step into the backyard.

Both were standing close as they murmured things to each other with airs of easiness surrounding them. That, he didn’t like. He’s not sure why, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that he doesn’t like it and he needs it to stop. Junghee was taken by Zen from the moment she saw him to no one’s surprise. While everyone else believes they’re both in a relationship, they actually aren’t. Zen is _very much_ single and interested in pretty girls, his sister happens to be very young, and exceptionally good looking.

“Oh Jumin, morning,” Zen greeted him first with an easy smile on his face after he spotted him standing in pajamas by the glass doors of his bedroom. There was sweat rolling down the side of his face making his loose bangs stick to his skin. Both him and Junghee were wearing athletic clothing, having finished a morning run no doubt.

His sister turned and laughed when she saw his frown framed by a slightly disheveled look. “Aw, you never pegged me as the jealous type. Then again, I don’t really know you.”

Zen turned to look at Jumin pointedly before rolling his eyes in disbelief. “Dude, it was six kilometers and all we did was run.” he explained to him as if that makes him feel any better. Deep down he knows Zen would _never_ do anything to his sister, but that same deep down is where he knows _that_ might not be the actual problem.

“You guys are so cute,” Junghee gushed some more, taking a hold of Zen’s arm to pull him closer. All the younger man did was look down at her with a questioning look before Jumin had enough of the display. Yesterday was fine, that was enough. The least his sister could do is show some class, she’s _getting married_. “You’re up late, brother. Father tells me you’re an early bird,” she asked after taking in his displeased look.

“I could’ve slept some more, Lord knows my body needs it. I was woken up by screams. Mother is already screaming bloody mary at Father…”

“Oh no, I better go stop them.” His sister waved at Zen who waved back before running off to the other side of the yard and towards the doors that lead the the room where the kitchen is.

Jumin watched her go before turning to look at the young actor with curiosity. He remembers the energy drink commercial and how the makeup artists tried to replicate sweat on his skin. His dark eyes drifted away to the pool in the distance. “Are you going to stand there all gross and sweaty or…?” The question was born out of the irritation of wanting to stare some more.

“Ohoho,” Zen leaned over with a grin on his face and crossed his arms across his chest, “I don’t know. I kind of want to stand here a bit longer and stare at your sleepy, grumpy face. It’s not something anyone gets to see, ever,” he teased, making Jumin frown in discomfort. He was annoyed at his parents, at his sister, and now he was annoyed at Zen for making him feel _things_ with his sweat and his shirt clinging to the curves of his muscles--

What the hell was his brain going on about. Sleeping for so long must have done something to his head. “Stop shitting!” He was officially over this idea of inviting the younger man along for the wedding.

Laughing, Zen reached over and touched Jumin’s bed mussed hair as if it was something he could do without permission. It _wasn’t_.

“And stop touching me so much,” he gritted lowly, slapping the hand away from his face. Unlike last night, Jumin was no longer curious to what the other intends to do when he gets closer. The answer is clear. Zen only wants to annoy and irritate him.

Zen breathed in through his teeth as he turned around to open the glass doors to his bedroom. “Touch you all the time, got it!”

Unbelievable. Zen had the _audacity_ to not only make fun of him but also reach over and _touch_ him when he knows Jumin detests when people touch him.

He silently fumed the entire time he showered and got dressed, thinking of ways he could get even with the _child_ that was Zen. Before he would’ve thought this sort of behavior to be appalling but he’s having way too much fun thinking such things and wanting to act on them. It was liberating.

Jumin looked at his reflection in the mirror and fixed his tie, then smoothed down the sleeves of his shirt. He wasn’t going to wear his three piece suit around his family when they were on vacation, but he wanted to look presentable enough for his--Zen’s words echoed back to him calling him a daddy’s boy, coaxing him to resist the urge he has to please his father.

 _On second thought_ , Jumin smirked as his finger went up to undo the tie and take it off completely.

 

~

 

Zen’s forehead was pressed against the cool glass of the elegant shower he was in. The steam floated around him, making his hair disappear while he slowly moved back only to smack himself against the matte surface repeatedly. He was so tired he almost fell asleep standing like that, all because he couldn’t stop thinking about Chairman Han and what his reaction would be. Jumin royally fucked him with this stupid plan, he really did. The second things go differently than what the older man envisions, Zen is probably never getting another job through C&R International. That would be the worst outcome and not because of the reason anyone would think. Money has never been an interest of his.

Zen _loves_ being something Jumin needs. Be it a model for a photoshoot, an actor for a commercial, or a face of his entire company. As arrogant as it sounds he doesn’t feel bad about getting his ego stroked whenever Jumin calls him for an upcoming new project. Besides, no one is more arrogant than the trust fund kid himself.

How will things change once Chairman Han knows he’s here as his beloved elder son’s _boyfriend_? Will he get taken down by a hired hitman? Will the old man strangle him with his bare hands? His heart began to beat very fast and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Fucking… Jumin…” Zen panted softly against the glass. “Why do I find myself going along with the things you say lately?” His nose itched and twitched an entire week after filming the infamous cat food commercial. It was so intense, sneeze after sneeze nonstop, that Yoosung visited him for a weekend to make sure he wouldn’t drop dead.

It’d be far more beneficial to Zen being allergic to jerks instead of cats.

“ _Achoo!_ ” He sneezed loudly, snapping himself out of the looming thoughts.

Like the little puppet Jumin believes him to be, Zen finished his shower shortly after his small meltdown and dressed to impress Chairman Han. He stared at himself in the mirror sitting against a wall by the big windows and smiled. His strikingly beautiful looks and his charming personality are overwhelmingly irresistible. _No one_ can resist him, not even Chairman Han.

The home was eerily quiet as he walked down the bedroom hall towards the main room where the kitchen was located. He couldn’t have spent _that_ much of his time in the shower, Jumin told them his mom was already exchanging punches with his dad. A loud shrill guided him outside the home where he found everyone standing around Gaeul who seemed to be dangling something over a pretty fountain he didn’t get to see yesterday when they arrived.

“That tramp is _not_ sleeping under the same roof as me and your children,” Gaeul hissed before dropping what he now realizes is a phone into the fountain.

“Ah! You’re crazy, old lady!” A very beautiful young woman yelled at her as she moved to bury her face in who Zen assumes to be Chairman Han’s neck.

“Don’t fret, beautiful, I’ll get you a new one,” Chairman Han said before turning to glare at Jumin’s mom. “How childish of you. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to come along.”

“Oh, you could’ve come and things would’ve been fine _if_ you had kept your _girlfriend_ away from this family,” Gaeul spit out the word girlfriend as if it were poison in her tongue. “Have some sense, use that hollow brain of yours for once!”

Zen would’ve died laughing if anyone had told him this is how Jumin’s family interacts with one another. By yelling, insulting, and throwing phones into fountains. There’s no way someone like Jumin; cold, stoic, reserved, takes after either of his parents. They’re more expressive than he ever imagined them to be.

“Hollow brain? I currently run one of the most successful export companies _in the world_ , and I accomplished this all by myself,” Jumin’s dad argued while he held his girlfriend close.

Gaeul got off the small ledge she had been standing on in order to be closer to the water, then marched up to her ex-husband to get in his face. “Am I supposed to rub tears off my face because of your made up sob story? Your company became as successful as it is thanks to your family’s money. You don’t fool anyone, certainly not me! Unfortunately for you, I _actually_ know you.”

While the old man began to stutter indignantly, Jumin took the opportunity to get between the two and separate them. “This needs to stop,” he interjected firmly. “Mother, let’s not get in a lawsuit that can make the company look bad. Father,” the young director paused, eyes awkwardly meeting Zen’s when he noticed he was standing out there with all of them, “you should’ve known better.”

Chairman Han’s girlfriend saw Jumin stare at something. She curiously looked over only to gasp in surprise. “Is that Zen!?”

“Huh?” Junghee turned and whined before covering her face with both her hands. “Oh no, Hyun, I can’t believe you saw all of this!” She was so embarrassed that her ears were impossibly red. Zen allowed himself the thought of that being the cutest thing.

“Sweetie, you didn’t tell me Zen would be here!”

Chairman Han turned to see what had his girlfriend excited despite losing her phone to his ex-wife moments ago. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about.”

“Who’s Zen?” Junghee whispered hoping her older brother had an answer but the jerk simply ignored it.

“I’m Zen,” he confessed. “It’s my stage name.” Anyone would’ve gotten this information if they had noogled him, but he hoped it wouldn’t come up at any point during these two weeks. The less people know his persona Zen is involved in all of this, the less chances he has of scandals developing. But Jumin had to be Jumin and leave him to the wolves to no one’s surprise.

“And may I ask what you’re doing here, Zen?” Chairman Han questioned while his girlfriend wiggled out of his arms to walk up to him and admire at a closer distance.

Gaeul smirked and moved to grab Jumin’s arm so she could walk him towards Zen. “Hyun, that’s his real name by the way, is here because Jumin invited him to the wedding as his plus one.”

The oldest Han narrowed his eyes in thought. “You look familiar…”

“He’s done a variety of jobs for the company, father,” Jumin shared monotonously. “He’s my boyfriend.” Gah, That word coming from Jumin sounded _so bad_. Zen wishes he were a woman, someone pretty and carefree like Junghee, or Momo. He would take someone as serious as Jaehee even though he prefers free spirits. Ultimately, he’d take anyone other than Jumin.

The man’s eyes blinked rapidly as he inched his head closer. Everyone went awkwardly silent as Chief Han stared at Zen. “Pardon me... your what?”

“I know you’re senile, but has age really gotten you this bad? This is your son’s _boyfriend_. Now get over it, if you can bring your gold diggers here, your son can certainly bring his legitimate lover.” Gaeul exhaled with an attitude and crossed her arms across her chest, daring her ex-husband to argue with her.

Zen was at a loss of words. He didn’t expect to rely this information the way they did to Jumin’s dad. Nice and gentle would’ve been his way of doing things, but clearly that’s a concept this family isn’t familiar with. Cold sweat began to run down his back when the man’s eyes wouldn’t stop pinning him down. He kept calling Jumin for help with his mind despite the fact that if by some sort of miracle anyone in this home is connected mentally, it wouldn’t be either of them.

“Father!” Junghee interrupted the imaginary murder that had been happening. “If you’re serious about wanting to make me happy, let the fighting stop. Why don’t you stay here with us as well? Let’s all get to know each other more.”

“What!?” Gaeul clutched her pearls in shock. “Junghee, what’s wrong with you!?”

Her daughter brushed her off and continued to plead her father with her eyes. “Father, I want us to act like a family for once. Do it just for me, for my wedding, please.”

After a moment of consideration, Chairman Han relaxed his serious face and smiled at his one and only daughter. “Of course, princess. I would do anything to make you happy.”

“Ah,” Gaeul gasped before tripping backwards. Jumin happened to be close to her so he was able to catch her in his arms. “Oh no, I can’t believe this. I’m going to faint…”

Zen quickly helped Jumin with his mom, grabbing her arm and linking it with his own so they could walk her inside to one of the couches. “Thank you, darling,” she muttered before reaching up to pat his cheek along with Jumin’s. It made Zen’s body tingle with satisfaction.

“Not a problem,” he whispered with a faint smile. His own mom never patted his cheeks like that. It made him feel like a child but in a pleasant, reminiscing way.

“What a melodramatic witch,” the oldest Han prodded. “They should hand you an Oscar for how good your acting is.” The woman began to rise up for the challenge but Jumin stared her down until she laid back on the cushions and pressed an arm over her eyes.

And just like that everything was peacefully silent. Juwon was nowhere in sight, Junghee was trying her best to talk to the infamous girlfriend, and Chairman Han was still staring at him with those cold, dark eyes. Cold and dark eyes that made him very uncomfortable. Unlike Jumin’s, Chairman Han’s weren’t familiar to him.

Clearing his throat, Jumin motioned for Zen to follow him to the kitchen. They were halfway across the room when his dad called out for him. “Jumin, we need to talk.” It was the dryest, most forced sentence he’s ever heard. He wanted to shiver at the demanding tone.

“I’m afraid I’m busy at the moment. My boyfriend and I are about to eat breakfast. You may join us if you please.”

Holy shit. Jumin was either the most amazing actor or he was genuinely going against his dad’s requests. Zen’s mouth closed with a click of his teeth when a foreign hand wrapped around his and began to pull him towards the kitchen. He looked down at their hands, mind focused on how nice it felt to hold hands with Jumin. _Warm_ , he thought as the other let go of him once they reached their destination, _his hand is warm_. He always imagined Jumin’s overall presence to be cold and unpleasant. Turns out ice prince is just as human as everyone else.

The last relationship Zen had was almost six years ago, and ever since then all he’s ever had for _company_ has been quite literally his own hand. Things like hugging, kissing, cuddling, hand holding, those are the relationship perks he loves the most. This only reminded him of how lonely he felt.

“Do you want coffee?” The older man asked him. Zen began to breathe again. He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath the entire time.

He nodded and looked away before the other noticed the blush on his cheeks. What the hell is wrong with him? Jumin out of all people held his hand and instead of it being revolting, Zen hung on the fact that they were nice hands. Warm and soft, and certainly not the type of hands someone as awful and mean as Jumin should have.

“Hyun! Earlier while you were showering I asked one of the maids to get you some of the coffee I heard was popular among commoners!” Junghee spoke as she moved to sit by the island in the middle of the kitchen. “I hope you like it!”

Frowning, Zen turned to look at Jumin who picked up a glass jar sitting on the counter to read it. “Instant coffee,” he said as he raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, thank you Junghee, but I can drink any coffee. I like all types.”

The young woman widened her eyes at him. “Wow! So you prefer to drink other types of coffee besides that one?” Her question was so ignorant yet adorable, Zen had trouble feeling annoyed with her.

“Coffee for commoners is not a thing, actually.” These people are from another world, but come on, they can’t be this ignorant. He refuses to believe it. “I drink overpriced Moonbucks just like everyone else, I get my favorite frapp whenever I’m in the mood for one.”

Jumin looked up from the espresso machine with a questioning look. “What’s Moonbucks?”

 _Jesus I’m ready, take me out of here_ , Zen thought instead of slapping his face with his hand. Two weeks. He has to deal with this for two weeks and after that he’s free of weird rich people. What’s very discouraging is that he’s been here for less than twentyfour hours and he’s already done.

“I think I had Moonbucks once. A friend of mine bought me a drink from there during a study session on my last year of high school.” Her hands splayed on the marble before she shot up off the chair with a big grin on her face. “Hey! Why don’t we spend some time in the pool? The weather today is perfect for that!”

The abrupt change of topics was still new to Zen, it’s something he needs to get used to because it’s a habit that runs deep in this family. “Why don’t you get ready? We’ll join you once we eat something,” he offered as a plan to which she approved because after a single nod, the cheery girl was on her way to her bedroom.

“So no instant coffee?” Jumin asked after a moment of silence. Zen smiled and shook his head at the attempted joke. “Suit yourself. By the way, I’d rather not get in the pool.”

“Um, so don’t get in the pool? No one is forcing you to do something you don’t want to do Jumin. I figured you’d want to go outside for a while since we’ve been a little cooped up.”

The prospect of a swim made him both equally excited and tired. Zen didn’t have the best sleep the previous night and it was all thanks to Saeyoung and his invasive antics. That conversation purposely happened in the private messaging part of the app and not in the chatrooms _for a reason_. It’s unbelievable the kid not only read private information, but also messaged him about it right when he was about to fall asleep.

His eyes widened for a moment before he turned to look at Jumin as he got a second cup of coffee ready. Should he tell him that Saeyoung knows about this? It wasn’t his intention for others to know, and he didn’t expect their friend to snoop around private conversations between members of the RFA.

“What?” Jumin asked when he turned and noticed the young actor was staring at him.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” No, it’s best if he keeps that a secret, otherwise the trust fund kid would take out his frustration on him and Zen has had enough of that to know he doesn’t want it. “I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, hopefully the run this morning and the swimming will tire me out.” He’s missing his dancing and acting practices, but maybe these two activities are enough to knock him out tonight.

Jumin shook his head at him disapprovingly. “Your nap was too long yesterday,” he chided with a click of his tongue. Zen raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes roaming the other’s face.

“I guess, yeah. I tossed and turned all night wishing I could have a cigarette. Quitting is so hard,” he lamented.

A warm cup of coffee was handed to him and Zen took it with a whispered thank you. Jumin could be nice when he wanted to. If only the ass would choose to be nice above everything else, things would be world apart different between them.

“That’s what happens when you let it get to an addiction.” Says the alcoholic. Zen had to keep himself from snorting at the irony of this conversation. He’ll let the man have it though, it seems he woke up feeling like a mom. With the chiding and the lecturing, it’s almost like Zen never lost his.

“I haven’t had a cig in months! Give me a break.”

The young director blinked as he took a sip of his coffee, leaning on the counter and looking at Zen straight into his eyes. “You’re doing good,” he offered sincerely, confusing Zen.

“Wha--Wait, what?” His brain couldn’t compute the fact that Jumin was acting all supportive. “Why are you complimenting me all of a sudden?” A nagging feeling told him the other might want something from him, he’s known to kiss up to people when he wants something from them, but Zen wasn’t sure he’ll be able to stop himself from falling for it.

There was a moment before his answer where Jumin averted his eyes suspiciously, making him think the other was definitely up to something. “It’s not a compliment, it’s a fact... You said you haven’t had one in months.”

“What’s gotten into you?” His question was drowned over Junghee’s excited shouts as she ran into the kitchen with her hair tousled by the wind and her face red from the exertion.

“Jumin, now that we all know you and Hyun are together, let’s give Father your bedroom.”

The suggestion made him freeze. Jumin tried not to grimace so openly before he asked, “why can’t I have that bedroom?” Which, to be fair, Zen totally understands. Neither were ready for the scenario where they share a bed.

“Father and his girlfriend will be staying with us, you heard him. Juwon is in a bedroom, mother in another, me and Charles in our own, you and Hyun in the one that was given to both of you originally, and Father in the one connected to yours.”

The other was eerily quiet as he stared at his sister with a blank look. Watching the generally quick to think man actually do his thinking was a funny development from this trip. Through a phone app and very few face to face meetings, Jumin was rather intimidating. In person he was mostly like any other person, except the trust fund kid tends to be more reserved. And incredibly boring.

“I can get us hotel rooms,” he offered nonchalantly, forcing Junghee to go around the island so she could grab onto his arms and shake him. Her long, pretty lashes were batted at him and a cute little pout decorated her face.

“Brother, you can’t leave! The point is for us to actually _live_ like a family, for once!” The whining began to annoy Jumin to the point that he moved to grab Junghee’s hands and remove them from his body. “I never see you, all I ever get from Father are pictures of you or whatever Noogle tells me whenever I noogle your name.”

That was sad. Zen watched them, corners of his eyes softening at the thought of little Junghee wanting to know about her older brother but never being able to see him. Jumin’s family despite being dysfunctional as fuck, is a family that loves him. Their dad was willing to stay in the house just to make his daughter happy. Apparently Junghee didn’t even care he invited his girlfriend along, not as much as she cared about them all ‘acting like a real family’. It was sweet.

“Let’s stay here,” he spoke without a care. Jumin would probably fume later at the fact that he made the decision for him, but there’s no way Zen would let him deny that cute little pout, and those big, glimmering dark eyes. “As luck will have it, all rooms are probably booked because it’s the middle of Summer or some shit like that.”

Jumin, as he predicted, wasn’t too happy with his words, but one last look at his sister was all it took before he sighed and accepted the suggestion. “I suppose you’re right.”

His sister moved too fast and pressed a kiss on his cheek before she turned to Zen with a big grin and another kiss on the cheek to spare. “Whenever you’re ready I’ll be out by the pool!” And the two were left alone once again.

“I see you can’t wait to sleep in the same bed as me,” began the older man as he turned away to see in a calendar on the fridge what the chef was cooking for them that morning. “You could’ve just said something and I would’ve stayed in the room last night.”

It was so obvious the other was trying to rile him up, but like he’s said it before, Zen is weak and he falls for it every time. “As if! Don’t you try to do weird things to me in my sleep, okay?”

“I hope _you_ don’t try to do things to me in my sleep,” Jumin fought back, turning to glare lazily at him.

Rolling his eyes, Zen walked around and sat on one of the stools. “Says you. If anyone is suspicious of doing weird things, it’d be Mr. Weirdo himself. I’m the one with the perfect, sculpted body here.”

“I have a nice body too,” Jumin said confidently, to which Zen snorted and looked him up and down with exaggerated disdain. “I’ll have you know that my nutritionist keeps my body healthy and fit. And I’ve never smoked.”

“Blah, blah my nutritionist, blah, blah I can’t take care of myself. I know, trust me.” A nutritionist didn’t guarantee a nice body, but he’d much rather drink his coffee while he waits for his food to be served than to argue with him.

About twenty minutes later the chef came into the kitchen and had their breakfast done in less than their wait time. Zen ate it all, feeling very hungry due to his lack of appetite the previous night. The only one that joined them for breakfast was Juwon, surprisingly, and their Father was nowhere in sight. He could tell the young director was irritated, so he kept his mouth shut the entire time and quickly disappeared back to their now shared bedroom to change before he takes it out on him.

Irritated or pissed Jumin always meant him being extra mean to him. To be fair, Zen has a horrible habit of always wanting to prove the guy wrong, so it’s not unjustified. But that’s not a valid reason to be so _mean_.

When Zen was ready to walk out to the pool, Jumin decided to sit outside in the shade and revise some paperwork he still needed to take care of. As long as he wasn’t in Zen’s face constantly making stupid rich people comments, he didn’t care that the older man did around him.

“Hyun, come in, the water is very nice,” Junghee waved her arms from where she was by the edge of the pool. It was a cool pool, the far edge facing the vast city made it look like they were going to fall down the hill.

A maid he didn’t notice before approached him and extended her hands to him as if to take something. When he didn’t do anything other than stare at her in confusion, Jumin explained that she was there to take his shirt and shoes, and bring him a towel once he was in the pool.

“I ought to get you in English classes,” the trust fund kid muttered, effectively annoying Zen. “You should be able to communicate with others.”

“Excuse you? I don’t want English classes, thank you very much.” Why was he randomly saying stuff like that, and without asking him first to make it worse. Jumin doesn’t have to do anything for him because it’s simply not his responsibility. Zen dropped it at the realization that the other could’ve been playing along his role of boyfriend.

“But it’s good to be able to speak different languages! We all know a few. Jumin is the best one out of the three though, he can speak more languages than me.”

Zen knew Jumin spoke English, but he didn’t know he spoke more than just English and Korean. It makes sense though. V always talked about how efficient Jumin’s mind was, how incredible his ability to remember everything seemed to him. The slight pang of inferiority hit him, making him look away so the others couldn’t see it reflected on his face.

Junghee sensed his displeasure with the conversation despite his attempt to hide it. The young woman swam to where he was standing by the edge and splashed him with water, making him shiver at how cold it felt. “Come on, get in with me!” She grinned at him again and he couldn’t resist it.

In one movement Zen took his shirt off and gently but awkwardly handed it to the maid before slipping off his sandals. Both the maid and Junghee’s eyes widened as they stared at his bare torso, which he already knew was pretty amazing.

“My God, those muscles,” Jumin’s little sister breathed out with a laugh. “Hyun, you’re _gorgeous_. If I keep staring at you I’m going to start feeling jealous of my older brother!” She turned away with a giggle before swimming off to the other side of the pool.

“You hear that, babe,” he jokingly called at Jumin who was still looking down at his paperwork while he leaned back on a lounge chair. “Your sister is jealous that all of this,” he moved his hand in a circular motion inched from his torso, “is just for you.”

“That’s because she doesn’t know how annoying you are.”

That jerk. “Then I guess this isn’t for either of you,” he snapped in indignation and sat on the edge before sliding into the pool. He turned his head to be able to reach for his ponytail, and casually glanced at Jumin only to find the guy staring at him. Zen scrunched up his nose before turning away with a swing of his wet, silver hair.

“Brother, are you going to be a party pooper the entire time?” His sister asked from where she was. “You should come join us.” Because this was Jumin she was talking to, the young director ignored her and continued his boring task without interruption. “Whatever. Oh no!” She snapped after she turned her attention back to Zen.

“What is it?” He asked, wondering if he did something wrong. He wasn’t aware there were rules of etiquette he needed to follow to get in a pool.

“I forgot to hand you the sunscreen. Here,” she beckoned him as she turned to swim away to the steps on the side of the pool. “I’ll put some on you.”

He followed her and got out as well, moving to sit on another lounge chair when she motioned for him to do so. “I’d much rather get a tan than a burn,” he said as he leaned forward so she could squirt the dense, white liquid on his back.

“I bet you look even more beautiful with a tan,” she muttered as her small, soft hands spread the cream all over his back muscles. “Can I feel your muscles? They’re very hard,” she echoed her mom’s comments from the previous day, making Zen feel slightly uncomfortable but mostly because this was Jumin’s baby sister.

Out of curiosity Zen glanced to where Jumin was only to find him staring again. Eyes flickering down on the papers immediately. What was going on with him? It’s not like they’re actually together-- _Oh my God_ , Zen gasped mentally. Jumin probably thinks he’s going to do something to his sister. That’s why he came to sit outside with them. Which is totally insulting and hurtful, he _would never_ make a move on his freaking sister, for God’s sake. Who does the asshole think he is?

He never imagined getting this angry (for real angry) at Jumin. The burning at the pit of his stomach makes him want to be petty just like the man himself. Zen isn’t that type of guy, he isn’t even that type of person, the cautiousness and the monitoring wasn’t warranted.

“Yeah Junghee, go ahead and feel my muscles,” he said loud enough to let Jumin know it was on purpose. “Want to touch my abs too? I work hard for them.” The small, soft hands rubbing his back moved around his sides to touch the firm muscles on his stomach.

Clearing his throat, Jumin sat up and placed the papers down on his lap, openly annoyed at what was going on. “Junghee, tell us about _Charles_ ,” he said with a fake smile. Fake because Zen was aware how the real ones make the corners of his eyes soften, and the apples of his cheeks swell. Real smiles also make him look human instead of the robot he pretends to be.

“Oh!” His sister removed her hands from Zen’s body and nervously giggled as she went back into the pool. “Well, he is a director here in California. He’s directed a couple of really popular movies. He’s very nice, and also sweet. He’s thirty-five and likes to collect money from different countries--”

“Did you just say he’s thirty-five?” Zen blurted out before he could catch himself due to how shocking that fact was. Junghee was twenty-two. Her fiance was thirteen years her senior. “Is this also an arranged marriage?”

Junghee paused and tilted her head in confusion, some of her bangs brushing against the edge of her eyebrows. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Jumin interjected through his teeth. “Go on.”

“You’ll meet him tomorrow at the dinner party we’re attending! And I think he’s going to love you Hyun!”

Zen leaned back in surprise at the assumption. “You think so?” Unless this Charles is able to speak Korean, there’s no way he’d be able to communicate with him. But the young woman could be speaking of looks alone, in that case it wouldn’t come as a surprise to him. Most people are dazzled at how handsome he is.

The other nodded and splashed water at him, playfully challenging him to a water war. “Just try not to steal him away, okay? He’s _mine_!”

He chuckled at her words, finding her easy going nature incredibly refreshing. Jumin was mostly stuffy and suffocating, but his sister was funny and super chill. She reminded him of his beloved friend, future Mrs. Choi back home.

The two spent a while chasing and splashing each other with water, and eventually were joined by Juwon who decided to make an appearance once again. No one asked him why he had been absent most of the time they’ve been here, so Zen didn’t say anything either. If he would describe the kid in any way, he’d say he’s shy, except he doesn’t actually know much about him so whatever he concludes is nothing but an assumption.

By the time the sun was setting, the three of them were tired and hungry. The last time Zen had this much fun was the weekend his princess stayed in his apartment while Saeyoung took care of some stuff that involved Saeran. Which reminds him that he needs to check up on him, let Seven know that he cares about him and his family. It’s crazy to think so much happened in such little time many months ago, but no matter how ridiculous things got they never turned their backs on each other.

And that’s why he’s here, to support Jumin and not turn his back on him. Zen watched Jumin move around the bedroom putting his stuff away while he sat on a chair and munched on some very strange but delicious crackers shaped like fishes. Dinner was going to be served later for everyone to eat together, so he had to settle for the American snack.

“You know,” he spoke in between bites, “I could be more disgusted at the fact that I’ll be sharing the bed with you… but I’m not.” Surprising. His ongoing dislike of Jumin is over his shared similarities with his own older brother, but that’s about it. He had no cat here--Zen sniffled--thus he had no reason to be so dramatic about it.

“That makes one of us,” Jumin muttered monotonously as he kneeled to fix his shoes under the suits hanging above. Zen casually let his eyes roll down Jumin’s curved form before he realized what he did and almost choked on a cracker.

Rolling his eyes, Zen pushed himself off the chair and moved to lay on the bed with his arms sprawled. “Oh please. I’m the perfect bed partner. I don’t snore, I don’t talk, I don’t even move! Now my question to you is, are you guilty of any of those things?” Jumin turned to look at him from under hooded eyes, the glare not entirely effective. He could be mean and sharp with his words, but Jumin in person was as dangerous as a house fly. His best weapon was his brain.

“You don’t scare me,” Zen said after a moment of silence. His red eyes locking Jumin’s grey ones in a surprisingly intense hold. “You’re very powerful because of your money, but you don’t scare me.”

“And why is that?”

With a smile Zen sat up to properly talk to the older man. “Let’s see… You can’t drive, you can barely do anything in the kitchen, you’re in love with a fluffball, and the craziest thing you’ve done so far is tell your dad you can talk to him _later_.”

“Lots of people are intimidated by me,” the argument was sound, but Zen also had an answer for that.

“Well, yeah, most people find having money something to be admired. And when money can get you whatever you want, it can be feared. But I’m not one of those people, I don’t care how much money you have. For me, you’ll always be the helpless trust fund kid that keeps a cat as his life companion.”

Jumin blinked and slowly got up without breaking eye contact. “You say I’m helpless, but I’m not helpless. I can cook.”

“Oh, and what is this that you can cook?”

“Omurice.” He said it with so much pride that Zen couldn’t stop himself from bursting out laughing. “Why are you laughing?” There was a slight blush forming on the young director’s face, it made Zen laugh even more.

“That’s only one thing,” Zen gasped in an attempt to stop his laughing. He can picture the other attempting to cook things and setting his kitchen on fire. “You’re not stupid, you could easily follow recipes.”

Shrugging, Jumin was bored of the conversation and turned away to continue putting away his belongings. “I could, but I don’t need to when I have a chef that takes care of that for me. You would too if you were as rich as me.”

“Aha, no. That’s where you’re mistaken, rich bastard.” Zen calmed down and sighed happily. His lips curved into a soft smile. “If I were as rich as you I’d give all my money away.”

“Bullshit. Everyone needs money, even you.”

“True,” his bag of crackers crinkled as he placed it next to him on the bed, “I do need money for rent, food, and all those necessities. But there’s normal amounts of money and excessive amounts of money. I don’t need excessive amounts of money.”

Jumin paused what he was doing once again but this time he didn’t turn around to argue with him. Instead he remained silent, letting Zen know he was no longer interested in what they were talking about. If Jumin is happy because of how much money he has, that’s fine. But that’s not how everyone works. Money doesn’t make everyone happy. It still, however, made Jumin helpless which was the entire point of the argument.

“I’m not helpless,” Jumin said to him before he walked out of the bedroom once he was done.

The other seemed to have taken Zen’s criticism to heart, not that he’s one to talk about being sensitive. The fact of the matter was, they were here to piss off both his parents and as long as Jumin’s helplessness doesn’t get in the way then everything will turn out the way he wants it to. That talk he’s going to have with his dad is crucial, and he hopes Chairman Han doesn’t end up wanting his head on a platter because that wasn’t what he signed up for.

If Jumin ends up falling into his dad’s grasp as his precious little boy, then Zen would have gone through all of this embarrassment for nothing.

“Ugh,” he groaned aloud before falling back on the bed again. His face felt warm due to the tan he acquired being in the pool for so long, so he didn’t want to rub on his skin too much. “Jumin is pretty driven, he’d do what he has to do no matter what. Hopefully this isn’t a disaster.”

His phone went off and Zen pulled it out of his pocket only to start laughing again when he saw what it was.

Jumin Han:  
I’m not helpless.

ZEN:  
Prove it

Jumin Han:  
I don’t have anything to prove.

 

~

 

Dinner with his family that night was as silent and dead as a graveyard in the middle of the night. Everyone was there, even his disappearing brother and his father’s girlfriend, but no one was speaking to one another. The woman whose name they still don’t know tried to break the ice a few times followed by Junghee, but to no avail. It was clear to him that his father wasn’t happy with Zen and the reason he’s here. It pleases him. What Jumin has against his father is not about him having to please the man in any way, it’s the fact that he didn’t care about him or his feelings when he arranged a marriage. Zen, as displeasing as it is to admit it, was right in that aspect.

“Jumin,” his father spoke, breaking the stifling air, “how come you’ve never mentioned your interest in men?”

Juwon choked on his asparagus and his mother was ready to stab the man with a fork, but he raised his hand at her to calm down and he turned to face the man. “I don’t see why there’s any need to mention something as personal as that. Besides, it’s not like you ever asked me.”

The two younger siblings turned to stare at one another before everyone’s eyes went to his father. _How’s this for proving it_ , he thought against his own desires, wanting to please the idiot of a friend he has. _Dammit_. Zen always does this to him, and he has yet to figure out why he allows the other’s words to sway him.

“I understand,” the man cleared his throat and set his fork down on the table, “but I feel this is something of utmost importance.”

It seems the man wants to have this conversation here, in the middle of dinner with everyone as a witness, so Jumin will definitely give him that. “And why is that?”

“Don’t feign ignorance. What about grandchildren?”

His mother slammed her hand on the table and glared at his father with so much intensity even Zen leaned back on the chair before turning to give him a panicked look.

“If this is how you’re going to be during this family dinner, you can ask your little girlfriend to wheel you all the way back to your bedroom.”

“I’m sorry, am I speaking to my son, or am I speaking to the witch?” His girlfriend moved to grab his hands but he pulled them away from her (gently) and got up as well. “I tried to have this conversation earlier with him but he decided breakfast with this--”

“Enough!” Junghee jumped up as her face turned red like a tomato. “I can’t believe you’re doing this right now, Father!” The poor girl felt so humiliated that she dropped her napkin on her plate and rushed out of the dining room.

“Junghee,” he called after her but she didn’t stop. “You see what you do?” He said to his mother who shook her head in disbelief and walked after her daughter.

Chairman Han turned to his girlfriend and kissed her head before he grabbed his glass of wine. “Let’s finish dinner.”

“Actually, I’ve had enough as well,” Jumin muttered respectfully and got up, turning to look at Zen in a silent plea to stand along with him. Thankfully the younger man was pretty good at reading the atmosphere so he didn’t have to ask him twice.

Zen walked further into the bedroom first and looked at him in surprise. His arms opened wide in an unspoken question. Jumin wishes he could be in silence, but considering the other is very in the middle of this mess he’s going to have to explain things.

“Don’t w--”

“Please,” Zen exhaled dramatically, “don’t tell me to not worry about it. Is your dad going to disown you?”

Jumin had to swallow a chuckle at the turn the conversation took. If he had been worried about being disowned, he wouldn’t have gone along with the plan he came up with when he was drunk. “I have many, many millions in stocks under my name. Even if he not only disowns me but also takes away my position at the company, I’d be fine.”

Nodding, Zen breathed out in relief and threaded his fingers in his hair, pushing it back attractively. “I don’t want to be responsible for something like that, it’s all. _You_ came up with this whole plan.” The fact that he wanted to blame all of this on Jumin was ridiculous, _Hyun_ pressured him and now this mess belonged to the two whether he was okay with it or not.

“I told you I wasn’t helpless.”

He groaned at his response. “Dude, seriously, just because you have money doesn’t mean you’re not helpless. Also, drop it already. You’re not going to win.”

“There isn’t anything to win, there’s only a fact and it’s that I’m not helpless.”

Zen ignored him and instead disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed. “Since I didn’t get to eat everything we had for dinner I’d like a big breakfast tomorrow,” he called from within the room. A second later the door opened and Zen’s head peeked out, long silver hair flowing down his shoulder. “And I totally win, by the way.”

That was untrue, and Jumin wasn’t going to deign a response, so instead he played with his phone as he waited for the bathroom to free up.

 **Jumin Han** : Who would’ve thought Zen would be so funny.

 **Yoosung** : I’m sorry, did my eyes decieved me?? Did you just say Zen was funny??

 **Jumin Han** : Yes, he said the funniest thing to me earlier.

 **Yoosung** : awwee that’s not fair! This guy, I love him, but he’s so boring when he’s around me. And acts like my mom!

 **707** : what did he say? o.o!!

 **Jumin Han** : He said I was helpless.

 **Yoosung** : ….

 **707** : ………………

 **707** : of course you aren’t …..

 **Yoosung** : ;;; I mean, why did he say that?

 **Jumin Han** : isn’t it funny?

 **707** : TOTALLY

 **707** : H I L A R I O U S

 **Jumin Han** : You’re being sarcastic. I don’t appreciate that, it’s going to hurt Zen’s feelings.

 **Yoosung** : lololol ok now that’s funny. Jumin looking out for Zen’s feelings is just

 **707** : Zen isn’t the best when it comes to jokes so… I’m sorry. It’s not funny at all. If anything that sounds about ri

 **707** : I mean, why would anyone think you’re helpless ??????

 **Yoosung** : To be fair, Zen is very good at getting things done so I wouldn’t be surprised if in his eyes everyone else is helpless. He acts like I am every time he has to take care of me T_T

Zen was good at getting things done, Jumin agreed. He’s selfishly making him go along with this fake relationship and he not only tries to act as perfect as he can, he goes way beyond that. Being nice to his sister, being nice to everyone so far. That wasn’t part of the plan but he does it anyway.

707:  
Jumin, how’s everything? :))

Jumin Han:  
Everything’s fine. Why, do you need something?

707:  
No, no, I was just checking up on you. Can’t have you two murder each other now can I? uwu

Jumin Han:  
I wouldn’t murder Zen if that’s what you’re worried about.

707:  
Like I said, checking up on you. Let me know if YOU need something, my help or you know, if you need to talk.

Hm. What a strange message from Saeyoung, but Jumin’s not going to turn him down. They’re all very good friends, very close too. Like the little family they are.

Jumin Han:  
I will. Thank you.

“You bastard,” Zen barged out of the bathroom in a cotton tshirt, shorts, and his hair braided (he knew it) hanging from his shoulder. His face was freshly cleaned and his bangs were still pinned back, the intimate look somewhat _cute_ if he were honest. “I wasn’t joking, I meant it.”

Jumin smiled on his way to the bathroom to get ready for bed as well. “Are you sure? Because everything you say is a joke,” he was being mean but it was fun to make the other stutter.

Later after he came out of the bathroom, Zen was still grumbling about how he’s the meanest, biggest asshole he’s ever met. If only he knew this was pretty entertaining for Jumin, he’d probably ignore every word he says for the pure reason to not give him the satisfaction.

Zen was already under the covers on the side closest to the windows. Jumin pulled the rest of the covers down on his side and slid into bed, taking a moment to fluff and arrange his pillows behind him. Glancing over at the other, he noticed red eyes watching him curiously from under the cave he buried himself in. “Yes?” He asked coolly as he laid back and shifted into a comfortable place on the bed.

“...You sleep like the dead,” he blurted after almost a whole minute of silence. “Straight back, hands resting on your stomach, head resting on two fluffy pillows. You’re practically a corpse if you count your lack of heart.”

“Do you have to criticize _everything_ I do?” He bit back in irritation. He forgot to ask Yoosung for pictures of Elizabeth, that only irritated him more.

“Yes, yes I do.” Zen chuckled breathily and turned away so his back was given to Jumin. “You stood up to your dad today,” he said softly after Jumin reached to turn his bedside lamp off.

Yes, he did. And it felt good. Jumin couldn’t help himself as his body began to shake. Scared because of the strange movements of the bed, Zen turned to check on him only to find him laughing behind his hand.

“Jumin?”

“I can’t believe I told my father off today…” He was crazy. It’d be surprising if his father doesn’t disown him after the way he talked to him. “But I don’t feel like it was wrong.”

“Of course it wasn’t,” the other encouraged him excitedly. “Dude, you stood up for yourself. I could say I feel proud of you, but it was about damn time.”

The two shared a secret, soft smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start getting good next chapter. Like, more blatant (although both idiots unaware) UST good.
> 
> Thank you SO SO SO SO much to all of you who read, write reviews, bookmark, and like the story. It makes me happy I can share this with all of you!


	5. When Zen begins to stare a bit more for absolutely no reason whatsoever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet Charles, but Jumin and Zen are far too distracted staring at each other.

DAY 3

* * *

 

Jumin was in fact _the worst_ bed partner. The older man moved around and twitched all throughout the night. How the other gets any rest ever is beyond him. All he wanted was to rest up and deal with this as easily as he could; close your eyes and forget about the fact that Jumin Han, Mr. CEO-in-line, jerkface asshole was sleeping right next to him. Now, at five in the morning, the guy was laying still, breathing heavily and sleeping deeply like a baby. Zen was laying on his side glaring at Jumin’s strangely handsome, relaxed face, while holding a pillow and contemplating murder. He could get away with asphyxiating him like he’s seen in movies, the dark circles he’ll have under his eyes surely warranted such extreme revenge. Sighing, Zen loosened his arms around the pillow and rolled back to stare at the dark ceiling. Now that he let his over dramatic self get loose for a while, he feels better and ready to start the day.

Either Jumin lied when he said he felt good going against his dad, or the guy needs serious therapy so he can learn to express a bit more while awake and not have tumultuous sleeping cycles that keep him from getting good sleep. _He’s so not fine and I’m starting to worry about him_ , Zen thought irritatedly, _and who the fuck knows why_.

The bottom line is, Zen didn’t get much sleep even though he needed it. Despite having restless sleep the previous night himself, he did enough to tire himself out--Bah. It doesn’t matter. He can’t sleep.

Because, unlike Jumin, he isn’t an inconsiderate person, Zen got up slowly and silently changed into his workout clothes and slipped his shoes on before sneaking out of the bedroom to go get some water in the kitchen. If he’s going to be awake this early in the morning he might as well take advantage of the cooler morning temperature to get his daily run over with. The previous day he had run into Junghee in the kitchen, this time around he navigated the enormous house all on his own until he found the main glass doors that faced the backyard.

“You think you can go run without me?” Junghee almost gave him a heart attack with the whisper and the hands on his back. His heart thrummed fast in his chest even though he let out a breathy laugh. “Let’s go on a run together again!”

“I wasn’t sure you were going to be awake again,” he shared, wondering if the previous morning had been an accident or if she does workout regularly. “And I don’t know where your bedroom is so I can’t go get you.”

Junghee fixed her hair in a high ponytail as the two walked out towards the trail that surrounded her property. It was a beautiful property, Zen admitted, he wished he had his own running trail too. “I never workout this often,” she confessed embarrassedly, “but you inspire me! I want a nice body like yours.”

“To get a body as nice as this one you need a lot of work and a very healthy diet. I like to drink beer and eat fatty foods, but I’m not like everyone else.”

The young woman laughed and slapped his arm playfully. “You sure aren’t. Jumin’s partner, whether a man or a woman wasn’t bound to be normal,” Junghee giggled. Zen agrees with that statement. They’re not actual boyfriends, but whoever does end up with Jumin will definitely be one of a kind type of person. Trust fund kid was too special and too picky about everything to be with an average Joe or a plain Jane. “I don’t know my brother very well, we’ve spent maybe three weeks worth of days around each other our entire lives. That’s never kept me from figuring out some things about him. You know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Charles isn’t your typical guy either, I’m very special.”

The concept of having siblings and not being close to them wasn’t strange to him, but he did grow up alongside his older brother before he ran away from home and cut ties forever. Jumin, Junghee, and Juwon didn’t have a choice growing up not only in completely different countries, but also in different environments. They were so different from each other in every possible way except physically, it was almost hilarious. Zen studied her face closely, taking a moment to point out the similarities she had with Jumin. The curve of their nose, the swell of their lips, the way their eyes met at the corners was identical as well. The Han siblings were very beautiful people, not that he’d ever say that outloud.

“You look tired!” She randomly commented as they began to jog lazily. “Didn’t get much sleep?” Her question was matched with a sly smile, making Zen groan and roll his eyes.

“Thanks to your brother I _barely_ had any sleep.” The cute ‘Oh my!’ she yipped made Zen not only blush but also stutter. “Jesus Christ, not-- _not like that_! He tossed and turned all night,” he complained, brushing off the implications of her little reaction. God no. He can’t--Just, no.

Junghee’s hands covered her mouth for a second, then she brought them down and continued to jog normally while looking at Zen with wide, surprised eyes. “Oh no, I’m sorry! I tend to do that after a very stressful day. Charles helps me relax though, so I generally have no problems unless he’s away on business.”

Zen could try and help Jumin relax if it meant he gets his eight hours of beauty sleep. As someone who (unfortunately) lives off his looks, he can’t afford to look ragged or tired. “And how does he do that?” He asked curiously, thinking about candles or massages as a possibility. The spa would be a great spot to visit sometime while they’re here. Preferably today or tomorrow because he refuses to put up with Jumin’s bedside habits.

To his surprise, Junghee blushed profoundly before turning her face so fast he thought she might have hurt her neck. **Oh** . Clearing his throat, Zen reached to rub the side of his neck as he tried to keep his own blushing down. Jumin’s out of luck, Zen isn’t _that_ desperate for sleep. He has choices, albeit less comfortable than the bed, but there’s choices.

Comfortable silence hung between them after that excruciating awkward silence (they were both adults, goddammit). His body was more lax than usual. Fatigue kept him from sprinting too much, which gave him the perfect opportunity to let his mind wander.

Why would Jumin lie to him about being okay? It’s not like Zen is going to make fun of him for feeling perfectly normal things, like anxiety over what his dad thinks of his unknowingly fake relationship with a musical actor. There’s the possibility that Jumin wasn’t aware he was anxious as he was swept away by the satisfaction of finally standing up for himself.

“How long have you been dating Jumin?” Junghee asked, breaking his thoughts away from her brother for a moment. Zen felt himself pause, almost tripping on the rough ground. They never went over the details of their little lie, which now that he thinks about it seems very unlike Jumin. Goes to show the guy did come up with it as an afterthought.

“A while,” he answered vaguely, hoping she wouldn’t question him further on it.

Humming, Junghee nodded with her head then slowed down a bit so they could walk. “Jumin’s been alone for a long time,” her hands went up to rest on her hips, “I think it was time he showed some sort of rebellious attitude towards father. He’s not a bad person, Father loves us very much,” she paused with a dip on her frown before smoothing it out, “it’s not like he hates you or disagrees with Jumin’s choices.”

 _Sure_ , he thought, then why had the man been rude the previous night? Jumin has shared the same sentiments about his dad to Zen. Chairman Han isn’t a bad person, he’s very kind and loving towards his children. And Zen would believe it if Jumin hadn’t been forcibly engaged to a woman he didn’t know, if he had kept his girlfriend from coming along on the trip, or if the patriarch of the Han clan would at least look at Juwon when they’re all in the same room.

“Then explain to me why he does the things he does?” Maybe he was overstepping his boundaries but if they’re going to touch on the subject he would rather be told the whole story. “If your dad isn’t a bad person, why does he act like one?”

Junghee lowered her eyes at the question. He rendered her speechless and that only disappointed him more. It’s almost like no one wants to see the truth. He didn’t grow up with them, but how can someone sit there and willingly cover their eyes? Chairman Han isn’t even trying to hide his shittiness. He does whatever he wants to do with them.

“Did...did something happen between Father and Jumin?”

That was a question he couldn’t answer for Jumin. “All I can say is, you’ll have to ask Jumin.” While he was genuinely trying to comprehend Jumin and his feelings about his dad, Zen wasn’t about to divulge information he might want to keep hidden. He already knows their mom has no idea about the engagement, so it’s not surprising that Junghee might also clueless.

“Does it have to do with the engagement I read about on Noogle?”

Well, not so clueless.

Having Junghee mention what happened to Jumin made Zen’s blood boil. They might not have been real, actual friends for very long, but Jumin is a very nice person deep down and he can’t stand seeing him being taken advantage of like this. Despite all his faults, Jumin deserves better from his own fucking family. He might not feel a lot, but whatever little he feels deserves some respect. He digresses. While he’s here, Zen is going to encourage Jumin to stand up for himself, be it his dad or his mom. It’s no wonder the guy turned out so emotionally unavailable, it took him two days to see this.

Zen met her eyes but didn’t answer. “You know,” he sighed after a moment of silence. “I feel like leaving the house. Do you think your brother will want to stop being a hermit for a day, that is if we can do that?”

Smiling, Junghee looked away at the rising sun in the distance. “My only request was to live like a family for two weeks, you guys can do whatever you want! Charles comes back tonight for the dinner party, we could plan a double date in between the million things I have to prepare for my wedding.”

“Oh, you’re actually doing stuff for your wedding? I assumed you’d be like Jumin and hire someone to do everything for you,” Zen’s joke earned him another playful slap.

“I do have a wedding planner, but I want to have a say in everything. It’s _my_ wedding after all. But please say yes to the double date? I always wanted to do something like that but Juwon studies abroad and he’s never brought his girlfriends around.”

Ah, Zen wanted to say no but she was smiling so prettily it was hard for him to do it. “Sure, I’ll let your brother know.”

The rest of the run went on without a hitch and when they were done, the two went their separate ways towards the back glass doors on their bedrooms.

Jumin was awake, but he was still laying on the bed messing on his phone. “Morning,” he muttered as he closed the doors, then stood there staring at the older man who ignored his greeting. What an ass.

“Had a nice run with my sister?” He asked instead, making Zen wonder if it bothered Jumin that he was spending time with his sister.

“Yes, thanks to you I was up super early, so I took advantage of that and went for a run again,” he replied sarcastically. To be honest Zen didn’t expect them to just stay in the home. He assumed they’d at least go out to eat or something but to his surprise the entire family loves spending time cooped up in their home.

“Hm,” the other hummed and turned on his side as he continued doing whatever he was doing on his phone. Probably chatting with the RFA gang. But he made a point to not comment on Zen’s accusation.

Zen dropped himself on the floor and began to do pushups. “Are we ever going to leave the house?” He panted after a couple of minutes of going up and down on the floor. His sweat was starting to drip on the floor but he didn’t have to worry about that because they have a couple of maids that take care of that sort of thing.

“Do _you_ want to go somewhere?” Jumin asked, rolling the other way to watch Zen workout on the floor from the bed. “We don’t have to be at home. However, this is a family gathering…”

Pausing his pushups, Zen looked up and watched Jumin stare at him past the screen of his phone, a fleeting thought that the man looked way less intimidating with bedhead, sleepy eyes, and buried in the covers crossed his mind but he quickly let go of it to huff a retort. “Right, but no one in this house actually wants to spend time together, so we could just go out. We can invite your mom if you want,” he added as an afterthought. The woman hasn’t seen Jumin in years.

Junghee said they’ve spent maybe three weeks together, collectively. What does that even mean? “Hey,” he stopped his exercises and crouched on the spot he was, “what exactly do you and your family do when you get together like this?”

Blinking, Jumin slowly sat up and set his phone down with a sigh. “We have dinners that end up a disaster, as you already witnessed.”

Huh, they don’t spend quality time together. Dinners are not quality time, not the ones they have anyway.

“Okay, let’s invite your mom out today,” he decided without the other’s consent. Jumin watched him in silence, not arguing against his suggestion. “You haven’t seen her in forever, have some fun today.”

“Fun?” The tone of the echoed word made Zen chuckle. This was Jumin he was talking to, his idea of fun was sitting in an office working or taking terrible pictures of a fluff ball. “Have you met my mother?”

For someone that talks about the love of family and all that cheesy stuff, Jumin can’t be less adequate for such concept. “Yes, Jumin. Let’s go do normal things, like get ice cream and have real conversations with each other.”

 

~

 

Jumin remained by his mother’s side as she clinged to Zen’s arm while they strolled down Hollywood Boulevard. Places like these have never interested him, but the second his mother heard she was invited to come along with them, she suggested coming here to show Zen everything related to movies, theater, and television. Fair enough, he had thought and kept his complaints to himself. The other two were talking animatedly, surprising Jumin due to his mother’s carefree attitude. He’s never seen her act this way, not even around his two siblings. It was not only strange, but somewhat uncomfortable. He clearly didn’t fit the mood, wearing a suit and walking down a loud and crowded area (not to mention the bodyguards who were capturing strangers’ interest).

“I have to ask Hyun,” his mother quipped after the three stopped outside a theater so Zen could take a picture with his phone. “Is that your real hair color? Because you have an amazing stylist if that’s not the case!”

The younger man smiled brightly at his mother and nodded. “Yes, I was born with this hair color, and my eyes are also real.”

“Incredible. I travel all over the world and I’ve never seen anyone like you.”

“Ah, yes, I get that often.” He looked a bit embarrassed, which caught Jumin’s attention because the man was never embarrassed about things like that. He’s had this conversation with Jumin and Momo, and probably V and the rest of the RFA, and he’s never seen him get shy about it.

“It makes me happy that Jumin has better taste than his horrid father,” she reached over and patted his cheek warmly, startling Zen but confusing Jumin. “I only wish you two could have babies so they could be the most gorgeous babies in the world.”

His mother was acting different. She’s never done that to him. Junghee gets her hair brushed sometimes, but the only one that gets real physical love from their mother is Juwon. Something about Zen brings out this side of his mother, Jumin is curious to know what that something is.

Whatever it was, Jumin has never seen Zen smile so happily at someone before. The only time this happens is when the man is up on a stage singing and dancing.

“Let’s get ice cream,” he suggested with a small smile. Both his mother and Zen agreed, and the three were off again to find a parlor.

“You know,” Zen spoke to him while his mother left to wash her hands as they waited in line at the counter, “your mom is very pleasant. I didn’t think she’d be because of the way she acted with your dad but… She’s not what I imagined. I can finally see where Junghee gets her personality from.”

Jumin turned to look him in the eye and smile. “Yes, I suppose it’s a good thing. I _am_ aware I can be unforthcoming.”

The young actor scoffed and brushed him with his shoulder, making him shuffle forward from the impact. “And yet you don’t do anything about it.”

He shrugged, not really caring much about what the other has to say. “It’s who I am,” he simply stated, scanning the small ice cream parlor so he wouldn’t have to look at Zen’s frowning face. “Would you want others to ask you to change who you are?”

“When you put it that way, no, I wouldn’t want to. But you could be less cold, that wouldn’t change who you are. Jumin, you don’t have to suddenly become talkative or emotional, but maybe not being so aloof could earn you more friends or something.”

Right, except Jumin doesn’t care for more friends. He was fine with V, he’s fine with only the RFA now. His best friend is irreplaceable. Even if he tried, there wouldn’t be anyone who would understand him the way V understood him, as they were childhood friends. They grew up together, went to school together, spent time in each other’s home. V even got to meet Junghee and Juwon once, long before Rika came into his life.

Besides, it’s not like he has time for the effort to make friends. This is the longest break from work he’s taken this year, and at work he’s mostly surrounded by men his father’s age. Truly, the only people he interacts with that are under thirty years old and aren’t his employees, is the RFA. With the exception of Yoosung who is interning at the moment, but even so, he’s way younger than him. Jaehee is his past employee and she’s the second oldest in their little family.

Something must have shown in his face because Zen leaned over to take a look at him with some concern. “Did I remind you of V?” He asked in a tone that lacked the usual sharpness he exclusively uses on Jumin. “Sorry dude, that wasn’t my intention. I was just teasing you.”

Narrowing his eyes, Jumin straightened his back and analyzed the pretty face. “Why are you acting different?” His blunt question made Zen incline back.

“What?”

Seriously. “You generally care very little about me, so why are you concerning yourself with my feelings all of a sudden,” he explained monotonously.

“Do you want me to not care about your feelings?”

Their little banter was interrupted by his mother who came back smiling and ready for an ice cream date with Zen, but Jumin didn’t stop his mind from answering that question. No, he doesn’t want the younger man to stop caring about his feelings. It was _different_ to have someone consider his feelings without expecting anything in return, his chest tightened at the thought of his father, and Jumin sort of, maybe liked having his feelings considered for absolutely no reason.

The two sat next to each other across from his mother in a tiny booth. Jumin looked absolutely out of place with his three piece suit, and it was making Zen laugh at him. “Do you even own casual clothes?” He asked while taking a bite of his vanilla ice cream. His mother watched them interact as she enjoyed a chocolate one, dark eyes glancing from him to the younger man.

“I do,” he answered with annoyance. “Doesn’t mean I like to wear them.”

“Hyun, have you never seen his closet?”

The question made Jumin raise his eyebrows and Zen widen his eyes. The two met eyes before Jumin thought of an answer quickly. “He has, but it’s all suits. Like I said, I don’t like to wear casual clothing.” He used to when he was around Zen’s age, but after that he switched it up to always formal and hasn’t gone back.

“I bet you’d look good in casual clothes.” Jumin blinked at Zen’s comment, wondering what had gotten into him. “Less stuffy, more approachable,” he added, deflating whatever thought he had about the more positive attitude the other appeared to have adopted.

His mother smiled and Jumin let it go. There was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that made his arms feel heavy and his chest constricted. Zen’s been here three days and he’s already a better fit for his family than Jumin is, and the thought bothered him in a way he didn’t think it would.

“Here, try it,” Zen lifted a spoonful of ice cream up to his face. Jumin stared at it before looking up at the other, his tongue ready to tell him he didn’t like sweet things, but instead of doing that he reacted quickly and leaned forward to take the bite. The gesture surprised Zen even though he was the one who offered him the spoonful to begin with. The red eyes widened while they watched him scrunch up his face at how ridiculously sweet ice cream was in America.

The younger man quickly dropped his gaze down to the cup of ice cream and laughed his surprise off before turning to face his mother to continue their little chat. It wasn’t long before they finished their cold treat and continued down the length of the boulevard. The sweetness of the vanilla ice cream Zen shared with him clung to his lips even when they were on their way back home after his mother announced she was tired of the noise and the crowds.

His sister stopped them in the middle of the hallway on their way to the bedroom they shared to ask for Zen’s help with her outfit for the party.

“I can’t decide which one would look better on me. It’s a surprise for Charles, so I can’t ask for his opinion. But Hyun, you’re gorgeous and you’re an actor, I’m sure you can help me out!”

“I’m not the kind of actor you think I am, but sure, I’ll help you.” He shrugged at Jumin who didn’t really care what he did. If Junghee thought she needed his help, he could be his guest.

Jumin followed them out of curiosity and the two were taken to his sister’s bedroom all the way around the house down a different hall from theirs. “I have a silver dress and a blue dress,” she explained before walking into her closet and pulling out the two gowns. The silver one sparkled a lot, while the blue one was a deep, unsaturated hue similar to the deep parts of the ocean.

“Blue,” the two spoke at the same time, surprising each other with their answer.

“That shade of blue would look beautiful on you,” Zen added after a moment of silence. “Jumin always chooses to wear dark colors and they always look great. You guys look identical, so,” he lifted a shoulder at the end of his comment, shooting Jumin a smile.

Well, he isn’t wrong. They _are_ siblings, and Jumin _does_ look good in dark colors which is why he likes wearing them.

“Thank you! Jumin, you have a great boyfriend,” his sister hugged them both. “I can’t wait for Charles to meet him.”

“You keep saying that, but unless he speaks Korean I don’t think we’ll have much to talk about.” Junghee pouted cutely making Zen smile fondly at her, Jumin noticed.

What’s funny is, Jumin hasn’t met Charles either, yet his sister doesn’t seem too excited about that. Reiterating his thought from earlier that the young actor was a better fit for this family than himself.

“Your sister is so cute,” Zen announced when they walked back on their bedroom. “I can’t believe you keep her hidden from everyone.”

Frowning, Jumin walked past the bed and sat down on the couch by the wall of windows facing the backyard. “I don’t keep her hidden from anyone. She doesn’t live in Korea, there’s no point in the others knowing about her when they can’t interact with her.”

“Hey,” Zen called before settling on the chair adjacent from where Jumin was, “am I really attending that party tonight?” The question confused Jumin for a second before he understood why the other was asking it.

“It’s Charles’ family,” Jumin shared airily. He leaned back comfortably then crossed his legs so he could close his eyes and rest. “It would be weird if my boyfriend doesn’t meet my sister’s new family.”

“Isn’t it bad that everyone will find out you have a boyfriend?” _A valid question_ , Jumin thought to himself, opening his eyes to meet the red ones. “I mean, you’re pretty important back home. If word gets out that you have a boyfriend, won’t things turn ugly for you?”

“Are you not worried about yourself?”

Zen shrugged and smirked before he said, “you gave me your word, I’m not worried about myself,” as a challenge.

“I’m _very_ rich,” he said matter of factly, annoying Zen in the process. “People can say and think whatever they want, it won’t make my money nor my company disappear. We’re too big for something like that to affect us.” If his father’s stupid antics haven’t destroyed their reputation, whoever Jumin happens to sleep with won’t. It’s both the beauty and the horror of his reality.

Sighing, Zen pouted softly as he stared out the windows. “Lucky bastard,” he breathed out in annoyance. “The second people hear I’m involved with a woman my fans go crazy, I can’t imagine what will happen when they hear I’m with a guy.”

Tilting his head, Jumin watched him for a moment. “But you aren’t with a guy.”

Zen rolled his eyes at him. “ _We_ know this. Everyone else will think we are together for real.”

“Are you ashamed of your boyfriend, _Hyun_?” Jumin was smiling and thanks to his reflexes (and frankly the lazy way the other did it) he caught the pillow thrown at him. “But I try so hard to please you, how can you do this to me,” he drawled jokingly which only got Zen more flustered to his amusement.

“Oh God, shut up.”

In all seriousness, Jumin thought about the possible outcomes. If anything, they can feign ignorance if anyone ever brings it up back in Korea. They’ve already been photographed together many times before because of the RFA parties, not to mention all the times they’ve hung out with the rest of the group the last few months. Jumin has been absent most of those times, but there are pictures of them hanging out with their friends, any rumor can be squashed by brushing it off as nothing considering they’ve been friends for a long time.

The last thought brings him back to how the other acted around his mother. Jumin brought a hand up to his lips and leaned back once more, lost in the memory of the younger man acting like such a showoff. He _flirted_ with his mother, not in a deranged way, but his charm had been oozing the entire afternoon.

“Do you miss your family?”

Zen didn’t make any noise, but Jumin heard him breathe in deeply before sighing exaggeratedly. “Is it obvious?” The little breathy laugh that followed the question made the corners of Jumin’s mouth twitch up. “I guess being here reminds me of what I don’t have. I don’t miss my family per se, but I wish--”

The young actor was always quick to compare himself to others. A surprising habit for someone who acts as narcissistic as Zen does. If he’s so in love with himself, why does he always finds reasons to become unhappy with himself? To Jumin that means Zen is either very insecure, or not as narcissistic as he makes himself look when he goes off about himself.

“Ugh, what’s happening,” Zen ended up saying after a moment of silence. “First you take a bite of my ice cream and now we’re having heartfelt conversations. Gross, dude.”

“ _You_ offered me a bite,” Jumin argued back cooly. Both of them sat up, simultaneously thinking it was probably time to start getting ready.

“Sure, but I didn’t think you’d actually take it.” With a groan Zen stretched and got off the couch to walk to where he had his clothes. “You don’t even like sweet stuff.”

He felt like twitching his eye in annoyance. “Then why did you offer me a bite if not for me to take it?”

Zen shrugged and took a moment to think about the situation. “I guess I was just being a good boyfriend in front of your mom.” He stared pointedly at the younger man, who laughed and scratched the back of his head. “Ah, I guess that’s what you were doing too. Nevermind then,” he chuckled embarrassedly.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” he randomly spoke as he got up as well. “Conversations like the one you’re adamant about having with me,” he elaborated when the other looked confused. Seriously, this was getting tiring. It wasn’t hard to follow his train of thought. They were having the conversations moments ago. “Me and V had them all the time.”

“Yeah,” the other replied with a wave of his hands as if to brush off his comment. “It’s not the same.”

“Why?”

Zen turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow and then scrunched up his nose at him. “Dude, you’re… well, you’re you. I like conversations that to go both ways, not just me talking to a fucking wall.”

He was offended.

The next couple of hours were spent with the two of them moving around each other, avoiding both eye contact and speaking with each other. Zen didn’t seem to know or care that he was offended by his comment, but Jumin wasn’t going to dwell on that. It meant nothing to him. The fact that he was somewhat cold wasn’t new, the musical actor wasn’t the only one that thought that either. There’s a reason Jumin grew up without friends other than V. Practicality was always higher on the list of things Jumin considered his priorities throughout his teens and early young adult years, and that hasn’t changed much now that he’s getting closer to his thirties.

“Old man,” Zen called him as if on cue, startling Jumin with how aligned their thoughts were. “Should I put my hair up or leave it the way I always do? Not that I care about your opinion, but I do care about your sister--”

“Do you actually wear your hair any other way? Why have it long if you’re always going to tie it?” Jumin wondered aloud as his fingers deftly got his tie done perfectly.

From the mirror across from him Jumin saw Zen poke his head out from where he was in the bathroom to show him that yes, he in fact does wear his hair differently sometimes. But indoors, where no one can see him. Soft, shiny strands brushed the fabric of his jacket as he looked at Jumin straight into his eyes through the reflection in the mirror. “I can’t step outside like this,” he said jokingly, “I’d be a human weapon, making all the boys and girls drop dead on the spot.”

“From how insufferable you are, evidently.”

The melodious laugh echoed in the bathroom as Zen went back inside to finish whatever he was doing with his hair. Jumin kept his eyes focused on the vacant spot by the bathroom door and thought to himself, that sure, he could see how he could joke about being a human weapon. Zen was… interestingly beautiful. There was enough delicateness to make him seem pretty, but it was balanced out with his chiseled features. If he gets philosophical, Hyun is someone he’d describe as stunning in every sense of the word. His mind confuses him sometimes, strange things happen in there that even someone as smart as Jumin finds them hard to comprehend. In the end that doesn’t matter as his job requires his looks and his ability to get into different characters.

And just like that the two went back to how it was before he got offended by the comment comparing him to a wall.

When everyone was dressed and ready, they all met in the kitchen where his mother explained that they’d be taking two different cars for she was in no way, shape or form going to share the same closed space as his father and his girlfriend. That was fine with him. The less arguments on the way there, the less taxing the evening will be. This was a _party_ with his sister’s fiance’s family, there shouldn’t be a need for him to try to compose himself while his parents tear each other apart.

His mother went in first, followed by his father and his girlfriend. Junghee held onto his and Zen’s arms as they arrived at the venue, a beautiful cathedral that stunned the younger man. “You all look like some sort of royal family,” he muttered to Jumin as they were shown inside the elegant building.

“Hm,” he hummed in appreciation to the comment. “We might as well be.”

“Arrogant asshole,” Zen choked and Jumin glanced at him with a small smile.

 

~

 

The party was being held in an old catholic church, Junghee explained to him on the way to the party. She decided to go for it because of how beautiful it was and because she had a love for Romanesque architecture, something that surprised him due to how different her taste was from Jumin’s. The older man had a love for sleek and elegant. Turns out Junghee is an architect, another fact about her that surprised him. Looking at her he wouldn’t have ever imagined she was into that sort of thing. Then again, what would architects look like if they had alike traits?

Jumin was acting arrogant as always, but Zen wasn’t being bothered by that as much as he was impressed by how beautiful the old cathedral looked decorated for the family party. The lights were dim and there were lots of crystals reflecting against the marble and stone surfaces. The Han clan looked incredible walking into the venue, he thought honestly. There was something different about them, his eyes swept over Jumin as the two watched his sister go off to look for her fiance. He rolled his eyes at how casually Jumin lifted a hand to pat his tie and shoved the other one into the pocket of his pants.

“What?” The young director asked him when he noticed the stares.

Shaking his head, Zen looked away and spotted Gaeul with a woman walking their way. The lady was tall and slim, and her blonde hair was held neatly in a tight bun on the back of her head. There were so many diamonds around her neck Zen almost got blinded by them.

“Jumin, Hyun, this is Grace, Charles’ mother,” Gaeul was speaking English, this he knew, but he didn’t understand much of what she said other than their names.

For the first time in the many years they’ve known each other, Zen got to witness Jumin going from casually standing in the middle of a party to businessman of the year in seconds. He greeted her back and exchanged what he assumed were a few pleasantries before both their attention moved to him. Assuming he was being introduced, Zen smiled brightly at her and nodded his head before looking down in confusion at her hand being extended to him.

Oh yes, they like shaking hands here. Acting like this was the most natural thing in the world for him, Zen shifted his position next to Jumin by moving one arm behind the older man and gently placing his hand on his lower back to lean forward and shake the woman’s hand. After moving back, his hands brushed up to Jumin’s shoulder instead so he could squeeze it.

“You’re exceptionally good looking,” Grace said to him as they moved their hands back but Zen was unaware of her comment until Jumin stepped in and said something else to her.

“He’s still learning English,” his rich, deep voice flowed between them. It pulled at Zen, forcing him to look over and stare at him while he spoke.

Jumin speaking was never interesting to him but hearing him talk in a different language did things to his mind. It fascinated him to hear how the older man modulated his voice depending on the accent.

Moving closer, Jumin whispered in his ear, “she complimented you.”

“Oh!” He knows how to reply to that, it’s two of the maybe five words that was the extent of his English knowledge. “Thank you!”

Both Grace and Gaeul laughed at his enthusiasm and started talking again, losing all of his interest. This was already getting annoying, he couldn’t hold a conversation with Junghee’s future mother in law. Wouldn’t surprise him if the only ones he could talk to were the Han’s. After about thirty minutes of standing next to Jumin and watching the three of them talk about shit he didn’t understand, Zen began to let his eyes wander away from their little circle. He couldn’t locate Junghee among the guests. The girl was most likely being talked to by everyone in her fiance’s family.

Jumin turned away from his arm and Zen’s attention was brought back to the people in front of him. Gaeul smiled and winked at him before Grace said two of the other words he knew in English. “See you,” he replied with a wave, making Jumin frown softly.

“See you is very informal,” he said to him but he didn’t care. It’s not like he knew what he was saying anyway.

He gave Jumin a pointed look, raising an eyebrow. “Are you seriously giving me English lessons right now? She was aware I spoke zero English.” It’s not like he went off saying stupid things without knowing.

“Do you want a drink?” The other asked him instead of continuing their small argument.

This party will be dreadful thanks to his lack of language skills, so he might as well enjoy the booze. “Sure.”

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” and with that the young director walked away from him, leaving him to stand along in the middle of a bunch of strangers.

Looking around, Zen was distracted until someone bumped into him from behind. When he turned around he noticed it was Chairman Han’s girlfriend, looking a bit distressed. “Sorry,” he grabbed her arm to steady her and smiled. “Is everything okay?” This was the first time he’s actually spoken to her directly, now that he thinks about it.

“Oh, Zen!” She gasped into her hand before inching away with a blush. “I’m so sorry, I can be a bit clumsy.” Her hair was styled beautifully down her shoulder, and the huge crystal earrings she was wearing were brighter than his future. “I was looking for--You know what, it doesn’t matter. Either way he’s probably talking about business and I find that incredibly boring.”

Zen laughed at her comment. “I can’t understand anything, I don’t speak English,” he shared humorously. “Lucky me?”

“I can speak multiple languages, unfortunately.” That impressed him, and by her laugh he thought she figured. “I studied linguistics in college,” she explained and that impressed him even more. It made him an asshole to assume she was some sort of uneducated gold digger. Fair enough. It seems Chairman Han doesn’t have a type other than the women being beautiful.

“I bet you’re wondering what I’m doing with someone like him, aren’t you? Everyone in his family does.”

“Actually, no,” he laughed again, “I never wondered that. It’s not like it’s any of my business.”

Her eyes widened and suddenly her body language changed. “You really are the nicest person in the world,” she gushed openly, moving closer once again to peer up at his face. “I’m a big fan, you know? I still can’t believe you’re dating Jumin Han.”

Zen froze for a second. Shit, _shit_ . “Ah, yeah.” There was nothing he could say that wouldn’t make this situation worse for him. If she says anything online his career is over. She’s not only dating Chairman Han, she’s also _living_ with him and Jumin. The girl could easily take pictures of them, or blog about what goes on in the Han’s residence.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered to him after sensing his discomfort. “I’m not going to say anything. I, as many of your fans do, love you regardless! We would never do anything to put you in a compromising position with the public. You’ve worked hard to keep this from being public, that’s incredible! Even I couldn’t escape the cameras that follow the Han family.”

That warmed his heart, what she said was so nice he didn’t know what to do other than to smile and reach to grab her hands in a sweet gesture. “Thank you, this is something no one was supposed to know about,” he muttered sincerely. “I’m not someone big, but I love my job and I’d like to continue doing what I do without any obstacles.”

“Of course!”

He was about to say thank you once again, but then it hit him that he didn’t know her name at all. She was never introduced to him or Jumin, by his father or Junghee. “This is embarrassing, but what’s your name? I don’t remember us introducing ourselves with the whole… fountain thing that went down.”

“Ara Beom,” she giggled despite the terrible memory. Jumin’s mom was something special. “I’m your noona but please, be casual with me.”

“Ara it is,” he grinned.

“Zen, since this is very unexpected and I don’t know how long my relationship with him will last, could I have a picture with you?” Her hand was already reaching down to her purse. He was always down for a picture with a fan. “I’ve been to a couple of your shows, you know?”

His face brightened at that. She was the sweetest person already, and she’s the one that everyone keeps scoffing at. “What a small world,” he muttered as they moved closer so she could snap the picture. “Here, let me give you a kiss,” Zen grabbed the phone but before he could press his lips to her cheek, Ara moved away.

“No, wait! Let _me_ give you a kiss! I want your face on the picture,” she confessed with a lovely blush on her cheeks.

They posed again with her pressing a kiss to his cheek, then he turned around and did the same to her, snapping a picture of her looking genuinely surprised at the camera. “There! You get both,” he chuckled when she fumbled with her phone before staring down at the final product.

“Thank you! I can’t--”

The two looked up and met Jumin’s gaze from a few feet away, a glass of champagne on each hand and a blank expression on his face.

“Hey,” Zen greeted, brushing off the clear annoyance the other was feeling. “What took you so long?” The older man walked up and slowly handed him the drink before settling his eyes on Ara.

Clearing his throat, Jumin didn’t even blink as he stared the woman down. “I got held back by someone.”

Before Zen could say anything, Ara shoved her phone in her purse and quietly excused herself. His fingers tightened on the glass of champagne and Zen considered dumping the bubbly liquid on Jumin’s head. “Really dude?” He hissed at him quietly, avoiding getting anyone’s attention.

“Was she trying to seduce you?” The primly way he asked that made his stomach turn. What. A. Dick.

“No, she wasn’t,” he spat louder than necessary. “She’s very nice, nicer than you.”

Jumin looked off as he drank from his glass, ignoring his comment. He was being an idiot, Zen thought as he also took a drink, swallowing the entire thing in one go. Fuck this. Jumin is looking down on her just because she’s with his dad, and sure, it makes him a hypocrite when he judges the young director on painting everyone with the same brush, but this hits home. Zen hates it when people disregard others based on their economic status. It’s such an archaic way to think, who even believes that shit anymore.

“Stop flirting with everyone,” Jumin grumbled, looking at him with hooded eyes. “You’re making the fake relationship look like a joke.”

Seriously. “First of all, I wasn’t flirting,” the glass almost went flying as he waved his hands in the air. “Second of all, just because I’m a nice person doesn’t mean I’m flirting with everyone. I get that your social skills were acquired by being surrounded by old men, but that doesn’t mean everyone is down for that. Someone as unloving as you could never understand that I suppose.”

He doesn’t know how, but he noticed the comment hurt Jumin, and yes, he was being over the top with the insults, but Zen was offended at the implications. He _can_ keep it in his damn pants. In fact, he hasn’t had any intimate contact with anyone in _years_ because he isn’t some sort of crazy, thirsty motherfucker. Zen loves himself a little too much at times but he doesn’t take advantage of women or his fans who some _have_ very literally thrown themselves at him. His head is not that far up his ass, unlike Jumin.

“That was unnecessary.”

“Oh, _that_ was unnecessary? How about this Jumin, since you think I can’t keep it in my pants, I’ll move on to your sister next. And your mom after that for good measure. Hey, maybe the maids too, they already come into the room--”

Jumin reached forward and pressed his hand against Zen’s mouth to shut him up, a deep frown adorning his usually cold face. “Shut up,” he hissed as he let his hand fall. The other hand was gripping Zen’s upper arm tightly in an uncomfortable way, making him jerk back away from it.

“You didn’t like that, did you?”

“You’re a bit touchy tonight,” Jumin complained under his breath, following suit and throwing back the whole drink. It was fun to see Jumin do things like that. He was always so prim and composed, this side of him was better in his opinion. Ah, he can’t believe he called Jumin unloving right to his face.

Zen remembers the first time V asked for a photo shoot, and how the man wouldn’t stop talking about Jumin to him as if Zen gave a fuck who the guy was. Him and Rika always had this weird idea that he and Jumin would get along perfectly due to how opposite they were, but surprise surprise, that wasn’t the case. Well, now it kind of was, they were _sharing a bed_ and no one is being trialed for murder. Miracles. But yes, V once told him Jumin tends to isolate himself, that he understood that was how Jumin liked things but he also knew it wasn’t always a good thing. Now that he thinks about it, it was cute how after he officially joined the RFA, V and Rika asked him to take good care of Jumin even though he had been sort of forced to join to begin with.

It isn’t Jumin’s fault his parents split up making him grow up without his mom, being constantly surrounded by boring old men. All he knows is _business_ , it’s what he’s comfortable with, and his dad has terrible taste in women with the way he goes around ruining things just because they ask him to. Maybe it’s not that Jumin was unloving, but more the case of him not knowing exactly how to give and accept love. How to not try to put everything into a box because feelings were feelings and all the chemistry that went to it was far too complex and magical for people to understand.

Without thinking too much about what he was doing, Zen moved close and encircled his arms around Jumin with the intention to hug the man who was not expecting something like that from him. The other tried to move back but Zen didn’t let him, forcing him to accept it, everyone needs a hug every once in awhile for fuck’s sake.

“Wha--What are you doing?” Jumin sounded more astonished than angry, a good sign in Zen’s book.

“Look,” Zen began as he pulled back taking a good look of Jumin’s face, “I didn’t mean to say that. It was cruel,” the feeling of shame washing over him. Generally, being mean to Jumin wouldn’t phase him. But unloving? That was harsh. That was right down _mean_ . “You’re not unloving, you’re just… a rough, **very** uncut diamond, that’s all! Someone out there will love your anal, logical, strange mind,” at that, his hand moved up to ruffle the wavy black strands, forcing Jumin to move back a bit but not removing himself from the hug entirely.

“You’re making this worse.” Of course the comment hurt him, even a stone like this man is would be hurt by being called unloving.

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Zen would be hurt too if someone told him that. He already _knows_ he’s unloving. His parents won’t even acknowledge the fact that he’s their child, let alone call or seek him out to see how he’s doing. They didn’t when he was a _child_ , they won’t now that he’s an adult.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not a child,” the older man huffed softly before finally pulling back enough to make Zen drop his arms from around him. “I don’t care what you think.”

It was hard not to smile fondly at that. Jumin was, in every sense of the word, such a child. The way he thought, the way he talked back, even the way he joked. He could be the smartest man in the world, nothing will make Zen think otherwise. This was a grown man telling him he doesn’t care when it was obvious to him that he does.

“I’m sorry,” he echoed with a soft smile.

Their chemistry was so strange. On one moment they’re arguing and calling each other names, on the other they’re smiling and apologizing and--And Zen doesn’t know what to think. He likes it and he hates it because this is Jumin Han he’s talking about.

 

~

 

“Let’s drink more,” Jumin randomly suggested as he fixed his pristine tie. His fingers twitched as his mind immediately reminded him of how nice Zen smelled up close (here and in their bedroom), The missing weight of Zen’s arms made his body tingle and at the same time that made him feel uncomfortable. Alcohol. Alcohol was always the solution for that.

He’s never been hugged. Never as in, in a very long time, as in not often. His father wasn’t the type of person to express himself with touch, not even his mother who was constantly showering Juwon with love in the form of touches. Hugs, kisses, pats, brushes. Jumin wasn’t exposed to that. He can’t even remember the last time he was ever hugged by his father. The only person that was ever close with him in physical proximity was V. That had been rare back then as well. Casual arms around shoulders stopped somewhere in their early twenties.

“Uh, listen Mr. Alcoholic--”

“I’m not an alcoholic,” he interrupted.

Rolling his eyes Zen continued, “oh, excuse me. Mr. _low-key_ Alcoholic, I don’t think that’s a good idea. And the fact that the least smart one out of the two thinks that, is a problem.”

This was all the party’s fault. Jumin, despite being known by Zen and others as someone who will charm his way into what he wants, _loathes_ social parties. He has to put up an act of being friendly and polite (even though generally he’s friendly and polite, just not the way normal people are), and that was at times more taxing than his actual job. He’d much rather sit in his office and read and review plans for eight hours than to walk around a party and talk to people. He does it if he needs to. He _will_ do this because he _needs_ to make a good impression for his sister’s sake, but the second this is over he is going to pull his tie off, throw his feet up, and _drink_ the wine he knows is kept in the cellar.

Miraculously, at that moment his sister decided to come out from within a group of people chatting rather animatedly to the left of them. A tall, blond man was being pulled along and he almost toppled over her when she stopped abruptly to smile up at the two of them.

“Brother, Hyun! I’m so glad I finally run into you two,” she breathed heavily before turning around and grinning at who Jumin assumes is her fiance. “Charles, this is Jumin and this is his boyfriend Hyun,” she introduced them in English, but at this point Zen was aware of what was happening thanks to his mother and Charles’ mother.

“A pleasure to meet you,” Jumin shook his hand and watched Zen do the same before casually adding, “Hyun doesn’t speak English.”

“Oh, no worries, I don’t speak Korean! I suppose we’re both on the same boat.” Charles laughed and looked at the two of them, their height similar. “You two are a pair of very good looking guys,” he whistled appreciatively, causing Zen to look over at Jumin expecting him to translate. And to his surprise, he didn’t mind.

“He says we’re handsome,” not that the comment was any surprise to Zen. The musical actor instantly flashed his million dollar smile and thanked Charles with his heavily accented two English words.

Junghee covered her mouth and giggled. “Hyun, you sound _so cute_!”

Charles’ hands gravitated to his sister’s shoulders and the two stood comfortably across from them, looking like a very sweet, fun couple. “Junny told me she wanted a double date,” he began as his blue eyes moved from him to Zen like a ball at a ping pong game. “I was thinking we could go down to Santa Monica. Pacific Park is a great place for dates. I know you guys are pretty young.”

“We could go somewhere else if you’d prefer, you don’t have to accommodate.” Jumin has no idea what Santa Monica or Pacific Park are, but he doesn’t like the sound of something being chosen because of their age, particularly when both Zen and Junghee are much younger than him.

“No brother!” Junghee interrupted, her English soft and smooth, “let’s all go and have some fun! I’m already picturing all the things we’ll do. I think you’ll like it Zen!” The last part she switched it back to Korean so the younger man would understand her.

“Like what?” He asked, confused as to what they were talking about.

Junghee moved away from Charles so she could link her arm with Zen’s in a friendly gesture. “We’re going to the pier on a double date tomorrow, it’s going to be so much fun. More fun than being at the house that’s for sure.”

“Oh, sounds good!” The other replied, swiftly meeting eyes with Jumin before looking back at his sister.

Jumin has never been on a date before, and considering his first date was going to be not only fake but also along with his sister and her fiance, this was bound to get _exhausting_.

Eventually the four divided themselves in two different conversations. His sister was animatedly telling Zen what to expect on their date, and the many attractions they’ll be able to visit. Him and Charles on the other hand were talking about business. Jumin never found it interesting enough to look into the man, but it turns out that he’s a very big director in Hollywood, and he’s been in it since he was a teenager. Unlike Jumin, his job wasn’t a family business, but since his father is retired he tries to get him involved in some of the projects he’s busy with.

“Junghee explained that your job is a family business? That must’ve been tough,” he added with concern which confused Jumin.

“Not at all. I love my father’s business. I was a teenager myself when I started getting involved in it. Not officially, but eventually when I graduated from university I was able to hold my position. I’ll be entering my fifth year as an executive in a couple of months.”

The man seemed impressed, widening his eyes at him and patting his arm as if he were congratulating him. “You’re definitely as hardworking as Junny mentioned.” Junny was most likely a nickname he had for his sister, Jumin caught on. “Say, is your boyfriend a good actor?” He randomly asked peering over to Zen and Junghee.

There was a pause as he thought about the question. Jumin had no idea. He wasn’t the type of person to watch movies or enjoy that sort of thing, so he didn’t know whether he was a good actor or not. But a lot of people enjoy watching Zen sing and dance on a stage, so that must mean he’s good at what he does. “I would think so. Why?”

“He’s _very_ beautiful. I’ve never seen a face like his, and with his height… He could make it big with the right project, I know a couple of--”

“I don’t think so,” Jumin chimed in, interrupting the man and surprising him by his momentary lack of refinement. “Hyun isn’t the type of person to accept help from others. Trust me, I’ve tried for _years_.”

Charles laughed at that, moving to touch his arm again. Everyone was acting a bit too touchy for his taste, but he supposes this was another culture and a whole other set of mannerisms. “Your sister mentioned he’s worked for your company.” A true statement, but it wasn’t because Zen randomly decided to stop discriminating against Jumin. The two had to have a very strange yet pleasant talk for the other to finally start accepting the job offers Jumin thought he was ideal for.

“Yes, but like I said, it took me years. Eventually I got him to agree.” His dark eyes traveled to Zen’s face and he stared for a bit, thinking back on everything he’s thought about that could help the younger man propel his career into something amazing. “To be honest, there’s many things he could’ve done by now that would’ve made him a big name in Korea, and possibly many other countries. But the man is _stubborn_.”

And now that his mind is strolling along those thoughts, Jumin wonders if Zen is afraid of becoming a big name. There’s been multiple times when something happens with his career and the younger man reacts in an incredible negative way. Besides, there’s no doubt to Jumin that Zen hates money, lots of it. Maybe there’s also the fact that he would feel uncomfortable having too much money? There’s something about Zen that Jumin can’t put his finger on, and that drives him up a wall because he likes to know things, he likes predictability, he enjoys being able to read others and know what’s to come. With Hyun Ryu, Jumin has a hard time understanding things.

“And yet you love him! But I completely understand you. Junghee is the stubborn one between the two,” Charles chuckled again. “I just do what she asks me to do. But I have to say, your family was blessed with a very creative mind, I envy her sometimes. She’s both the joy of my life and the reason I like to push myself harder.”

Jumin’s eyes lingered on Zen’s face, then dropped as the other turned to glance over. “Of course,” he muttered. He isn’t able to comprehend what the other means because Jumin and Zen aren’t together nor will they ever be. But he supposes anyone would say that yes, he loves Zen as much as he loves the rest of the RFA and he’d do anything to help each and every one of them as long as it’s within his abilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some thoughts are I wrote the story:
> 
> 1\. ZEN WOULD TOTALLY OFFER A BITE OF HIS ICE CREAM BECAUSE HE'S THAT TYPE OF BOYFRIEND fight me. AND JUMIN WOULD TOTALLY TAKE THE BITE BAHAHAA they're both idiots.
> 
> 2\. This chapter was very much a bridge to the parts where they'll really have to crank up the whole boyfriend act, and I can't WAIT to have y'all read that hahahaha I have so many scenes already written out.
> 
> 3\. There's a reason Jumin's mom is taken by Zen in a special way, and there's also a reason Jumin's dad is acting like a royal dick, no worries, you'll find out! Please don't hate either of them! (or do, I'm not your boss you can do whatever you want lol).
> 
> 4\. Do understand that in this setting the two of them are surrounded by people that don't know them well enough, and in a house that belongs to neither. They're each others' familiar feeling and that's why they easily gravitate to one another. Jumin is with his real family, but Zen is part of his other family, the one he interacts with on a daily basis.
> 
> 5\. Jumin's alcoholic tendencies are showing strongly lmao and I feel sorry for him because all he has is Hyun 'I drink beer for breakfast' Ryu. May the gods watch over their stupid decisions.
> 
> 6\. Jumin would (unknowingly) fall faster than Zen mostly because 1) he's never been in love or in an intimate relationship with anyone before, 2) it's obvious Zen is a weakness for him. I don't doubt for a second there's a reason Rika and V wanted them to meet.
> 
> 7\. We know V would photograph Zen, and by following him around is how he was able to save his life after the motorcycle accident. Well, I figured I'd throw in some headcanons because why not. V would TOTALLY ask Zen to take care of Jumin, his dear best friend <3 
> 
> ANYWAY I just wanted to give a glimpse of what goes on in my head when I write this shit. See you next time! AND I JUST WANT TO THANK THE REVIEWERS AND THE KUDOERS, you guys are the MVPs <3


	6. When Zen and Jumin go on a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sensitive stomach and a realization.

DAY 4

* * *

 

The morning of the next day wasn’t as bad as the previous. For one, Jumin got to sleep like a normal person the entire night, letting Zen not only get enough sleep but also skip camping on the couch (something that wouldn’t have been a problem, he’s slept in worse places). Second, this double date business that’s still somewhat unknown to him, because he doesn’t speak English and the Han family likes to go off on tangents, puts him in a great mood. Sure, his date is very unfortunately Jumin himself, but it means they aren’t going to be stuck in the house all day. For now him and Junghee were standing in the kitchen sipping on some mixed coffee drink she wanted him to try with her.

“Charles loved you,” she gushed as she set her mug down in an effort to not spill the hot liquid from the excitement. “I knew he would.”

“Oh yeah,” he muttered as he leaned over on the counter with a half smile. “Weird considering neither of us could communicate with each other.” It was a joke, but he knew Junghee meant his looks. _Everyone_ always loves his looks, that’s just how things are. Everyone except for Jumin that is, he’s the least important one though.

The young Han stared at him for a moment, there was some sort of shine in her eyes that distracted him from anything else going around them. The maids, the cooking happening behind him, it all seemed to disappear as he stared into her very _very_ familiar eyes.

“You should stay in America.”

Zen brought the mug up to his mouth and watched her until she decided to elaborate.

“Charles could make you a big star,” she shared as her smile grew with mischief. “You’re so beautiful and your acting is incredible--”

“How exactly do you know that?” He quipped as his brows twitched down in a frown.

“I might or might not have Noogled your name and nagged my brother to get me the clips he looked at before hiring you as the face of father’s company.”

The hell. When did that happen!? Zen’s mouth fell open as he tried to figure out when her and Jumin talked about this, let alone share this information between them. Sneaky little shits, the both of them. What right does CEO-in-line thinks he has to go around showing people public clips and videos that anyone could find in the internet if they looked hard enough? Certainly not Zen’s unneeded verbal permission, that’s for sure!

Noticing his distress, Junghee reached over and grabbed of his hands between her much smaller ones. “Don’t be angry at him, please!” Now she defends him. “To be honest I think the only reason he shared those videos with me is because he wanted to show you off to Charles,” the confession colored her cheeks as much as it confused him.

Why would Jumin want to show him off? It made no sense. “I highly doubt that,” he dismissed her thought, “and even if that were the case, I don’t understand why you or him would want to see them.”

And how exactly does that--Oh. Of course. This was Jumin trying to butt in on his life, like he always does. Trying to get him to sign deals he isn’t interested in, because they come from a place where Zen has the advantage of knowing the right people.

“Did you already forget that Charles is a director? He knows people, if only acting is not what you want to do he could still fin--”

Shaking his head, Zen laughed incredulously. “Oh no, not this,” the maids behind them turned and giggled at his outburst. “Let me guess, Jumin talked to him about offering me jobs or something like that?” It wasn’t intended but some of the disgust he feels about that sort of thing slipped by.

Junghee was taken aback by his reaction causing her to blink rapidly as she wrapped her head around what was going on. “Does that upset you?” She asked. “He actually told Charles _not_ to do it, but I didn’t know he said that because you’d be upset.” The Han sister was being apologetic and Zen felt like an asshole. The girl has no idea what grinds his gears and this certainly wasn’t her fault.

Actually, it seemed this wasn’t anyone’s fault. He almost can’t believe Jumin told Charles to keep his offers to himself. That was--That was very thoughtful coming from the older man. Narrowing his eyes, Zen couldn’t stop himself from wondering if this was some sort of strategy to get him to agree to his own suggestions. Ugh. He was looking too far into something so small but at the same time the fact that Jumin had been considering was totally off. There’s nothing considering about trust fund kid. It was always his way or the highway.

The difference between Zen’s own way or the highway is that it only pertained to work. Jumin’s personal policy applied to everything surrounding his life (with the exception of his dad). In a way that made a lot of sense, he had the privilege to do that all throughout his life. Man, Zen remembers the days when stealing was the only choice he had if he wanted to eat that day. Or intimidating people into giving him money. A shiver ran through him at the thought of those days he doesn’t necessarily feel very proud of.

“You should move to America!” Junghee randomly bursted out as he began to fall deep in his thoughts, startling him.

“Ah, yeah, I’m fine being in Korea.”

The younger girl laughed and he didn’t understand why. “Charles could get you a visa and he’d make you a household name. Trust me. You and Jumin can visit each other, spend time off together… you don’t have to be apart all the time.”

“Or,” a third voice interjected, “he could come back with me and no one would need to visit anybody.” Jumin approached them and went straight for the coffee without greeting them properly. His sister opened her mouth but whatever she was going to say died in her throat as her eyes scanned what Jumin was wearing.

“You can’t be serious,” Zen finally said it as he tried to keep himself from laughing. The guy was in his three piece suit and he kind of wanted to keep quiet just to see him suffer later on their date.

Turning around, Jumin met his eyes with a frown, causing Junghee to burst out laughing. “Oh my God, Jumin… Are you really wearing that to our double date?” Her tone was so incredulous it almost came out sarcastic. If she knew her brother better she’d know that sarcastic would’ve fit better. Because yes, the man was wearing that to their double date. To a pier with roller coasters and games, and greasy food.

“Yes,” Jumin echoed Zen’s thoughts, making the whole thing seem so endearing, “is there a problem with what I’m wearing?”

Zen palmed his face. “He’s asking if there’s a problem with what he’s wearing,” he whispered to himself while wondering why he finds it unbelievable to begin with. “I don’t think you want to wear that,” this was much louder and clearer.

“But I do.” The argument was seriously going to take them nowhere. It was impossible to banter this way with him because the man will only take things literally.

“Alright babe, let me make this easier for you,” Zen cleared his throat at the realization that he made zero effort to call Jumin babe, “you _shouldn’t_ wear that to our double date. Trust me.”

Jumin’s face was blank, but the way his eyelids lowered made Zen think he was about to crack one of his stupid jokes. “Then what am I wearing? Your clothes?”

“Yeah, why not,” he replied a little too fast with a mischievous grin. “We’re about the same size and height.”

The young girl watched them go back and forth until she had enough of their bickering. “It’s either Hyun’s clothes or Juwon’s.” It makes him happy that Junghee didn’t suggest shopping for her older brother. Buying clothes he’d never wear again was just silly.

He could see in Jumin’s inexpressive face that the idea of wearing his young brother’s baggy shirts and skinny jeans wasn’t going to fly with him. So after a moment of staring, Jumin put his cup down and motioned Zen to follow him back to the bedroom so he could change.

“I don’t understand why I have to change clothes,” the older man complained under his breath as he waited for Zen to get him the ones he was going to change into.

Zen looked through his clothes and pulled out a light grey casual button down shirt, and after eyeing Jumin’s body, he decided that the man didn’t need to change his pants. It was pretty hot outside, wearing a jacket was just asking for trouble.

“Here, wear only this along with your pants and I think you’ll be fine. The shoes might be a problem but, well, nothing we can do about that.” There was no indication whether the young director had an objection to the top he was handed, so Zen smiled and shook his head. “It’s going to be hot Jumin, do you want to get a heatstroke?”

“Hm,” the other hummed as he began to remove his jacket even though Zen hadn’t made a move to leave yet. “If you wanted me to wear your clothes, all you had to do was ask,” he commented, making Zen choke on his saliva.

As he began to walk by him to leave the room, Zen snatched the shirt away from Jumin and said, “on the other hand, I’ll just let you suffer.” Jumin’s laugh behind him flustered him a bit, so in order to hide it he threw the shirt back, smacking the older man in the face.

What was it with that man? Zen leaned back on the door and shook his head in frustration.

Before Jumin could open the door and Zen could embarrass himself, he pushed himself forward as it swung open. When he turned around he didn’t expect to be taken as much as he did by the older man wearing his clothes. His shirt. It’s a beloved shirt too. The slightly open neck showed off Zen’s sharp collarbones perfectly, along with the long line of his neck. It looked less polished on Jumin who had smaller shoulders, but to his dismay it still made him look good.

“Are you satisfied now?” He asked Zen dismissively. “Can everyone stop nitpicking everything?”

Zen’s mouth opened to reply, but he didn’t really know what to say. What does he say to Jumin wearing his shirt? More importantly, _why_ does it matter so much? It’s _just a shirt_.

“Looks good enough, not as good as it looks on me but,” he shrugged nonchalantly, his attempt to hide whatever just happened inside his head. Jumin simply aimed him a look before walking past him out of the bedroom.

Sighing, Zen closed his eyes and breathed in deeply as he pressed the back of his hand against his forehead. He might be getting sick for the first time in his life. This was going to be a long day.

The three met Charles at the pier at around noon, the man appropriately dressed sporting shorts and a short sleeve shirt unlike freaking Jumin--But that was his own problem and Zen needed to stop worrying about him constantly. He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself.

Going up to Santa Monica pier was more of a sight than to be standing on it, to be honest. Zen wasn’t entirely impressed (and neither was Jumin), Junghee did explain to them that it wasn’t about how it looked but more about the experiences and the nostalgia of the place. Not that either of them could relate, she’s the one that grew up in this city. Regardless, the place reminded him of carnivals and he always wanted to attend one.

Jumin must have noticed the unmasked anticipation because he turned to look at him when his sister ran up to her fiance to greet him lovingly. “You’re actually excited for this,” he teased blandly, as if that would embarrass Zen somehow.

“I’ve never been to something like this,” Zen shared even though it was none of Jumin’s business. He’s never been one to shy away from his past when it came to sharing stuff about himself with others, but the thought of Jumin judging every little thing about his life had always held him back from doing so with the man. This trip has changed that. Zen feels somewhat closer to Jumin even if the other doesn’t feel the same way. There was so much he was learning about him, his private life, his family. It’d be hard not to feel closer to him.

Smiling, Zen met Jumin’s eyes and said, “I’ve been to roller coasters and eaten street food, but I’ve never been to a fair.”

“I’ve never done any of that…”

“Seriously?” As annoying as it was for Jumin to aim those pointed looks at him, Zen can’t blame him on this one. Of course Jumin has never done any of that stuff, why the hell did he act surprised. Zen rolled his eyes and glanced over at the ferris wheel. “There’s a first time for everything. I’m going to make you eat all the food we walk by.” Sometimes he gets frustrated with the older man whenever he talks about his lack of knowledge about this or that ‘commoner’ food. It’s about time that gets fixed. How can anyone live without trying tteokbokki, hotteok, or mandu for that matter. The list goes on and on. Simple things that he can bet even Jumin’s own mom has tried before.

“Excuse you,” Jimin muttered as he looked away from Zen.

Zen laughed and smacked the older man’s arm in a friendly way. “Oh, come on! Try things with me. Let’s have this experience together.” It was weird to say something like that, especially when it was Jumin he was saying it to, but despite the earlier weird moment, Zen felt good today, might be a bit _sick_ , but good.

When Jumin didn’t say anything, Zen followed his eyes and watched Junghee discuss something with Charles before they began to walk their way. “Hey, we might have to step things up.” It was an uncomfortable thought, but he agreed to this. And let’s face it, it was just like acting so this wasn’t that big of a deal. Jumin was a pain in his ass but other than that Zen could pretend to be the best lover the other man could ever have.

“Why do you think so?” The other asked but underneath the question Zen could hear understanding. He knew exactly why. This was a _date_ , a _double date_ at that. They’re going to have to do romantic things at some point, maybe hold hands or something. “I can do it. Maybe I’m as good of an actor as you,” Jumin smirked but Zen couldn’t do anything else but laugh at the challenge.

“Ah, you wish,” he chuckled and waved at Charles who waved back.

Junghee was suddenly pulled close by her fiance and they all turned towards their destination. “Sorry about that, we were trying to figure out what to do so we wouldn’t have to wander around too much.”

“The place isn’t very big,” Zen added before turning to Jumin so he could translate his words for Charles. As if their minds were connected, the trust fund kid did as Zen silently asked him to do and that made him smile even more. Well well, it seemed they could get along nicely if only they tried. The rest of the RFA will be happy to hear they can go more than a few minutes without an argument.

“You are correct. There’s the small amusement park area, then the street vendors, a couple of restaurants, of course the ferris wheel. I was thinking we could come back after dinner to enjoy the sunset,” Charles chimed in English and Junghee then translated that.

Because this was something he’s never done before, Zen decided to take a bit of time and take pictures of himself with the pier as his background. He moved around until he found the perfect spot with the best lightning, and when he brought his phone down, Junghee got close and extended her hand to him, asking for his phone.

“Let me take a picture of you two,” she said sweetly, waving at her older brother to move closer and in the spot she noticed Zen liked the best.

The two met eyes before unanimously deciding to go along with it and pretend they wanted the picture together. Giving his best smile, Zen watched her take two different pictures and then lower the phone to stare at her brother.

“Jumin, this is the part where you smile…”

After Jumin stopped being a tight ass and cracked a smile, they stood so close their sides were flushed together. He didn’t mind the closeness, it could be because he’s always feeling lonely or because at the end of the day Jumin isn’t as bad as he makes him sound, but he _likes_ it. They’ve been spending enormous amounts of time together that Zen no longer finds it weird to be so close him. He now takes so many things into consideration, like for example, are they going to sleep comfortably? Then it doesn’t matter if they share a bed. It’s funny how devastated he had been about the trip. He thought he’d hate being with Jumin so much, turns out the more time they spend together the less they argue. Go figure!

“Good,” Junghee cheered and handed Zen his phone back. “Now Jumin, give me yours,” his sister took it from him after he slowly pulled it out of his pocket, snapping a couple of more pictures for them.

Zen looked through the pictures as soon as they were done just to see what they looked like. They weren’t doing anything over the top so they were basically pictures of two friends. He did however like the picture. Jumin might have given his sister a hard time with the smile, but he looked happy in it. The fact that he slept the whole night was a good indication. It’s funny. He knows things about Jumin that he doesn’t know whether he’s okay knowing but at the same time makes him feel somewhat special. The way he moves around in his sleep when he’s stressed, or the way his eyes soften as he gets lost in thought. Does Jumin know things about him? Probably not. The guy was too busy thinking about himself that he never really notices things about others unless they’re shoved in his face. Let’s be real here, he _finally_ stopped trying to push his damn cat on him.

HIs phone vibrated on his hand and when he looked down to see what it was he realized Jumin has sent everyone a message on the RFA app.

 **Jumin Han:** [attached photo]

 **707:** omg… is that…

 **Jaehee Kang:** I see you two are having a good time

 **707:** a… PICTURE THAT ISN’T BLURRY????

 **MC:** Jaehee you mean they aren’t trying to kill each other right? XD

 **Jaehee Kang:** No, I genuinely meant what I said. I’m happy both Zen and Mr. Han can have a good time.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I mean Jumin*

 **707:** why am i the only one surprised here? This man can’t ever hold the phone steady even when his cat sleeps

 **Jumin Han:** My sister took the picture for us

 **ZEN:** wtf, why did you upload the picture

 **MC:** love, it’s because we can ALL tell he didn’t take the picture...

 **707:** ohohoho was it supposed to be a private picture?  >w>

 **Yoosung:** Aw you guys, I’m glad you’re having fun :) I wish I could’ve gone ;_;

 **Jumin Han:** To my sister’s wedding? But you don’t know her.

Zen looked up from his phone and eyed the older man. “Why did you share the picture?” He’d think Jumin would want to keep everything on the down low considering their _little lie_. Jumin turned around and shrugged, promptly ending all of his curiosity. Who knew why the trust fund kid did what he did.

 **Yoosung:** I meant the trip, not the wedding :)

 **Jumin Han:** She’s doing great.

 **ZEN:** She loves me lol more than Jumin

The older man scoffed and Zen aimed a mischievous smile at him. “What?” He asked him casually. “She does.”

“Who does what?” Junghee asked when she noticed they weren’t following her and Charles.

Before Jumin could stop him from saying anything, Zen moved forward and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “You love me more than Jumin,” he teased with wink for her to follow along.

“Well…” She did, showing her tongue at Jumin who didn’t appear to find the situation funny at all. “I love you both equally. I know as much about you as I do my brother. And Brother, can we please stay in contact? I don’t want us to act like we’re strangers to each other anymore.”

“Of course,” the other replied with a small, captivating smile.

Not entirely sure why, Zen felt himself warm at the interactions between the two siblings. This is what Jumin lives for, he thinks, the whole family thing. It was cute to see it happen, and he can’t help being a little jealous. Maybe his life would’ve been different if he had more siblings, or if his older brother had been an older sister instead. _Or_ , he thought bitterly, things would’ve ended up the same way because he’s unwanted, a thing that his own parents discarded as if he wasn’t a living, breathing person.

So maybe he wasn’t _unwanted_ , but let’s be real, most of the people that want to date him only want Zen for his looks, his voice, and his amazing body. No one cares to learn about Hyun, the person behind the stage name. The one that finds himself in a blue mood every once in awhile, the one that thinks about cigarettes more often than he should, the one that occasionally at times thinks nothing is worth it anymore, the one that says fuck it he can have a beer for breakfast if he feels like it because he’s a grown ass adult and no one tells him how to live his life.

“Come on,” a hand suddenly grabbed his and Zen snapped out of his thoughts by Jumin pulling him along to wherever they were heading.

“I’m surprised you’re the one reaching for my hand all the time,” he said as they made their way through the crows, the smell of food filling the air around them. That’s what they were going to do first which he totally agrees because him and Junghee munched _only_ on fruit that morning since no one was there to have a family breakfast.

“It’s not so bad,” Jumin confessed after a moment. “I’ve never done it before.”

 _Oh my God_ , Zen thought. That’s true! Jumin was an everything-regarding-relationships virgin. “If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask,” he joked back, echoing what the other said to him earlier to which Jumin simply turned back and smirked.

“I didn’t know I had to ask my boyfriend to hold his hand.”

Sputtering, Zen was going to argue that he meant the joke in general and not while they pretended to be boyfriends but he ended up dropping it. Zen blushed, feeling annoyed at Jumin’s ability to get a step ahead every time.

“I want one of those corn dogs, they look good.” Junghee pointed at a food stand while speaking English, so Zen looked over and blinked at the strange food.

The opportunity arose and Zen took it by wrapping his arm around Jumin’s waist, pulling him close. “Babe, I’m going to get you one of everything and you will eat them all. It’s time to educate you in street food.”

Jumin shook his head with a frown. “No thank you,” he muttered but Zen was going to insist.

“Why? Are you too delicate for street food?” His tone was condescending but he wanted the other to fall for his challenge. Jumin liked arguing with him, he’d fight back as long as he has to until he wins said arguments. The older man did win most of the time, but at this point Zen stopped keeping scores because of how much he enjoys their bickering deep down.

As he predicted, the other reached back and pulled his wallet out so he could hand him a credit card. “Fine, I’ll try whatever you buy for me.”

In the midst of internally cheering for the success of his teasing, Zen grabbed the card from the other’s hand and reached over to pull Jumin’s head close by his neck. He stopped right before he could kiss the side of his face. The almost action made him freeze and he couldn’t play it off as something else, so the two stood awkwardly until he slowly dropped his hand and walked away.

There had been a look of horror in Jumin’s face, he recalled as he walked up to the line. The guy probably thought he was going to get kissed on the lips, which Zen _would never_ do. But Jesus, this was getting weird. Being so close, having to pretend to _be_ close, it was clearly getting to Zen’s head. He’s an extremely affectionate person and even though this is Jumin Han and their relationship is fake, Zen wants to default to how he is in real relationships. Unconsciously of course.

There was a funny moment where the vendor had to figure out what he was asking for by Zen pointing at things (he should’ve just asked Jumin to do this), then he returned with two of the treats, corn dogs as Junghee announced while taking a bite out of hers, feeling less awkward about what happened. Him and Jumin avoided each other’s eyes as they took the first bite into their American treat. It was… delicious. No the most flavorful, but it had the mix of sweet and savory that he enjoyed so much he immediately took another bite even though it was still too hot to eat.

“Do you like it?” The Han sister asked him and he nodded enthusiastically. “Let’s get funnel cakes after this!” She added, pleased with his response.

“What are funnel cakes?” Zen had never seen her eyes brighten up as much as when he asked the question. Not even her dad being present at the house made her seem so excited.

“I can’t wait for you and my brother to try it!”

Jumin handed him the wooden stick as soon as he was done with his treat, raising an eyebrow at it and letting Zen know with an attitude that he did it, he ate the entire thing. Mr. CEO-in-line can seem smug all he wants. Let’s see how it all goes down with these funnel cakes his sister talks about. He threw the trash as they waited for Junghee to get them the oh so amazing cakes.

“Were you going to kiss me?” Jumin asked out of the blue. Zen glanced over at Charles who was completely oblivious to the conversation. “Because if you were--”

“I wasn’t!” The words came out more flustered than Zen wanted them to but just the thought of them kissing--it flustered him and he didn’t want to be flustered this much, ever. It’s been too much flustering all day.

The conversation died there mostly because Jumin’s sister came back holding two plates full of something that smelled amazing. The plates were divided between the pairs, and it was funny to see Charles act just as excited about it when Junghee brought theirs up to him so he could grab a fork.

“I feel like I should’ve taken pictures of these new things I’m trying for the first time.” He had already taken a big chunk of it with his fork while Jumin stared at it with judging eyes. His fans would’ve loved sharing this moment with him.

There was whip cream and strawberries on top which made it look incredibly. As soon as he took the bite, his eyes widened and he met Junghee’s awaiting ones with glee. “Mmm,” he hummed softly as he chewed. “Try it,” Zen took another piece of the cake with a bit of the toppings on it and brought it up to Jumin’s lips, wondering if it’d be like with the ice cream. The young director stared at it questionably, which reminded him that this was something the other wouldn’t necessarily like. The point was to try it though, he doesn’t have to like it. “Give it a taste, it’s not as sweet as it looks, actually. I’m surprised!” He expected to get punched in the face with the sweetness.

As he anticipated, Zen’s stomach flopped about when Jumin dropped his defensiveness and took the bite being offered to him.

They spent the next twenty minutes eating and laughing (with the exception of Jumin who didn’t hold back on his criticism of the cake). Despite not being able to communicate with him, Charles didn’t hold back on talking to him and relying on Junghee to translate everything between them. These people were not what Zen had expected when he first heard of the trip. Junghee is so not like Jumin; nice and humble, always happy and cheery not to mention incredibly smart, which is not to say that the older man isn’t smart but for the love of God the man believes in vampires.

At some point Zen spotted games that one could play to get prizes and he challenged Jumin on one where they had to throw rings on bottles. The other refused to engage with him, so Zen turned to Charles who took him in. They laughed as both tried to get as many bottles to win a cute plushie. There were bears, cats, and dogs, and when he won he got the dog and handed it to Jumin just to spite him. More games followed but this time Junghee was the one challenging him, frustrated with the way he won them all.

He ended up with dozens of the prizes, and two small children were staring at him in awe. It was so cute he couldn’t resist handing them a plushie each. The two thanked him in English and ran off to their parents, his eyes following them until they disappeared into the crowd. Kids were so adorable. Junghee watched him and then began to call kids over to hand them the rest of the plushies, surprising Zen. It was _cute_ how genuinely nice she was. Zen glanced at Jumin who was talking with Charles and smiled to himself. Jumin was also like that, no matter how much of an idiot he was with words, the guy was nice. Anytime the RFA is in some sort of trouble he always steps in to help in whatever way he can. Jumin might seem mean in his own weird, special way, but he was nice nonetheless.

Zen was so distracted by his thoughts of the older man that he forgot he was staring and Jumin met his eyes awkwardly. Charles then looked over too, probably out of distraction from their conversation and Zen did the only thing he could think of doing to not make things weird. He blew the young director a kiss.

What is wrong with him. Stepping away from whatever that was, Zen turned back to what him and Junghee were doing and blinked away the weirdness.

 _How_ , he began to argue in his head, _is anyone going to think it’s weird between them when they believe the two are in a romantic relationship?_ And a kiss, really? And the thing with feeding Jumin. This would be a great time for a cigarette, a beer, anything to make him feel more him and less… less whatever this weird Hyun Ryu is.

“Everything okay?” Junghee turns, a cute pink kitty plush held tightly in her arms. “I hope you’re having fun.” She would like fucking cats just ilke Jumin. ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ were her words after all.

“Yeah!” It wasn’t his intention to dampen the mood, let alone make her think he wasn’t having a good time. “This is a great double date,” he smiled while he tied the feet of the dog he got for Jumin around his neck so he wouldn’t have to carry it around in his arms. “I’m experiencing lots of new things, it’s exciting. Thank you for suggesting it!”

“I’m glad you liked it! If we don’t get to do a lot while you’re here, now you have an excuse to come back and experience more things!” She giggled at his questioning look. “To visit me, silly!”

“I’ll visit you anytime you want me to,” he said, words laced with affection.

“Are you two done? Charles is hungry for actual food,” Jumin appeared out of the blue, as he always does, but this time with an attitude to boot.

Zen rolled his eyes at him. Whatever his problem was he could get over it on his own. “Yeah, yeah. We kept these two,” he grabbed one of the plushie’s soft paws that was hanging around his neck and waved it at the other before moving to bop Jumin’s nose with it. “Why the attitude?”

Jumin didn’t move away from the offensive attack on his nose, but he did meet Zen’s eyes and it rendered him speechless.

He didn’t want to let his mind wander down that road, but Jumin… Jumin was very attractive. Zen didn’t know if he’s beginning to see that because of Junghee and how alike they are, but whatever the reason was, he wanted it to go away. It was confusing as hell. On one hand he wanted to punch the face, on the other he wanted to--He wanted to what?

Feed him more food. Which he did when they were sitting at a restaurant in the pier sharing a shake and eating a burger and fries. Each time Jumin took a sip of the creamy, sugary drink, Zen would pick up a fry and hold it up to his face only to have Jumin look at him and eat it right out of his fingers. Clearly this was a game they were playing, no doubt that was what Jumin was thinking as their eyes met every time. But to Zen this was a test, he needed to understand why he kept feeling these urges.

“You keep feeding me french fries,” Jumin stated the obvious after a moment, “but I don’t want anymore french fries. So please stop.” At that moment Zen brought one up again and Jumin ate it, making him laugh.

“If you don’t want anymore, don’t eat them!”

Looking down, Jumin set his fork and knife on the small plate (because the man couldn’t eat a burger like a normal person) and blushed. _Blushed_. Zen’s throat went dry. “I get the urge to eat them if you feed them to me.”

Zen blushed as much as the other, because what else would he do, and rubbed the salt off his fingers so he could bring his arms down to his lap.

“You guys,” Junghee breathed out, “this isn’t Korea, here nobody cares if you’re a couple. Relax.”

The two simply glanced at each other, both silent as a mouse.

  
~

 

The day has been so strange. From the moment he woke up to find Zen missing (which shouldn’t have been out of the ordinary), to the moment he is certain that the other was going to kiss him, to the lunch they had in which the younger man proceeded to feed him food for some unfathomable reason. And it’s not the fact that Zen wasn’t there, or that he wanted to feed Jumin french fries what made the day strange. It was Jumin’s slow pull at the back of his mind, the way his chest would feel at the thought of him not being here in the trip with him, of all of this being some weird dream. It was the light burning desire he has for the musical actor to keep acting that way with him, almost affectionate.

Unselfishly wanting Jumin to experience new things, or making him change because he would’ve had a bad time otherwise. They’re such simple things but they were so new to Jumin. He’s never been this close with anyone other than V, and his connection with V was completely different. His best friend never pushed him in a direction Jumin didn’t want to go. Him and V were closer but less informal, they also knew each other deeply--Or so he thought. That’s besides the point.

His bond with Zen is being shaped by what seems to be rules and laws from another planet. There’s no distress between them when they have to be close and personal, there’s no underlying unpleasant feeling from their bickering and their teasing. V rarely acted that way, both were very reserved and logical in most cases, cool like water. Zen was more like fire. No. He’s an electric charge. Whenever their skin touches Jumin thinks he sees it, sparkling up, the tingling sensation afterwards, when Zen looks at him, when Zen smiles at him.

Zen pushes him, pushes and pushes and Jumin finds himself going along with the pushing in the direction that the other wants him to go.

“Hey,” Zen pulled him close and brought him back to reality. Both Charles and his sister were staring at him with matching confusion. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he lied. He didn’t feel okay. Something was wrong.

Frowning, Zen turned his head to him and said, “are you sure? You don’t have to get on the roller coaster if you don’t feel like it, Jumin.” The four were now in line for a rollercoaster. Jumin’s never been on one but he knows about them.

There he goes again with his consideration, with his ‘you don’t _have_ to do things, Jumin’ that he _really_ likes, he’s come to realize. Jumin likes being told that because most of the time, most of his life has been about doing what others expect him to do. It was _suffocating_ . To be _so free_ around Zen. Reaching up, Jumin tried to loosen the neck of his shirt but he remembered he wasn’t wearing his usual getup.

He was wearing Zen’s shirt.

 _Dammit_.

“It’s fine.”

When it was finally their turn, Jumin followed the other along and watched the younger man secure the bar in front of them as if that was enough to keep them safe flying about in the air. Logically, yes it was enough since that’s how everyone remains alive after the ride is over, but his unreasonable side likes to come out and opinionate when he’s dealing with new situations. Which isn’t very often.

“If you get scared you can hold my hand, I’ll allow you,” Zen teased him.

Jumin grimaced as he looked around them. This wasn’t going to be fun. “You allow me anything I ask for anytime I want it, who are you trying to kid.”

Zen blinked at him in shock, and then his face slowly transformed into one of horror. “My God, you’re so right… Wait, no I don’t!”

He was going to argue back but the car shifted rather strongly and the two began to move forward. Jumin’s ridden helicopters, he’s stayed at pretty high hotels, but he’s never flung about in the air on a metal structure, being held back with a simple metal bar. Before he knew it his body was being jerked from side to side as they went up, down, sideways, and at some point he did follow up on Zen’s offer and reached for him. The only sane thing going through his head the entire ride was that he hoped the younger man wouldn’t get a bruise on his thigh from how tightly he was gripping it.

When it was over his head snapped back and he felt a cold shiver run down his body, drying his throat and making him feel lightheaded. Overwhelmed by what was happening, Jumin let Zen guide him off the thing and down the platform to wait for his sister and Charles.

“So? What did you think?” The other asked him sheepishly but Jumin was too busy trying to figure out what was happening to answer and notice how cute the other looked with his hair wiped by the wind.

“I need--” Jumin franctly turned around and flung himself to the first trashcan he spotted to empty his stomach in it. He’s never felt this sick in his life, not even the mornings after he’s drank excessively.

“Oh shit, dude!” Zen approached him from behind, placing a hand on his back as Jumin gripped the edges of the container. Somewhere behind them a person walked by and yelled ‘Let it out darling, it’ll make you feel better afterwards’ but the younger man was completely oblivious to it as he not only focused all of his attention to Jumin, but also his lack of understanding of English.

Panting, Jumin realized he had his face shoved in the most disgusting thing he could’ve ever shoved his face in and backed out immediately, using Zen’s shirt to clean his face. “I--”

“Oh no, what’s happening!?” Junghee jogged up to them and looked at Jumin with concern. “Are you okay, Brother?”

Zen shook his head for him and said, “he got sick from the ride. I’m going go get him water,” then jogged away after looking at him in concern.

“Love,” his sister said to her fiance once he caught up to them, “can you get medicine for Jumin? He got sick from the ride, the food we had, or both.” The man nodded and turned away to go the general direction Zen left.

His head was throbbing and his stomach felt like turning at the faint smell of fried food. When the musical actor got back, he was handed a water bottle and he walked away from them to wash out his mouth and clean his face some more. After a few gulps of the water, Jumin stood by the railing and stared off at the beach in annoyance. All this was meant to be was a ‘fun’ day, and here he was ruining everything by getting sick. He _never_ gets this sick, Jumin can’t remember the last time he ever threw up probably because it happened when he was a small child.

“Put this on,” Zen spoke from behind him then walked around to hand him a tshirt that read ‘I <3 L.A.’. “I bought it last minute when I went to get you water. I figured your pompous ass wouldn’t want to walk around wearing a dirty shirt.”

Blinking at the obnoxiously colored tshirt, Jumin had to mentally agree that yes, Zen was correct, he wouldn’t want to walk around with puke on his shirt. Speaking of. “Sorry about your shirt.”

The other shrugged and gave him a half smile. “I can get another one. Not a big deal dude.” His comment did prompt Zen to eye him in concern more than his sickness. “Jumin, if you don’t feel good we can go back to the house.”

Instead of answering, Jumin pulled the shirt off right there where he was standing and switched it with the new one he was handed. He has his face deep in a trashcan on the side of the pier, it wouldn’t matter if anyone saw him without clothes. Plus, this was a pier anyway, there were countless people walking around in swimsuits.

Zen hopped on the railing behind him, making himself about two heads taller than both of them. They were waiting for Charles to come back, and Junghee was on her phone looking up how to calm down an upset stomach for him, which he thought was very logical and… sweet. It bothered him that his sister had to pause all the fun she was having all because he couldn’t handle street food, or a roller coaster that apparently wasn’t as big and scary as some others he’s seen.

“You look like shit,” Zen very lovingly announced, long, slim fingers beckoning him to move closer. When Jumin did (because he didn’t feel like arguing), the younger man turned him around and roughly pulled him so he could lean against his body and between his perched legs. “Hey, don’t feel bad, this could happen to anyone.”

Junghee nodded wildly as she looked up from her phone to smile softly at him. “That’s right, Brother. I’ve gotten very sick from eating food before.”

“I’ve never actually been sick like that before, but I can imagine how terrible it must feel.”

Warm fingers brushed against his neck as Zen began to massage his shoulders. Jumin blinked in unexcited surprise at the gesture. He could tell the other was doing it unconsciously because his sister wasn’t looking at them anymore. “What are you doing?” He asked him while leaning his head back to look up at the other. He knows Jumin hates to be touched, not that Jumin can say anything when he isn’t moving away from said touching.

“Just enjoy the moment, Jumin.” Vague and confusing, but he wasn’t going to insist.

This felt really good. Being pet this way even though the other was unknowingly doing it. The soft pad of his fingers brushing some of the longer strands on the back of his neck, and tickling the sensitive skin there, it all made him want to shiver. How nice it was to lean on a warm body like this when he wasn’t feeling his best, when his stomach wanted to turn at the smells drifting in the air from the things surrounding them. Testing the waters, Jumin dropped his head back again and rested it against Zen’s chest to see if the other would push him away or comment on it.

He didn’t.

The body behind him shifted a bit and a chin was rested on the top of his head in a playful manner. His immediate thought was ‘how annoying’, but then the hands on his shoulders stopped and instead Zen slid them down and crossed them around his neck before he muttered, “aw, trust fund kid must not feel so hot if he’s seeking my comfort,” teasingly.

His sister glanced at them but chose to ignore their conversation when she realized Zen was being purposely quiet. Jumin didn’t say anything, he _had nothing to say_ to that. It wasn’t entirely true, but it also wasn’t entirely false. Instead, his hand moved up to grasp Zen’s in a gesture of gratitude. Never in his life did he think he’d be someone who seeks and appreciates physical gestures.

 _Just let it happen_ , a small voice in his mind kept whispering, f _or once in your life just let things happen_. He recalls the words from both his mother and Zen from a couple of days ago, ‘live a little’. Closing his eyes, Jumin melted into the solid warmth that was Zen’s body and let himself live a little.

When Charles was back, Jumin chewed the pink tablets he was given and drank the rest of the water before claiming he felt much better. They decided to leave the ferris wheel for later and instead they walked around the area away from the food and the smells that made his face tighten in disgust.

The moment him and Zen shared wasn’t spoken of between them, but something felt different as they brushed sides while they followed the other couple around. To distract himself he decided to give his father a call and see if he could schedule  breakfast or dinner with him, but it only went to voicemail after a few rings.

Jumin Han:  
Father, I was hoping we could spend some time before the festivities of the wedding begin.

“Everything okay?” Zen asked after noticing Jumin’s distress, which was now starting to truly irritate him but he didn’t know whether it was because he was upset his father clearly rejected his call, or because being cared for was somewhat suffocating coming from Zen.

“You know,” he began as he turned to meet the younger man’s red eyes, “it’s okay if I’m not okay. You don’t have to ask me every time.”

Grinning, Zen moved to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “But you’re always so cool and stoic. It’s weird seeing you go through emotions.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I still go through emotions just like everyone else. Now, for someone overly emotional like you then I suppose it’s probably a shock--”

“Jumin Han, next time I give you a massage I will move my hands up and choke you,” the other bit in annoyance.

There it was, what happened between them being mentioned just like that. As if it hadn’t been the most extraordinary experience Jumin’s ever been through.

“You should,” Jumin blurted, averting his eyes but remaining where he was flushed against the younger man.

Zen frowned and eyed him suspiciously. “Choke you?”

“Massage me,” he corrected him with a smirk, “all the time.”

He expected the other to push him away, or to stutter at what he said the way he usually did, but instead Zen simply lowered his eyelids while staring intently at him and breathed, “and why is that?”

 _Because I liked_ **_it_ **.

“Because you’re my boyfriend.”

It. _Touching_.

What kind of game was he playing at? Jumin couldn’t answer that even to himself. All he could do was act on whatever his mind was throwing at him. Get him to smile, get him to be annoyed, _get him to react to_ **_you_ **.

“Mmm,” Zen hummed and feigned thinking about it, “but that’s only for a few more days.”

Jumin suddenly found the ground more interesting. “Okay,” he said quietly, “then you’ll just have to continue being my boyfriend afterwards.”

The pale eyebrows shot up in surprise, he noticed because he had to look up due to the silence that fell upon them. This time Jumin was definitely pushed away but not with malice. Zen laughed at his words, the sound came out breathless at first due to the shock.

“Dude, you say the weirdest things sometimes!” He didn’t expect the heavy patting on his shoulder as the other doubled in laughter. “I think I’m starting to understand your sense of humor.”

There was a frown on his face. This was frustrating to extreme levels. Jumin hadn’t been joking. He meant what he said, and now _he_ is starting to _understand_ why the other doesn’t take him seriously at times. Zen takes Jumin’s stoicness as sarcasm, which to be fair (he can be fair), it’s understandable as Jumin uses that to his advantage when he’s making fun of the other.

“I thought I was flirting, not joking.” Jumin sounded serious but Zen laughed at him again. “Stop that.”

Removing a tear from his eye, Zen straightened up and smiled softly at him in a very condescending way. “You know, this would be adorable if you were a girl.”

Okay. “First of all, that’s very sexist,” he was bothered by the other’s reaction to the things he said. “Second of all, I can flirt.”

“No you can’t,” the other called out louder than it was necessary as they were walking side by side. “Not with me anyway.”

A long pause ensued as Jumin thought about what he said. Yes he can. He’s done it countless of times, in fact, Zen has mentioned his ability to be able to get what he wants by charming his way into it. “My swag dazzles everyone, you included.”

Putting his hands together in a prayer form, Zen brought them to his lips and said, “don’t ever use that word. It sounds _so weird_ coming out of your mouth.”

“I read it in the Urban Dictionary the other day, I thought it was an appropriate term to use.”

The younger man shook his head in disbelief. “I said it was weird coming from you, not that it wasn’t the appropriate term.”

If flirting isn’t working then he’ll just return to bickering like a child. They’ve flirted before--Jumin’s flirted before with Zen but the other immediately shut him down even when Momo had been playing along as well. The other was so quick to get offended when this happened on the RFA chat room. Somehow this time, face to face, is the complete opposite. He’s starting to think he’ll never understand the other.

“You’re always so mean and rude to me for absolutely no reason.”

Taking offense to what Jumin said, Zen stopped walking for a moment before catching up to him quickly. “Excuse me?” He roared. “I’m mean to you because you’re mean to me!”

Right, except Jumin hasn’t done anything to him. “So tell me how I’ve been mean to you lately?” When Zen didn’t say anything, Jumin added, “what’s your excuse now, brat?”

Lifting his hands up in defeat, the musical actor shook his head and smiled apologetically. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll stop being so mean to you.”

“Guys! Let’s go walk along the beach while we wait for the sun to set!”

It was already almost three in the afternoon, so they had a lot of time to kill. Jumin doesn’t particularly like walking around in beaches unless he’s going to enjoy said beach, but since they weren’t here to lounge around in their swimsuits, all they did was walk along a long path lined with palmtrees and sporty people going about their day.

Jumin’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and when he pulled it out he smiled at the message that awaited him.

ZEN:   
who are you calling a brat, old man?

“You _are_ a brat,” he reiterated, making a face at him. “Always talking back, never addressing me with honorifics, so disrespectful. Brat.”

Narrowing his eyes, Zen watched him in detail before tilting his head in wonder. “Why are you suddenly acting this way? Did something happen?”

Nothing seems to escape the younger man. “My father ignored my call and my message. He _never_ ignores my calls and messages…”

“Jumin…”

“Brother,” Junghee turned around again and sighed softly, “is Father giving you a hard time? Should I have not invited him?”

“Of course not,” he waved her statement away, “Father should be at your wedding, how is that a question.”

It was sweet that his sister would worry about what’s happening between him and his father, but it had nothing to do with her or the wedding. Their problems stem from something else, something neither really know what it is and he wishes he could sit and talk with him, to finally figure out what’s going on and how they can move forward into fixing it.

“I don’t like how polarizing our family is. Either Mother would be upset, or Father, or you, or Juwon. It’s a bit irritating, but I’d pick you above any of them.”

Blinking in surprise, Jumin had to take a step back and analyze what his sister meant by that statement. She’d pick _him_ over their own parents and the one brother she grew up with? But why? That made no sense. It was illogical. This is the first time they meaningfully interact with one another, and it hasn’t been that long either. He’s baffled at her words.

“Why do you say that?” Zen asked for him, making Jumin feel thankful of the way they seem to follow each other’s thoughts somehow.

The young girl shrugged and smiled sweetly at both of them. “I get this feeling that no matter what, my older brother would have my back always. Are you not putting up with a stressful situation just to make me happy? That’s more than I can say about everyone else. Juwon has barely left his bedroom because he’s more preoccupied with Father. Mother hasn’t really done anything with me even though I would’ve liked that, and this is because of Father and his girlfriend. And Father…”

Smiling knowingly, Jumin agreed with a soft, “and Father…” He then took a deep breath and made himself relax a bit. “I’m sorry about today’s date ruined by me getting sick.” He then turned to Zen and reached down to grab his hand in his and apologized once again, “and I’m sorry for making you worry about me.” It was so uncharacteristically for him to apologize this much but he felt like his sister and Zen would appreciate his gentle honesty.

“Why are you being so weird apologizing over something so small? Don’t worry about me.” The younger man blushed and muttered as he looked away purposely.

“I always worry about you,” he admitted proudly. It wasn’t a new thing. Zen should know by now that Jumin always worries about him and his, admittedly sometimes annoying, feelings.

The other’s red eyes turned to meet his and the two stared at one another for a long time.

It seems Jumin isn’t the only one that does the worrying though, and that makes him feel nice and warm inside.

More has changed in the past couple of days than it has in… well, years. Of course what happened with the RFA was huge, it was so big he still wonders if it was all reality or some sort of strange dream. But internally, personally, Jumin’s thoughts are very different. There are too many unexpected things happening and it’s changing the way he thinks. Zen, his family, that’s more than enough. It’s exasperating to not be able to see it all coming but he _likes_ the way things have been developing between him and them. His world is shifting for the first time in a long time, and in a completely different way than it did when V left him, when he was gifted Elizabeth 3rd. Jumin’s life has always been consistent on feelings, on him being able to control them and keep them under wraps.

And as they finish walking around the beach, as he watches them eat dinner while he sips on water, as Zen animatedly argues with Junghee and Charles despite the language barriers, as his sister smiles and laughs and suggests they take their own cars on the ferris wheel, Jumin feels _so much_. Love for his sister, love for Zen. Warmth flutters in his stomach, a strong pressure in his chest.

They hoped on the car and took a seat as the structure began to move. Zen staring out the window with a content smile on his face, and Jumin was busy on his phone.

Jumin Han:   
I do want to

707:   
cool bro, but you do want to what??

Jumin Han:   
Talk. About stuff, with you.

707:   
rn? aren’t u guys on ur date??

Blinking down at his phone, Jumin dipped his eyebrows in thought as he wondered _how_ Saeyoung knows--

“Hey, let’s just do this one round and get off. I don’t want you getting sick again,” Jumin snapped his head up and met Zen’s concerned eyes.

“Don’t you want to stare at the sunset?” He asked monotonously. That was literally the point, otherwise they would have left the beach sooner.

Sitting back, Zen tilted his head and said, “Jumin, you puked your brains out earlier and you want me to stare at the sky?”

Jumin shrugged and crossed his legs before resting his hands on his knees. “I figured you’d want to end the date the way it’s supposed to.”

The comment seemed to spark something in the other’s mind because Zen’s lips stretched in a smile and he leaned closer to look at Jumin’s face. “So, you had one hell of a first date ever. Throwing up, not being able to eat anything else afterwards, cutting everything short because seriously, you look like shit.”

It wasn’t so bad, he’d like to say. “Could’ve been worse,” he muttered instead, finding people in the distance more fascinating than the sparkly red eyes. “You could’ve _actually_ kissed me earlier.”

“You lit--” Zen breathed in heavily before tightening his lips and looking away. “I already told you, I wasn’t going to do that.”

The creaking from the car swinging lightly in the breeze was all that could be heard after that for a couple of minutes. He could’ve. Zen could’ve kissed him and Jumin probably wouldn’t have done anything other than stand there and let it happen. Was that the truth?

“Where do you want to live?” Jumin asks randomly.

Zen turned to look at him, silver hair falling over his shoulder from the low ponytail. “Huh? I don’t know yet. Why?”

“When you do let me know. I’ll gift it to you.” A house, a penthouse, it didn’t matter to Jumin. Zen could have it.

The other didn’t like his comment because he immediately began to argue back. “What? Jumin, I don’t--”

“It’s a thank you gift, Zen, take it.” The younger man did quit his battle as he stared at him with the most unreadable expression Jumin’s ever seen on his face. “I’m thankful for everything you’ve done so far, for going along with my plan to begin with.”

They shared a smile. “I _am_ a damn trooper. Who could put up with your whiny ass…”

“Please. You wish you were my real boyfriend, just like half the people I interact with while doing business.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the narcissist? Listen, there can’t be two of us.” The chuckle from the musical actor filled their little car with noise, and Jumin didn’t feel so sick anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. WHO IS JUMIN KIDDING he'd be all into wearing Zen's clothes pffft I feel like he would, with his possessive personality and all.
> 
> 2\. And let's be real, Zen is such a cheesy hopeless romantic, he'd LOVE for Jumin to wear his clothes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> 3\. Jumin's stomach is very delicate ok??? leave him alone! he can't help it ;_;
> 
> 4\. Junghee's comment about them being able to act out on their feelings in that country bless her
> 
> 5\. Can I just say that Seven would be that asshole friend? I mean, he already is but like, seriously, lay off Jumin's dick hahahaha let the electronically incompetent man live his life with his equally electronically incompetent boyfriend
> 
> 6\. I like to think that it's not that Jumin would never want physical contact, but more like he doesn't know what he likes or doesn't like about it because it's pretty clear he grew up pretty lonely. It's possible that he'd be the kind of cold person that enjoys physical contact with very special people (like a lover, for example).
> 
> 7\. He's an everything-virgin. It's ok, that's going to change in the next couple of chapters ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
> 
> 8\. He was going to kiss him.
> 
> 9\. I've mentioned this in my tumblr already, but I'll do it again. Zen gives zero fucks about money and status, and Jumin can't care any less about looks and anything shallow. They're SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, not to mention one's protective and the other is possessive????? And one wants to be protected and the other wants to be loved. Like??? Could Cheritz have made them any more for each other?!?!!?
> 
> 10\. Jumin didn't deny the choking comment though... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> 11\. Seven is the best friend we all wish we had tbh
> 
> 12\. Jumin's thank you card level A HOUSE BITCH
> 
> 13\. Two happy potatoes !!!!!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL REVIEWERS, you guys always make my freaking day and I gush about you and your perfect, sweet words to my best friend lmao You guys are DA BEST~~


	7. When Zen plays the piano and wants to kiss Jumin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of questioning Ft. Elizabeth the 3rd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so fluffy I just
> 
> -FACT, Zen was in a gang! So be prepared to read about that here.
> 
> -FACT Zen plays the piano.
> 
> also, random sidenote totally unrelated to this chapter hahaha but:  
> -FACT Chairman Han’s company is actually based only on Korea according to the game, but this is my story and I wanted them to be more extra so I expanded it internationally.
> 
> ***Quick reminder that this story is unbeated lol sorry!

Day 5

* * *

 

Jumin was happily staring at his beautiful child do magnificent things on Yoosung’s counter when Zen randomly dropped his body on the couch next to him and made his phone slide out of his hands. “Do you mind? I’m having a bonding moment with Elizabeth.”

The younger man has been in the best of moods the entire day, and despite Jumin having issues with his father’s cold shoulder, he can’t bring himself to dampen the other’s sweet, bright smile. Particularly when it was being directed at him more often than not. Zen’s happiness being directed at him was something he never saw coming. It was a rather nice surprise, he admits, because something about the handsome smile was contagious and Jumin finds himself smiling more than usual.

“Oh please,” the other huffed and moved to wrap an arm on the couch behind Jumin. “It’s a cat, and it can’t understand what you say to it.”

He was about to dampen _all over_ that smile if the younger man says anything else about his cat other than how amazing and perfect she is, and how she can _most definitely_ understand him.

“Is that Zen?” Yoosung spoke from the other side of the phone and suddenly his cat became a very young and bright face. “Hi Zen! How’re you!? Guys, Zen is with Jumin!”

Jumin felt a bit of heat on the bottom of his stomach as not only Zen’s smile got brighter and sweeter, but also his entire face. Everyone knows the younger man has a soft spot for Yoosung, but how dare his new assistant come in between him and Zen’s developing relationship? Due to the developments of this trip, Jumin assumed he’d be able to have the other all to himself and his attention not be divided between everyone as he tried to figure things out on his own. But now. Here he was, feeling slightly bothered by the fact that there are other people his fake boyfriend loves more than him.

“Yoosung!” Zen moved closer and leaned into Jumin so the two could fit in the screen. On the other side of it, two more heads joined in and his special call with Elizabeth turned into a conference call between the RFA. “Hey guys!”

“It’s mom and dad! Oh my God, do I see a glow on your face, Zen?” Saeyoung sang teasingly before he was smacked by his fiance. “Ouch! It was a joke… chill people.” Rolling his eyes at the terms they were referred as, Jumin handed Zen his phone then crossed his arms across his chest comfortably.

“Who are you calling dad?” Zen bit back trying to look angry but failing at it from being so happy to see their friends. “Listen you little shits, someone has to be responsible in this family.”

There was a chorus of laughter. As soon as Yoosung could breathe, he said, “It’s cute how he thinks he’s the dad.”

That didn’t sit well with Zen so he turned to Jumin for support but he got none of that. Shrugging, Jumin turned back to the screen with a smile. “They’re not wrong.”

“You’re insufferable.”

On the corner of the screen, Jumin spotted Elizabeth perched on Momo’s lap being happily pet. “Can I please have my child’s attention?” He asked.

Saeyoung pulled the phone so all of his face could cover it and asked, “which one?” continuing the joke from moments ago.

“The only one that matters,” he replied stoically. Zen laughed so hard at it that the younger man dropped the phone, leaving Jumin to pick it up, and fell back to the side so he could lay on the couch while he held his stomach.

“Daaamn, that’s cold man.”

It’s what he gets for being in the way. “You better not be doing weird things to my baby or you will pay with blood, sweat and tears.”

He could see Momo bite her lips trying not to laugh at Saeyoung’s scared look. “Woah woah, we’re just visiting Yoosung who happens to be catsitting Elly. Why are you being so aggressive to me, this is making me feel very sad.”

“Seven, it’s because you’re so weird,” Zen chimed in from where he was laying on the couch now. One of his legs was folded up by Jumin while the other had his foot resting on the floor. “Even I’m not that weird with the cat, and I don’t like it!” His nose twitched at what he was saying, making Jumin have difficulty looking away from him.

“That’s because you can’t go anywhere near her. If you could, you’d want to cuddle her just as much.”

Hm. That’s right, Zen was allergic to cats. If-- _If_ they become closer, there’s no way the other would ever want to visit Jumin at his place, and there’s no way he’d _not_ have Elizabeth 3rd home. Their only choices would be to hang out in other places or for him to visit Zen which Jumin already has almost no time to even sleep in his own home let alone pay people a visit. Although, Zen wouldn’t be just anybody.

That is to say, _if_ they become closer. For all he knows the other would be happy to ditch him as soon as they go back to Korea. Something tells him he won’t though. There’s something undeniably new between them and Jumin almost feels as comfortable around Zen as he did around V when he was alive. Friends. They’re definitely friends now.

“What’s with the face,” Zen muttered as he slowly sat up, his body facing Jumin.

A thumping began in his chest and Jumin let his dark eyes fall to the phone. “Hand me your phone,” he ordered the other who did what he was told as he looked at him in confusion. “Here.” Giving Zen the phone with the video chat, Jumin got up from the couch and stepped outside the bedroom through the glass doors leading to the backyard so he could make the call he told Seven he would.

Zen’s chatting faded as he closed the glass doors behind him. It was somewhat nerve wracking having this conversation, it was a very serious conversation that if it fell into the wrong ears things could go very wrong. Zen could hate Jumin forever, he could push him away so much that one of them would have to distance themselves from the RFA completely. Or both. Nevertheless, it’d be devastating to everyone. They all love each other dearly after all.

Without hesitating any longer, Jumin dialed Seven’s number from Zen’s phone and waited for the other to answer.

“Hey!” He said it so loud Jumin had to move the phone away from his ear. He heard some shuffling and then the voices disappeared. Jumin was thankful that despite the goofy personality, Saeyoung understood certain cues. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. That’s not why I wanted to talk to you.” How to even begin… “There’s a lot going on in my head that I don’t understand and I thought you’d be an appropriate person to talk about this with.” That was good enough, vague enough on the topic but clear enough on what kind of solution he’s looking for, “You and Momo, it’s clear the two of you love each other deeply.”

Saeyoung hummed in agreement and asked, “why exactly are you bringing that up?” but the tone he used let Jumin know the other knew exactly why he said what he said.

“I want to understand.” The confession was much easier than he thought, but at the same time it felt more significant. He was letting his friend know he was _interested_ in love regardless of on what level. Jumin has never, not even _once_ been interested in love and affection and all the messy things that come along with that. He’s been around his father’s messy love life long enough to never want to be anywhere near it, and yet, here he was. “How did you know you were in love with her?” The two knew each other for a relatively short amount of time, it puzzles Jumin, because his father changes women like he changes underpants, yet Saeyoung and Momo have been going strong for many months now, and they’re now on the way to marriage.

V and Rika were together for years. He doesn’t like to count them though. The few times Jumin showed interest in their relationship, V took it as him being maybe jealous of the divided attention (which was a laughable thought), possibly lonely, and that was the end of that. The man had been very private and although now he understands why, it doesn’t change the fact that their relationship had been a mystery to Jumin.

“I don’t know if I can explain it. I just knew. Hearing her voice made me so happy. Seeing messages from her, getting to know things about her, those were the highlights of my days. And oh, my God. When I finally got to meet her in person… My shitty attitude almost ruined everything between us but she kept me on track. She made sure I was okay even though I acted like a complete ass. She’s my angel…”

Mulling over the information for a moment, Jumin realized that things seldom make him feel anything worthy of mention with the exception of Elizabeth. And Zen seems to be on the same level of exception as her. Seven’s words are heartwarming though, they make the whole thing sound like a love story coming straight from a book or a movie, which in turn makes him wonder if that’s what it all was. Something mostly unattainable.

“What if--What if the other person doesn’t feel the same way?” The question was sort of backpedaling but he needed to ask that, it was one of his primary concerns.

Seven’s laugh was muffled, as if he hid it behind his hands. “You’re kidding right? Zen--”

“This _isn’t_ about Zen,” Jumin cut in sharply. The biggest lie, honestly. Who else would he be talking about? Most of the group already dumps him together with the younger man whenever they let their imaginations run wild.

“Okay. _Ben_ , can I call him that? Anyway. **_Ben_ ** is totally into you too.”

“But you don’t know that. How can you know that?” Did Zen say something to him? Jumin was seriously trying not to laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing was. He could be honest with the kid but he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Let’s just say I have a feeling--”

“I don’t trust feelings. I need cold, hard facts, Seven.” And that was the main issue. Up until recently Zen was rude and cold towards Jumin. He’s had girlfriends before, he’s very obviously attracted to women. And in the slim chance that he’s also attracted to men, it doesn’t mean he’s attracted to Jumin. That much he understands.

“You are _so rude_. At least let me finish. Gee.” There was some mumbling on the other side of the call, then Saeyoung sighed exaggeratedly. “Look, there’s no way to get these so called cold hard facts when it comes to love. Anything can change at any moment. All I can tell you is that you either take the chance and find out for yourself, or you keep quiet and forever regret not knowing.”

This was so difficult for him. Jumin doesn’t do gut feeling, or signs, or anything like that. When he makes a move with his business, it’s calculated and with a basis on facts and statistics. Could he take a frightening jump just like that? Possibly ruin one of the counted things that seem to light up his life? (because let’s be real, Zen never fails to put a smile on his face).

The two were silent for a long time while Jumin was lost in thought trying to make sense of what made no sense to him. “I’m sorry,” his young friend breathed out mournfully. “I guess I’m no help. It’s different for everyone… I knew Momo for a few weeks before we started falling in love, you’ve known Ze--I mean Ben for years. I’m sure that changes things. There’s so much you two have always disliked about each other for a long time.”

They’ve only had a few months pass after their sentimental talk on the hill, and the only reason they’re getting close is because they’re pretending to be together for Jumin’s sake.

“I see.”

“So,” Saeyoung cut in curiously, “explain to me what’s changed between you two? Maybe we can figure it out from there?”

Blinking, Jumin thought back on what’s been happening since their arrival in America but he can’t really think of any specific scenario where he could say, yes, _that’s_ what’s changed. “Nothing noticeable. It’s been very… organic. Natural.” That’s the best way he can describe the dynamic change between him and Zen. The other has been very nice to him in a more meaningful level than what his physical affection does for him. Jumin feels like he’s a _person_. Someone separate from his job, from his family, from the bubble he resides in. That’s been happening since the day he met the younger man, Jumin simply didn’t realize it yet.

“If nothing has changed but you think there’s definitely something different, then maybe you were always in love Jumin. You probably didn’t realize it. Just… do remember that _Ben_ is his own person, one that happens to be very _emotionally driven_ , and you’re right to think he might not return your feelings. I’m not saying he won’t! But do think about how and when you say things…”

So he was infatuated with Zen. Just like that? Or he isn’t. But if he isn’t then why does he keep thinking about things that make no sense. Jumin wants Zen to remain acting like this boyfriend. He wants to wake up and see his stupid face like they did the first they they arrived, but if he’s greeted with his sweaty, wind tousled face instead Jumin wouldn’t complain. It upsets him when Zen flirts with everyone here, and according to the dictionary that means he’s jealous. There’s no doubt that Jumin is fiercely protective of what is his, and whether it’s real or not, Zen happens to be _his_ during this trip.

“How does someone not know they’re in love?” Saeyoung questioned in astonishment after a long pause. “I just can’t. What even are you dude?”

Honestly, he didn’t know.

“Thank you for listening. And for your advice.” Now that he thinks about it, Seven actually gave him good advice. It makes him happy knowing his friend took this conversation seriously.

“I never thought you’d ever have a serious conversation like this one with me but it makes me happy to know you trust me. You’re like the weird older brother I never asked for.”

“Thanks,” Jumin replies and Seven bursts out laughing.

They chat a bit about how everyone’s doing, but then he hears Yoosung call Seven over and that was his cue to end the conversation. “Stay away from Elizabeth,” he added coldly, reminding the other that what just happened between them doesn’t change anything.

“Yeah, I’ll kiss her and hug her more. Good luck! You should try sucking his dick, I’m sure he’s into that! Also I want to be the best man at your wedding! Anyway, bye!”

Before Jumin could be indignant the call ended and all he could do was stare down at it in shock. The kid had been too fast for him, but the next time they talk he’s going to scold him for being so vulgar. A message suddenly appeared, from himself, and he opened it only to meet Zen’s pouty selfie as he laid back on the couch. It took some self control to look away from it so he could see the other message that arrived right after the picture. His selfies were never this distracting. What is happening to him?

Jumin Han:   
[photo]

Jumin Han:   
What are you doing with my phone??

ZEN:   
Dirty things, illegal things

Jumin Han:   
har har, very funny. Can I have it back?

ZEN:   
Hmm. On one condition.

Jumin Han:   
=_= seriously?

Jumin smiled to himself.

ZEN:   
Don’t make me tell your fans you’re a bad boyfriend  
Give me a massage.

Jumin Han:   
My god. You’re so freaking needy!

When he walked back in, Zen was still playing around with his phone, reading through messages as if that was okay. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked him as he walked by, snatching the phone from his hands. “Those are private conversations.”

“Oh relax, it’s not like there was anything sensitive in them. I was trying to find something to blackmail you with but all I got was a sneezing fit and a lot of confusion.” The younger man moved a leg down the couch and pushed himself up before he motioned for Jumin to sit on the rug between his legs. “You wanted a damn massage, didn’t you? Let’s get it over with.”

It was interesting how Zen was ready to give him what he asked for, but then again Jumin did tell him the previous day that he should remain his boyfriend forever just for the massages. So he did what he was told and dropped the musical actor’s phone next to him on the couch.

“Were you talking to Seven?” Zen asked from behind him as he rested his hands on Jumin’s shoulders and began to squeeze.

Jumin wanted to groan at how good it felt to have his shoulders massaged by the other. He’s been to spas before, but this was so much different. He preferred this over some stranger doing it while he was nude under a towel. “Yeah. I needed to ask him something.”

Zen hummed and Jumin closed his eyes. “So… Do I get to know what you needed to ask him?”

“No.”

The hands ceased their ministrations and Jumin shrugged his shoulders to let the other know he wanted him to continue. “Fine. Be all secretive. I thought we were on a good path here but I guess old habits die hard. Whatever.”

It shouldn’t have, but the comment made him feel slightly guilty. They all promised to stop with the secrets between them after the whole Rika fiasco. And while this was more of a personal matter, it still pertained to the group in a way. He was infatuated with Zen, and he along with Seven already kept a huge secret from him about how V died. Which, in retrospect, that’s going to be a pain to confess to. He could see the storm brewing behind him as he made the decision to spare the younger man his feelings.

“I just had something personal to ask,” Jumin said slowly, leaning back on the edge of the couch completely. “Are you going to make me tell you what that was?” He asked him teasingly.

Hands squeezed his muscles harder than it was necessary. “I should, but I respect your privacy.” Says Zen after Jumin chastised him for going through his messages.

“How charming, I’m sure your previous girlfriends share the sentiment.” Sarcasm dripped from his words in a very obvious way, but Zen ignored it and laughed instead.

There was something about that laugh, it made Jumin’s heart thump harder against his chest. It made him become aware of how close they were sitting, how snugly it felt to be resting between the other’s legs so casually even though they were on two different surfaces.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t notorious for my charm back when I was a teenager. So I’d say no, they probably don’t share the sentiment.”

Oh. What an interesting thought. “I guess no one can compare to how amazing I am.” Before Zen could argue about that with him, Jumin turned to sort of look at him in question and said, “it’s hard to picture you not being charming though, it’s literally all you have to offer.”

“Wow, what a dick.” Jumin received a kick on his thigh for the comment but nothing further. “Just so you know, it wasn’t for the lack of trying. I ran away from home when I was fourteen, asshole. I held multiple part time jobs just so I wouldn’t sleep on the streets.”

Jumin was very curious to know how Zen made it without his family supporting him. What sort of jobs can a fourteen year old get anyway? That can’t be entirely legal. “What kind of jobs did you have?”

At this point the massage was forgotten completely. “Why do you ask?” Zen asked skeptically before scooting back on the couch and crossing his legs.

The floor wasn’t entirely uncomfortable with the plush rug under him, so Jumin simply turned around and leaned his back against the coffee table to stare up at the younger man while they talked. “I’m not asking you because I have ulterior motives, if that’s what you think.” He was eyed suspiciously but after Zen thought it over, he decided to trust Jumin’s word. The small gesture from the musical actor meant a lot to him.

“Whatever I could find. I remember the first two… delivery boy and janitor. I liked the janitor one because people wouldn’t bother me and I didn’t need to rush anywhere. Not that you would understand.”

“Sometimes I rush reading through projects,” he added quite lamely as there’s no comparison. Jumin might be a bit detached from everyone else's’ reality, but he’s not stupid. Whether his comment irritated or cheered the other man, Jumin didn’t know, but Zen shook his head and gave him a half smile.

Jumin couldn’t imagine a fourteen year old doing those jobs because he never knew of teenagers doing them. After he was done with primary school, Jumin was sent overseas to study abroad. Most of his time was spent indoors reading and studying, or shadowing people while attending meetings and conferences through a webcam. Everyone he knew had a similar, at times identical life. At the age of seventeen almost eighteen, Jumin was getting ready to fly to Europe while Zen was running away from his home.

“What happened afterwards? How did you even find a place to live at fourteen?”

Zen was surprised by his interest, but he didn’t end the conversation. Unsurprisingly as this is the first time Jumin asks things about him directly to his face. All he knows about Zen has either been shared in the group chats, or Rika and V told him long ago.

“The guy that owns the building where I currently live in took pity on me and gave me the crappiest apartment he had. And trust me, the last thing I was thinking when I was given the opportunity to rent it was how crappy it was. In fact, that’s why I’ve kept living there for so long… I got it all on my own. I worked up to four jobs just to pay the rent and I did it without anyone’s help. My parents and my brother told me I would fail, but I didn’t.”

This brings new light to Zen’s constant rejection of his help. Was this why?

Many times Jumin had that argument with Zen. He never told him he would fail without his help, but he did tell him he would succeed with his help. And now that he puts it into perspective, the comment insinuates that he would definitely fail without his help. For the first time in his life Jumin feels like a total asshole.

“No, you didn’t.” Jumin smiled at Zen who smiled back.

“But anyway, that’s why my ex-girlfriends don’t share your sentiment. I was far too busy doing everything else to be anything but the worst boyfriend to them. In my defense, I was young and stupid so… I don’t know what they expected.”

They expected the beautiful looks to carry all the way to the inside, unfortunately for them Zen hadn’t been in the best of places at the time. Jumin’s the one that gets to enjoy that part of the younger man, even if it’s through a fake relationship. That pleases him.

“Maybe they thought you looked cooler than you actually were,” Jumin joked monotonously, getting another playful kick as a result. He doesn’t know why he’s allowing that to keep happening.

Scoffing, Zen frowned in indignation and said, “I’ll have you know that I used to be in a gang where they taught me how to do a lot of cool things. So in your face, I was pretty fucking cool back then.”

“And what are these cool things you were taught?”

The other’s red eyes shone as he jumped up from the couch and pulled Jumin up from his hand so the two could be standing. “They taught me how to break ribs with my elbow, and how to take down someone twice my size.”

Jumin widened his eyes and looked Zen up and down. He’s already pretty defined, he doesn’t _need_ to know those dangerous tricks. Who would pick a fight with a guy like Zen? Jumin already gets looks for being so tall, the other is practically as tall as him. “Is that it?”

Grinning, Zen looked around the room as he spoke. “I also know how to wield and attack with a knife.” When he couldn’t find whatever it was he was looking for, his shoulders fell and he said, “I can’t find anything to show you some moves, but yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

“Why would you need to know any of that?” It’s funny how much Zen complained about the bodyguards but here he is, telling him all the dangerous things he was taught in the streets. That’s why Jumin would never go out in public alone, so if he’s ever attacked, the offenders would have to go through his bodyguards.

The musical actor blushed and looked away from him. Jumin followed his face then he swallowed unknowingly when he noticed the sharp line of his jaw and how nice his loose strands looked resting against it.

“I also, kind of, occasionally resorted to mugging people…”

 _Criminal_. Zen was a criminal, Jumin was with a _criminal_.

Zen must have noticed his discomfort because he moved closer and looked into Jumin’s eyes. “Hey… that was forever ago, I obviously don’t do it anymore. In fact, I didn’t do it for long mostly because it was terrible and I hated it, but also because I started acting which paid better than some of my part time jobs.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” he finally spoke once his initial shock faded. “I don’t care that you’re a criminal.”

Silver eyebrows shot up in surprise and something flashed through the red eyes, something that made Jumin feel regret. “A criminal, huh? Yeah, I guess that’s what it makes me. But you know what? I’m glad you were never in my position Jumin. I’m glad you never had to run away from home and figure shit out when you were fourteen, ignore school and instead work any job you could get just so you wouldn’t starve. And hey, the guys in the gang were probably all criminals as well, but at least they took me in and took care of me which is more than my family can say.”

Of course his words were offensive to him. This always happens, Jumin states a fact and Zen gets upset over it.

“I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. This is so you Jumin, always judging everything about me. I thought we were becoming good friends and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let you in on some things about my life because I felt you would finally understand, but I guess I was wrong. If I knew I was going to be judged by you I wouldn’t have said anything--”

“Hyun,” he called firmly and Zen looked up to meet his eyes again, “I didn’t mean to offend you. It was merely a fact. I don’t care about what you did when you were a teenager.”

Shaking his head, Zen moved back to where he had been on the couch and sat down. “You know, you can be a real asshole sometimes. What’s sad is that you don’t even try to be, it just comes out.”

This was not like their previous arguments, this was more personal and Jumin didn’t know how to proceed. Last time something like this happened was when Jumin realized Zen was discriminating against him personally. That issue got resolved quickly mostly because Zen had other stuff going on, and Jumin put his feelings aside to help him out.

Zen randomly chuckled and laid back on the couch. “Sometimes I don’t know if I should laugh or cry because of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just… You’re so weird. You didn’t intend to offend me but you offended me anyway, and you see nothing wrong with that but at the same time you take the time to make me feel less offended. I don’t even know what to say to you. People’s feelings can be hurt whether you intend to do it or not.”

Looking down at the rug, Jumin walked over and took a seat next to Zen’s legs and sighed. “I’d rather you laugh if that means anything.” Emotionally driven, as always. Seven’s previous observation made him smile. Honestly, who doesn’t know that Zen is this way? Even his best friend and his girlfriend knew this, Zen’s passionate personality was one of the first things Rika mentioned about him.

A thought occurred to him as the two sat in silence. Both Rika and V were very fond of Zen, and Jumin wonders if that was because Zen is in a way very similar to Rika. The two clearly went  through abuse from both their families, different types of abuse but abuse nonetheless. Zen’s self worth seems to stem from his situation with his parents, as Rika’s did. The two were seemingly left to fend for themselves and figure things out on their own. This was worth looking further into, not with the intention to compare but to get to know the younger man further. If Zen wanted to talk about himself, Jumin would sit and quietly listen to him.

 

~

 

Jumin’s words stuck to him the rest of the evening. Zen didn’t think it’d affect him so much to hear it from the man’s lips, but it did and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Yeah, Zen was a criminal. _Was_. He doesn’t do that shit anymore, if anything he’s become a hundred percent an honest man. When he has extra, he gives, when someone else needs something more than him, he gives. When someone needs help, he gives. It was unfair to be colored with the criminal paintbrush. Especially when it came from pampered, sheltered, Mr. CEO-in-line.

He had been so happy all day. The two mainly lazed around while everyone else seemed to be out on errands, and it felt good to sit and share very personal details about his life with Jumin. But the older man had to ruin things by being himself.

Sighing, Zen blinked slowly and moved to lean his chin on his hand as he listened to the emptiness of the huge mansion they were temporarily residing. He decided to leave the bedroom and instead walk around the main part of the house where the grand piano was at. It was hard not to glance over and wish he could play it.

“Can I join?” Jumin randomly asked from behind the couch. When Zen turned around he saw him holding a bottle of wine and a glass, one on each hand, as if the man hadn’t been puking his brains out the previous day. Shrugging, Zen went back to ignore him and the young director walked around to take a seat on the other empty seat at the other end. “Never seen a piano?”

Zen smirked and huffed indignantly. “Please. You’re talking to a pro.”

“You play the piano?” The surprise in the other’s tone irritated him more than the criminal comment.

Standing up, Zen approached the instrument, which was very beautiful and well taken care of, and took a seat on the stool. “Yup, been playing it since I was a child. Not too shabby for a criminal, eh?”

He couldn’t see Jumin’s stare but he sure as hell felt it on his back. “I thought we were done with that,” the man chided in slight exasperation. “I’m impressed.”

Zen simply tightened his lips in displeasure and pressed a few keys to see if they were tuned. The melodious sound filled his ears, making some of his anger from earlier disappear. He misses playing the piano. With all the work he’s been getting Zen’s been able to save up a lot of money, he could definitely afford one now. Maybe that’ll be his Christmas present to himself this year.

As if he hadn’t taken a long break from playing music, his fingers instinctively began to come down on the keys, filling the room with a slow paced tune that flowed in soft strums. It brought him back to the times he would stay longer at one of the theaters he used to work at back in the day just to play the piano they had there for some of the musicals. While acting is a big passion of his, nothing beats the happiness that singing and playing music brings to his soul.

When he was done, Zen let the last keys go by slowly before the sound faded. Turning around, he gave Jumin a pointed look and raised an eyebrow with cockyness. “So, what do you think?”

Jumin took a second to reply, but when he did it pleased Zen deeply. “That was beautiful. I’ve never heard that piece before. What’s it’s name?”

Smirking, Zen closed his eyes and proudly announced, “you’ve never heard it because I wrote it. It has no name. Yet.” He could come up with one but he’s been so busy with his work and he hasn’t played the piano in so long that most of the tunes he’s come up with have been forgotten and left in a dark corner in his mind.

“You compose music?” Again with the disbelief. It made him want to ask the pompous ass if _he_ knows how to play or compose music, but Zen wasn’t feeling that petty at the moment.

“Yup, and I write songs too. I don’t know why you sound surprise, this is literally my passion.” And acting. But primarily he loves singing, music, dancing. And more often than not he gets to do that while being casted in musicals.

The older man stared at him with an unreadable look on his face, but at the moment Zen was still salty over the criminal comment from earlier that instead of engaging with him further he turned around and began to play more music. It was nice to let his mind clear from any thought as the sounds fill him with tranquility. Christmas seems so far away to wait for that piano.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. “Teach me something,” the older man muttered softly, forcing Zen to scoot over and let him take the now empty spot. Their thighs were pressed tightly as the two grown men sat side by side on the piano.

“I’m surprised you want me to teach you how to play piano,” Zen says, as he actively tries to ignore the fact that they were _very_ close. It’s not enough that their bedroom smells like Jumin’s cologne, now he has to smell it on him.

He felt Jumin shrug before he said, “if you can play it then it must not be so difficult.”

Turning to glare at the man, Zen’s eyes locked with Jumin’s dark ones. His usually pale cheeks were pink, from the wine no doubt, and he was _way_ less intimidating when he was in close proximity. “I should break your ribs with my elbow,” he threatened.

Jumin’s hand moved to press a few keys absentmindedly. “You know,” he spoke as he let his eyes wander over the piano, “I wonder if it makes you happy that you know how to play piano while I don’t.”

“ _Jumin_ ,” Zen clinked his teeth when he shut his mouth for a second to keep himself from smiling. “First of all, I know how to do _so many things_ you don’t. Second, I don’t care about that stuff.” The comment did spike his curiosity about one thing. What does Jumin Han think of him? Zen has never cared about anyone’s opinion of him, but suddenly he wants to know what the hell goes on in the older man’s crazy head. “You seem to have a weird opinion of me.”

“I think it’s fair. _You_ have a weird opinion of me too.”

Yeah. Okay, yeah, it was fair. Maybe this was the time for them to change that?

Slowly, Zen pressed a couple of keys so Jumin could repeat the action after him. “Well, here, let me clear misconceptions. I’m _not_ jealous of you or anyone else; I’ve worked hard for what I have and what I am, it pleases me and that’s all that matters to me. I might envy certain things, but I’ve never wished to be anyone else but me.”

He let Jumin think about what he said, hoping that he’d also clear some himself. “I’m not a cold hearted robot. I’m still human, despite the way I carry myself,” Jumin’s fingers moved on the keys as he spoke, effectively repeating the notes Zen showed him.

No, he isn’t. It’s been a treat to get to know Jumin as the person behind the cold exterior, very much the aloof guy he is but more goofy. Does Jaehee know him this way too? He voiced the question right away, seizing the opportunity Jumin was giving him.

Dark, styled hair bounced as he shook his head. “Jaehee was my employee before she was my friend. All she knew me as was her boss. Except for the chat rooms. With Yoosung it’s different. He became a friend first, but also he’s only an intern, there’s a chance he won’t be my permanent assistant.”

“He’s a hard worker, you shouldn’t be too h--”

“I find it confusing,” Jumin stopped him, “that you advocate for him while you would be up in arms if someone did that for you.”

Rolling his eyes, Zen pushed on Jumin’s arm. “It’s not the same. I’m very particular about the way I succeed. Yoosung doesn’t care about that stuff. As long as he can play his computer game, he doesn’t care about anything else.”

“I don’t get it.”

That made two of them. He’s seen the kid play that game and it looks like something from another world. Zen can barely work his own phone, let alone a computer like the one Yoosung has. He still struggles with the one Seven gifted him.

Wait.

“You don’t get what?”

“You’ve clearly demonstrated to yourself and others what a hard worker you are. Social networking is a thing, why continue to reject offers presented to you?” Jumin sounded genuinely confused and Zen had to stifle a laugh. The man was very knowledgeable, he can admit that, but the moment he faces something that puzzles him, it’s as if his mind narrows down to that obstacle in front of him.

“But I haven’t. Isn’t that why you keep referring jobs to me? Networking?”

“No.” When Zen frowned in confusion, Jumin decided to elaborate on his answer. “I keep referring jobs to you because I think you’re the best choice for said jobs. You made it very clear to me that you don’t want _my_ help.”

Zen’s heart jumped for a second.

“Which never made sense to me either, and it led me to believe you were discriminating against me. I hope you understand that when it comes to my father’s company I don’t take things lightly. If I think you’d be a great asset it’s because you would be, not because I feel sorry for you, or feel sympathy, or so on.”

Zen can also admit that Jumin isn’t the only one with his head up his ass sometimes. It never did occur to him that Jumin Han was a very meticulous man when it came to his job. Right now he was a bit speechless.

“I thought V and Rika asked you to help me out,” he confessed, feeling haunted. Has his opinion on Jumin been wrong _for years_?

The other shook his head again. “They asked me to meet you, and they said I’d be of great help to you. But I would never compromise my job or my father’s company for anyone, not even my best friend.”

Mind blown is an understatement. Zen felt slightly lightheaded. “You’re telling me that all those times when you offered to send me overseas, to pay for my school, and to get into the entertainment industry was because it was going to somehow be beneficial for your company? You don’t even think I’m good looking…”

“I’ve never said you’re _not_ good looking,” the older man argued, and thinking back on it he might be right, “but that isn’t why I wanted you to be the face of our company. I’m not naive, good looks are certainly an advantage, but there has to be talent, substance. After hours of watching videos from your plays, I made my move. In this case, I made _many_ moves but to no avail. Until recently that is.”

How could Zen have been so blind by his dislike of Jumin? It all made sense. When has the man ever half assed anything that has to do with his work? It’s one of the few things the two have in common. Their diligence. Their stringent personalities regarding work.

He’s genuinely at a loss of words at how stupid he was for so long.

“I always assumed you were doing what V and Rika asked you to do, and because I was being loyal to you I kept accepting the jobs you’ve given me lately.” That’s not to say that Jumin reaching out to him and comforting him when he needed it didn’t brighten his life, because it did. “Jumin, I owe you an apology.”

The young director smiled softly at him and said, “apology accepted.”

Jumin had such a nice smile. Maybe because the man rarely uses it, but here he seems to smile often and Zen was slowly starting to fall for it like all those suckers that get to deal with him at work. Jumin’s mouth was shaped prettily; curved and full lips finished the elegant angles of his face. Zen licked his own lips and diverted his gaze back to their fingers on the piano keys.

Clearing his throat, Zen shifted his position straight and showed the other a different set of keys to continue the melody he decided to teach the other. Instead of going for the typical children sounds, he chose his own piece. After showing the other two other sets, Zen told him to repeat them all from the beginning with no break in between, and that’s how the two got to play a small but pretty piece on the piano.

“There, you’ve learned to do the intro to my song,” Zen announced as he leaned back and stretched his arms above his head.

Jumin watched him closely, causing Zen to catch his breath. They were so close, if he moved a couple of inches over they could kiss. For the second time, his focus were the older man’s lips.

“Jumin.”

Zen’s heart jumped up into his throat at the deep sound of the other’s dad. He remained where he was, the way he was facing Jumin, watching Jumin’s eyes focus on the man behind Zen. They were sitting intimately close on the stool and to be frank, Zen had been thinking of kissing the man’s son.

“Father?”

“Meet me in the office.”

A pink tongue brushed out to moisten equally pink lips. Zen bit his lip as he watched it all happen. His heart was beating so hard he wondered if the other could hear it.

This was insane. He can’t sit there and think of kissing Jumin, he can’t _just sit there_ and react this way to the way the older man licks his own lips. _Insane_.

“I’ll be right back…” Jumin muttered quietly between them, but he could mutter anything between them and Zen would let him do it.

Could he? Be attracted to Jumin that way, he means. Could Zen be attracted to Jumin in a romantic way? He never thinks of kissing women, let alone men. He loves women, he’s been in relationships with them and enjoyed every bit of what that entails. But could he do the same with a guy, and not just any guy, Jumin Han?

Zen never thought he’d be questioning his sexuality. Are women the only creatures on earth he finds attractive? No. Never. He can appreciate beauty where there is. The thing is, for him, love isn’t just looks and what one has or doesn’t between their legs. Zen wasn’t just any kind of romantic, he was a hopeless romantic. To him, love could cure just about anything, love could bring anyone out of whatever deep hole they were in, love is something everyone will eventually find when the right time comes, and it’s something people don’t get to choose. Love transcends just about everything; gender was _not_ the exception.

But this was Jumin. Stoic, insensitive, imposing, cat loving, and just about everything Zen thought he’d never find himself attracted to. So why him? Why now, why, why, _why_.

Sighing, Zen leaned over, crossed his arms over the piano and buried his face in them. Why was this trip turning into the most complicated moment of his adult life? He was lowkey freaking out on the inside. The shakiness from his hands, the way his heart felt like it was going to choke him if it didn’t stop any time soon. What is happening to him?

 

~

 

“Are you done playing this little game of yours?” His father griped at him indignantly the second the office doors were closed. To say Jumin didn’t expect his father to be upset is simply untrue. The whole trip, the idea of Zen being his boyfriend, they were supposed to do just that, upset him. What he didn’t expect was for the man to be _this_ rude about it.

More importantly, why is he referring to his fake relationship as a little game? Not a lie, of course, but where does he get the idea that Jumin plays games? He never has, not even as a child. Toys, minds, Jumin doesn’t play.

What he was sure of is he wasn’t going to give his father the satisfaction of finding him out. “I don’t understand.”

“The boy, your,” a heavy hand was waved in the air roughly, “ _boyfriend_ as you want to call him.”

Nodding his head, Jumin moved to take a seat on one of the leather chairs his sister had set up across from the big, glass desk. “Hyun, yes. What about him?”

“Enough is enough, son. You’ve made your point, whatever it may be.”

He’s never felt like rolling his eyes more than right now. If he’s made his point, then why does his father not tell him what it is exactly. It makes him uncomfortable to know Jumin is with another man, fine, it’s not his business anyway. His father never gets a word from Jumin when it comes to his relationships, why should Jumin care about his father’s, but the issue here is this isn’t about his relationship (nor non-relationship), it’s about his father not owning up to the mistake he made.

When he didn’t say anything else, his father turned away from him and looked at the decorations his sister had in the shelves against the wall. Pictures of her and their mother, of her and Juwon, there was even one of Jumin, from his graduation. The smile on his face faded as his father grabbed that framed picture and stared at it with heavy eyes.

“You never once used such ridiculous tactics to purposely upset me. It’s not like you to act this way, I know you best. You’re no longer a child, Jumin, you’re a grown man.”

Unbelievable. His father was more outraged over the fact that he _might_ like men, but no word was said about his forced engagement, This isn’t what he awaited. Disappointment hit him so hard Jumin felt his eyes sting. He wasn’t going to cry. Jumin doesn’t cry but he wishes he could. This was shocking to say the least, his father has never let him down this far, and now he doesn’t know what hurts the most. The fact that he was treated like a possession that could be given away, or that his father refuses to acknowledge the fact.

“Is this why you called me here?” His voice was cold and calculated, Jumin didn’t want him to see how hurt he was.

“Why else would I call you here for?”

 _To apologize for what you did_ , Jumin whispered in his mind. _To tell me that you didn’t mean it, that it was a mistake on your part._ Right now he’d take anything that stops the hollowness in his chest from growing. That he was beguiled to believe things that weren’t true. That Jumin does matter, that his life and his future are his and he didn’t mean to pretend they weren’t. That his feelings were important but horribly neglected _details_.

Jumin remained silent. He’s indignant that his father would be angry at him when it very well should be the other way around.

Doing something he’s never done before, he walked out of the office when nothing else was said. Zen was still waiting for him at the piano, his head down and against his arms as if he were asleep. Jumin said nothing and made no noise, all he came for was the bottle of wine he had been drinking. What he needs right now is an isolated place where he can think, where he can try and figure out what just happened between him and his father.

That place turned out to be his shared bedroom. If he were at his own home, Jumin would’ve sat on the couch facing the big windows and stared down at the city while petting his beautiful cat, but alas. The bed would do for now.

Nothing made sense to him anymore. Never before had his father given him indications that Jumin didn’t matter in his eyes. There had always been calls, cards, dinners, lunches, breakfasts. If he traveled his father would call to see how he was. When did any of that tell Jumin that he was eventually going to be given away to a woman for marriage? As he previously stated, nonsensical.

There’s no way his father doesn’t understand what he’s done. Yes, he tends to lose his mind over the women he dates but that was no excuse. He wasn’t just anybody, he was his _son_.

The bedroom door opened and Zen peaked in. “Hey,” he said before walking in and closing it behind him. “Are you okay?”

At this time Jumin would prefer to be alone. Or at least that’s what he believes. This place, so far away from home and from Elizabeth, it isn’t the same. He doesn’t have his comforts. “No,” he deadpanned. The younger man blinked at him, possibly expecting that answer. Jumin sighed, he wasn’t in the mood anymore. “I’d like to be alone.”

Red eyed flicked down to the bottle on his hands and narrowed before flicking back up to meet his. He knows he has the bad habit of drinking when he’s stressed or anxious, but it wasn’t the other’s concern. What he said next was certainly not what Jumin expected.

“Hey, how about we talk about your cat.” The nose twitch caught his attention more than he would’ve liked, which is anything more than never.

His worries magically disappeared, not because he was happy to talk about Elizabeth, but because the musical actor must have fallen and hit his head.

“Are you sick?” Jumin frowned and leaned over in concern. “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses, but why exactly do you want to talk about Elizabeth?”

Throwing his head back, Zen laughed until his shoulders shook. “No, I’m not sick.” The dopy smile on his face did things to Jumin’s body, to distract himself he poured another glass. “Jaehee once told me that the only way to successfully cheer you up was to talk about your cat. So here I am, about to have an allergy attack just by mentioning her.”

Looking away with feign indignation, Jumin brought the glass to his lips and sipped on the red wine. “Be honest, you love my cat.”

“Pft,” Zen tightened his lips as he tried not to laugh again. “Yeah right. How about I love y--love _you_ enough to suffer through this just so you won’t mope.”

The stutter was followed by Jumin’s heart. He had to remind himself that yes, Zen loves him as much as he loves the others and that it wasn’t anything different. They’ve all gotten out of their comfort zones to help each other out. They’ve put things aside to be there for the other. Either way, it didn’t fail to affect him deeply. Just as Zen was, Jumin was once unaware of how wonderful the friendship between everyone in the RFA was.

Snapping his fingers, Zen pulled his phone out and walked up to Jumin to sit next to him on the bed. “How about I sing to your cat, will that cheer you up?”

As confused as he was by the other’s statement, Jumin couldn’t help but to smile. “Why would you do something like that?”

Zen huffed and paused whatever he was messaging Yoosung. “Me mentioning your cat made you smile. Why wouldn’t I do something like that if I know it’ll make you happy?”

“I tend to not smile when I’m stressed,” he confessed. The deep red liquid in the glass on his hand shifted as he moved to set it down on the bedside table. “Which is often.” He was more stressed than not, honestly.

“Yoosung isn’t replying,” Zen lamented without looking a bit sad.

Shrugging at the words, Jumin crossed his arms across his chest and looked at him expectantly. “You said you’d sing to her to make me happy, I demand my happiness.”

Silver hair swung when Zen turned his head sharply. “Did you not hear me? He isn’t replying, if I video call him he won’t answer.” Both looked down at the phone in thought. “I guess I could leave a recording of my voice and he can show it to her?”

The whole situation was very sweet, Jumin can admit it. He never imagined Zen would do something like this. The last cat related thing he thought the younger man would get into was the commercial for Elizabeth’s food line. This, this was a treat to him and no one else, because Zen wanted to make him happy.

Zen sneezed a couple of times before he began to sing, then got embarrassed when he noticed he had Jumin’s attention on him in a very intense way. Who could blame him? His cat was about to be serenaded by the guy he’s infatuated with. This is what dreams are made of.

He cleared his throat and opened up the video app to record himself. “How was your day? There’s still a little bit of summer left,” Zen began to sing after successfully ignoring Jumin’s looks. “For some reason I had a tiring day. When the leaves changed color on the side of the road, that was when I finally lifted my head.”

The song stopped right there, leaving him to think three things; Zen was most definitely a professional when it came to singing in front of people, the way he sang right in front of him and into a video that’ll go to Elizabeth shows it. The man’s voice was smoother and stronger in person compared to the many videos of him he watched so long ago. There was a very big smile on his face without a doubt.

Even after the other went into a sneezing fit, then showed him that he in fact recorded himself singing, the video was sent and Jumin couldn’t take his eyes off him. Jumin was deeply touched by Zen’s caring nature. How can Jumin ever repay him. How can any item, no matter how high of value, ever compare to the way Zen makes him feel.

“See,” the younger man said with a matching grin, “that smile made it all totally worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the potatoes question their sexuality bahahaha god i love this story so much
> 
> 1\. Seven is perfection, a precious lil bby angel that must be protected <3333
> 
> 2\. BEN LMAO
> 
> 3\. Jumin is just… I don’t know why the writers made him so ditzy but it’s cute and I’m into it lmao he’s just so cute i can’t
> 
> 4\. It’s a fact that Zen was in a gang, but NOT a fact that he knows how to take people down. That’s just some random ass headcanon I threw in because why not, boy got the muscles
> 
> 5\. Can i just say that Zen knowing how to wield a knife is just UNFF i’m sure jumin thinks the same
> 
> 6\. ZEN /WAS/ /IN/ /A/ /GANG/ and I refuse to believe no one ever taught him cool shit like how to defend himself and how to attack offenders. 
> 
> 7\. However I do remember (I think it happened in one of the calls? I can’t recall) that Zen mentioned doing things he didn’t like, such as mugging people for money. So I went ahead and added it to the story. If it turns out not to be canon then whoops, count it as headcanon.
> 
> 8\. Jumin you literal, crass cinnamon roll ♥
> 
> 9\. ZEN. WOULD. WRITE. MUSIC. Fight me. He would, it’s his passion and I don’t doubt for a second it’s something he picked up. I think it fits his overall emotional personality. He’s said it himself, he’s a sensitive guy and I just really think he’d be a songwriter as well as a music composer (even if he isn’t the best). 
> 
> 10\. Zen making Jumin play the beginning of his song with him... (¬‿¬)
> 
> 11\. I HAD TO ADD SOME ANGST IM SORRY, the tag is there lol you were warned. There's more to come ・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ) 
> 
> 12\. But Zen always knows how to make everything better <333 Jumin doesn't deserve him, none of us deserve this precious jewel
> 
> 13\. The spaceship on Common Route 1 reveals that Zen would like to sing to Elly, so… here you go lol
> 
> Extra Note: KYUHYUN!!! When I hear Kyuhyun sing and play the piano, I picture Zen. So there ya go, that's the songs and lyrics I'm using for this story. If you like slow, pretty romantic songs in Korean, that's someone you might want to look into! The song in this chapter is called "At Gwanghwamun".
> 
> OMG YALL IM SUPER TOUCHED by all of your messages and reviews. I want you to know that I read them all, and I gush over them, show them off to my best friends, and reread them to inspire me to finish the next chapter. I feel so loved <3 I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story and stick to the end (soo much smut planned, so much lol rating will change soon). Anyway, thank you VERY MUCH ♥♥♥


	8. When Zen has a dream and Jumin finally lets his walls down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Psychic dreams, psychic dreams everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE take a moment to see these beautiful drawings someone made from scenes in the story:  
> [AMAZING TALENT 1](http://thumbelinart.tumblr.com/post/167991593229/on-one-hand-he-wanted-to-punch-the-face-on-the) , [AMAZING TALENT 2](http://thumbelinart.tumblr.com/post/168055693239/teach-me-something-somehow-i-found-myself-drawing)  
> THANK YOU [Amy](http://thumbelinart.tumblr.com/)!!!
> 
> Note: so, here’s the timeline of the game + this story so it all makes sense:  
> Game happens between April-October of 2016. Zen is 23 and Jumin is 26. A bit after the game events Jumin turned 27 (October). Then the following year, year 2017, Zen turned 24 (April).  
> -This story takes place the summer of year 2017: Zen is 24 and Jumin is 27.  
> Jumin is turning 28. I hope this makes sense.

DAY 6

* * *

 

 

Everything had been pleasant up until the colors disappeared and Zen found himself surrounded by emptiness and gray shadows. He blinked, trying to figure out what was going on, and whether the feeling he was getting was coming from a place he vaguely remembers. There was a screeching sound in the distance approaching him fast, and when it hit him it was so hard he felt his body shift in and out of itself within seconds. There was a flashing light illuminating everything around him, for a moment he thought he was alone until he saw black hair and a suit jacket, and his heart stopped, his inner clockwork running out of battery at the thought of the blood and the sounds coming from Jumin. It all froze as his eyes focused sharply. Everything felt so hot, his skin was crawling with fire, burning him into nothing on the spot.

Gasping for air, Zen sat up on the bed abruptly, not caring that his arms pulled on the covers as he brought his hands up to his face to see if they were still there even though he could see very little in the dark bedroom. His skin felt so clammy, beads of sweat rolled down his face making him aware of how his bangs were uncomfortably sticking to his temples.

Jumin. Where was Jumin. Reaching over without much control on his limbs, Zen brushed down on the other man’s outline over the covers a bit roughly, causing him to sigh softly in his sleep before stirring him awake. He was there, that was a huge relief. His dream had felt so real there were aches on his body that weren’t there before they went to bed. The last time he had a dream like this one was when Seven’s brother tried to--It didn’t matter anymore. The point is, he doesn’t like that he’s having another dream, this time with Jumin in it.

“Zen?” Jumin asked as soon as he opened his eyes and saw he was up. The sleep laced voice calmed him down but he couldn’t stop his heart from wanting to jump out of his throat. Zen had been so scared. “What’s wrong?” The older man sat up as well and turned on the lamp on his side, taking a moment to brush his hair back with his fingers.

“Don’t,” Zen choked out with some difficulty. His throat was very dry. “Don’t drive a car.”

Turning to look at the clock behind Zen, Jumin watched him with the most confusing look on his face and said, “it’s three in the morning, why would I drive a car?” Always the logical person, even after being unexpectedly woken up. It made Zen forget some of the worry and devastation he was feeling. He hopes the guy never changes, honest to God one of Jumin’s most adorable traits is his one track mind (when it wasn’t getting on his nerves).

“All I want is for you to tell me you won’t. Don’t do it, Jumin. I had a bad dream… I don’t want you to drive a car.”

Tired dark eyes blinked at him twice. “I know I’m a terrible driver but I didn’t know I was so bad it would cause nightmares.”

Zen laughed breathlessly at the joke, his heart finally slowing down from the frenzy.

“I won’t,” the young director agreed with a raise of his eyebrows, probably surprised at how serious Zen was acting. Jumin’s said it before, he doesn’t believe in premonitions or psychic dreams, but he isn’t the one living with them. Zen is. And so far everything he’s ever dreamed this way eventually happens.

It worries him that he won’t be able to stop it from happening, but he’s never warned anyone about his dreams before. This time Jumin was sleeping by him, and the previous psychic dream taught him to trust his gut feeling and not let things slide just because they might be unbelievable. If only this particular dream had been like the one he had of his princess before she came to their lives.

“I mean it. Jumin Han, do _not_ get in a car--Actually, don’t get in _any_ car--”

Jumin waved one of his hands before grabbing the covers and burying himself in them so he could go back to sleep. “Now you’re being dramatic. I have some stuff to do today and I’m not going to ignore it just because you had a bad dream. But like I told you, I won’t _drive_ a car.”

The room went back to being black when the older man turned the lamp off, and Zen sighed softly at the darkness around him. He can’t stop Jumin from carrying out his responsibilities, but he wishes he could at least be with him in case anything bad happens. In any case, he promised he wouldn’t drive a car and that was good enough for now. He’ll have to keep a close eye on the other _just in case_. Jumin mentioned he’d be gone, so Zen will most likely check up on him through text periodically.

Sunlight began to sift through the curtains a few hours later, reminding him that he didn’t sleep a wink after his conversation with Jumin. Jumin slept quietly though, and Zen had been happy listening to him breath from under the covers. This is the first time after a dream that he’s woken up next to someone. For _someone_ who could function normally in only a few hours of sleep, Jumin sure slept a lot and _heavily_. Not that Zen can say anything about that, he himself sleeps heavily too. An earthquake could happen and the two of them would probably die buried under debris from not waking up fast enough.

That last thought was meant to make him laugh but it only made him feel grim.

Instead Zen turned his body to the side so he could watch the older man some more. For his peace of mind. At some point he tried closing his eyes to see if he could at least take a nap but all he could see and hear was whatever happened during that car ride. _No. Don’t think about that_ , he told himself harshly before opening his eyes again.

The prettiest thing he could immediately pull up in his mind was his princess; her sweet smile, her cute laugh, her pretty bright eyes. Seven was a lucky bastard. Once upon a time he thought she was perfect for himself, but in the end she ended up being even more perfect for the redheaded crazy kid. It warms his heart though, instead of brewing hard feelings about it, all Zen can do is be happy Seven has someone like her in his life. That guy, he has a very dark past. Jumin’s past is also pretty shitty if he thinks about it, _all_ of their pasts are pretty shitty in very different ways.

His lips twitched when he focused on the other’s sleeping face. More like what could be seen of it. The man looked serene, nothing compared to how he was before going to bed. Jumin has never been more devastated than he was last night. The nightmare, Chairman Han’s private conversation, both made Zen want to comfort the older man. He wanted to do so many things. An active imagination quickly delivered the many ways he would go about it, and Zen felt his face heat up. What would it be like to wake up like this every day, reach over and kiss the other? Just--just reach over like nothing, because it’d be a normal thing. To press lips to warm, soft cheeks, forehead, eyelids, and let that be their morning alarms after an emotionally stormy night.

The two of them had been sitting very close at the piano and he thought of kissing him then. Hilariously enough, he had thought to himself the day _before_ that he would never kiss Jumin. _Oh yeah Hyun, how’s_ **_that_ ** _going_ , he thinks sarcastically, closing his eyes tightly at his own foolishness.

Fuck. **FUCK** . He was _so fucked_.

With a quiet groan, Zen pressed his head back on his pillow and covered his face with his hands. Why the fuck is his mind doing this to him? Or his heart. Whichever it was. Zen _cannot_ be falling in love with Jumin. He can’t.

Years. It’s been _years_ and he has done a great job at staying afloat with a pristine reputation. He can’t do that now that he’s getting bigger at a faster pace. Not to mention, because of _a guy_ . If he could talk to his hormones, he’d yell at them for doing this to him. There’s no way this isn’t just him feeling the weight of his everlasting loneliness. Zen was a people’s creature. He loves interacting and physical closeness, and to _not be alone_. Except his life keeps him pretty secluded at times (working most of your days makes developing relationships difficult), and he doesn’t even have time to care for a pet.

But Jumin? Come on! He’s the most frigid person he knows. Even after all his growing warmth, Jumin remains what he is deep down, an inexpressive, cold person.

His stomach turns at his own thoughts, a gentle reminder that all he can come up with is bullshit. He _knows_ for a fact that Jumin isn’t actually a cold person, nor is he inexpressive. The young director’s mind works different than most people’s. He’s very calculative and logical, and all the boring stuff, but he feels and he’s warm when he wants to. _And_ Zen wants all that warmth for himself, because he’s selfish, it does things to his chest and his mind, and now he can’t stop thinking about those lips and that face. And…

And he hopes the dream is nothing but that, a dream.

“Did you get any sleep at all?” Jumin asked out of the blue, startling Zen. He almost choked the second he moved his hands out of the way to look at him in the faint morning light. The man’s messy hair was messier. Zen wished he wasn’t under the shadow of worry and distress to appreciate the view with more enthusiasm. Jumin was cute as fuck in the mornings. It baffles him how Jumin Han and cute can be listed under the same category; the asshole he’s attracted to.

Zen shook his head and smiled lightly as he tried not to think about how complicated everything got in a matter of days. “Hey,” he called out softly, “how are _you_ feeling this morning?”

Jumin’s dark eyelashes brushed his cheeks as he closed his eyes again. Zen thought the other was faking being asleep as some sort of childish way to avoid the question, but when the older man exhaled and opened his eyes again he realized that he probably didn’t want to talk about it. He is a private man when it comes to his feelings, it makes sense to Zen although recent interactions between them lead him to believe that Jumin is changing.

“I wish Elizabeth was here,” was all the young director muttered before pulling the covers over his head and, as Zen predicted, childishly avoiding the question.

“I’m so confused,” he chuckled lazily, “I don’t know why people think you’re the mature one.” Jumin can be just as childish as Saeyoung. The difference was that Jumin had a more reserved personality while Saeyoung was _out there_. Not a bad thing per se. At least the older man was childish at times. He could be a truly boring old man. They would’ve never bickered, ever. Instead he’d get chided like a child on the chat rooms. It makes him shudder just thinking about it, Zen would take the obnoxious bickering over being treated like a child by Jumin.

The two fell into a comfortable silence. It was very early in the morning, not that the hour was anything new to the two of them, they haven’t been following their normal schedules here so it still made them both feel groggy and sleepy. _Or_ it could’ve been the whole waking up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Which remind Zen that a shower was immediately needed. All that sweating was only okay when working out and when--Anyway.

A movement under the covers caught his attention, bringing light back to what he wanted to talk to the man about. “Are you doing that thing you do with your hands when you’re stressed?” It’s so early but Jumin had been so upset the previous night that he wouldn’t blame him if this carried over to the next day. Whatever his dad said to him (or didn’t) wasn’t good or pleasant. It hurt him in ways Zen’s never seen the other hurt. Not that they have a history of seeing each other often, but this was Jumin he was talking about. Mr. Emotions-are-a-waste-of-energy.

When he didn’t get a reply, Zen took matters into his own hands and slowly lifted the covers from his side to take a peak. “Jumin, if you want to talk about it I’ll listen,” he offered sincerely. “Was it something to do with our fake relationship?”

It was interesting to see the older man lost in thought. His dark eyes always so _soft_ when his mind wanders.

“I’ve never…”

Zen was surprised at the words. He didn’t expect the man to actually start talking about what happened. To be honest, Zen expected to be told to mind his business because this wasn’t that bar they met at weeks ago, and Jumin wasn’t drunk.

A sigh followed the beginning of that sentence, as if speaking about this was taking every ounce of power. “I’ve never felt this disappointed in my father,” he finally confessed. Sharp eyebrows dipped as he frowned, and all Zen could do for now was shift a bit closer so he could lean on the headboard comfortably. “I suppose I never thought I’d ever _be_ this disappointed in him.”

He was sympathetic. Jumin’s dad is all he had growing up. He’s genuinely all alone in this now that V is gone.  “If you feel like crying, you can cry on my shoulder.”

His words were in no way meant to be taken as anything other than emotional support but, instead of a thank you, Zen got a laugh from the young director. Not that he minds it, Jumin’s laugh was _different_ (in a good way), possibly because he rarely gets to hear it.

“Hyun, I don’t cry,” he was told as if he had forgotten the fact. Zen rolled his eyes because, come on, there’s _no way_ Jumin doesn’t cry. Like, he can take it as an ‘I rarely cry’ comment, except the other man’s tone tells him that no, Jumin doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.

“Hence the ‘if’, but be like that,” he huffed. Interestingly enough, the other was clearly sad. “I’m sorry your dad disappointed you.” He could go on about how he shouldn’t expect anything else from people even if they’re family, but Zen wasn’t _that_ pessimistic and he knew Jumin wouldn’t listen to it anyway.

It was ironic, thinking back on it, how Jumin remained faithful to his family even though they lacked warmth and closeness. Zen on the other hand, he had no problem turning his back on them and walking away. He could admire that about him. Despite his _many_ shortcomings, Jumin is very loyal. Jumin Han was a very flexible man, he was compromising. Zen on the other hand, wasn’t. He couldn’t put up with his family’s negativity just to keep them around. Anyone would think they’d be the opposite. Zen being the open, loving person he was and Jumin being the cold and calculative person he was. Life was funny in many ways.

Jumin finally shifted up and moved to rest on the headboard in the same fashion as Zen. “It wasn’t your wrongdoing, you don’t need to apologize for it.”

 _My God_. “Jumin, I’m being sympathetic,” he muttered, failing to show his exasperation because somehow, someway, Jumin taking things literally became an endearing quality of the man.

“Oh.”

The two of them turned to look at each other, Jumin a sleepy mess and Zen a mess in general, and then he realized that at some point in the last couple of days something had shifted in the air between them. The way Jumin softened his eyes the longer they stared at one another. The way Zen felt like giving him a hug just to help him forget about his dad for a little bit. Those were telltales, they had to be. Before he would’ve brushed off whatever the older man was feeling as his problem, but he no longer feels like Jumin’s problems should be his own. They could be Zen’s too. He could be there for him if he needed him to.

Lips curved and the moment was gone because Jumin turned away from him to stare at the rest of the bedroom in a daze. “I thought he’d apologize for attempting to marry me off to Sarah,” he began, his words so heavy Zen wondered how he wasn’t choking on them. “All he did was tell me he knew this,” he pointed at the two of them with his hand, “was fake and that I made my point.”

Zen wanted to repeat that his dad _didn’t_ apologize, so how exactly did he know Jumin’s point was made, but he kept his mouth shut. He was afraid that speaking up and giving his opinion would shy the man into silence.

“I used to have nightmares,” he breathed out softly, as if he were sharing a secret between them. “My anxiety would either keep me up, or wake me up. It was… the worst time of my life. I couldn’t keep my emotions in check, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a certain way. I never had a problem suppressing my feelings until then.”

It’s sad to hear him say something like that. Of course there was nothing wrong with the way he felt during the tumultuous time, it was _normal_. Everyone has a breaking point. Even the stretchiest rubber band has its limits. Not to mention, how come he never told this to any of them? They could’ve all tried to help him in some way, shape or form. He didn’t have to go through all of that alone.

“I would’ve been okay with a simple apology. An acknowledgment of what he did wrong. Instead I was told that I’m an adult and that I should act like one…”

Jumin wasn’t impervious to personal attacks such as what his dad did. What a--Ugh, he wanted to march right up to the old man and tell him where he can shove his so called feelings for his son.

“Do you want me to trash his office?” He suggested under the heat of the moment. Zen’s protective nature was flaring up like crazy thinking of Jumin being all alone, waking up from all the anxiety the engagement caused him. Seeing him so beat down did a number on him. Jumin has always been a sturdy force, tall and so sure of himself.

“Why would I want you to do that?”

Zen shrugged slumped back on the headboard. “I don’t know dude, your dad’s supposed to protect you from a situation like that, not shove you in it. He deserves some sort of consequences.”

The two turned to look at each other again and Jumin smiled at him. “You’re very quick to jump into aggression.”

“You can’t do it yourself. I’ll gladly take up on the role.”

Jumin’s dark eyes shone with playfulness as he said, “which is the role of, what, my protector?”

“Sure,” he says without batting an eyelash, without missing a beat, “yeah. I’ll protect you. I’ll defend you if I have to as well.”

There was a moment of silence, and before he knew it Jumin was pulling the covers off him and getting off the bed to start getting ready. “Just don’t go stabbing anyone for me, okay?”

“Stab everyone, got it,” Zen proclaimed loudly before the bathroom door closed completely. He loves doing that to Jumin, it seems to irritate the man. Zen did have amazing knife wielding skills though, sometimes the action scenes on musicals help him show his moves off, but he digresses.

If Jumin was cracking up jokes then it meant he was in a better mood. Good. Zen really tried super, extra hard  to cheer him up the previous night after singing to the cat. His skin still felt itchy, but whatever for that man. Zen’s learning to be more loyal, and starting with Jumin seems like a good challenge. V and Rika weren’t an option any longer, although he did his part with Rika…

His hair shuffled as he shook his head. Instead of thinking about that, he decided to talk to a certain someone. It wasn’t his beautiful princess, but instead someone more level headed and that knew Jumin and his dad.

ZEN:   
Hello! Have you closed the cafe?

Jaehee Kang:   
Hi Zen :) Yes, Momo just left. Today was a busy day… which I’m glad but sometimes I wish my cafe wasn’t so popular.

ZEN:   
I mean, you’re living the life, enjoy it while you can :P anyway, how’s it going?

Jaehee Kang:   
Would you like a phone call instead?

ZEN:   
Works for me :))

He stared at the screen until her name showed up, letting him know she wanted to connect with him. Giving the bathroom door a quick glance, Zen got off the bed and walked out the glass doors into the patio while he answered.

“It’s been a while,” he greeted cheerfully, always happy to talk to Jaehee.

The older woman laughed on the other side of the phone. “Yes, last time we spoke you complained about Jumin. Is he giving you trouble again?”

“Actually,” he blushed at the thought of their previous conversation, “he hasn’t been giving me any trouble. In fact, we started getting along very well. I guess you could say we’re good friends now.”

“Oh,” she sounded surprised. “I’m glad to hear that. He was always firm on getting through to you. As funny as it was to see him be irritated at you and the way you’d throw things back at his face, I was the one that would get the repercussions of that.”

It made him feel bad that she would be the one getting the short end of the stick. “I’m sorry about that, but at least you don’t work for him anymore!”

“True. Anyway, I take it he isn’t bossing you around anymore?”

“Not at all. To be honest, I was a bit… something happened that made me say all those things. After that things went back to normal between us. Or--” He almost blurted out how things aren’t necessarily back to normal, but he caught himself. “What I mean is, we’re good.”

“I think you rubbed off on him.” The two laughed for a moment, making Zen feel homesick. He couldn’t wait to be back in Korea and see the rest of his RFA family. He’s going to invite Yoosung to eat jjajangmyeon, and maybe Seven can join them if he wants to eat something other than his beloved chips. He’ll definitely pay Jaehee a visit, he’s only been to her cafe twice since is opened and he’s starting to feel like a bad friend.

“I hope,” he breathes out a bit too happily, but before Jaehee can comment on it, he decides to change the topic. “Hey, I was wondering, what can you tell me about his dad?”

The older woman hummed as she thought about the answer. “You mean in regards to Jumin, or in general?” She asked, but then continued on with what she was going to say. “The man is very smart and business savvy, he does what he has to do to keep the company on the top. He’s very doting, constantly gives Jumin things even when he doesn’t need them or want them. But…”

“But?” He could feel his heart beating faster just at the thought of finding out more about the idiot Chairman.

“He tends to get loose when he gets into a new relationship. Those times were always the most stressful ones for Jumin.”

Get loose, as in go crazy? He can’t imagine the rigid looking old man ‘getting loose’. Although, he could kind of see what the other means by that if he squints. Ara is a very young woman, she’s younger than Jumin but older than Zen. That has to be awkward, She could be _with_ Jumin. Hell, she could be the man’s daughter!

“Chairman Han tends to disregard a lot of things in favor of pleasing his girlfriends. To be honest, I hated that. Like I mentioned, it was always me getting the repercussions so I had reasons to be displeased with the man’s actions.”

She didn’t have to justify her feelings, Zen hates the guy even though they spoke briefly once, days ago, and he wasn’t pleased at all with his presence.

“He also treats Jumin like a child sometimes. I find it hard to believe, but he does. Lectures him as if he weren’t a grown man who practically runs the table of directors in the company.”

It was hard for Zen to imagine Jumin being lectured like a child. The man was… Nothing about him (with the exception of his stupid and weird humor) called for a lecture of any kind.

“I have to ask,” she began as he remained silent while he thought, “why the sudden interest in Chairman Han? Is _he_ giving you problems?”

 _Yes, yes he is_. He’s making Jumin get into shit moods and Zen was tired of watching them dance around The Issue™ instead of addressing it, apologizing for it, and move on. But he can’t say that to Jaehee, Jumin only talked to Zen because he got him tipsy enough to spill the beans so to speak. And what he said moments ago, well, that was in the privacy of their shared mornings. It’s obvious the other was keeping this from everyone else.

“No.” Being and actor was a blessing sometimes. “I was curious because he has a weird relationship with his kids. They barely spend any time together.”

The sliding of the glass doors distracted him and he turned around to see Jumin standing by them, pulling on the sleeves of his suit. “I’m going to be gone all day. I asked Charles to set up meetings with some of the friends he has,” the older man explained even though he had no reason to. Zen understood the other was just as married to his job as Zen himself was, there was little to explain. “You’re free to do whatever you want. Call me if you need anything,” Jumin added before glancing around, probably to see what he was doing out in the patio.

“Alright,” he replied somewhat awkwardly. Why was Jumin being like this? “Thanks. Remember what you promised… And don’t forget to eat.”

There was a pause before Jumin nodded once and turned to go back inside.

“Ah, that was--” Jaehee spoke, reminding him that he was still on the phone with her. His heart paused for a second, making him feel as if he was caught with his hand inside the cookie jar. Why that is, it’s beyond him. “I suppose the two of you are definitely getting along now.”

Zen closed his eyes and threw his head back with a mute, melodramatic scream. “Yeah,” he croaked weakly, “these have been the weirdest six days of my life…”

The older woman hummed softly. “Weird in a good way or in a bad way?”

 _Weird in every way_ , he thought.

Instead of being upfront, he decided to have a one on one with her. Jaehee was his favorite RFA member, not because she was his self proclaimed fan, but because she had an admirable way of always keeping a cool and leveled head. Like Jumin, actually, which would explain why the man picked her as his executive assistant.

“Jaehee,” he began cautiously only because he didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. Not that Jumin was a wrong idea--Ah, he makes no sense the more he lets himself think. “Is it possible to drastically change the way you think about someone?”

“I don’t see why that wouldn’t be possible. We changed the way we thought of Momo after she joined the organization, didn’t we?”

That’s right. He completely forgot about the fact that once upon a time Momo was untrustworthy and possibly dangerous. That changed _very_ fast for everyone, not just him, so it tends to slip his mind when he thinks about the young beauty.

“Now let me ask you something that I honestly don’t believe but,” she took a moment to laugh softly, “did you really sing to Elizabeth?”

Zen’s face heat up so fast his immediate reaction to the question was to turn around and walk up to a wall so he could press his face against the cool cement. He can’t escape this because there was a recording that he sent to Yoosung along with a message that read ‘do me a solid and play this to the stupid cat’. And now he knows why he never got a reply even throughout the night. The kid was busy telling everyone else about it. It seems that nothing can happen between any of them because at some point they’re all going to know about it.

“Listen,” his voice was strained, “we had this conversation, the one about me being too nice.” Turns out he’s not just too nice, he’s too _soft_ for the idiot executive and now he keeps doing questionable things without being asked to.

Laughter drifted out of the phone speaker, making him smile despite the strong and uncomfortable churning his stomach kept doing. “I’ll go ahead and brush it off as him being manipulative. There’s no way you would willingly do something like that.”

One of Zen’s eyebrows went up at the implications because, yeah, Jumin is very much a manipulative bastard except he didn’t come up with the idea, Zen did. And Zen had been so happy to see him smile the way he did after he sent the recording regardless of how ridiculous or hilarious Jumin found it. At that moment all he cared for was Jumin. The nice curve of his lips, the way his sharp eyes soften at the corners, how his eyebrows go up just a tad bit making him look--

Pfft.

“Jaehee, I’m...” So fucked. Oh so fucked. “I’m going to go shower. Let’s chat again soon.”

“Sure! It was nice talking to you. I hope things turn out… less weird from now on.”

“I sure hope so,” he muttered softly.

Right before they hung up, Jaehee laughed and cheered for him with a cute, “you got this.”

He most certainly _does not_ have this.

Zen sighed as he stared down at the screen, watching it turn off on its own. It was so awkward, having those thoughts and feelings about Jumin but not being able to just _talk_ about them. It’s not to say he couldn’t, the thing is Zen’s so used to dealing with his own problems _on his own_. Ironic and hypocritical, that’s what this unnamed thing  with Jumin was.

His eyes flicked up to Juwon who stood against one of the pillars that decorated the patio that lead to the pool. Zen hadn’t seen him when he walked out which meant the kid was either hidden somewhere around the corner, or he just walked out.

“Hey,” he greeted him, making the youngest Han sibling turn around to give him a nod. “I didn’t know you were out here, I would’ve taken my call somewhere else.”

The kid shrugged and turned back around to stare off into the city line. “I just got here, didn’t want to interrupt your call so I just stayed here. Want one?” He said, pulling out a box of cigarettes from his pants and raising it up in the air towards Zen. He swallowed hard.

“Uh, no thank you,” he managed to choke out even though the truth was that yes, he wanted one _so bad_.

“I heard your conversation,” Juwon smiled, secretly too, which made Zen panic for a moment thinking the other heard something that might have given him and Jumin away. “If you want to know about my dad, why don’t you just ask Jumin?”

He could feel his soul coming back to his body. There was nothing from his conversation with Jaehee that could’ve given away their little secret, but for all he knows the kid’s good at spying and has been looking into him and Jumin’s relationship.

“Yeah, about that,” how can he put it, “your brother is useless when it comes to your dad. He will tell me all the great things about him and that’s about it.” His eyes looked the kid up and down, wondering if he could be trusted. The two of them haven’t had a conversation outside their introduction, so Zen isn’t entirely sure he can talk about this with him. But who cares. Yolo, to quote Seven. It’s not like he’s worried about Chairman Han’s opinion of him. It’s as low as it can be at the moment over the fact that he isn’t what the old man imagined for his son, and to be honest Zen isn’t desperate for jobs so it wouldn’t matter if he’s no longer hired by the company.

“I’m not surprised. He’s just as bad as our dad is.” The comment was spat and laced with bitterness which surprised him. “The two have always been together, it wouldn’t surprise me if Jumin ends up being just like him.”

“I don’t think so,” he defended the cat loving man, finding it unfair for Juwon to lump him in with his dad just like that. “Your brother is… Jumin is genuinely nice, not that your dad isn’t nice, but he can be…”

Juwon moved about to sit on one of the lounge chairs, and Zen followed suit, wanting to see where this conversation would take him. On one side he wants to be surprised by the kid’s words, but on the other he’s noticed how distant the kid is from everyone else, Gaeul included.

“Just say it, my dad is a royal dick when he wants to be. Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of that for most of my life.”

 _He must be the troublemaker_ , he thinks with a quick glance at the box of cigarettes.

“I’m not going to lie and say your dad is one of my favorite people, because he isn’t. I don’t even like him one bit.” Zen decided to return the favor and be honest with him. If that gets him in trouble, well, who cares. Jumin might get offended but the older man can get the fuck over it.

“Does my brother know?”

Zen raised his eyebrows while running a hand back through his hair. What a cute question. “Oh, he does. It doesn’t mean he likes it. Say, what did you mean by being in the receiving end of your dad’s shitty attitude most of your life?”

Juwon took a moment of silence as he flicked the unlit cigarette from one finger to the other in thought. At the end all he did was shrug and turn to give Zen a heartbreaking look. The one he got from Jumin when they were sitting at the bar, drinking. “I don’t know, he never liked me.”

His lips parted open as he watched his eyes reflect so much hurt and pain. This time it left him speechless. The feelings were so raw, unlike Jumin’s controlled ones.

“Everyone constantly talks about what a good man he is, but I have yet to see that.”

Zen could say the same exact thing. All he’s known about the man is what a shitty parent he is. Okay, Jumin didn’t turn out too shitty all things considered. But he assumes that’s because the young director wasn’t technically raised by the man. His nannies raised him.

The youngest Han sibling sighed and lit his cigarette. “Are you a golddigger?” He muttered the question before taking a drag of it, “You look like you like expensive things.”

If he could, he would slap the kid upside the head for making such assumptions. If getting lip is the reason why his parents are hard on him, he can see why. “First of all, thank you. But no, actually, I don’t care about your family’s money.”

The kid looked him up and down. “I don’t know, you look like you get stuff done often.”

“ _Excuse me_ ?” Zen would clutch his pearls if he had any. “I don’t get _any_ work done.” Not that he understands exactly what the statement is supposed to mean.

“You’re telling me that your hair and eyes are real, and your beautiful face, all those muscles, and--”

“Aish,” Zen exclaimed in irritation, startling Juwon in the process. “If you’re going to act like a brat I’m leaving,” he deadpanned. “ _Yes_ , I’m very much real.”

The annoying little shit shrugged and smirked. “You’re still not the type I pictured my brother would go for.” His eyes flicked away in thought, then he waved his hand in the air for a moment before he smirked again. “For starters, I thought you’d have different _equipment_. Quiet, boring, a doormat.”

Narrowing his eyes, Zen stared at him for a while in indignation. “Your opinion of Jumin is not surprising, but don’t think so low of him. Like I said, he’s a very nice person deep, **_deep_ ** down.”

Juwon scoffed at him, dismissing his claim from the very beginning. “I don’t have to suck up to him, you do.”

Touche.

“So,” he bit his lips as he looked around the bright morning sky, “how’s it going?” Zen wasn’t with Jumin, he’ll probably never see these people again, but he felt the need to talk to the kid. His heartstrings were tugged by Juwon’s look from moments ago. He can’t believe how much of a bad person Jumin’s dad is, and how much the man still defends him.

The kid tried not to smile, he noticed, and decided to humor him even if the attempt at a conversation seemed to irritate him. “It’s going. Can’t wait to leave this place though.”

“Where do _you_ live?” Jumin was in Korea, Junghee was in America, all he needed to know was the brat’s home country to complete his Han Siblings Basic Information archive.

“France.”

That was such a random country, but then again, Jumin studied overseas as well. “Are you ever planning on moving to Korea?”

“Maybe.” Zen didn’t expect a response, his question was egged by curiosity more than the other’s willingness to share information with him, a complete stranger, but color him surprised. “I thought I was going to be a part of the company just like Jumin is…”

Zen frowned. “But?” He wanted the other to finish that thought. Was he not smart enough or something? Hard to believe. The Han’s seem not only incredibly educated but also very smart people.

Juwon shrugged again. “Jumin started his training at fourteen, I’m twenty-one and I’ve yet to visit the headquarters.”

Jaehee did mention that Chairman Han was a very business savvy man, therefore he knew what he was doing, and if Juwon hasn’t been to any sort of training it’s because he doesn’t think he’d be a good addition to the company. Or so that’s what Zen assumes based on the information he has. For all he knows the kid is irresponsible and not a hard worker.

“You could ask Jumin to let you shadow him or something,” Zen suggested absentmindedly. Jumin would certainly agree to be closer to his brother. It’s not only spending time with him, but also doing something he loves. “I’m sure he’d let you.”

The youngest Han sibling didn’t get to say anything because Junghee came around the corner and smiled at them when she spotted them sitting on the lounge chairs. “Hey you two!” She greeted them cheerly. The cute little smile on her face was wiped away as soon as she noticed the smoke from the cigarettes. “Juwon, seriously?”

Her brother rolled his eyes at her and crushed the small stick on the floor before getting up. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Zen was so confused. “You don’t have to leave, you know that right?” Juwon simply shrugged (an action he noticed the kid likes to default to) and began to walk away.

“Juwon, do you want to come see the final stages of my wedding venue with me?” Junghee’s shoulders slumped when her brother waved off her invitation and disappeared around the corner. “What’s with him? He never wants to do anything with me…”

The two ripped their eyes away from where Juwon disappeared to and turned to look at each other. “Maybe he’s in a bad mood,” Zen suggested before getting up as well.

The young woman sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Yeah, his girlfriend wasn’t able to come along with him, so he probably feels a bit lonely here. Anyway, how about you Hyun, do you want to come see the final stages of my wedding venue?”

That’s right, Charles is probably in the meetings Jumin mentioned earlier, thus leaving Junghee to do things on her own for today. Zen could roll his own eyes at the executive. Right when he starts to think that Jumin might not be so bad after all, the guy goes and showcases how selfish and self centered he is.

“Do you want me to yell at Jumin for taking your fiance with him today?”

At least that got a nice laugh out of her, brightening Zen’s day. “Nah, don’t worry about it. Charles is useful when he comes along as much as he is when he doesn’t. You seem to have very good taste though! I’d appreciate it if you take a look at everything along with me!”

That would give him something to do, plus he loves making Jumin’s sister happy. “Sure. I just need to shower and get ready.”

“I’ll wait for you,” she agreed before she turned around and walked away. Her hair, despite it being long, reminded him of Jumin’s own silky, styled tresses. He waited until she was gone to groan in despair.

Even throughout the shower, and the two setting off to their little errands Zen felt like groaning, and crying, and punching a wall.

Sometimes Zen wishes he could throw tantrums because of frustrating situations. From the moment Junghee’s similarities to Jumin began to distract him, Zen should’ve gotten a clue. It was the moment the trip went from pleasant to the most confusing and frightening. It’s not everyday one develops feelings for a guy once heatedly hated.

There are things Jumin does that still get under Zen’s skin. And yet, _and yet_ this was not enough for his brain to halt it’s race to ruin his life. Jumin isn’t wrong, Zen does _not_ know how to be consistent. In his twenty-four years of life, Zen has yet to encounter a moment where saying no is difficult. He’s so hardheaded, set in his ways, his way or the highway, you name it, yet the older man seems to be an exception to any of those things.

Jumin can very likely ask him to jump off a cliff and Zen would probably question it half a second before plummeting to his (very well deserved) death. That’s how bad he has it. That’s how black and white things have become in his mind for _no reason whatsoever_.

What has changed? What’s so different? So Jumin isn’t as big of an asshole as he lets on. So Jumin happens to treat him nice for once. Whoopie doo. Zen isn’t a sucker, he _isn’t_ . Being treated nice isn’t good enough for him to bend over and take anything from anyone. His life consists of people praising him and treating him like some sort of mystical creature, Jumin smiling at him and being pleasant isn’t anything incredible or amazing (despite those things being worthy of the label mystical) and certainly _not_ worthy of his undivided attention.

And all of that, that’s just the _beginning_. If he gets past any of those questions and thoughts, if he ventures down the magical path of ‘what ifs’, he’s bound to get crushed under all the reasons why any of the humoring thoughts are a bad, bad idea.

Jumin Han is married to his job. That’s okay, Zen is married to his job too, but that’s because he isn't in love  _right now_ . Jumin? He’s just weird and probably _will never_ be in love (another problem, but that’ll have its own little mental crisis moment). There’s no way in hell Zen or anyone else could compete with that. C&R is Jumin’s comfort, it’s his safety blanket. The one thing that he knows inside and out, that he can easily control and arrange to his whims without a problem. And Lord knows the man is a control freak. Him, the rest of the RFA, his employees, their moms, they all know how controlling the young director is.

Could Zen live with someone like that? _Hell no_. His own family couldn’t make decisions for him, what makes his stupid brain think that Jumin is going to succeed? (Or that Zen would be okay with him trying).

 _He’s the exception_ , he immediately thought against his will.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” he gritted irritably at the intrusive thought. The very annoying, very unwanted, very accurate intrusive thought.

Junghee watched him as they walked down the lobby of the elegant hotel where her wedding reception will take place. “Hyun, are you okay?” She was obviously concerned for him, and Zen felt bad.

“Yes, sorry. I was just thinking… Wow, the hotel is very nice,” he added with a friendly smile, mind immediately taken over by his inner turmoil.

So Jumin is the exception. And he reiterates, whoopie doo. That doesn’t mean the man is in love with him or will ever be in love with him. Zen has a theory that Jumin is incapable of loving due to the cold and distant childhood he had. There’s a reason he’s emotionally inept. And as simple and unimportant as that sounds, it’s a crucial detail about his life and therefore his future. How can Jumin love properly when he never learned to? The only reason he dares make such assumptions is because Zen himself has a similar problem, he knows.

As dumb as he might come off sometimes, Zen isn’t stupid. There are deep scars left from his fallout with his family, from the way he was groomed by his mom and his brother. He has a hard time trusting people, not to mention he has very deep seethed self esteem issues. Being aware hasn’t fixed them, they’re still there and they’ll probably always will be.

Going a few steps back to Zen’s marriage to his job… He’s so focused on that and he’s so adamant of falling in love _for a reason_. There’s no way he could comfortably be with someone when he can’t read their minds. He could never really know whether the person is with him because of his looks or because they genuinely enjoy him as a person. The thought sometimes becomes too daunting to someone like himself. Zen falls too hard too deep--

Zen stopped walking, confusing Junghee in the process. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to,” she offered with a sweet smile. “You do look tired.”

He shook his head. “It was a rough night, but I’m fine, trust me. I keep getting lost in thought, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry! Let’s go do this and then we can go to the beach and walk around, maybe that’ll clear your head!”

That did sound like a good idea. “Deal.”

What if Zen has already fallen down a metaphorical cliff? What if he’s fallen too hard and too deep? There can be a million arguments going on in his head but if that’s the case then those same arguments are pointless. His chest constricted at the thought of being in love with Jumin.

That should be a clue as well, right?

The two walked around the big ballroom, looking at the details and being shown pictures along with the area of where things would be placed. He was far too distracted to give much input, but Junghee was happy enough to have him agree with her choices on colors, flowers, and fabrics. The wedding was going to be beautiful and he couldn’t wait to see her get married. He wishes he could pay more attention to what was going on though.

It’s funny how impactful this trip has been, ignoring the negative aspects of it. Junghee has become someone precious in such a short time. He can’t believe Jumin never invited her to Korea, or at least talk about her with them. If only the two had gotten closer earlier…

An arm wrapped around his and Zen snapped out of his thoughts to give Junghee a surprised look. Her lips were pursed in a small pout as she said, “Hyun, you could’ve told me you weren’t feeling good. I wouldn’t have dragged you along. I do appreciate your company.”

“Of course! I would’ve come along anyway,” he grinned but immediately stopped when he noticed the mischievous look on Junghee’s dark eyes.

“You must be a sucker for Han siblings, huh?”

His mouth fell open for a moment. “Aish,” he exclaimed, feigning offense to her comment. “I happen to be a very nice guy, that’s all.” The other didn’t believe him, and instead let go of him to walk along and enter the part of the room where they’ll have the open bar. “Hey, I’m _not_ a sucker, okay?”

“Sure thing, Hyun.”

It was good natured teasing, he knew that, but the comment bothered him in an almost pleasant way. Could he be a Han sibling sucker after all? Surprisingly, the thought doesn’t upset him. This was, after all, not new. What was new, was the fact that others are able to point it out so blatantly. Then again, Seven has been annoying in the past, talking about how the two of them constantly narrow their minds to each other when they bump into each other in the RFA chat rooms.

ZEN:   
are you in a meeting?

Texting him like this was odd, but the dream was still in the back of his mind even though the front was taken over by his crisis.

Jumin Han:   
Yes.

His fringe flew as he blew air from relief. If the idiot dies in a car accident, Zen will be pissed as hell. He was warned. But so far so good.

ZEN:   
don’t forget to eat something, i’m with your sister

Jumin Han:   
I won’t  
OK

“Ready? We should grab something to eat on the way to the beach,” Junghee suggested before glancing down at his phone. “Oh, is my brother okay?” She asked.

Zen nodded and walked them out of the hotel. “Yes, I was checking up on him, that’s all.” Which sounded weird in his mind. But it is what it is.

The two stopped at a restaurant to get what Junghee says is American Chinese food, which he was down for, ge has no problem trying food, and they ordered takeout to eat at the beach instead of at the restaurant. They drove for a while before the ocean came into his view once again.

They walked along, holding their bags of food and being followed by a bodyguard that he totally forgot was there with them. Being around Jumin for multiple days in a row has gotten him used to some things he always thought hard to ignore. As funny as that outcome was, he still didn’t like the feeling of being constantly followed.

When she found a spot on the sand where they could sit, Zen took off one of the shirts he had on, threw some of the wooden debris aside, and laid it down for her to sit on and not get her clothes sandy. “Good thing I like to layer,” he said even though he would’ve just taken his shirt off if that weren’t the case. He’s a gentleman and would never let a lady sit straight in the sand when she wasn’t in her swimsuit or appropriate clothing.

“You’re the perfect boyfriend,” she gushed as she began to pull the boxes from the bag. “I’m definitely jealous of Jumin. I wish I could’ve met someone like you when I was a bit younger…”

Zen didn’t feel like making a comment, but he wondered if she had doubts about Charles. Junghee caught on to his thoughts, most likely from his silence, and shook her head with a laugh.

“I don’t mean anything by it. I just think this would be a very different wedding if I had met someone as young as us, and as good as you. I mean, you’re the whole package! All you’ve done is show how perfect you are.”

Yeah, okay, he wasn’t _that_ perfect. A little bit. To have someone tell him all of this so sincerely made him feel embarrassed. “I don’t know,” he sort of deflected some of the praise, “I’m just a nice person, that’s all.”

“Mm,” Junghee picked up a piece of chicken and popped it in her mouth graciously before looking off to the ocean. “It makes me so happy that you care so much for my brother. I always wondered how bad he’d have it if he’d turn out like Father. He’s going to be twenty-eight this October.”

The thought alone makes him want to not only burst out laughing from imagining Jumin being a playboy, but also cringe at how terrible that would be. “I’m just glad he didn’t. I bet V worked hard to avoid that outcome.” He wonders if it’s all thanks to having someone like V by his side. “You would’ve loved V, his best friend. He was a great person. Always caring and kind towards me. He had no mean bone in his body.”

“It says a lot about my brother if he had someone like that as his closest friend,” Junghee agreed.

“Yeah,” Zen’s face warmed. “Jumin _is_ a great person. I feel lucky to call him my friend.” A somewhat embarrassing but eye opening confession. Jumin is an exceptional friend.

There was a pause between them. “You mean your boyfriend,” the younger woman tilted her head in question.

“Ah--Of course! But we were friends first!”

Junghee nodded slowly as she tried to understand what he meant. “So,” she paused and blushed profoundly, “I decided to Noogle you deeper last night. I was curious! But… I have to say I’m impressed with how the two of you have kept your relationship from the public. My brother is occasionally followed by cameras, and you’re a public figure which means lots of eyes are on you at all times. I couldn’t find anything linking the two of you other than that one organization you’re both in.”

Zen’s eyes widened. To refrain from talking, he shoved chicken in his mouth and took his sweet, long time to chew it.

“I bet the two of you sneak around a lot, huh?” Junghee pouted at him again, filling in the gaps with her own assumptions. “I’m sorry it has to be that way. Times are changing though! So hold on tight! I’m just glad you’ve stuck around this long,” her little pink tongue made it out of her lips.

With one of his hands, Zen hit his chest and swallowed hard. “Yeah, um,” he was unsure on what to say. “Dating your brother is like dating a piece of wood!” His eyes instantly moving to the debris he cleared moments earlier. “A splintery, dry, boring, _loving_ rough piece of wood…”

That didn’t come out right, but Junghee began to laugh uncontrollably so he wasn’t going to complain.

Silence filled the space between them as they ate in peace while watching the ocean waves slowly sweep in. His body, while still vibrating with stress, was less tense. He found a break from the worries he keeps going on about in his head, which he is very thankful for. Junghee was right, this trip to the beach cleared his mind.

“I can’t believe my bridal shower is tomorrow!” The young woman proclaimed in excitement while throwing her arms above her head. “And a few days later will be my wedding…”

“Are you nervous?” Zen would probably be super nervous. Mostly because the idea of having someone who would promise to spend the rest of their life with you sounds not only like a fairytale, but also something he doesn’t think he’d actually find. It can’t be easy, can it? People who do must work super hard at it? Someone like that doesn’t just _exist_.

Junghee pressed her lips tightly as she made a sound with the back of her throat, her eyes focused on a couple walking by along the ocean. “I’m excited. I can’t wait to start a family with Charles. He wants two children, a boy and a girl, and I couldn’t agree more although I would prefer two girls.” Her lips stretched into a contagious smile. “That may be me speaking from an only girl child perspective.”

Zen chuckled. “Yeah, if I ever have children I’d like a cute little girl! How adorable would she be with a face like this one?” He framed his face with one hand, displaying his charming qualities to the younger woman.

“She’d be drop dead gorgeous, that’s for sure,” Junghee agreed with a nod. “Are you and my brother planning on having children?”

“That,” he began in panic, “is a conversation we’re not having because of reasons.” It's apparent that Jumin's family had a thing for asking very personal questions.

Zen watched as her hands went up in defense before she laughed and threw a piece of chicken at him. Fortunately he was able to move out of the way, but he then watched her in disbelief as she grabbed another and threw it with better aim. “Hey!” The yelp went unheard because it became a war between them to throw chicken at each other.

The whole spectacle ended when he unintentionally smacked her in the face with the sticky food. Both stared at one another, shock clear on their faces but the moment lasted seconds as he was being chased around the sand not a blink of an eye later.

“You’re so scary!” He yelled at her when he barely escaped her hand as she reached to grab onto him to stop him. “I feel like death is coming for me!”

“Wait and see what happens when I catch you!”

 

~

 

There’s always a logical explanation for things, such as why Elizabeth sometimes bites his hands to get away from him, or how Seven seems to always know when he’s in his office. Jumin knows this as he tends to find said explanation whenever he’s met with a puzzling situation. This, however, he can’t quite find it in him to stop from jumping to the most irrational thought. Zen might be interested in his sister. She’s getting married in a handful of days and her fiance is standing right next to him, but his brain wants to select that conclusion.

“What are you two doing?” He asks coldly, his eyes following the other two closely. Jumin watched Zen freeze, then he saw how his sister crashed straight into his back due to the abrupt stop, toppling both to the sand in a big, jumbled mess.

“Darling, are you okay?” Charles jumps forward immediately to go help his sister get up.

Jumin on the other hand remained standing where he was, trying to keep his cool as his stomach dropped. There’s no way, right? Sure, Zen is definitely a flirt, there’s no denying that no matter how much the other would like to argue about it. He _still_ flirts with Momo even though she’s happily engaged to Saeyoung. And fine, he might not have been flirting with his father’s girlfriend, but this…

“I didn’t know you two were coming here,” the younger man spoke as he patted sand off his jeans and fixed his hair by brushing it back with his fingers. Their eyes met but Jumin immediately looked away to see how his sister was faring.

“I messaged Charles that we were here, I figured you’d want to see my brother as much as I want to see Charles. Both are always so busy.”

Zen glanced his way and the bright, red eyes made it down his form until he was staring at his feet with a frown. “Jumin, you’re going to ruin your shoes. Take them off.”

“We’re leaving,” he proclaimed firmly, earning a sound of protest from his sister.

“Brother, don’t go! We were having fun…”

He felt like leaving, but how can he deny his sister when this trip was her idea to begin with. Sighing softly, Jumin gave in and watched Charles pick her up in the air before asking her if she’s ready to be chased but by him instead.

“Come on,” Zen motioned at his feet and Jumin stared down at them himself for a moment before slipping them off. “Wait.”

Before Jumin could ask him what the problem was, Zen crouched down and began to fold the bottom of his pants. When his heart jumped and got lodged in his throat, he understood what the others meant when they said Zen was ‘boyfriend material’. Momo, Seven, even Yoosung has said it at one point during their conversations. It was still annoying when the musical actor refers to himself as such, because how conceited can one person be, but he gets it.

It’s many things put together that make the younger man someone you’d want as your partner. His intense attention to feelings, the way he constantly considers you in every way possible, his caring, mother hen nature. Being on the receiving end of all of that was overwhelmingly pleasant to say the least. Jumin has never felt more… understood. Despite not agreeing on everything and constantly bumping heads, Zen has the ability to calm the raging storm he’s found himself inside of.

Zen straightens up and smiles at him before he says, “there, now you can’t complain about your pants being ruined either.”

Jumin watches him walk away towards the shore, warm breeze blowing his messy ponytail around. Everything was confusing. _Zen_ was confusing. He has absolutely no consistency and it’s beginning to drive Jumin crazy, because how can anyone be like that. People are easy to figure out.

“Were you flirting with my sister?” He asks as soon as he reaches the spot next to the other. He could see Zen’s eyes roll to the back of his head from the corner of his eye, but he didn’t care how annoyed the other was at his question. It was a valid question.

“Not this again. Jumin,” Zen turned to look at him, a seriousness on his seen before, “do you truly believe I’m that kind of person? I want you to give me an honest answer.”

“No.”

“Then what is the problem?”

Could he be honest with Zen without having him explode? Or in a deeper level, _should_ he? Either way he’ll get the same reaction so he might as well just go for it, stay true to himself.

“I get jealous. When I see you flirting with other people I can’t control my emotions,” he elaborates calmly, hoping that by not showing his own exasperation the younger man would stay calm as well.

Zen frowned at him in confusion and turned his body so the two could stand face to face. Jumin though this was _too_ calm. “What—what do you mean you get jealous?”

“I,” he started, “don’t like it,” there was a smile forming as he realized Zen was probably teasing him, “when you flirt with others.” The two were grinning at this point, but he couldn’t help to notice the redness on the younger man’s cheeks. “Is that clear enough?”

Zen’s grin faltered before he playfully glared at him and turned away again. “Trust fund kid couldn’t just be trust fund kid. He had to be a possessive bastard as well,” he muttered under his breath but Jumin heard him just fine. Yeah, he was possessive, and that was okay. “You’re so fucking weird.”

That was okay too.

"You like me though. You nagged about me staying alive this morning."

The younger man scoffed and stepped closer to hit him with his shoulder. "Don't even joke about it."

His eyes followed the flow of the silver hair, Zen was completely unaware of the gaze. Hypnotizing, that’s the best way to describe the musical actor. Hair tousling in the wind. He wishes Zen would move forward, closer, so they could kiss.

Jumin was with people all day, having lunch, having a drink, talking about possible business expansions, but all he wanted to do was come right back to be with Zen. It was pleasant and surprising to know that he could work without getting distracted, as he was able to do all the things in his itinerary for the day without a hitch. But. Zen.

Zen. The brat was a constant thought in the back of his mind.

“I wish I lived near the ocean. This sure is peaceful,” Zen’s voice carried through the wind that began to pick up. “The sound of the waves…”

“I always thought of buying a private island.” It wouldn’t necessarily be a smart investment, but it sure would be a great gift to himself so he could get away from people. A secluded home surrounded by the ocean sounded like heaven. Red eyes met his. “You could stay there,” he adds naturally, “if you ever want to spend time by the ocean.”

“Or,” the other immediately quips, “I could stay at a hotel in all the beaches available in Korea…” A smart mouth as always. When Jumin shrugged, Zen slowly looked away and blushed some more. “Are you serious?”

“About my offer? Yes.”

It was cute how Zen clasped his hands behind him and turned to give him an innocent look, one Jumin didn’t believe for a second. “And if I want you to come along?” Jumin categorized Zen’s mischievous smile as one of his favorite ones.

There was a long pause between them but Jumin’s breathing pattern didn’t change. If Zen thought he could mess with him this way, he was about to ram himself into a wall. He’d _love_ to disappear into a private island with him. “I’ll have to move some appointments around, but it’s doable.” That’s not to say he was going to drop all his duties, but Zen could rest assured that Jumin would do anything he asked him to.

Being accommodating was like a high. Jumin wishes he could just hand Zen the world, and for the stubborn idiot to accept it. His body began to feel very hot. He was practically vibrating with the clash of so many emotions. They could always sit side by side on the piano stool, him listening to Zen play all the melodies he can create. His world could become a less cold, less structured place where his mind could freely wander and his heart could happily beat for another. Jumin would like nothing more than to get this over with and kiss the guy himself.

This is love. He’s in love with Hyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Psychic dreams make a cameo haha I love that Cheritz made Zen some sort of alien or something haha he has super healing powers, has psychic dreams, had red eyes and white hair, gave him the voice of an angel, super caring, super protective and the right kind of possessive, and he’s PERFECT. 10/10 husband material  
> 2\. The two making googly eyes at each other just-- stab me in the heart already, kill me, just  
> 3\. They’re so fucking domestic I can’t  
> 4\. I mean i don’t know how fucked zen is rn but i know he’ll be very fcked later if u know what i mean ;)))) ;) ;) ;)) ok i’ll stop now  
> 5\. Jaehee x Zen is honestly my life I love them so much <3  
> 6\. ZEN IS NOT JUST TOO NICE HE'S TOO SOFT FOR JUMIN ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ sososoooosososo soft  
> 7\. Juwon as the troublemaker (who saw that from 2000 miles away lmao), he also has his own storyline so wait for it  
> 8\. let's also not ignore the savagery tho, that kid srsly  
> 9\. Zen having his gay crisis pt.1 :((((  
> 10\. Zen is just a nagger, what can I say ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> 11\. Jumin should just go for it and kiss Zen
> 
> I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU HAPPY HOLIDAYS (and if you don't celebrate anything, I hope you stay indoors and don't run into any huge crows). Thank you very much for all the sweet comments, the sweet compliments, the kudos, the messages on Tumblr, the encouragement. Y'all are so amazing! I'm so happy y'all are enjoying the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it (we're all in this together~~).  
> I'M SORRY FOR THE SLOWBURN.  
> IT'S ABOUT TO GET WILD.  
> YOU MADE IT THROUGH.  
> Pat yourselves in the back.


	9. When you think everything's going well, life has a way to show you otherwise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is, I'm sorry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating goes up from this chapter on.  
> Trigger warning: mention of drugs and drug use.

**DAY 7**

* * *

 

“What do you keep staring at?” Zen leaned forward to whisper, disrupting everyone as his elbow pushed the pitcher of lemon water over, dangerously tipping it. “Is there something on my face?” One of his hands rubbed down cheek and mouth while his eyebrows furrowed in a frown. At this point Jumin was being an ass by feigning ignorance and smiling faintly at him, evident as the younger man was beginning to get infuriated by his actions.

Leaning back on his chair, Jumin sipped on his wine then took a deep breath. The day was beautiful, so his sister proclaimed earlier that morning followed by the suggestion of having breakfast on the patio. Everyone attended except for his younger brother, but no one has ever questioned his absence.

Watching Zen become so flustered, all because he doesn’t want to answer his questions, was so much fun. “You’re just so pretty,” in a bold move, Jumin decided to speak the truth, “I can’t help but to stare.”

So many feelings visibly crossed Zen’s face. The first one being shock, understandably as he didn’t expect an answer like that from Jumin. The next one was confusion, followed by understanding. And lastly was annoyance. The younger man rolled his eyes and scooted back to finish his breakfast, a cute little blush spreading all over his face.

He wishes the other wasn’t so silent today, but something was going on and Jumin wanted to know what it was so he could fix it somehow. Where’s the snarky brat that always had something to say? There’s this unusual tension between them, Jumin felt it at the beach, and he felt it when they came back late from dinner to sleep. It hasn’t gone away and it annoyed him, Jumin felt the electric charge growing between them and he wanted to do something about it.

A photographer came up from behind Zen and snapped a picture of Jumin as he looked deeply in thought. “Brother,” his sister spoke between bites of a croissant, “why are you sitting across from Hyun? Wouldn’t it be closer to sit by him?” Her face changed to a natural smile as the photographer moved to take a picture of her and Charles.

“But if I sit next to him I wouldn’t be able to stare at his beautiful face,” he explained, then jumped on his seat when Zen kicked him from under the table. Fine, being straight forward and honest wasn’t helping his case. He needed to figure out which way to go because the last thing he needs is bruises on his shins.

“I agree,” the photographer blurted out, blushing at the imprudence. “I have yet to see a bad angle. You’re honestly the most beautiful person I’ve ever photographed.”

Jumin watched her then moved his eyes to Zen who seemed to be incredibly confused by everything going on. “See? I’m not the only one, don’t be embarrassed.”

Junghee cooed at him then turned to grab Zen’s hand in hers. “I had no idea my brother could be so romantic.”

“Is the all-day photoshoot necessary, darling?” His father asked his sister as he sat on the far end of the table, away from his mother, effectively interrupting what is most likely a very uncomfortable moment for him.

“I wanted it, so yes, it’s very necessary.” After clearing her throat, his sister got up and walked into the house with a serious expression in her face. Both him and Zen followed her with their eyes then looked at each other.

The younger man raised an eyebrows as if to say something to him, and it took Jumin a moment to understand what he was trying to say. Mostly because he got distracted by his big eyes. Zen had very pretty, big eyes that curved lovely. With a low mutter, Jumin excused himself and went to find his sister.

She had been quieter this morning, but he assumed it was nervousness from the wedding being so close by. Zen seems to have a different idea if he sent Jumin to talk to her about it. And so far, from what he has seen, he’ll trust the other’s judgement better than his own when it comes to this. They haven’t had a one on one yet, and this seemed like an appropriate moment.

Before he could even more, he heard her voice down the hall where the other guest rooms were located, and Jumin took his time going down to see what was going on. Junghee was standing at a door, glaring at it and looking impatient.

“Junghee?” He called and she glanced at him before knocking on the door loudly. “What’s going on?”

“I want Juwon to join us today. I’m not letting him be in his room anymore. He’s going to miss all the fun things I’ve planned! The photos are supposed to depict our family--”

The door as swung open, making Junghee flinch back due to the surprise. Juwon opened his mouth about to say something but when he spotted Jumin standing on the side he closed it right away and glared at the two.

“Leave me alone, Junghee. I’m here, aren’t I? That’s all you asked for. Now go away.”

Juwon tried to slam the door closed but Jumin shot out his hand to stop him. “Wait,” he said even though he didn’t know why. This was not only awkward for him, but also so strange. He’s never interacted with his siblings this closely, let alone in this sort of mood. “Listen to her,” Jumin demanded after a moment of debate.

His younger sister looked up at him in surprise before she smiled brightly.

“Fine, but I’m not leaving the bedroom,” Juwon tried to argue, upsetting Junghee once more.

“Juwon, that’s the entire purpose of this trip, for us to spend time together! Can’t you do that just for me? Once?” Licking her lips in frustration, Junghee added, “and that doesn’t include the wedding,” to clarify what could’ve been an easy loophole. Jumin nodded mentally at her quick thinking.

Rolling his eyes, Juwon brushed his hair back with his hand and slumped his shoulders. “Fine! Once! The next time you see me will be your wedding. That’s it Junghee, don’t ask me for anything else.”

Even though it didn’t feel like a moment to celebrate, Jumin watched his sister squeal in excitement and jump into a surprised Juwon’s arms. “Thank you baby brother!” She kissed his cheek and turned to give him a wink, probably as a thank you for making him listen to her.

“Let’s go,” he told them and the three walked back to the patio where everyone still remained.

Zen saw him coming and immediately got up to walk up to him, possibly trying to avoid the photographer who was too busy taking pictures of only him. Jumin let his hand rest tentatively on the other’s waist as if it were natural for him to do so. When no complaint came, he smiled to himself in victory. Up until this point Zen’s been the only one showing physical affection for him, this made him feel _different_.

“Not bad, older brother,” Zen cheered him softly, but the smile on his face quickly turned into a grimace. “And stop being weird,” he said as he not so playfully smacked Jumin on the chest.

“I’m not being weird.”

Red eyes roamed his face. “Yes you are. It’s annoying when you do _it_.”

He felt a bit offended at the way Zen said the word ‘it’, but he also felt he would be more offended if he knew what ‘it’ was supposed to mean. “Which is...?”

Huffing, Zen moved away (to his dismay) from his hand and crossed his arms across his chest. “That lying with a straight face thing you do. It annoys the crap out of me.”

The comment hurt him more than he’d like to admit, only because it was Zen who said it. Before he would’ve gloated over the fact that something he did made the other uncomfortable. Such thing works against him at the moment. “It annoys you… But, I’m not lying.”

“Oh,” he blew air out in annoyance, making his fringe move, “now you’re telling me you actually think that and you want to stare at my face.”

Jumin wasn’t sure what else he could do or say for the other to believe him. “Yes. I do.”

“You’re doing it again!” The hiss was accompanied by another smack, this one more playful than the other. Jumin didn’t let him take his hand back because he quickly grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him close.

“You’re getting rather handsy, Hyun,” he muttered in his ear but Zen pushed him away with his other hand, the entire thing turning into a childish, playful fight. Or at least he thinks it’s playful. Other than annoyance, there was no malice in whatever Zen was doing or saying. A slight thrill ran through him as he realized he’s never done anything like it before. V was far too calm and collected, just like himself. Never too expressive.

“That’s because you’re testing me and that makes me want to punch you.” With a quick twist of his arm, Zen got his wrist free of his hold and stepped back. “I’m serious,” the mood suddenly turned serious, catching Jumin off guard, “stop that.”

“Zen,” Jumin grabbed his hand before the other could walk away, and reiterated, “I’m not lying.” He wasn’t, dammit. Why is Zen being difficult? Can’t he take Jumin’s word for what it is and run with it?

It was brief, but for a moment Jumin thought he saw Zen look into his eyes to figure out whether he was genuinely being serious or not. Not a second later Jumin had to let go of the other’s hand to go take a family portrait with his sister, but the butterflies continued to flap around in his stomach the entire time. The younger man didn’t pull back at the thought of Jumin possibly telling the truth, at the thought of there being more than just whatever they have between them.

Jumin found it hard not to look for Zen sitting at the table in the distance as his mother and father argued whether Juwon should stand on the right or on the left. He wasn’t looking back, instead the musical actor was staring down at his phone or whatever he had on his lap. That didn’t matter, he didn’t need the other to stare back, this kept him from arguing back that he didn’t want to stand in front of his father, as if he were a petulant child. Zen has turned into some sort of emotional anchor for him.

No, Hyun. Hyun and his concern over Jumin’s feelings, worry over the strange relationship with his father, the constant need to defend him and protect him, the big, _big_ heart he has. The well hidden tenderness he uses on Jumin on occasion that makes him feel like he’s wrapped in something nice and warm. Something Jumin always thought unimaginable, unattainable. Something he simply wasn’t made for, yet here he was. Staring right at it.

“Stop!” Juwon snapped him out of his deep thoughts by grabbing onto his shoulder roughly so he could walk around from behind him and move to the side where Junghee was standing with their mother. “I’ll stand with Mother, now everyone shut up and let’s get this over with.”

“Lower your voice please and act like an adult please,” his sister hissed before pretending to smile brightly at the camera. “I don’t know why I insisted on you doing this. You’re ruining everything for everyone.”

“You know what Junghee, you can _fuck off_.” They were all left speechless, and when their father turned with a red face and opened his mouth to say something, Juwon turned to him and yelled, “and you can fuck off too!” He stormed off angrily and this time Jumin moved out of the way so he wouldn’t be pushed around.

“This is what happens when you raise petulant hooligans--”

His mother turned and pushed on his father, making him stumble a step back. “This is _all_ _your fault_ , so keep it shut and don’t make me regret allowing Junghee to invite you to the wedding.”

“Allowing her to invite me? I’m her _father_ , of course she’d invite me. With or without your input, you witch!”

Both him and Junghee grimaced at their parents’ antics, sharing an uncomfortable look at the thought of both Zen and Charles witnessing it. He didn’t want to deal with it at that moment (or ever), so Jumin walked away and sat down next to Zen this time around.

“Is your brother okay?” Zen whispered after moving closer even though Charles wasn’t able to understand him. “I heard all of that…”

Sighing, Jumin pulled on his tie and wrapped an arm on the back of the other’s chair. “I have no clue. Father was being stubborn with the way we were standing for the picture, and it all went downhill from there. I want the wedding to be over so we can all go our separate ways and avoid all of this drama.”

With a frown Zen leaned forward to look up into his face. “You don’t mean that. I don’t doubt for a second you love the whole family thing as much as your sister. Isn’t that why you made me reach out to my family?”

“I didn’t make you do anything,” and that’s how he brushes off any responsibility for that. Sure, he was pushy about it, but it was for Zen’s best interest. “And sure, I like her idea, the problem is the execution was terrible. I would’ve gone about this differently.”

When Zen raised an eyebrow at him, Jumin leaned forward just like him and pointed over at his squabbling parents. “For starters I would’ve said no plus ones just to keep Father from bringing dates. Then I would’ve booked rooms in hotels on the opposite side of the city to keep them away from one another. Lastly, I would’ve made a schedule of activities to share with each of them _separately_.”

“You’re joking…”

Shaking his head, Jumin leaned back comfortably. His smug smile disappearing upon seeing Zen’s judging gaze. “What?”

The other looked so serious and so done with his bullshit. Jumin _really_ likes it when Zen is like that. God, he wanted to lean over and kiss him so bad. It gets easier and easier to admit that, and Jumin couldn’t decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. Does Zen feel the same way? He’s been leaning closer all morning for many reasons. Does he feel the pull Jumin feels whenever they’re together?

“You’re unbelievable. I know it embarrasses you that I get to see your family argue like this,” the younger man admitted before moving to lean on his arm, “and it makes me happy you’re getting what you deserve.”

Well okay. “And why is that? What have I done that deserves me getting embarrassed? I’ve already told you I didn’t lie when--” A hand interrupted him and without thinking Jumin reached over with the other arm to grab it. Zen didn’t pull his fingers back from his hold, not even when he rested their hands on his thigh.

“Oh no, not just that. I had an interesting conversation with your brother,” Zen grinned. The last time Jumin knows Zen and Juwon spent time together was when him, Junghee and his younger brother splashed around in the pool. But they could’ve spoken while he was away the previous day, so he didn’t ask. “It made me realize something. You brought me here so your mom would think I was a golddigger, didn’t you?”

His lips remained tightly shut. That is an argument Jumin wasn’t down to have because, well, Zen isn’t wrong. _But_ the plans changed, and it’s not like his mother actually thought that.

It was then that Zen pulled his hand away from his and looked away. Jumin wanted to know whether he was offended about that, but again, his lips remained sealed.

“What is a ‘hooligan’ anyway?” The younger man muttered under his breath, making Jumin feel less annoyed at what was still transpiring in front of them.

“You,” he answers monotonously, “you’re a hooligan. And I mean that quite literally.” With him being an ex-criminal and what not. Zen’s occasional lack of knowledge was _cute_.

His eyes followed his father as he stormed off, girlfriend on tow. His mother shook her head and pulled Junghee close to talk to her. Jumin just wanted his normal life back in Korea, except this time with more of Zen in it.

Jumin can already see it. They’d spend more time together, possibly between jobs as Zen comes to his building often. He could have his chef cook them dinner. Would all of that be considered dating? Could he trap Zen into dating him without letting him know of his intentions just so Jumin can experience it for a little while before the imminent rejection?

He didn’t want to think about that just yet. “Should I go after Juwon?” Jumin asked for Zen’s opinion mostly because he seems to know what he’s doing better than Jumin. The younger man had years to reflect on what made a good older brother, and that was an unfortunate advantage for Jumin.

Zen shook his head and looked at him again, this time with sympathy written all over his face. Jumin’s learning, thank you very much. “Let him cool off. He probably needs time alone after being embarrassed like that in front of strangers.” To be fair, they were all practically strangers to each other, but he sees the point the other is making.

“Do you think it’d be better if _you_ talk to him?” Jumin wondered. At this point Jumin is ready to give up his role of older brother. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be Juwon’s older brother, it’s that Jumin didn’t know how to be one. He grew up completely alone aside from the one and some year he spent with Junghee before their parents split. The two Han brothers have barely said a word to each other.

Of course his question surprised Zen, but other than the slight reaction to it, the other didn’t mention any reasoning. “Me? Why me?”

“You just said you and Juwon had an interesting conversation. It’s more than obvious you’re better at this than I am.”

The fake and overly dramatic gasp didn’t budge Jumin, but he did smile at the antics. “Did you just admit I’m better than you at something? Call Jaehee, call Seven, this must go in the records.”

“What records?” He asked, feigning ignorance which earned him a push. “You are. Better than me at some things. But I’m also better than you at others, so it evens out, doesn’t it?”

As he turned to look over at Zen, Jumin realized something. He _really_ liked this. He liked sitting here with Hyun, having him pressed against his side, chatting about random things, being casual and playful with each other. This was nice, nicer than what he would’ve thought this to be. Jumin’s never thought about things like this. He didn’t want _this_ to end.

When Zen noticed his staring once again, he pushed himself away and got up abruptly. “Anyway, yeah, sure. I’ll talk to him later when he’s calmed down. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it,” he replied easily, internally questioning why the other had to get up from their very comfortable position. “Where are you going?” Jumin asked as Zen collected his phone and began to walk away.

“Um, to do stuff,” Zen said while frowning. “Bathroom and what not.”

“Hm,” he hummed and turned back to his long forgotten breakfast. The only other person sitting at the table was Charles who was itching to jump and go comfort his sister. The relationship between the two was still weird to Jumin, but that could be due to his father’s dysfunctional ones.

“Jumin,” the man spoke up, turning to look at him with worry, “is it normal for them to argue like that?”

Well. “I want to say yes, but honestly this is one of the very few times we’ve all been under the same roof. And just to point it out, the previous ones were so long ago Junghee didn’t know how to speak yet.”

“I’ve noticed that you’re the only one they don’t argue with. Is it because you’re the oldest sibling?”

This was a difficult question to answer. The man was family now, so he supposed it didn’t matter whether he was honest with him, as Junghee would probably tell him anyway. “Frankly, I think it’s because I just let things happen. I already know how Mother and Father are, and I act accordingly to that.”

“You and Hyun are used to your father, huh. Me and Junghee are used to your mother. She’s the only one I’ve ever been around long enough to call her family. This is the third time I meet Juwon, and obviously the first one I meet you. The few times I’ve spoken with your father have been very cordial and pleasant. This is a side of him I hadn’t seen before.”

It was funny to hear the older man say something like that, as this is the first time Zen has met his father. How can he put it for the other man to understand. “My father can be rather touchy when it comes to his relationships. I’m sure Mother has talked to you about her relationship with him.” When Charles nodded, Jumin had nothing else to say.

His mother and his father hated each other passionately, and like he confessed to Zen, him and his siblings were the ones caught in the crossfire.

 

~

 

It’s unbelievable how someone’s stare could make you feel so strongly. Zen couldn’t take the stares any longer and he had to fled. His heart was still beating so hard thinking about the words Jumin said to him during their breakfast. Zen didn’t want to think too much about it, but he couldn’t help them getting to him the way they did. He was a hopeless romantic. How many times has he dreamed of someone telling him things like that, sincerely? And while Jumin was most likely joking (or was he?), they still hit him in the heart like a Cupid’s arrow.

Zen couldn’t just go through a crisis in peace. He had to have Jumin make everything ten times worse, because nothing in Zen’s life is ever easy. It’s not that he’s confused about what he feels, Zen knows _exactly_ what he feels. The problem is the consequences of what he feels. Jumin was, to put it lightly, a rather strange, incredible guy. Not because of his money, or because of all the bad qualities he loves to point out, but because he’s a very caring and loving individual. Deep down, it’s easy to see. He cares so much about the RFA, about his shitty dad, about his slightly less shitty mom, and he cares a ton about Zen. He doesn’t have to, and he definitely shouldn’t, but he does. That doesn’t make him less quirky, and unattainable in a way because of how smart he acts, and how frigid he can be.

If Zen could list the most amazing people he’s ever met, the older man would be in said list.

And now here he is, sitting in the bedroom, staying out of the way and waiting for the party to start.

It was at that moment that his ringtone went off, and Zen checked to see who was messaging him (crossing his fingers it was his manager). To his surprise, the message was from his beautiful princess.

MC:   
Zen!!!! What’re you up to :)))

ZEN:   
Baabee  
I’m brooding… brooding isn’t my thing…

MC:   
Aw, no :(( Why!!?

ZEN:   
Just… a lot of thinking;;;

A lot of thinking about the idiot whose smile makes his heart flutter, whose company he now enjoys and looks forward to, whose actions make him want to throw it all into the fire and find out whether Jumin is the best or the worst thing that could happen to him. Zen wants Jumin in more ways than just a friend. He wants to have his support, he wants to talk to him about his worries, or share his deepest thoughts. He wants the dream to be just a dream, and for Jumin to be safe and alive, preferably by his side.

They could be a great team, the two of them. Jumin is logical and calculative, Zen is emotional and passionate. The things that could be born from them working together would be the most beautiful. A blush spread over his face and one of his hands moved to cover it. Except. Except Zen didn’t _just_ want that, he wanted _more_ too. He wanted to hold Jumin’s hand, he wanted to kiss him, to love him like he’s always wanted to love somebody.

But he can’t. Well, _they_ can’t.

The young executive can brag about his company being too big, too good for something like a homosexual relationship to affect him deeply, he can do that, but the truth is more complicated than that. People would start pushing him away, they would start backing out one by one. Less people would be willing to work on his projects, less brands would be willing to have their name attached to the Chairman’s whose son is with another man. Not to mention his own career. It’d be over in a matter of hours. No amount of effort could stop the PR nightmare that something like a relationship with another man would cause. Zen has seen it time and time again. People commenting how uncomfortable they felt working with them, doing anything with them. He can’t begin to imagine how it’ll go once he becomes more known to the public.

The thought of it alone made his chest constrict, his stomach hurt. If he had eaten any more he would feel like throwing up right now. And the worst part of all is that this relationship isn’t even _real_. He just now officially accepted his feelings for Jumin, and the man has no idea. Yet, he can’t help but to feel sick from how terrible their lives would get.

MC:   
do you want me to call saeyoung so you two can talk? I don’t like it when you get sad :(  
is Jumin not there with you??

ZEN:   
why would jumin not being here have anything to do with this?

MC:   
he’s usually pretty good at cheering you up.

Yeah, he is. Jumin has the great ability to make him see things in a different way, a less emotional way. But how can this be seen with less emotion? He’s positively _in love with Jumin Han._ There. It’s all on the table.

Worse than before, Zen felt himself unable to breathe. It was as if he had opened something he shouldn’t, because now he couldn’t stop all the feelings and thoughts from rushing through him like a strong, powerful waterfall. Running his hands through his hair, Zen grabbed it roughly and pulled on it as if to punish himself for letting this happen. How. _How could he fall in love with Jumin Han._ How could he let himself go down that rabbit hole.

He wanted Jumin like he’s never wanted anyone else in his life, and he didn’t even know why. Was it because Zen liked being protective over him? Was it because he’s finally seen the sensitive side of the guy? Was it because he finds himself platonically attracted to his sister who happens to look almost identical to him? Has he reached his lowest point of loneliness?

No, of course not. Zen wasn’t, for one that pathetic, and for two that flippant about his feelings. He might be a hopeless romantic at heart, but he wasn’t actually _hopeless_. His feelings were sacred to him, Zen didn’t waste his time and thoughts with just anyone. Years of falling under the spell of misguided feelings from others have made him competent enough to reel things in and keep himself from falling for the first person that gives him the attention he craves.

He’s in love with Jumin because these past couple of days have given him a glimpse of something that _works_ . Something that’s very compatible. They’re opposites in many ways, but they’re also the same in others, and that makes them compliment each other. It’s almost like the two keep each other grounded, or on their toes, but it all works out. Jumin would do anything for those he loves, and that’s the kind of affection Zen _needs_. On the other hand Jumin is attached to his money, job, and he doesn’t enjoy life much, and little by little Zen can help him learn to enjoy everything for what it is. Zen would help him express himself more. By his side, Jumin would never do anything he doesn’t want to do. He would protect Jumin from everything and anything.

Ringing from his phone startled him. Zen frowned when he saw it was a video call from his princess, but he picked it up anyway. Her pretty face never fails to cheer him up.

“Hey!” She greeted him cheerfully despite her worried face. “What’s going on Zen?”

He raised an eyebrow at her and checked his watch. “What’s going on with _you_? It’s not even five in the morning over there.”

“Don’t worry about it. Saeyoung is dealing with some stuff with Saeran and I haven’t been able to go to bed.”

That brought him some relief. He was about to feel super guilty for waking her up, turns out he might be doing her a favor by entertaining her while she deals with the stress that Seven and his brother can be.

“But back to you,” she suddenly looked more alert than before, which was very cute. “Is it something to do with Jumin? You went quiet after I mentioned him… Don’t tell me the two of you aren’t on speaking terms right now!”

“What, no,” the fact that she assumes that’s the case is both understandable, but also confusing under recent revelations. “We’re fine. Actually, we’re more than fine. I think we’ve finally become close friends.”

“No way! Ah!” Her reaction was not only adorable, but also embarrassing. If only she knew that this doesn’t mean they’re going to argue any less. If anything, they might argue more. “What happened!?”

“Remember how I told you I’m pretending to be his boyfriend?” The way her grin grew made him blush. Her and Seven were made for each other. “That sort of forced us to get close to one another. That’s pretty much it.”

The younger woman narrowed her eyes at him. “That’s it? Really?”

And turns out Jumin’s weirdness, and ridiculousness aren’t necessarily bad, in fact, he likes them in _different_ ways. And how cute it is when Jumin goes off on tangents, or the way he’s so touchy about the dumbest things. And his surprisingly _soft_ side. One he’s been seeing more and more, to the point that he can’t think of Jumin differently now.

How loyal he is to his family even though they’ve wronged him…

And he obviously has the biggest crush on the guy, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Yeah. He’s been an ass all morning though. I’m hiding in our bedroom right now--”

The younger woman yiped like a cute little animal and dropped her phone when he said that. Oh for fucks’ sake. Her and Junghee would get along so well.

“Sorry, go on,” she apologized, face flushed and hair disheveled.

These women will be the death of him. “Like I was saying,” he continued on ignoring the little sigh she let out, “he’s been mean so I’m trying to stay away for a bit. Being around him this much is starting to get to me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. He can be a bit too much,” which she isn’t wrong. Jumin can be overwhelming in his own way. This time it’s Zen the one with the problem though. The older man’s teasing is getting to him, his presence alone is starting to be too much. “But don’t let it get to you too much. He cares about you, that’s what matters the most, right?”

Maybe.

“I’m going to check on Saeyoung, are you going to be okay?”

Zen tightened his lips at her. “Of course I’ll be okay. What am I, a delicate flower?”

Her laugh made him break the serious look on his face. “Not quite, but you _are_ sensitive, and Jumin can be…”

“An asshole? The absolute worst?”

“The best person ever,” Jumin interjected from behind him, making him jump from being caught talking smack like that. “Who are you talking to?” The older man asked when Zen turned around, wide eyed and nervous all over.

He couldn’t stop his face from heating up, so the best next thing he did was avoid eye contact and move away. Jumin noticed this, frowning at his actions and immediately after masking it with his usual stoic expression.

“Hey, thank you for calling. I’ll message you later, okay? Get some sleep.” When he hung up, Zen had nothing else to use as an excuse to not look him in the eyes which only made things feel awkward between them.

How it went from nice, warm, and comfortable to awkward was beyond him. But Jumin was clearly beginning to draw his own conclusions, therefore decided to brave it and deal with the embarrassment face to face.

“Well?”

“It was Momo,” he replied easily. He hesitated for a moment before slipping his phone in his front pocket and sitting on the bed.

Jumin watched him closely, then snapped out of whatever thoughts he had to casually look around. “Is everything okay?” He said after pulling his own phone out and possibly checking to see if there were any messages in the chat room. There weren’t because if it had been something serious Seven would’ve said something to both of them.

“Yeah. She couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”

Nodding, the young director sighed and moved to sit on the bed next to him. “Well, apparently we aren’t allowed in the bridal shower, so I came to ask if you wanted to do something today.”

A part of him wants to say yes. They could go out, have more fun together, get closer. But no, he can’t do that. There’s plenty of reasons why his desire to become closer is a bad idea. If Zen breaks down now and goes along with it, everything he worked so hard for will crumble down in front of him. Every friend he kept at a reasonable distance, every night he laid in bed wondering when he’d stop feeling so lonely, every day that ended with him exhausted to the bone from working so hard and so much.

“Nah,” Zen bit his lip, “I think I’ll stay here. Besides, you wanted me to talk to your brother, remember?”

“You’d tell me if you have a problem with me, correct?”

No. “ _Yes_. When have I ever kept my issues with you to myself?” he replied in irritation, feeling slightly exasperated because of the presence of the other man.

Narrowing his eyes, Jumin remained silent for a split second before nodding and ultimately brushing off his decision with a, “I’ll do some work then,” that sounded a lot like he didn’t expect Zen to say that. Fair enough. Zen did bitch about being caged in this home not that long ago.

What he didn’t want was for Jumin to _suspect_ anything. Suspect how? He didn’t know. Maybe the older man has the ability to read his perspiration, or look into his eyes and figure things out.

As soon as Jumin walked out of the bedroom, Zen exhaled loudly and threw himself back on the bed, wanting it to swallow him into its soft, comfiness. Anything to not have to face his feelings like that again. What was that about him not being pathetic? All the man did was stand in front of him and look at him!

“Aish!” He screamed at the emptiness of the room.

This was mentally exhausting. He felt as if the avalanche of feelings was falling on him, and he can’t even say without a warning because he had a warning. In fact, he had _many_ warnings, starting with him agreeing to all of this mess all because of some sad puppy eyes. _Goddammit_ . He’s a sucker. He’s a _sucker_. Jumin Han can do anything with him, ask him for anything. Nothing, not even his own will, will stop him from doing whatever Jumin Han wanted him to do. It’s such a dangerous power to hold over someone, but here he is.

Zen doesn’t cry often but--Nah. He’s not going to cry over this. Zen stared up at the ceiling as if it were the cause of all of this, the culprit of his developing feelings for the young director.

Seven was right, his princess was right. They clearly saw something him and Jumin didn’t. Zen undoubtedly didn’t see it coming. He’s never liked… guys. He’s never thought of… well, he’s never _imagined_ himself with a guy before-- **Not that he does now** , because he doesn’t. But Lord.

Blushing, Zen brought a hand up to cover his face in shame.

Aside from the obvious, innocent love rituals, could he perform the _ultimate_ love ritual with Jumin? “I can’t even,” he muttered to himself, feeling himself shrink even more. This was too cheesy, even for him. He needed to lay off the sugarcoating.

Could he have sex with Jumin? Would that even be a thing if by any miracle Jumin reciprocates his feelings? It’s no secret the man has never been intimate with another person before. That could easily be because he simply doesn’t _want_ to as much as because of any other reason. Maybe he’s one of those people that have no interest in sexual experiences.

 _Oh God, why. Why am I thinking about Jumin’s sexual life_.

Let’s go on.

Would Zen be okay with that? Sure, yeah. Sex isn’t everything. Zen is a very sexual person, yes. That isn’t a secret either. He’s had relationships before, he’s had _plenty_ of sex before. That doesn’t mean he couldn’t stop. He hasn't had it for _years_ even though he had no problem having a couple of casual affairs up until three years ago.

Ultimately, what Zen wants and needs is love. And it can be love of any type as long as it’s his to keep and no one else’s to have. He wants a love that’s just for him, that meets his every need, that no matter how much it fills him up he can’t get enough of it.

But.

What would it be like to have sex with Jumin? Rolling over on the bed, Zen blinked slowly at the windows and let his mind wander into unknown territory. He’s never seen the guy with anything less than a shirt so his body is pretty much a mystery to him. What he does know is that he has long legs, warm hands, and a nice voice. With a warming face, Zen closed his eyes and sighed softly. His cheeks reddening at the idea of having the other man’s legs wrapped around him. Of those hands roaming all over his body. Of that voice coming out in unintelligible mutters and whispers.

Would Jumin be shy, or assertive? Would the two constantly argue about things even during intimate moments such as that one?

A smile naturally made its way to his face. _Yes, what makes me think we wouldn’t?_

That’s the last thought he has, despite the tightness of his pants and the tingling sensation on his fingers and toes, before he falls asleep in the cool and soft surface of the bed.

There was a lack of dreams, as his nap was short lived after music began to drift through the windows indicating the party was happening full force. It was thankfully classical music. Sniffling and shifting around the bed to roll over, Zen realized a blanket had been laid on him while he napped. His thoughts went immediately to Jumin but he doubted the guy would do something this nice for someone.

After a moment of confusion, Zen sat up and looked down at the soft fabric between his fingers, wondering if Jumin had really covered him with a blanket to keep him from getting too cold.

Speaking of. His body was very much awake at the thought of the older man. His entire being bubbled due to the scalding hot temperature his name tuned up. Zen felt like he was boiling on the inside. It’s unbelievable how he took a nap despite being very much turned on by Jumin Han, and still woke up alive.

How is he going to look the guy in the face!? Talk to him!? Be in his presence!?

This was worse than--This was beyond--This--

The beast inside of him has awakened. And Jumin didn’t even do anything.

Shaking his head from side to side, Zen woke himself up completely then raised his hands to smack his face. He can’t let Jumin win this one either. He needed to chill the fuck out and figure out how to look the man in the face without picturing… yeah. That should be easy. First things first, all he needed to do was think of how dumb the man is when he believes in stupid things like vampires and werewolves.

What an idiot. “But it’s also very cute,” Zen whined as he threw his head back. Like, how can a grown adult believe that stuff.

Sitting here, trying to come up with ways to avoid the problem wasn’t doing him any good. So instead Zen decided to go find Juwon and do what he told the irritating man he’d do.

Before going anywhere, Zen looked out the window out of curiosity and saw  a couple of people mingling around the pool area even though the party was happening on the other side of the house. They were all women, which reminded him of the reason why him and Jumin were not invited to attend. Junghee was so adorable. Thinking about her makes his eyes crinkle in delight.

Looking for Juwon was very easy. The maids in the house were walking around making sure guests weren’t walking into the halls, and that no one was snooping around. So when he smiled at one of them and simply said, “Juwon?”, the young woman was more than happy to lead him down the other side of the house he hadn’t seen before. She left him at a door that was closed, and when no one was around Zen knocked on it lightly at first, to see if the kid was inside, and waited for a response.

Nothing happened after a moment, so instead of doing what a normal person would do and walk away, Zen knocked on it louder this time. Making a point to the kid, that he wasn’t going to go away.

“What!?”

“It’s Hyun,” he replied against the wooden surface, stepping back when he heard noise approaching him. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” Not entirely a lie.

When the door swung open, Zen was met with a very tired looking Juwon. His hair was slightly out of place as if he had been messing with it, and his eyes were bloodshot too. Not expecting it at all, the kid moved over and invited him into his bedroom. Zen took the time to glance around discreetly, see what the kid was all about even though the bedroom was just as temporary to him as Zen’s is to himself.

“I’m fine,” the other replied drily. He moved to sit by the couches near his bed, and Zen’s eyes immediately fell on the bottle of alcohol sitting on the glass table. When Juwon noticed his stare, he smirked and asked, “want some?”

Why not. “Yeah, sure.” He can’t smoke but he can definitely drink. Besides, he didn’t expect the invitation from the kid that just told his family to fuck off earlier that morning.

Two shots of what looked to be whiskey were served, and Zen gave Juwon a questioning look. “Shots?” He muttered the question as he took the offered small glass and threw it back. He drinks a lot of beer, but liquor is never his go to.

“Another one,” Juwon said after clearing his throat. “You made a hilarious face.”

“I’m not used to liquor…” And despite that fact he drank the next shot as well. This one made him shiver in disgust, but no one drinks alcohol because of how exquisite the flavor is. “So, why are we drinking?”

Juwon laughed and served himself a third shot without offering Zen another one, thank God. “Why not? Life sucks, the world is a terrible place,” he added cryptically, fueling sympathy in him.

“Life can’t be _that_ bad,” Zen smiled to himself as he played with the glass between his fingers. “You’re still pretty young.” When Juwon rolled his eyes at him, Zen chuckled and set the shot glass down on the table to take a seat. “I mean it. There’s countless of things you can do to change it all around.”

“Are you here to give me a life lesson? Because I don’t care to listen.”

Raising his hands in defense, Zen dialed down the wisdom and adopted a more raw sympathy. For some reason he feels himself attracted to the kid, and not in the way he feels attracted to Jumin, no. He feels like him and the kid are very similar deep in their soul.

“You people like to come and weight in on what’s going on with me, but you have no idea.” His red eyes met Juwon’s dark brown ones as a challenge. “This family is the worst.”

As much as he wanted to argue back that they aren’t that bad, Zen let him stew in his hate for a little bit before serving himself another shot. Because obviously he’s a masochist. “I feel the same about my family, but they really are the worst. They haven’t spoken to me in almost a decade now, even after I reached out to them. I guess they love pretending they don’t have a second son.”

This caught Juwon’s attention. His eyes widened and shone like he’s never seen them do before in the few times he’s interacted with the kid. Not even when he was yelling at his family that morning. His pupils were so dilated he looked cartoonish. “What do you mean?”

“I’m also the youngest son and my older brother was always the favorite one,” Zen elaborated at the attention his past was getting from the youngest Han sibling. “I discovered that I liked music and dancing when I was very young, and my family wasn’t okay with that. So they thought it was a fantastic idea to berate me and tell me how worthless I’d be if I liked any of that stuff and if I didn’t become something else, and how no one would--” The alcohol began to hit him, mostly due to breakfast being the last time he ate anything.

“Anyway, I ended up running away from home and doing my thing. I wasn’t always a good person, and I was surrounded by people a teenager shouldn’t be around. Lots of alcohol, cigarettes, and other things from a very young age. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed either. It is what it is. The point is that I learned from it, it didn’t take over me and I’m here now.”

Somehow this turned into him baring his soul to yet another Han.

“That’s hardcore man,” Juwon whispered as his smile grew. “Me too. All I do in France is drink, smoke, have sex, and drugs.”

What. “What do you mean--”

“Yeah dude,” the kid shot up from his seat and went to one of the drawers by his bed to pull something out that Zen wasn’t able to identify. “I like you. You’re real, you’re a real person with real problems and a real life, not someone with a fucked up fantasy world like my family. I have some here, want any?”

Wait, what!?

“No!” Zen got up so fast that vertigo hit him like a slap in the face. He’s never been a lightweight. What the fuck were they drinking? “I don’t want that!” He’s never touched anything like that in his life. What is this kid going on about?

“Oh, okay,” he said as he threw the bag of whatever back in the drawer.

 _Excuse me?_ “Juwon, why do you have drugs?” The turn this entire situation took was too much for him at the moment. He regrets those three shots of whatever it’s in the bottle. “You shouldn’t be doing that shit,” Zen added weakly as he wondered what the fuck was happening.

“Hey,” the younger man snapped at him, “I do whatever the fuck I want. The idiots out there can’t tell me what to do, what makes you think a nobody like you can?”

Brushing aside the petty insults, Zen frowned at Juwon and took a couple of steps around the glass table to get closer to him, something that he also regrets doing when he realized that just made the kid get more defensive. “This is pretty serious stuff, Juwon.” Why he thinks he can rationalize with someone who, now in retrospect, could be under the influence was just another thing added to the list of things he regrets in the past twenty minutes.

“Shut the _fuck up_ ,” Juwon pushed past him, giving Zen a mini heart attack, and grabbed the bottle of the mystery mixture of alcohol before walking straight to the bedroom door.

Panicking, Zen began to walk behind him, trying to get him to stop from going out there and creating yet another scandal with the rest of the family. Not to mention, _drugs_. “Juwon, stop,” he reached to grab his wrist, but the other turned and pushed him away before taking off in a run down the hall.

“Oh shit,” Zen huffed as he began to run after him. Jumin is going to kill him if the other ruins the party all because Zen said the wrong thing to him. Junghee is already on edge because of what happened during breakfast.

The youngest Han sibling took a turn right before the kitchen and went down a hall that Zen has yet to be shown. “Juwon, stop! I’m not going to tell you what to do,” he called out desperately.

Why is he always the one stuck with wild kids like Juwon and Echo Girl? Why not Jumin, who would know what to do as he would most likely think fast on ways to get them to think rationally. Zen is too emotional for this shit, he jumps to the worst conclusion and upsets himself to the point where he loses his ability to think of what to do or what to say.

Exerting his body like that made his stomach churn painfully, and Zen had to stop midway down the sloped hall to grab onto the wall and try not to throw up. He could feel his throat drying up, and his breathing getting heavier. “Hey! Why are you running!?” It’s rare for him to get tired from exercising, but he’s never tried running after consuming hard liquor. Turns out it was the worst thing to do.

Seriously though, why did he run. It’s not like Zen was going to do anything to him.

“I just want to leave already,” Juwon called back, his voice cracking as he fiddled with some buttons on an electric box by the door at the end of the hall. “I hate this place, I hate all of you people.”

Zen began to walk again, this time calmly as Juwon was taking his time pressing buttons. “Juwon, you can leave, but wait until you’ve had some rest and--ah--the drugs--”

With a shake of his head, Juwon glared at him and began to run again, this time past that door he had been standing by. Cursing under his breath, Zen ran again and the moment he walked past the door his heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. There were multiple luxury cars parked around him, and Juwon was getting inside one of them. The bright light from the outside was blinding him but Zen was too petrified over the fact that it hadn’t been Jumin who he saw in his dream. It was Juwon.

“Stop! Don’t get in the car!” The first thing he did was run to the driver side of the car, his fingers hooking on the handle and pulling on it to no avail. “Juwon, don’t!” Zen could feel his heart beating hard against his ribcage. He thought it was going to overload and stop from how fast it was pumping.

He banged the windows with his fists, trying to get the kid to listen to him. An overwhelming feeling of terror washed over him when the car’s ignition echoed in the garage, making him switch to panic mode. He knew it. He knew the dream was going to be turned into reality. He felt it in his heart and now this is happening, and he doesn’t know what else to do.

Thinking quick, Zen ran around the car and opened the passenger seat hoping to at least get the keys or press the button or whatever he needed to do to stop Juwon from doing something stupid. “Juwon, listen to me, you need to s--Ah!”

Before he knew it, something sharp and hard hit him on the side of the face _so hard_ that his vision disappeared for a moment and his body wasn’t responding well to his thoughts. He hears very muffled screams and cries about being left alone, but it was hard for him to understand anything when there was sudden jerky movements and screeching of tires along with the rapid change of lights behind his closed eyes.

 

~

 

Jumin’s fingers were tapping the armrest of the office chair he was sitting on as he read the recent agenda from one of his committees. It’s been a couple of hours since he decided to catch up on some of his work, but he was finding it hard to concentrate due to Zen and the weird way he acted around him earlier. The strange reaction to Jumin being in the room with him had been hard to miss, and now he was wondering if what happened during breakfast had been a mistake on his part. Zen said he’d tell him if there was something wrong, but Jumin believes the opposite. If anything, the stubborn younger man would keep it all to himself like he always does whenever he’s going through some emotional turbulence.

He could potentially ask Seven to intervene, but ever since he admitted his feelings for Zen, Jumin wants to do things himself. He wants to be the one to initiate conversations between them without having the others in the middle of everything. The thing is, Zen makes it hard for him when he pulls crap like this.

Why would Zen act like this with him after getting along for days?

Did his boldness intimidate him? No way. The guy was as confident as Jumin himself, even if his confidence wasn’t entirely real. The fact that the other fakes it until he makes it was both ridiculous and adorable to Jumin. But he’s going off a tangent and right now what he needs to do is figure this out.

Could the musical actor feel the same butterflies Jumin feels every time he looks at him? He hopes that’s the case. It would make things so much easier for when he gathers the courage to ask him for a kiss.

The chair shifted as he leaned back on it, setting the papers down on his lap and crossing one of his ankles over his knee. This whole thing was funny if he thought about it in a very objective way.

Despite their similarities, Jumin and Zen were complete opposites on many ways. He was disciplined and meticulous while the younger man was all over the place and infuriatingly unpredictable. An intimate relationship between them is bound to be a nightmare, but how ironic was it for Jumin to find himself the most attracted to him. To his personality, his sense of righteousness, his uncontrollable need to love and protect. Jumin never believed in love. Nothing in his life ever taught him love was real. But… maybe this was love. Wanting someone who was possibly the equivalent of a walking headache, someone very touchy and free, very animated, emotional, rash, uncouth, so far away from his world.

This would have been a fantastic conversation to have with V if he were still with him. His friend would’ve helped him understand all about the strange feeling in his chest. What to do from this point on, what to say. At the very least he would’ve advised Jumin based on the vast knowledge he had on him from the many years they knew each other.

He wants Zen to be his and no one else's.

“Odd,” he muttered to himself. This was the first time a decision has been made without any type of difficulty. Without too much thought or doubt. Jumin overthinks and analyzes everything for the sake of ensuring he’s making the right decision, it’s what makes him an exceptional businessman. You have to be able to see things from multiple perspectives, to try and decipher the endgame for every situation, every step before it’s taken. And even though Zen is unreadable at times, an untamed, unbelievably irritating fool, Jumin never made a decision this fast and easy in his life. It feels right, and for the first time he doesn’t question why, he doesn’t mentally requests the fact and the statistics.

Glancing over at the clock on the wall on the side, Jumin noticed it was almost four and Zen had been sleeping for a couple of hours now. Earlier when he went to the bedroom he was met with a snoozing Hyun on the bed, and being the nice person the guy thinks Jumin is, he covered him with a blanket and walked out without interrupting his rest. It was getting late though, and while his sister’s party was still going on, the two needed to eat. They could go out and have an early dinner since neither of them had lunch.

Not having his nutritionist here with him was beginning to affect him. Going back to his normal life schedule was going to be fantastic.

Erratic knocking on his door startled him and Jumin carefully set the papers on the desk before attempting to get off the chair. To his irritation the doors were pushed open and his sister’s tear streaked face shocked him into freezing on his chair.

“Jumin…” Her lower lip was trembling and for a moment she had difficulty breathing. He didn’t know what to expect, but whatever he could’ve possibly come up with wasn’t anything near what he actually got. “Juwon and Hyun were in a car accident. We need to go, _now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO HAPPY you guys agree with my comparison between Zen and Kyuhyun -dat angelic voice, mah gah- 
> 
> Notes:
> 
> 1\. Jumin remembers everything. I’m sure this is def x100 when it comes to things he’s interested in lol ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)  
> 2\. FYI Elizabeth 3rd is not a typo. I legit hate writing Elizabeth the 3rd so I shorten it.  
> 3\. Props to Jumin for being so forward, and smh at Zen for being so damn dense. He literally called Jumin dense in one of the first chapters, yet here he is biting his tongue.  
> 4\. Of course Jumin knows something’s wrong. He’s very perceptive (especially when it comes to his boyfriend dammit)  
> 5\. Zen having his gay crisis pt. 2  
> 6\. Zen deadass thought of having sex with jumin i’m done lol  
> 7\. This story is getting smuttier by the chapter now.  
> 8\. Big brother Zen is just… aghhh (≧Д≦)!!  
> 9\. Juwon u dun fuck up  
> 10\. BITCH YOU THOUGHT turns out Juwon was the one in the dream. Phewww  
> 11\. CLIFFHANGER I'm sorry (つ﹏<。)  
> 12\. Regarding the beginning of the chapter, reminder that Jumin owned all volumes of Expert Playboy magazines lmaoooo what an adorable loser.
> 
> it was difficult to divide this chapter and the next, but I decided on a cliffhanger because i'm a piece of shit. i hope you can forgive me!! i'll give you plenty of smut in the upcoming chapters as my most sincere apologies!
> 
> THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT IT'S HERE AND YOU'VE READ IT.
> 
> THANK YOU to all of you who read it, kudo it, write me messages (which, I LOVE like some of yall are so funny hahaha have me here cracking up). I have decided to add extra smutty scenes because, fuck, yall deserve it. You guys, my readers, kudoers, and especially my reviewers, yall DESERVE all the smut. ALL OF IT.


	10. When Zen discovers what Heaven is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so this is what heaven feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY. This took me forever but in my defense, I was swamped with work and personal shit ;; But here we are so it don matter. because yall don't care about my excuses lol
> 
> -
> 
> When I was rereading my previous chapter, I noticed I forgot to add certain comments Charles made during the breakfast XDD sorry for the confusion on that part! 
> 
> Also...
> 
> Everyone complains about the people who write Chairman Han as an asshole hahaha well, I mean, he’s a dick in this story but it’s not without precedent. The man is stupid and has no regards to the consequences of his actions. I’m just elaborating on that lol but anyway, I just think it’s funny I became one of the people others complain about XD whoops.
> 
> Enjoy!!

This is the first time since the Saeran incident that Jumin feels like he wants to crawl out of his skin. The second he sees Zen, he’s going to chastise him until the next year. It’s incredible how someone can live so recklessly. Does he not care about himself? Jumin tried not to let the facts get to him too much. They had already deemed Zen as safe and in no _immediate_ danger from the injuries he suffered, which pleased Jumin greatly, but that didn’t clear anything up. He still has so many questions. He couldn’t understand why the two of them had been in the car, why was drinking alcohol found not only in the car but also in their systems. _Class A drugs_.

He doesn’t want to draw his own conclusions based on the current facts because Jumin _knows_ that Zen knows better. The younger man might be somewhat impulsive and rash, yes, but Jumin _knows_ Zen would never put his brother in any danger nor let his brother put him in danger. Zen would not finish school, drink beer for breakfast, and go days without eating or sleeping, but on at the same time he’d sit there and lecture Yoosung on how to be healthier and to not give up on his studies. That’s the difference between a truly reckless person and the guy he’s in love with.

And yet, here they were.

His mother was a mess. Understandably, Juwon was _her child_ . Just like himself, his sister’s primary care fell upon the hands of the many nannies they had. The only one out of the three that had the privilege to be truly raised by their mother was Juwon. Junghee was taking care of comforting her, her small, delicate hands rubbing on her shoulders as their mother’s eyes remained low and wet from tears Jumin’s never seen her shed. This was all bizarre. If he were in Korea, he wouldn’t think twice about an accident involving his unknown younger brother. They’re not close, they’ve only met a couple of times, and Jumin was as unattached to him as any other stranger could possibly be. That was to be expected when he grew up apart from Juwon, and had virtually no contact with him due to the age gap between them. After all, he isn’t the _father_.

 _Where_ , Jumin asked himself as he glanced around the waiting room him, his mother and his sister were sitting at, _is the father_. Why was their father not here with them, waiting to hear how his youngest son is going to fare after the rather violent accident.

It wasn’t until an hour later that his father dignified them with his presence along with another man, one he suspected to be a lawyer. Not his usual one, but if this man was here along with his father, then that meant his long time attorney had advised him on it. Which meant he had time to call his attorney back home, Juwon’s health be damned.

As if no argument had gone sour between them, his mother got up and swiftly made her way to the pair to whisper among themselves, sparking curiosity in him, and not the good kind. Not the curiosity that keeps him distracted thinking about Zen and what it would be like to hold him close, or caress his skin, no. This was odd. This was an invitation for him to assume something more pressing than an accident is going on.

Dread snuck up on him as the two men along with his mother walked straight to where he was standing.

“Son,” his father greeted him as he always does, “we need to talk.”

For the first time in his life Jumin _didn’t_ want to talk to him. He didn’t want to utter a word, but he couldn’t not talk. Everyone was already going through so much, and Zen is completely right, Jumin can’t say no to him. Not in the breezy way he did it the other day when his father asked him to talk, that had been a completely different mood from the one in this situation.

When he didn’t speak but didn’t walk away, his father took it as a sign to go on with what he wanted to say. “I want to know whether your--whether _Hyun_ is going to press charges.”

Unbelievable. Jumin was flabbergasted. But if the past year has taught him anything is that his father has tumbled down a hill without knowing how to stop.

“Jumin,” his mother spoke this time, pressing her warm hands against his stiff arms, “it’s important that we know.”

Before he opened his mouth to ask why that would matter at all, something clicked in his mind. They’re assuming Juwon was in the wrong if Zen would even think of pressing charges. But why--If Juwon has a criminal history, it would explain why his father and his mother stood less than five feet apart without tearing at each other.

“What did he do,” Jumin’s cold tone was a clear indication that he was done with all the bullshit.

When the lawyer tried to speak, he was having none of that. This was beyond frustrating. Zen was laying on a hospital bed _hurt_ over something Jumin doesn’t understand, and he wasn’t going to have any of their crap. This was the last straw. Jumin can’t believe this is what it took for him to see just how horribly dysfunctional his family was. Zen was completely innocent and he dragged him into this.

“What did Juwon do.”

He was only met with silence, and that was even more disappointing than anything they could’ve said to him. If they can’t trust him, their eldest son who is almost twenty-eight years old, then what is he holding on to? _What_?

Junghee got up and hugged Jumin. The gesture had been unexpected but there was a bit of hope in him that she felt his inner turmoil. His sister, the last person he expected to get close with, is the one that has yet to let him down.

“Excuse me,” a nurse approached from behind them, “Hyun is awake. Are any of you immediate family?”

“He’s from South Korea visiting with my brother,” his sister immediately answered. “They’re together. Can he see him first?”

“Of course, come with me,” the young woman smiled and waited for Jumin to step forward and walk with her to the room where Zen was staying at.

Despite the devastating storm that brew between him and his parents, Jumin felt a wave of calmness at the thought of seeing Zen well and awake. Before the accident even happened, the two had been standing in some mysterious unsteady ground, hopefully that’s all forgotten and he can go back to that nice, warm, blanket the other wraps him in with his smiles and his breathy laughs.

She knocked on the door and slowly opened it, revealing a rather sad sight. Both him and Zen were tall, and the younger man had more body mass than him with all those muscles and definition. But in the hospital bed, with all the sharp, white linens and the machines around him, Zen looked so _small_.

Their eyes met and it was as if nothing else mattered to Jumin as much as wanting to hear his voice. When the door closed behind him and the two were left alone, Jumin made his way to stand by Zen’s side, hesitating a bit at the thought of being pushed away.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” was the first thing he said, a soft and genuine smile on his face. The stress melted off his body at the mere presence of the musical actor. “Even though the doctor said you were lucky to only suffer minor injuries, I couldn’t help worrying.” So much for chastising him until the next year.

Zen breathed out tiredly and with a bit of effort pushed himself up to sit on the bed instead of lay down. “Yeah, at least this time around I was lucky,” he said as he reached up to touch his head. It was wrapped in bandages, but Jumin could see the deep, dark colors of a big bruise flaring up from the side of his head towards his face.

“You have a concussion, blunt force trauma, but not from the impact of the car crash.” He was being pretty clear about wanting to know exactly what happened. Zen noticed because after averting his eyes, the guy laughed breathlessly and dropped his hand on the bed.

“Is that what the nurse said to me? I couldn’t understand a thing.”

“How did you get the bruise?”

Panic rose at the very simple question, making Jumin wonder _why that was_. Zen can’t do this to him. His parents are already treating him like a child all over again, he doesn't need that from the younger man. “Zen, just answer the question,” he sighed tiredly. It was almost ten o’clock, not as late as when he goes to bed back at home but his body demanded so many new things lately.

“Your brother,” Jumin watched the pink tongue wet his lips as he paused, “hit me with a glass bottle. I wasn’t expecting it so I wasn’t able to stop it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Bull. Shit. “Fine, don’t tell me. But you’re pressing charges.”

Zen looked up at him in disbelief. “What? Jumin, I’m not going to do that,” he announced as if he had a choice. He doesn’t.

Well, he does.

“You either tell me what happened or you’re pressing charges. I’ll force you.” And he would, somehow. This was pushing him to do things he wouldn’t otherwise do. His body was so strung up from all the worry, the stress, the going in circles in his mind for hours. This is why he liked business, his job, his father’s company. Things were the way they were, and while it can have its ups and downs, Jumin could always see a step ahead. People… people were so unpredictable, unmanageable, uncontrollable.

His head was beginning to throb.

Rolling his eyes, the musical actor leaned back on his arm to give him an unbelievable look. “You wouldn’t.”

If that’s meant as a challenge, Zen’s on.

Following his train of thought (or so he assumes), Zen sighed and shook his head at him. “You say you want to get along with me and be closer to me, then stop acting like a damn interrogator and comfort me.”

Blinking, Jumin took a moment to assess the situation. Zen was strangely submissive, sitting on the bed and letting him talk. Perhaps it was the fact that he just woke up after a couple of hours from being probed and medicated, but that wasn’t it. Zen’s weird fast healing wasn’t a secret between them and the RFA. Medicine, injuries, alcohol, none of that ever lasts long on him.

Using his basic deducting skills, all he can think is either his brother did a number on him emotionally (which he very much doubts), or he’s genuinely--No.

Jumin feels like he’s reading this the wrong way.

“Is your sister here?” Zen asked, defeat clear in his tone, as Jumin silently tried to figure this puzzle out.

“Yes.”

“If you’re just going to stand there and do nothing, then you might as well let her in so she can properly comfort me. I don’t want to be questioned, I don’t want you to act like my freaking dad, I just want someone to hold me and tell me it’s okay.”

Oh.

Jumin remained glued to the floor and that wiped any form of calmness in the other man. No, no. He can do this. He’s never done it before, he doesn’t think, but he can this time around. For Zen. How difficult can a hug be, how not utterly painful at all can a real, honest hug be. This wasn’t like meeting clients from other countries and customs, this wasn’t like him trying to assimilate as much as possible for the sake of a good deal.

Without a word being spoken, Jumin moved close to where Zen was sitting on the edge of the bed and awkwardly stood by him him before sliding an arm around his back and arm, pulling him to his chest. The position was somewhat awkward, it was hard to properly wrap both arms because of the way Zen was turned, but the younger man was only shocked for a mere moment before he turned his body to the right position and slid his arms around Jumin’s waist and his legs hung around Jumin’s.

 _And just like that, you didn’t die_ , Jumin thought to himself as the corners of his mouth perked up a bit.

And just like that, an invisible line was crossed between them.

His heart was beating so hard against his chest, the fleeting thought of it being a heart attack crossed his mind. There were cases of people getting heart attacks after being too excited. But luckily Jumin was not only still young, but also in top notch health. Better yet and more embarrassing would be Zen being able to hear it or feel it. Could one be able to hear and feel someone’s beating heart against their chest? Jumin wouldn’t know… he wants to know.

“Wow, Mr. CEO-in-line _does_ know how to be a warm person,” Zen joked against his jacket and Jumin wasn’t bothered at all. In fact, he thought the joke had been a bit of a distraction from the way the younger man’s arms tightened around his waist.

Jumin shifted his arms to wrap them around Zen’s shoulders, pulling him closer and trying his best to ‘comfort’ him as he demanded. Here’s a better fleeting thought, could hugs be addictive? The way the other’s warm, solid body felt against him was exhilarating. He wanted to run his hands through his hair, gently and slow.

It was in that rather intimate position that Jumin felt the other begin to shake very lightly. When he moved his torso back to see what was going on, Zen pushed himself forward, pressing his face against his chest in an attempt to hide it.

“Is everything okay?” Jumin muttered the question, averting his eyes from the strange picture. He never really thought of Zen as someone who would cry openly like this. Not to Jumin anyway. “Do I need to get the nurse?”

Silver hair mussed as Zen shook his head around his arms. “I’m not hurting.”

But if he wasn’t hurting, why was he crying?

Either way, Zen can cry against him as long as he wants. This wasn’t… awful. Jumin was warming up fast to being this kind of support. There was something about seeing someone vulnerable and being trusted with the aftercare in a way that he never has experienced before. V would occasionally share worries and they’d talk about them, but neither of them ever did something like this.

The moment ended, to his surprising disappointment, but Jumin didn’t step back. He wanted to stay there by the younger man while he tried to wipe his face inconspicuously. Jumin had the urge to tell him that there was no shame in feeling emotions in front of him, but he can’t put himself in his shoes so he kept his mouth shut. His variety of emotions could be listed with the fingers of a single hand after all.

When the glum moment passed, Jumin moved to gently grab Zen’s face and turn it so he could look at the bruise closely. It was something unexpected but welcomed; reaching over like this when they weren’t putting up an act in front of others. Jumin was done pretending. “That’s one nasty bruise…” When his thumb brushed the line of his jaw, Zen pulled back from his touch and laughed for some unknown reason.

“Yeah, I’m still trying to figure out where you and your brother get the strong arms and hands from,” the younger man joked softly. His (familiar) hands grabbed one of Jumin’s and he turned it over to stare down at his open palm. “I’m so confused.”

“We’re just that great,” Jumin joked, feeling lightheaded and lighthearted after the hug they shared. If Zen was joking around, did that meant he felt better? He thinks so. Unlike Jumin who is very single minded and acts in a simple way, Zen was someone who found it difficult to hide the way he felt. “Are you ready to go back to my sister’s home?”

With a bit of hesitation, Zen looked up at him and asked, “what about your brother?”

Jumin shrugged. “He’s still being looked at. _You_ were lucky, he not so much.” Admittedly, the other mentioning his brother left a bad taste in his mouth. It just reminded him of all the crap his parents keep wanting to hide from him--

“Maybe we should stay--”

“No,” Jumin put his foot down. As surprising as this might come off to Zen if he were to voice it, Jumin wanted to be away from his family. A hotel room came to his mind briefly as he waited for Zen to wake up, but chose against it. It would only further strain the younger man and that’s the last thing Jumin wanted to do. “I just need to sign some paperwork and you should be good to go. Junghee and mother will be here for him when he wakes up.”

Strangely, Zen didn’t fight back and instead nodded like the obedient person _he isn’t_.

 

**DAY 8**

* * *

 

 

It was well past midnight by the time Zen showered, dressed, and got ready to go to bed even though he had been unconscious most of the evening the previous day. His body felt so tired, side effect of the shit Juwon gave him to drink along with the medicine provided by the nurses and the doctor that took care of him while he was out. It was scary to think that he could’ve very well died in that accident, super healing or not. There had been no seatbelt on him, he had flown and broken the windshield with his body--

He didn’t want to think about the details Jumin got once he was cleared to leave without a problem. His head throbbed horribly, it ached on the outside as if the concussion wasn’t enough. All in all, Zen would rate this trip one of the worst he’s ever been in, and he’ll probably be scarred for life about younger, volatile humans. Everything escalated so quickly, he had no time to even digest what happened. He could’ve talked to Jumin first, called for anyone, but his stupid ass got in the car with the guy that was under _many_ influences.

Jumin had every right to call him an idiot from now on. There was no excuse.

Speaking of, where was the man? The room is empty of any soul, and Zen was told not to exert himself. The thing is, if he’s going to have to be in bed... he’d like to not do that alone.

With a very slow walk, Zen opened the bedroom door and called out for the older man, wondering if he was perhaps in the kitchen getting food. The house was completely dark and eerily quiet, empty. With a shiver Zen closed the door behind him and glanced out the glass doors leading to the back. If he has to go anywhere he’d rather go out the back into open air and not into some creepy, empty home.

The doors were heavy and although he didn’t break any bones he still had difficulty pushing them open. “Jumin?” He called out again, hoping to hear from him this time around.

“Zen, it’s two in the morning, go to bed,” the disembodied voice brought a smile to his face.

Glancing around, Zen finally spotted Jumin thanks to the light of his phone. “Are you going to bed too?” Asking something like that should make him feel more flustered, but the only thing his tired body managed to do was make him blush a bit. “What are you doing out here?”

A light turned on when he stepped under it, illuminating the general area where Jumin was. The older man had no jacket and no tie, the top buttons of his shirt were undone, he looked a hot mess. The wine bottle sitting by the lounge chair didn’t go unnoticed, no matter how distracting a disheveled Jumin was.

Jumin was something. It was unbelievable that the one to comfort him at the hospital turned out to be him. There was so much warmth in him, Zen wasn’t sure why he kept it hidden. It’s obvious he cares, it’s obvious he loves, so why pretend otherwise? Then again, having met his family, it was no surprise. They’re so destructive when it comes to feelings and emotions. Whatever it is, his parents seem to run it over and exhaust it until there is nothing left but whatever Juwon is full of.

This entire situation makes his heart hurt for the cold, older man.

“Stressed?” He muttered the question as he walked closer to stand at the end of the lounge chair. The needy part of him wanted to see if he’d be allowed to lay on it next to him. It was big enough to hold two grown men.

“Can you tell?”

It was so easy to tell, he wanted to reply. Instead he nudged Jumin’s foot, forcing the older man to scoot over and make room for him. Even though a frown made it to his face, Jumin didn’t protest his advances, which made him happy. Zen was being needy, he knows. He’s very needy when he feels emotional (or really, any other time). The difference between now and then is that now Jumin is with him and then he was all alone.

Jumin’s tired eyes watched him scoot up and make himself comfortable by his side. Then without asking first Zen rested his head back on his shoulder, prompting him to deepen the frown. “What are you doing?” Jumin asked after a moment of silence.

“Joining you. I figured you might want company.”

“Hyun, I want to be alone right now.” The words didn’t sting him, funny enough. He could tell by the tone of voice that Jumin was more tired than anything, and even though he clearly stated that he wanted to be alone, he made room for him to join.

“Okay,” he laughed softly, “let me rephrase that. I want the company… Can I stay now?”

There were no more comments after that, as he figured with the way he was willing to let him stay in the first place, with the way he moved to hug him and let him cry against his chest instead of getting his sister to do it. God. Zen was in love. He was in love with the way Jumin holds himself back around others but not Zen, with the way he feels like he owns Zen and gets to have a say whether he flirts with others or not. He loves the idea of belonging to someone like the young director, and for someone like that to belong to him.

“Thank you,” he breathed out as his body finally settled against the warmth Jumin’s own body provided. “I know you like your solitude but… I don’t want to be alone.”

Zen felt Jumin shift but didn’t pull away, if anything, the man let his own head tilt until he could feel the top of Zen’s. “Why did you cry?”

There was literally no reason to hide the answer to that from Jumin. Zen would say he owes him an explanation for putting him on the spot like that. “Because I woke up and you were there.” Anticipating the words were going to make no sense to Jumin, he elaborated, “last time I woke up in a hospital I was all alone. V was there, but I didn’t know him, nor did I trust him. It was… hard.” It was lonely. It was devastating to realize he was completely and utterly alone.

“Why wouldn’t _I_ be there?” Out of all the things he said, that’s what he gets out of it? Jumin would be the death of him and not in a good way.

Zen moved his arms and rested his hands on his stomach comfortably. “I don’t know Jumin. I wasn’t saying you wouldn’t be there. I was saying that I’m very happy and thankful that I wasn’t alone this time around.”

“I think,” Jumin breathed in sharply before exhaling, “I understand what you mean.”

The wine bottle wasn’t touched again after that, and neither said anything. The two laid comfortably next to each other until neither could keep their eyes open. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to fall asleep against Jumin Han. His smell has become a comfort, something he wishes he could surround himself with every day so he could face all his demons.

Zen smiled as he dozed off. Jumin, against all odds, captured his heart. An enigma on itself. He wishes more than anything for this moment to never end, for his mind and soul to be this at peace for the rest of his life. Would Jumin make him feel complete? Would he fill the deep gaps in his heart left by the family that pushed him away? Would he make Hyun feel like he finally belongs?

A flurry of sensations cursed through him when he opened his eyes at the vibrations of a phone somewhere under him and the sun filtering through the trees lined along the edge of the hill. His head felt like a cotton ball, but he couldn’t complain when it was nestled on the soft fabric of Jumin’s dress shirt and the aroma of his cologne and his sweat.

The two shifted around in the hours they slept, leaving them in a very compromising but comfortable position. There was an arm wrapped under him, and the two were curled into themselves as if the hot and humid night hadn’t been enough to keep them cozy. He wasn’t sure whether Jumin was awake, but Zen didn’t want to find out. Phone completely forgotten.

He’d much rather close his eyes again and pretend this was his forever. Not a day ago he had been fantasizing about certain things that would come with the prospect of a relationship with the older man, but this… this was something he overlooked.

This was the best this earth could offer him. Being curled up in the safety of someone’s arms was the biggest prize in life.

Whether it was the accident, the medicine, or his emotions running rampant, Zen felt like tearing up. If only things were simple and easy. If only he didn’t have to worry about going back home and hide, and pretend, whether that was anything to worry about at all. And, and, and.

When the chest under him pushed up against his weight, Zen felt his heart shot up to his throat in shame and embarrassment. The arm Jumin had under him moved away, but the man muttered, “don’t move,” to him sleepily.

Jumin didn’t have to ask him, Zen didn’t want to move. He didn’t feel like arguing or fighting back against his own desires, he was _exhausted_.

“Are you feeling better?” Jumin asked him softly, looking down at him while Zen looked up in surprise at the undisguised warm gaze.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you,” he replied with a yawn. “And I mean for everything. It must be a real struggle for your frigid heart to deal with all this warmth.” Zen was trying to lighten the mood because he wasn’t sure how to deal with the heavy feeling in the air. It wasn’t going away, not that he was complaining.

But really, was it the time to joke around? He wanted to be _so honest_ with Jumin.

“In a more serious note, I do mean it. All of it. I… Sometimes I feel like I’m not worth anyone’s trouble,” his throat tightened at that, it was a hard pill to swallow. It was so hard for him to be honest to himself. There were times when he believed that the less he thought about it, the less real it was. “But you comforted me, and you kept me company even though you wanted to be alone. I appreciate that, from the bottom of my heart. I wish you knew how much it means to me.”

There was no fear for things to get awkward from there, Zen knew Jumin wouldn’t allow that to happen. The warm gaze didn’t disappear, he wasn’t being pushed away. Jumin seemed more surprised at his openness. He couldn’t be blamed for being swept up by the confession, Zen was just as stubborn about hiding his own _real and raw_ emotions.

Jumin slowly took one of Zen’s hands and pressed it against his chest before moving his head closer until he rested his forehead against Zen’s. The gesture alone made his chest want to explode.

“Jumin?” His lips parted as he looked up into Jumin’s dark eyes. The untidy dark hair perfect against the bright, clear sky.

“Can I kiss you?” Their noses brushed as Jumin’s eyes shut halfway, making Zen feel like he was fog, and that the weakest breeze could dissipate his body until no particle was left of him.

The words shut down his mind and paralyzed his body. When his heart began to beat again and the sound of an explosion left his ears, all Zen was faced with was the question echoing in his mind over and over. Yes, _yes_. _Yes, please, yes_. He would scream the answer if his tight throat allowed him to speak. Zen sneaked his arms up and grabbed Jumin’s face to pull him close, giving him the answer he needed.

Jumin pressed his lips down to Zen’s, breath stuttering despite the boldness of his actions. It was as easy as being alive for him to push back into the kiss. The shock that ran down the length of his body was so powerful it left him tingling and hot, and like he couldn’t breathe for his life. He couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t want to stop. It was the most innocent kiss he’s ever had in his entire life and it left him wanting to gasp for his soul to come back to his body. The soft brush of lips against his were enough to feed him for the rest of his eternity, as ridiculous as that thought will be when he looks back on this moment.

“Kissing is such a strange concept,” Jumin breathed against his lips as he pulled back to stare down at Zen the way he did earlier. His cheeks were dusted in red, his eyes were so open and inviting just like his lips. The lips he almost kissed at the pier. The lips he’s been thinking about for a while now. He didn’t expect the overwhelming amount of want that overcame him when they first innocently pressed against his.

Pushing forward, Zen maneuvered to get Jumin under him, and straddle his body comfortably. Even though they were out in the open with the slightly warm breeze, it felt as if the entire world was filled with a mix of their scent. It was intoxicating. Zen gripped Jumin’s face and pressed his lips urgently to his. He had a serious problem with the soft, soft lips. It was hard to get it together when the older man was willing to lay like that under him, let him have his way with his mouth. All Zen wanted to do was to kiss him until they went numb and they couldn’t feel anymore.

The intensity made Jumin gasp, and by the Gods Zen felt it in him, he knew that from this point on he could not live without him, without the sound. Screw society, screw it all. He didn’t want to question, worry, and stress over the things he couldn’t control.

“I want to care for you,” Jumin said the second he paused to breathe something other than Zen’s breath. Zen was about to go right back to what he now knows as heaven when the man’s grip on his arms stopped him. “I know you don’t need anyone to take care of you… Hyun, _let me_ take care of you.”

Zen blinked down at him as his brain caught up to what was happening. His heart could not beat any faster, it would kill him. All that was left to do was for him to reel in some of the many, many emotions running through him to grasp the underlying message behind Jumin’s statement.

“I--” He was at a loss of words due of the mind blowing kisses they just shared regardless of how inexperienced Jumin was (because in the end that was the least important factor). Zen didn’t know what to respond, what to say to a confession like that. This is a first for him, to be regarded with so much love, to be talked to like someone who’s _worth_ it.

Jumin, despite his silence, didn’t back down nor did he switch gears. Instead Zen felt him struggle a bit to slide up on the lounge chair so he could grip on his waist and stare at him straight in the eyes to show he wasn’t bluffing, he wasn’t joking.

“Don’t feel like you have to say something back.” Jumin added with a smile. Zen wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t _love_ the way his lips were red and raw, all thanks to him. “This is… my first kiss. I have no idea of what I’m doing. But I do know what I want, and I wanted you to know it too.”

What he wants is to care for Zen. What he wants is what Zen has always yearned for. In theory that’s the perfect scenario; both of them fulfill each other’s desires, spend the rest of their lives happy. But this were the two of them, Jumin Han and Hyun Ryu. The two of them were not simple nor were they easy. Neither were their lives for that matter. And although the last thing he wants right now is to dampen the precious, beautiful moment between them (Jumin’s love confession), Zen has to be realistic. He can’t afford to get swept away by the illusion Jumin’s words create. Zen’s so susceptible to his kindness, and now to his lips, to his touch...

“Since when?” He asked instead, letting himself slide to the side slowly as to not hurt himself further, Jumin’s grip around his waist only loosening enough to let him do so. His body was still aching, he probably needed to take medicine but this was a more pressing matter to him. Zen’s curiosity was going to suffocate him, he wanted to know what went inside that mind of his.

Jumin ran one of his hands through his hair while the other remained on Zen’s hip. “I couldn’t tell you. I won’t lie to you and tell you I liked you at the beginning, I didn't. It was mostly your attitude that would get on my nerves.” Zen raised an eyebrow at that because he won’t lie either and say that was a crazy thought. He was difficult and hard to handle. Still is. He didn’t care though. “But somewhere along the way you captivated me and the fondness I had for you only grew. This past week has been an eye opening experience. In a handful of days you were able to show me that there’s something between us, that I feel for you differently than anyone else. ”

“How so?” The words were like the IV tying him to this world. To anyone, this interest would come off as conceited. To Zen, this words were the validation he always craved.

His red gaze was intense, just like his kiss had been. Jumin reached over and brushed some of his silver fringe away from his forehead, the gesture sweet and so unlike him. Then again, how likely was it that they’d be making out under the early morning sky after a night at the hospital? In playful retaliation Zen let a finger caress down Jumin’s stubbly jawline. All of this made his head spin in a pleasant way.

“I began to feel things I never felt before,” he explained in more depth, his voice as flat and monotone as always. “You’ve been nothing but nice, kind, and understanding to me even though we argue about the littlest thing. I used to think emotions were linear. If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t treat me as if you did, and so on. It’s obvious you care for me. I’ve always cared for you too regardless of how irritating you were, but this time around it felt different. The thought of you flirting with other people bothered me. The thought of you being close with others also bothered me. I suddenly wasn’t okay with the thought of your care and attention being shared around so freely. But most importantly, the thought of you leaving me frightened me. You’re so reckless…” And Zen understood where the older man was coming from. V’s death was still very fresh in everyone’s mind.

“I’m fine,” Zen gave him a worrying look. “This wasn’t--” He wanted to defend himself but quickly remembered his earlier accepted doom. He was an idiot. “I admit this could’ve been handled differently, but it already happened and I’m here.”

This was all a bit too much. Zen was overwhelmed with emotions, he was hurt from the accident, he didn’t know whether he couldn’t think straight because of one or the other, or both. What he did know was that Jumin’s words touched him in a way nothing ever has. All the feelings the man explained, all the ways he felt like he didn’t want Zen to belong to anyone else. That’s all he’s ever wanted to hear and he has, from no one other than Jumin. Life sure can take some sharp, baffling turns, leaving him with a blurry mind and a tingling body.

“There’s so much to think about,” if he was going to even try to have a serious conversation about this, Zen was going to be a hundred percent honest. “This was so sudden,” he ended lamely. When his charming ways--when his eloquent, flowery, soft, romantic, passionate ways were needed, they run off and hide to never be found again. Being faced with Jumin’s feelings for him was intimidating.

Zen wanted nothing more than to scream yes to his face, to tell him that he’s also had similar thoughts about him, that he would love nothing more than for them to give it a try and possibly be happy for the rest of their lives. But. What if Jumin is wrong? What if things don’t go well?

What if Zen isn’t enough.

“Let’s not worry about this right now,” Jumin mutters immediately. Zen’s lower lip trembles ghostly at the thought of the other sensing his hesitation. Had it been a mistake to not answer him immediately? “You left the hospital mere hours ago, we still don’t know how my brother is doing, and adding this to the list of things you’ll surely dwell on isn’t going to help you in any way.”

Even though he wanted to grin, Zen stared at Jumin in shadowed awe. How does he do it? How does Jumin understand him so well it makes him feel like they’ve known each other for a lifetime?

A moment after, Jumin finally sat himself up straight and got off the lounge chair to stretch his arms and legs. Zen already misses the feeling of having him pressed against his body, but he isn’t going to complain. Not when he was unable to give the _honest_ and _vulnerable_ young director an answer.

“I’m going to shower,” Jumin announced as he picked up his phone (the one that woke them up, Zen realizes now) and slid it into his pocket. “You should eat something and take your medication.”

It was as if the kiss didn’t happen. It was as if Jumin hadn’t turned his world upside down, hadn’t made him realize of things he could no longer live without.

But again, Zen can’t be offended, he can’t do anything like that when he _was unable to give the man a straight answer_. Jumin’s said it before, the truth will always solve misunderstandings, and Zen wasn’t truthful with him even though he wanted to be, more than anything in the world.

Seeing him walk away like that hurt so much.

Gathering the will to get off the lounge chair and make his way to the kitchen had been difficult but he did it, and a lovely maid was able to prepare something for him to munch on just so his stomach wouldn’t get messed up from the medicine. His lethargic movements were an indication of him falling into one of his depressive moods. Zen wanted to argue with himself that he couldn’t let himself be like that. Unless Jumin says otherwise, Zen has to assume they were still okay and this was the man being himself (or you know, unless he gathers the balls to be truthful with him).

Good thing was that he had plenty of meds to keep him asleep for the next day or two, and that gave him enough time to figure things out.

 

~

 

The water was at a lower temperature than what he usually prefers it, but Jumin _needed_ it to be that way. No matter how many minutes he’s stood under the cold rainfall shower, his body felt like it was going to melt off the face of the earth. He could feel, oh _he could feel_ his body reacting to the thought of kissing Zen again. To the thought of feeling his weight on him again, and letting him take control of the situation. To the thought of the other driving Jumin crazy even though this was the first time he’s ever done anything like that. _They kissed_. It happened. Jumin’s lips were pressed against Zen’s and the second time around it was very enjoyable. So enjoyable that he briefly wondered why let so much time pass before giving it a try. How he’s been able to go on with his life without kissing Zen.

But more importantly. Jumin told the younger man he wanted to take care of him. He let go of whatever was holding him back and told Zen the truth. Jumin wasn’t acting on anything other than his true feelings (not that he ever does otherwise). His hazy mind lost in the feeling of liberation from letting himself live his life without a second thought, from letting things _just happen_.

Zen must have seen it coming, there’s no way he didn’t. There had been so many clues, some of which he even didn’t consider until the last moment before their kiss. They’ve been flirting, they’ve been so comfortable around each other it was easy to forget they used to not be. Silly things like wearing Zen’s shirt, or the other fixing his pants, the thought of that made Jumin’s heart act differently, beat faster, up to this day. The hug at the pier, the concern and the attention. It’s the little details that pushed him over the edge. Jumin found it hard to ignore them when they affected him so deeply and significantly.

The moment at the pier when Zen held him against his body suddenly turned into the nicest sleep he’s ever had with his arms around the younger man. All the times the other considered his feelings became the silence he received after his confession. Even though Zen might not think of it this way, Jumin saw right through him when the musical actor sat there staring at him with nothing to say. If he’s allowed, he would like to show Zen from this point on how worthy of his love and attention he is.

What is he saying. Of course he will. If the fervent second kiss was an indication of anything, it’d be of the fact that his friend feels the same exact way about him. _God_. Jumin silently prayed that this was the case.

It was tempting to stay in the shower and take care of the _problem_ his obstinate body created for him, but he’d much rather go back and be next to Zen. If things continue down this path only to get better, this is quite possible one of the few times he’ll have to actually enjoy moments like what they had the previous night. And if by any chance they don’t continue, he might as well enjoy things for now. Not that he thinks it’ll end up as the latter.

Jumin turned the water off and tried his best to distract himself with the mechanical movements of drying his body and hair, morning hygiene rituals, then dressing and shaving.

The sight that greeted him as he stepped out of the bathroom was one that felt like a punch in the stomach. Zen looked troubled as he sat on the bed, phone nowhere on him and an impatient look in his eyes.

“Did you take your medicine?”

The younger man nodded and averted his eyes for a moment. Jumin didn’t wait for whatever words were coming. He walked up to the bed and leaned over him to brush some of his hair back then said, “sleep some more Hyun, I’ll let you know if my brother wakes up,” with a tone softer than usual.

When he moved to pull his hand away, Zen got a hold of it and silently demanded for him to wait. “You’re not upset?”

Frowning, Jumin blinked and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. “Why would I be upset?”

Zen’s face lit up in an instant, whatever had been troubling him completely gone. “I thought you’d feel rejected when I didn’t--Well, when I--” He watched him struggle with his words, immediately catching on to his train of thought.

“No,” he asserted. “We wouldn’t have kissed like that if you felt differently.”

“How do you know this isn’t just some casual fling?”

Jumin raised an eyebrow at the silly question. “Am I a casual fling?”

“No,” Zen immediately replied, hand loosening its grip on Jumin’s.

He smiled at the constant need to argue back the other seemed to be driven by. “Then I ask again, why would I be upset?”

Shrugging, Zen let out a laugh and slowly lowered himself on the pillows. “I don’t know. You’re so honest, it’s not something I’m used to. Not to mention I do tend to--”

“Overthink everything,” Jumin finished the thought for him, regarding him with a warm gaze. “I’m aware. Lucky for you I’m a very patient man. Take your time. You disliked me for a long time after all.”

“You disliked me too!” Zen’s blank expression had him grinning. “Don’t grin, you ass.”

“I disliked you only because _you_ disliked me.”

“Well, shit. Does it matter?” The laughing was better than the worrying, and Jumin was grateful that he had the privilege to keep hearing it. The accident was still too fresh for him to fully understand the fact that Zen was right there, in bed, well and alive.

“No, it doesn’t.” Not anymore. There was a beat of silence between them before Jumin breathed in deeply and glanced at the bathroom where he left his phone and the rest of his clothes. “Do you need me to stay with you again?”

Zen took his time to reply to that, not that Jumin was complaining. From where he sat, he could stare at the younger man in what he thinks is a very beautiful position. Zen was truly a sight to behold. “I _want_ you to,” Zen breathed out.

Jumin didn’t need to be told twice, he’s already decided that anything the musical actor wanted he could have. Before he settled down next to him, he went to retrieve his phone from the bathroom. There was a message from his sister asking him if Zen was okay. Lately he’s been wondering whether Junghee was too nice and too sweet to be part of their family, they all seem to be made of some pretty bad stuff. His not as severe as his parents and Juwon, but still.

Junghee :   
We’ll be coming by to shower and change before returning to the hospital. Please take care of Hyun!

Jumin Han :   
I will. Update me on everything.

Junghee :   
Of course! He’s no longer in a critical condition. Oh, and tell Hyun I'll give him a big hug once we're all home :)) ❤

Not wanting to keep Zen waiting, he needed the rest, Jumin made his way back to the bed and slid under the covers until he found a good position for this cuddling he was starting to get very interested in.

“You’re very willing to let me cuddle you. Who are you and what have you done with Jumin,” the joke was dumb mostly because he was assuming Jumin didn’t like cuddling. Truthfully the idea of being this close with someone, limbs entangled always bothered him, but now that he was experiencing it first hand, it was completely different than what he imagined it to be. Zen helped his own case as Jumin wouldn’t be doing this with anyone else.

“If you have a problem with it then don’t ask me to--”

“Geez! It was a joke, don’t be so serious,” Zen grumbled the last part, scooting closer so he could drape his arm around Jumin’s stomach (without any hesitation he noticed).

This was all completely new to Jumin, it’ll take time for him to get used to it, but damn what a fantastic spur of the moment had it been for him to go for it without holding anything back. Granted, wine tends to bring out his sentimental side. It’s been days, literally, yet here they were as if this is something they’ve done all their lives.

He can already tell that Hyun is going to flip his world upside down, starting with how needy he is and how it’s now up to Jumin to fulfill those needs (an exciting prospect, deep down he’s always wanted to be the person to do that for someone). Long ago when them and the rest of the RFA were going through difficult times, both Seven and Zen taught him that love can bring out a lot in one person. And it’s not like he doesn’t love, Jumin _loves_ Elizabeth. He loved V, he loved Rika once upon a time when he still believed the best of her. He loves the RFA.

His love for Zen is different though.

For years, hell, for his entire life Jumin’s been hiding his emotional side. It’s always been there, he simply chose to hide it behind his logical side. Because if you were logical, you could find a reason for everything and protect yourself from the pain and sorrow the double edged sword love is.

He no longer wanted to hide that side when it came to the younger man. Zen can see all of his sides, and he knows that he will love them. A bit of an arrogant thought, but Zen is anything but careless when it comes to his real affection, his real love. Not to mention, it’s so obvious he’s irresistible to Jumin’s charms.

What this meant for Jumin was that he needed to step it up. Momo had already talked to him about it, Jumin, just like his father, had the habit of using material things to compensate for the lack of emotional stimulation. That sort of thing will never be okay with Hyun, not when he dislikes money the ardent way he does, and not when he was such a needy thing.

In a matter of seconds the gears in his mind began to rotate, coming up with the many things that will have to change in order to accommodate someone else’s life into his. Zen’s slow breathing, his arm weighing down on his stomach, the pretty way he looked resting his forehead against Jumin’s bicep, it was all too much. If Jumin didn’t stop thinking, he would only overwhelm himself with everything.

They had plenty of time to let the dust settle, so to speak.

Being counterproductive was something he needed to stray from.

At that moment his phone went off and he picked it up to see a message from his mother. His eyebrows dipped at the request to meet her before she went back to the hospital, mostly because he felt very comfortable at the moment and another disappointing conversation would only stress him out more.

They, as in Zen and Jumin, had a lot to talk about regarding the accident. If the younger man thought he was being left off the hook, he was wrong. Jumin was taking it easy due to the fact that stressing _him_ out was a worse outcome. His eyes roamed over until they stopped at the horrible bruise that kept growing and spreading.

No, he couldn’t say no. What if his mother was trying to be honest with him?

Jumin Han :   
I’ll be there in a minute.

Slowly, Jumin moved Zen’s arm off him and slid away so he could gently get off the bed. Once he managed to triumphantly stand and not wake Zen, Jumin glanced at the windows, feeling his eyes hurt from the direct sunlight that was now draping over most of the room. The meds were pretty strong if the other was able to sleep like this.

Smiling to himself, Jumin quickly closed all the curtains and walked out of the bedroom to go see what his mother needed from him this time.

The house was so silent without his father and his girlfriend here, without Junghee and Zen chatting away happily. Speaking of his sister, he doesn’t know how the party ended and if she’ll be doing a second one to make up for cutting it short.

His thoughts stopped right there as his mother was standing by the kitchen, making herself a tea and pouring it into a traveling cup to take to the hospital, surely.

“Darling,” she greeted him in the most tired way she could. This was hard on her too, he needed to remember that. “How is Hyun?”

Yes, he was disappointed in her, yes he was upset. But she was going through something he could never imagine as he is not a parent (Elizabeth can’t be compared to his brother when this was about his mother) and the only other attachment he’s developed is sleeping soundly in the bedroom safe and sound.

“He’s fine, but he asked me to be with him while he rests.” Jumin saw his mother’s tired eyes soften as she smiled at him.

“I would also like to go back to your brother’s side. This will take no more than a couple of minutes. I wanted to apologize for being a big disappointment to you,” she offered in what he believed to be a very sincere way. His mother had the problem he had, where their tones were even and flat. “You must think of me as a horrible mother, and I don’t hold it against you if you do. I left you with your father, I never returned to your side if only to preserve the faint light of my love for you, in you.”

Jumin swallowed but remained silent. This was… well. He didn’t expect her to say anything like that. He’s not a vindictive person, he’s not a bad person either. Jumin understands that when his parents split, so did the family structure, and thus two different families were born. But he doesn’t think she’s a horrible mother. She gave him his looks, his wit, his ability to care and love, his strong sense of pride too. All of those things have gotten him far in life.

“I’ve neglected _all_ of you by being selfish. Junghee is marrying a guy who is so much older, not that I’m complaining about Charles because that’s not the case. He’s wonderful to your sister, but… it’s a bit unorthodox. Juwon keeps spinning more and more out of control. And... my baby was about to marry a woman he didn’t even know? How did that come to be, Jumin?”

There it was. “You knew?” He felt like he was having an out of body experience. That can’t be, can it? She couldn’t have feigned ignorance this whole time.

His mother shook her head and took a step forward, reaching with her hand until she cupped his cheek with it. “No, Junghee told me earlier today. And I feel like it’s worse that I didn’t know. I still can’t believe your father… but, this isn’t about him. This is about me.”

It’s been so long since Jumin’s thought of his mother as _his mother_. She was looking at him with so much sorrow that he wanted to tell her not to worry about it because it was okay. He was okay. He had Zen now, and he was going to heal that part of him with all his love and his care. But he also wanted to tell her that for a while he felt like he had no one in his family on his side. That no one could understand him, that up until the engagement fiasco he thought his father was the one person in the world able to understand him.

When Jumin began to wonder how exactly did his sister know of his engagement, his mother threw him for a loop with what she said next. “I’ve been keeping this secret for too long, and I no longer care. I shouldn’t have cared from the very beginning but I can’t go back in time.”

“What are you talking about?” It was a bit difficult to follow along to what he didn’t understand the context behind her words.

There was an unpleasant, heavy silence hanging between them. “You’re an adult. A very handsome, smart, grown man, and I must treat you as such. Long ago your father made me agree to never tell anyone that Juwon is only your and Junghee’s half brother,” she finally explained, the soft words shocking him from how out of place they felt.

“When you say he made you agree, what do you mean?” After what his father did to him, he can’t help imagining the worst, most cunning type of ways his father forced her into keeping the secret. “And why?”

“Your father has by far the biggest pride, Jumin. He couldn’t allow his wife to be unfaithful to him, even though he had been unfaithful to me many times throughout our marriage. He wanted to take you and your sister away from me. He convinced me by reminding me of how terrible Juwon’s future would be if he was known as the bastard child. I couldn’t allow that to happen.”

Wait, but why? His father couldn’t be--Jumin refuses to believe he’s a _bad_ person. He isn’t, he loves him and Junghee and--Oh.

“Is this why he never calls Juwon son?” This is something he’s noticed in the brief situations where they all happen to be around each other. He never talks to him either, and now that he knows the truth it’s easy to see why that is. Jumin can’t believe he never saw anything wrong with it. Sure, they don’t usually spend time together, but how can something so glaringly obvious get past him?

His mother nodded and lowered her eyes. “Juwon doesn’t know any of this. He grew up believing your father is his as well. I wish that weren’t the case. You brother wouldn’t have hurt for so long if he had known the truth.”

Jumin wanted to ask her _why_ she didn’t just tell him. Why not be honest and let him know the truth now that Junghee is old enough to not be taken away.

“Three years ago, when your brother first moved to Europe, he got involved in a very serious situation similar to this one.”

And from this point on she doesn’t have to explain anything to him because he can deduce the rest of the story. He knew Juwon had done something, he just knew it. The lawyer was at the hospital because his father, like with the previous situation, had to be prepared. The Han family can’t have such scandals flare up, not when they involve people getting hurt and drugs. His father’s womanizing isn’t as serious as what happened in Europe. Jumin couldn’t relate.

He didn’t care what other people thought of him, he didn’t care what the press had to say. It didn’t matter. Somehow his father got so lost on the image he had to uphold that he kept his brother’s real father a secret from him and Junghee, he greeted a distressed Jumin with a ‘is Hyun going to sue?’, he manipulated the media so no one would know he almost forced his son to marry an unknown woman. What else is there that Jumin doesn’t know?

“Jumin,” his mother slid her hand down until she could grab one of his. “Please don’t treat Juwon any differently--”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted her abruptly. This is where any misconception of him ends. “I don’t care if he has a different father, he’s still my brother as much as Junghee is my sister, and I promise I’ll work hard to strengthen our relationship. But why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think differently of me.”

This was his turn to look away. “I am fully aware of Father’s tasteless _tendencies_ , you shouldn’t have doubted me. Family is what’s most important to me.”

“Believe me when I say it was never my intention to doubt you. I’m sure one day you’ll understand, when you have your own children, how far you’ll be willing to go to protect them, and how painful it is to see that what you think is the best decision ends up hurting them more.” Sighing, his mother took a step back and looked at him with a smile. “Even though I wasn’t there for you for as long as I would’ve wanted to, I’m very proud of you and the man you’ve become. I promise to do the same and work hard to strengthen my relationship with you.”

Jumin is grateful that his mother chose to not only be honest with him, but trust him with such grave detail. “Does Junghee know about Juwon?”

“No darling,” she muttered as she turned to finish getting her tea ready. “But I will tell her soon. I’m so tired of seeing my children suffer because of my bad decisions and my bad parenting. I’ve already lost so much time from your life, from hers, I don’t want to lose anymore of it.” Jumin understood where she was coming from. “I want to be there for when you move on to the next big thing in your life, I want to come visit you and Hyun, I would like for all of us to get together sometime and have fun like the family we’re supposed to be.”

All that was left to do was for his father to step up and own his mistakes. To apologize for what he did, for what he’s still doing, and to promise Jumin that he will never do it again. For now he was happy with this, so happy that he felt his body warm at the idea of them all getting together for holidays like Christmas, or his mother coming to visit simply because she wanted to see her son.

When his mother left to go back to Juwon’s side at the hospital, Jumin retreated back to the bedroom with a more lighter mood. He was ecstatic. As he slipped back on the bed on top of the covers, Jumin felt a new surge of emotions when he admired Zen’s sleeping face and thought how he couldn’t wait to tell him what happened. The younger man has been making everything better for him since he came along on the trip, but this beats anything that’s happened in the past week or so.

That’s not to say everything is perfect, because everything isn’t. There were still many unanswered questions, many conversations yet to happen, but that couldn’t stop him from feeling like he gained much more than a good deal. This wasn’t business, this was his private life, his family. His hope had been running thin and the conversation with his mother revivified it to the point that he was positive his father was going to come around. If she could come around, his father surely could.

This day was going down on his calendar as the best day of his life. He gained back his family, but he also gained a new addition to it, Zen.

With a warm kiss on Zen’s bruised temple Jumin willingly moved the younger man’s arm to rest on his stomach the way it did before he left, then grabbed his phone to browse on it while he waited for him to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [CHECK THIS OUT](https://luillaby.tumblr.com/post/169966201216/mystic-messenger-fancast-revised-jumin) if you want to see my own rendition of a fan cast for Mystic Messenger! I'm super proud of it ꒰✩’ω`ૢ✩꒱
> 
> 1\. Them damn Han arms, too strong for Zen to handle apparently
> 
> 2\. Let’s get one thing clear, the only time zen is obedient is when jumin asks him for things hohoho ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
> 
> 3\. Agh boyfriends belonging to each other is my weakness
> 
> 4\. i’m trying my best to stay as cheesy as i can in this story the way the game was cheesy af lol it’s hard to balance with the drama. But if the game did it for multiple storylines, i can do it with this one single storyline XDD
> 
> 5\. THERE IT IS, THE SECOND BEST LOVE CONFESSION EVER. Jumin gets second place because no one can top Seven’s love confession to MC. But both are cheesy af and super intense lmaooo no chill.
> 
> 6\. It’s ironic how jumin was the one to confess between them, and also explain his feelings to zen. BUT LISTEN. Jumin would. He’s very blunt and has honestly zero qualms. Zen on the other hand overthinks everything and would doubt the fucking sun rising if he could. The best thing is that Jumin knows this lol he knows zen like no one does and that’s what makes it all so beautiful my god
> 
> 7\. This chapter was meant to feel a certain way, mostly because of the mood and their personalities. Despite them being very volatile when going against each other, I actually believe the two would be very gentle and smooth going on the same direction. Rika mentions that Zen would ‘make a great friend with Jumin IN PARTICULAR' and I believe this is why. They're a two piece puzzle.
> 
> 8\. Lets all agree to give jumin a break because this was his first kiss, the man took the initiative and went for it, and even though zen was all intense and extra about what followed, jumin kept it together and enjoyed it for what it was; his cherry popping lip experience. a round of applause (because honestly who else would've been able to resist hot af zen?? come on)
> 
> 9\. Fluff, fluff everywhere ✿✿✿
> 
> 10\. DRAMA! Juwon isn’t Chairman Han’s son!!!!!!! But beautiful, soft Jumin doesn’t care. He’s still his baby brother and he will make sure the kid knows. What a cutie I just can’t. He loves his family too much.
> 
> 11\. Jumin with his high hopes is the most precious thing and I dearly hope that his asshole of a dad doesn’t fucking ruin it. Thankfully he has Zen to support him if he does...
> 
> 12\. Totally random trivia, but each chapter has it's own Notes file, and those files are between 7 to 12 pages each fyi hahahaahahahahahaha kill me
> 
> -
> 
> I want to thank you all for your patience with me!! A lot of things have happened in the last couple of weeks (unexpected things, may I mention), and they will continue to happen, but nothing will stop me from finishing this story. We're almost done!!! And no worries, ya'll will get every itch scratched ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ❀
> 
> To my readers, kudoers, and reviewers. Thank you for making the times between chapters less painful (I'm dealing with an injury atm), and for making me laugh, blush, coo, and just plain love yall hahaha When I'm feeling tired and I need a push, I go back to your reviews and have a good laugh and gain the energy from the amazing things you write to me. Thank you, I want you to know that I appreciate the time you take to tell me your thoughts, even if they're brief. That doesn't matter, what matters is that I appreciate it and that I love every single one of them!!!


	11. When things for Zen start to fall into place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally things are falling into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so yall dont have to google this shit: multibillion wons would roughly be multimillion dollars.
> 
> Also, there’s this inconsistency I noticed with the word chat room. I’ve been writing it both chatroom and chat room. Sorry about that lmao I just don’t know which of the fucking words it’s supposed to be XDDD
> 
> —
> 
> I've been in and out of the hospital, so my bad I took forever lol Also, one of those trips was to the ER because I accidentally impaled myself with a knife T_T so many stitches. Please excuse any blatant mistakes, I'm under a lot of medication rn lolol
> 
> ALSO AS A THANK YOU I made you guys [this](https://luillaby.tumblr.com/post/170956527356/pillow-talk) drawing. I hope you like it! :3
> 
> —
> 
> Warning: sexual content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Jumin Han:** [attached photo]

 **707:** um…

Jumin paused his fingers centimeters away from the screen when his screen disappeared to show there was a call from Saeyoung. He didn’t know whether to answer it or not since Zen was still dead asleep, but it’s been hours and he had no more paperwork to go through (he suspects Yoosung isn’t sending him all the pending documents, but since he was in such a good mood Jumin was going to let it slide). No, he didn’t want to disturb the younger man. He needed to heal and the doctor was very specific when he said Zen needed to rest.

When he cancelled the call, Seven immediately messaged him a large amount of code he couldn’t figure out without professionally studying it.

707:   
┐(´д`)┌  
)Д⊙`)  
|Д´)/  
ミ(ノ_ _)ノ

Jumin Han:   
I’m not sure I understand what’s happening.

707:   
YOU JUST SHARED THE PICTURE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE

Pulling his phone back, Jumin exited the screen and went back to the other one to see that he indeed just shared a picture of Zen sleeping, snuggled against him. Oh well. Hopefully the easily irritable younger man won’t be upset about it. They had to eventually tell the others--Unless--Checking back on the chat room, he saw Jaehee and Yoosung had already commented on it. Even if he asked Seven to remove it, it wouldn’t matter at this point. _Forget about that plan_ , he thought to himself. He needs to pay more attention when he’s using the RFA app.

It’s hard to pay attention when Zen looks this good sleeping.

Jumin Han:   
I don’t like how everyone can see all chat rooms… You should do something about this.

707:   
I HAVE it’s called PRIVATE MESSAGING ;;;; the one we’re doing RIGHT NOW  
what were you trying to do anyway??? why is he wearing bandages??

Jumin Han:   
Show you that he’s mine now and that he was in an accident. I didn’t call because he’s resting and I don’t want to disturb him.

707:   
HE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT??? WTF DUDE??  
don’t you have dozens of bodyguards follow you around all the time!?!?  
WHY WAS HE IN AN ACCIDENT

Jumin Han:   
Hold on, I might as well explain everything in the chat room. I’d rather not repeat myself.

If the medicine is as potent as it seems to be, Jumin could _not_ get in trouble with Zen because of his mishap. He truly didn’t intend to go behind the musical actor’s possible wishes to keep this private. Surely he’d understand?

 **Yoosung:** oh. my. god.

 **Yoosung:** did you send this by mistake? was this not meant for our eyes to see?

 **Jaehee Kang:** ……...

 **Yoosung:** also ist hat a brus ee???

 **Jumin Han:** Everyone calm down.

 **707:** >_< don’t say that to people if you want them to calm down

 **Jaehee Kang:** ….……………………

 **707:** u ok jaehee? ;;

 **Yoosung:** please tel m e thts not a brsise??!?!? PLSEE

 **Jumin Han:** I can’t do that because it is a bruise. Zen was in an accident but he’s okay. The doctor released him and I’m making sure he’s taking his medicine.

 **707:** What kind of accident? Why?

 **Jaehee Kang:** I’m glad he’s okay. My heart stopped for a moment.

 **Yoosung:** oh, ok, that’s good. I was so scared, I think my heart also stopped

 **Yoosung:** What was the accident?

 **Jumin Han:** Please don’t worry about him, he’s in good care. :)

 **Yoosung:** did u just use a smiley face

 **707:** bahahaha

 **Jaehee Kang:** Jumin I’m going to trust your word and not inquire or worry any longer.

 **Yoosung:** …..you just want to ignore the fact that

 **707:** Yeah, I’ll do the same

 **Yoosung:** jumin took the picture from a very suspicious angle, don’t you jaehee?

 **707:**  ;) ;) ;);););)

 **Yoosung:** OMG.

 **Jaehee Kang:** ………………………………………………………………

**Jaehee Kang: save**

**707:** aaand she’s gone.

 **Jumin Han:** I’m going to leave too. I’ll keep you all updated.

Not having anything else to do other than to lounge there and wait, Jumin opened one of his favorite bookmarks on his phone and began to browse through the Urban Dictionary website as he does on the rare moments he’s unoccupied. Truthfully it was hard to focus too much on anything at the moment so he doubted he’d spend much of his time on the website anyway.

There were so many things going about in his head, mostly pertaining to Zen but the rest to his family, who he still hasn’t spoken with since his mother chatted with him. Jumin felt a bit anxious to speak with his father, to hear his side of the story. If only he knew what motives supported his actions then maybe this would all be so different. It’s a bit heartbreaking to realize he doesn’t know his father at all. Or maybe he does. That’s the thing, if his father communicated with him truthfully, Jumin wouldn’t have to resort to guesses and assumptions. There’s nothing more annoying to him than guesses and assumptions, because while they can be true, they can also be false.

The warm, snuggled body next to him moved, pulling his thoughts away from his father and his behavior to focus back on the younger man. Even though he probably felt fine after leaving the hospital and throughout the night, Zen looked like he needed to sleep for three days straight.

“Evening,” Jumin greeted him with a smile and a soft brush of his hair. “You have officially slept as much as I normally do in about a week.”

Zen took a deep breath and emerged from under the warm covers to blink up at Jumin and smile back. “I thought this was a dream,” he muttered before shifting to move up on the pillows and rest his head on them properly.

“Oh no, you definitely were in an accident.”

“I meant you,” his cheeks flushed but Zen didn’t look away as Jumin lowered his eyes to meet his, “here, with me.” The comment put a lot into perspective to the point that Jumin had no idea what to reply. “Resting isn’t so bad if you’re here with me,” Zen added tiredly yet looking equally satisfied with the situation.

He had plenty to say to that on the other hand. “I’m not always going to be here as I’m a busy person in general, but the plan is that you won’t get into more accidents.” Jumin remembers how much Zen nagged about having to stay put because of his leg injury the previous year. It pleases him greatly that he makes the process bearable for Zen. _Greatly_.

Ominous silence fell between them and Jumin wondered if he said something wrong. When he opened his mouth to say something, Zen beat him to it with a comment that left him a bit confused.

“You know, relationships take a lot of time and effort. Are you sure it’s something you’ll be able to handle? Can you do it?”

It’s nice to know that he’s spot on when it comes to Zen and his many different moods. Silently, Jumin mentally prepared himself for the hurdles he was about to go through having this conversation with him. The younger man has a habit of getting offended over things he says, and Jumin thinks it’s something that can be worked on to improve the way they communicate with each other.

“I would think the fact that I _want_ to would matter more than whether I can or not, or am I mistaken?” Because if you _want_ something then you can make it happen. Or at least Jumin can. He’s incredibly skilled like that.

Biting his lip, Zen said, “but we all want things, Jumin--”

“Not me. I don’t want things,” Jumin interrupted him and Zen wasn’t very happy about that, probably because he was arguing back. But it’s true. Jumin can have anything he could ever desire, therefore he doesn’t desire anything. Wanting Zen--this was new as well, but oh so very exciting.

“What I’m trying to say is that a relationship isn’t easy,” the younger man began to elaborate with a bit of an irritated tone. “You’re going to have to make a lot of compromises and sacrifices. I need to know if this is something you’re willing to do.”

Jumin was intrigued by what Zen was telling him. He isn’t wrong, Jumin’s read (briefly) about relationships and he understands what the other is trying to tell him. “Are you trying to convince me that this is a bad idea?”

“No!” Zen raises his voice in panic but quickly lowers it when he realizes that Jumin was genuinely asking. “I’m just trying to look out for myself. You’re older than me, you’re also way inexperienced. I don’t want to get hurt.”

Ah, of course. “I don’t want to get hurt either.” A true statement although now that Zen has reciprocated his feelings, he isn’t sure what else could potentially hurt him.

A perfectly shaped silver eyebrow was raised. “We both know--” Zen began to say as he kept a flawless stoic expression (Jumin was always intrigued at the sight generally reserved for everyone but him), “--the only emotionally vulnerable one here is me.”

Silence hung between them once again as Jumin thought about what he was being told. Somehow the musical actor has decided that Jumin was incapable of being emotionally vulnerable. The thought was so simplistic that he didn’t even have it in him to at least raise a hand, point at the home where his very out of control family was currently residing and remind him of the reason they’re here. Zen continued with his argument when he realized Jumin wasn’t going to speak up.

“Listen, I’m not trying to devalue your feelings or anything like that. But I’m sensitive, I know this and I own it. I don’t take rejection very well, try to imagine what something between us would do to me. Take it as me giving you a warning right now. No take backs.”

No ‘take backs’? That was a foreign term to him.

“I’m very needy,” Jumin’s eyes followed Zen as he sat up to be at eye level with him. “I’m going to constantly want your attention.”

“I can handle that,” he replies with honesty. Zen is already a constant in Jumin’s mind, how different from that would it be to take a moment out of his day to message or call him when they’re apart. That is an undertaking easy to do. Just another task in his agenda.

“I’m also very physical. I like kisses, to touch, all the nice stuff.” Fighting the urge to smile at him pointing the obvious, Jumin let him finish before saying anything else. “Sometimes I need reassurance and validation, and it’s going to be your job to give it to me.” There was an itch at the back of his mind telling him that Zen was purposely making himself sound intolerable, but Jumin decided not to comment on it, at least not right now.

With a smile, Jumin held the other’s pretty red eyes with his own and said, “I run multi-billion won projects and you think telling you you’re beautiful and that I love you is going to be a challenge? I practically did that all morning yesterday.” Without the ‘I love you’s but that's besides the point.

The comment frizzles Zen visibly and Jumin immediately regrets it. This wasn’t a lighthearted conversation in the chat room. This was a real, deep conversation about their brand new, very fresh relationship and the next step for them to take.

“That’s the thing Jumin, I’m not a project. I’m a _person_ with real _feelings_ and thoughts, and I will require time and attention. Sometimes I’ll want all of it, other times I might not.” His smile came back as soon as Zen made himself sound like a cat. “Relationships can’t be put in graphics or statistics. They’re all different--”

His question is, why is Zen so fixated on Jumin not willing or not being able to do or not do? Was _he_ not the one who spoke clearly and honestly earlier that morning?

“Hyun,” Jumin finally decides to end whatever woes the other has in mind, “I can’t tell you that our relationship will be perfect. I can’t guarantee that I won’t make mistakes. But if you’re willing to be patient with me as I learn, and teach me how to make this work for both of us, I promise everything will be okay. My intention is to love you, not to hurt you.”

Jumin doesn’t make meaningless promises.

That is enough to leave Zen speechless so Jumin goes in on him again in an attempt to dissipate whatever worries the other has. Put it all into perspective. “What about you,” he’s been itching to ask him this question, doubt creeping in on him since the silence his confession received, “are _you_ prepared to compromise and make sacrifices for me?”

Because if Zen thinks Jumin doing what he already had the expectation of doing is going to be hard, he better strap himself to his seat when he listens to the restrains being with Jumin will entail.

Just like he did this morning, the musical actor kept his lips tightly closed. This didn’t sit well with Jumin. There is absolutely no problem with Zen demanding the world from Jumin, but he expects the other to be okay with Jumin doing the same. This wasn’t a one way street--

“Yes, I am,” he spoke softly but firmly, “I am willing _and_ prepared to compromise and make sacrifices for you. I’m not trying to take advantage of you, Jumin. I’m not playing around. You’re… you. A loner, quiet, annoying at times, very busy. _We’re_ busy people, we have our own accomplishments and desires. That’s not going to stop me from looking out for you and give you the love and attention _you deserve_.”

Brushing aside the questionable comment about him being himself, they were indeed busy people. There will be times when the two will be apart for long periods of time. The fact that Zen was willing to go through phases of loneliness spoke volumes of what he felt for Jumin. Zen being so open about this not being a spur of the moment situation--His chest couldn’t swell up more. He was beyond happy.

A gentle hand brushed back Jumin’s hair from his forehead, then the other scooted closer until their lips were inches apart. “I _will_ take care of you, Jumin,” Zen whispered, pulling his face closer so they could kiss, and Jumin welcomed him.

To think that the two were being drawn to each other for the least expected reasons sent his mind reeling on and on without a stop. Seven mentioned Jumin not knowing he was in love, he’ll be damned the kid was right. Luckily he hadn’t been the only one standing in the shadows so to speak, and he can say with certainty that having Zen’s company made the situation seem less undignified.

It was only a matter of seconds before Jumin found himself slowly laying back on the bed while Zen moved his lips against his, the tip of his tongue leaving a velvety hot trail as he tried to pry his mouth open to deepen the kiss. His mind was too aware of the fact that this was a bit too fast too soon no matter how much he _knew_ he _wanted_ it. Is it too fast too soon if it’s what both want? Does it matter when both want it?

The level of comfort he feels when he’s with Zen was unparalleled, not even his late best friend was quite up to that level. Being this close to the younger man, having him invade every inch of the personal space he values makes him feel like a whole new person. Makes him ponder on lots of things he otherwise wouldn’t bother revising. Like whether he should stop this now before it becomes hard to even _think_ it.

Turning his face away from Zen’s, Jumin grabs a hold of one of the younger man’s hands and brings it up to leave a kiss on the skin of his palm, a gesture birthed from his deeply hidden nature.

“Is my kissing too much?” Zen asks as he pulls away, letting Jumin have some space to breathe. His lips were curved in a smile, but his eyes spoke of a concern with overstepping boundaries that made Jumin fall impossibly deeper in love.

He feels like he’s finally gotten what he’s been waiting for even though he wasn’t aware of the fact that he had been waiting for something. That’s how _perfectly_ he thinks Zen compliments him and his personality. Despite the possible conflict due to their stubborness, or the very different worlds they come from, the good outweighs any argument or misunderstanding they could have. They take the good with the bad. And it’s been a day of the relationship, a day in which Zen spent most of it asleep. Life is great.

 _It’s a beautiful world_ , Jumin thought.

“Not at all,” he replies with a sneaky press of his lips to the corner of Zen’s mouth on his way up. “It’s pleasant and I find it hard to stop,” Jumin brings down the other’s hand and presses it against his chest where Zen can feel his wildly beating heart. It might look a certain way to the musical actor, but Jumin didn’t want to stop. “But I suggest we give ourselves time to adjust to the _changes_ before we go any further.”

“I understand,” Zen laughs and sits back, giving Jumin a wonderful view of how happy _and_ healthy he looks despite what happened the previous day. “I thought I’d feel apprehensive and uncertain about the changes… turns out you’re the easiest thing I’ve ever gotten used to.” The sincere smile and the redness flaring up on his face got to Jumin. He’s trying very hard here, all he wants to do are bad things when he looks at Zen. He wants to grab the younger man, pull him against his body and kiss him until the two couldn’t breathe but they have all the time in the world for that later.

They had so much to talk about. For starters he needed to tell him about the picture in the chat room. They were still dealing with the aftermath of the accident, which reminded him of what he’s been waiting Zen to wake up for.

“My mother and I had a conversation earlier when she came back to freshen up,” he began once his heart settled down long enough to let him concentrate on anything other than Zen’s lips, body, gorgeous face. The younger man raised an eyebrow and gathered all of his attention so he could intently listen to the new developments. “She revealed something that I wasn’t expecting at all, but most importantly is she promised to be more involved in my life after we go back to our normal lives.”

The younger man looked shocked for a moment as Jumin began to smile softly. “Wow, Jumin, that’s incredible.” He was just as surprised as Jumin. “I remember when you said you got your personality from your mom, I can see what you mean. Both of you come off as--” Zen paused to read his face before he continued with his thought, “--rigid and unemotional, but you’re actually very soft on the inside.”

Back when they went out for a drink, Jumin had insinuated that his mother was as bad as his father, Zen is correct, this proves that despite their contrasting personalities of warm and cold, his mother ended up being the one with the warmest heart.

“I wouldn’t call me ‘soft’, but I’m not unemotional,” Jumin says with a deep breath, they’ve discussed this. Soft...

Choosing to ignore Jumin’s argument, Zen asked him, “are you going to tell me what this unexpected revelation from your mom is?”

“My father isn’t Juwon’s father,” he confessed, the thought still not of any significance to him.

“What.”

Jumin simply reiterated his previous statement, “Juwon isn’t my father’s son.”

Waving his hand in front of him, Jumin noticed how fast Zen became unsettled. “No, no, I got that,” he clarified before closing his eyes in frustration. “You’re telling me _that’s_ the reason he’s pushed away by your dad!?”

He didn’t say anything right away, so Zen rubbed his face in frustration and sighed before he asked, “have you and Junghee been the only two to get anything from your dad? And I don’t mean just money. I mean love and support.”

Glancing away in thought, Jumin comes to the conclusion that yes, that seems to be a fact. He’s _never_ heard his father talk about Juwon, and it’s strange to just now notice how odd that is. His sister has come up in conversations between them a couple of times, but never his brother.

“Your dad can’t get any worse, Jumin,” the younger man breathes out in irritation, “I’m not surprised at this point.”

“I--”

Zen shook his head and glanced down at the empty space on the bed between them. “Sorry,” he apologized with a sad smile, “I know this is the last thing you need at the moment.”

While his thoughts were sweet, Jumin wanted to tell him that he didn’t need or not need anything. There was nothing wrong with the other voicing his opinion, at least not to Jumin. It was one of the things that made him stand out from anyone else Jumin’s ever met. What made him catch his eye in the first place (aside from the obvious which were the otherworldly looks Jumin insistently denied for a long time).

His phone’s ringtone broke the tension between them that stemmed from Zen’s dislike of his father. When he saw it was his sister, Jumin immediately opened the call expecting anything.

“Brother,” her voice rang so loud he knew Zen was able to hear her too, “Juwon is awake! The doctor said he’s still in a lot of pain but for now he’s stable.”

“Juwon is awake,” Jumin said even though the younger man was already getting off the bed once again, except this time he began to look for clothes. “We’ll be on our way immediately.”

“Mom’s with him now,” Junghee explained calmly, “he asked for Hyun. See you guys when you get here!”

For a brief moment Jumin considered asking Zen to stay, but coming along meant he could get checked by the doctor. This wasn’t the musical actor’s first accident or the worst injuries he’s ever gotten, but Jumin wasn’t used to nor does he think he’ll ever get used to the fast speed Zen healed. There was no explanation behind it, which meant it could _not be_ any other time.

When Zen noticed that he wasn’t moving, he stopped pulling his shirt on to tilt his head at him. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to…”

“No,” Jumin shook his head and finally got off the bed. The paperwork completed was left forgotten on the bedside table. “Let’s go. I’d like for you to get looked at by a doctor while we’re there.” While laying in bed and kissing all day sounded like the perfect time after being through so much stress, he wanted to see his brother too.

The only response from Zen was a roll of his eyes.

 

~

 

The drive back to the hospital was anything but quiet. Jumin unabashedly told him that he had accidentally shared a picture of him with the others in the chat room, almost giving Zen a heart attack. The second he checked his phone (which surprisingly enough has been forgotten by him the length of the trip, along with the daily selcas he likes to take) Zen saw he had been bombarded with calls and messages from everyone. Yoosung, his princess, Seven, even Jaehee. He didn’t feel like dealing with any of that at the moment, but he did take a peek at the picture Jumin shared, you know, to see if he at least looked good.

He did. He looked _very_ good, _very_ comfortable _cuddling up to Jumin_. The bastard.

“Are you upset?” Jumin asked him. Looking up from his phone, Zen met his dark eyes and actively breathed in and out for ten seconds. As petty as Jumin can be, this didn’t fit any narrative in which he’d want to annoy Zen. The accident and the relationship were a delicate topic and Jumin was smart enough to know this. But still, he needed to ask.

“Are you sure it was an accident?”

Frowning, Jumin looked away from him and said, “of course. I wouldn’t tell the others about your accident or… us… if I didn’t know it’s something you’d be okay with.”

Zen wanted to believe--No, scratch that. He believes Jumin, but it’s hard to accept it because the older man is literally the most inconsiderate person he knows. Then again, Jumin seems to be like that to everyone except for him. _And you did admit he was a smart man, so let it go._

“I don’t mind,” he ended up replying. “If you want the others to know. It’ll make things less awkward between all of us I guess.” Even though Jaehee was sure to make a big deal about him being no longer being ‘available to the fans’. Seven and his princess were going to be so extra about it. Yoosung wouldn’t leave Jumin alone. What he wasn’t sure about was the rest of the world knowing. The relationship is brand spanking new and it could go in any direction from this point on. His fans, Jumin’s work partners, they didn’t need to follow along, they didn’t need to know to begin with.

It hurts to think he’ll be keeping this from his fans, but he can’t help wanting to protect himself. It was such a double edged sword. If it had been anyone else, Jaehee, his princess, he would’ve proclaimed to the whole world that they were his and no one and nothing would come between them. With Jumin… Zen would stand at the top of the world and declare Jumin his one and only love from this day to forever, except that he wants his cake and to eat it too. They needed to thread carefully, if only until they’re used to the idea of rejection from the world. Dramatic, he knows, but Zen was used to always bracing for the worst. Everyone will eventually find out one way or another.

A finger on his chin startled him, but Zen let Jumin pull his face close so they could press their lips in a warm kiss. Zen wondered if with time Jumin’s kisses would stop making him feel like his heart was going to stop. “You have all the control,” he assured him softly. “I’m being truthful when I say I don’t know what I’m doing, but I would rather you do what makes you comfortable.”

“Are you shrugging off any responsibility?” His tone was unfavorable. Despite that, Zen had to admit it was very sweet of Jumin. Very sweet.

“I have an idea of how relationships work, but I’d like to _not_ upset you in any way until you’re so in love with me you won’t leave me when I do.”

Zen couldn’t help laughing at that. “ _When_?” How on earth is he infatuated with the guy.

“I’m astonishingly handsome, smart, and rich, but even I can admit I’m not perfect.”

 _Only when it’s convenient that is_ , Zen thought to himself. He didn’t say anything though, instead Zen pondered on how nice it was to hear he had the control. It was probably meant as a joke knowing the idiot’s terrible sense of humor (still sweet), but Zen chose to view it in a good light.

“Mmhm,” regardless of the intentions, Zen teased him because how could he let Jumin off so easily.

Junghee greeted them as soon as they arrived and she looked very tired. Zen felt bad that her wedding was in two days, but no one saw the accident coming (actually, he did but Jumin dismissed it and to be fair he originally thought the older man was the one who’d get hurt).

“I’m glad to see you’re looking better,” Junghee whispered with a gentle touch on the healing bruise. “ It’s been a long night,” she said as she let Zen wrap his arms tightly around her petite body. “Charles is taking a call,” Junghee kissed his cheek and grabbed him by his arm to pull him along towards the cushioned chairs.

“How’s Juwon?” Jumin asked as soon as she took a seat. “Have you seen him?”

Zen watched her nod her head and looked down tiredly. “He’s not okay,” she eased right into the bottom line, he noted. “There were a bunch of bad things in his system, he also broke a couple of ribs.”

Ouch. Those won’t give him a pleasant healing process, but Zen can hardly feel bad for the kid. He did this to himself. Avoiding Jumin’s look, Zen turned to the young Han sister and smiled brightly at her. “I’m sure he’ll recover fast, he’s a healthy, young kid.”

“Don’t worry Junghee,” the young director assured his sister. Being a spectator of the soft side Jumin hid was a lot of fun. Zen felt a flurry of excitement and anticipation at the thought of discovering all the faces Jumin was made of.

“I’m sad he’s going to miss the wedding. I don’t think they’ll clear him out for ceremony or the reception. I know I told you he was physically stable but that doesn’t mean he isn’t in a delicate state mentally and emotionally.”

Watching the siblings go through this reminded him of what Jumin said about his parents. How they’re the ones that would always get the end of the stick whenever they’d go at it. This was literally the epitome of it. Zen can _guarantee_ the reason Juwon is the way he is, is because of his dad and the way he’s been treated. There were so many similarities between the two of them. Just as Juwon has, Zen has done things out of spite and out of the pain of being rejected.

Was he maybe an illegitimate child or some bullshit of that sort?

“This could’ve ended worse,” Jumin began as he gently patted his sister’s arm, “so be happy that he’ll be here to see video and pictures of it.”

Junghee’s eyes began to glisten with unshed tears and she turned to hug Jumin even though the older man didn’t seem to be prepared for that at all. “Thank you Jumin, you’re such a good brother.”

Looking down at his hands, Zen thought about revealing the events of the previous day to the two siblings. He was now in a _real_ relationship with Jumin. There’s something Zen can’t stand about people who are supposedly in love, and that’s the secret keeping. As hypocritical as he can be at times, this was something he wasn’t going to allow himself to do because it didn’t sit well with his beliefs.

“Your brother has a problem,” he eased himself into it, claiming the attention of the other two. “I don’t mean to make any assumptions, but maybe you two should advice him to get help.”

Jumin watched him closely, trying to tie the ends of the strings together no doubt. “Is this because of the drugs?”

“He has a huge bag of drugs in his bedroom. He showed it to me right before he got upset and ran off--”

Covering her mouth, Junghee kept any comments as he thought of the best way to explain what he was trying to say. He quickly realized that starting from the beginning would be the best choice as it’d give them insight on how everything developed.

“I woke up from a nap,” Zen glanced up at Jumin quickly, recalling the _naughty_ thoughts he fell asleep to, “and decided that afternoon was the perfect time to have a talk with Juwon. When he let me into his room, he offered me a drink and I took it. It tasted awful, but he offered more and I agreed thinking he’d warm up to me if we shared a couple of drinks.”

The small smile on Jumin’s mouth didn’t go unnoticed.

“He told me how he felt about some things, and that’s when he offered me the drugs. Of course I refused them and questioned him about them, but that’s when things took a turn for the worst.”

The long pause made Zen feel a bit uncomfortable mostly because he knew Jumin had been very curious about the details and he honestly hoped to whatever is up in the sky that the older man didn’t expect anything different. Zen would never do drugs nor would he offer them to Juwon.

“Junghee, could I speak with Hyun in private?”

The young woman nodded and said, “I’ll be right back,” before walking off to where the bathrooms were located.

Zen expected Jumin to accuse him of what he feared, but the man simply asked him for more details, easing his tightening chest.

“What exactly did you talk about with Juwon?”

“Does it matter Jumin?” He didn’t want to be the one to say what Juwon shared with him, but if it’d help him in the long run, he’d run his damn mouth.

Licking his lips, Jumin sighed and moved to sit on one of the cushioned chairs. “You seem to be the one he talks to. He doesn’t talk to anyone, not even Mother.”

It was going to be hard to admit to Jumin, the one who adores his family to bits even though they might not return the feeling, that his brother despised him. “Juwon has issues with you,” and now he understood why. It all made sense after what Gaeul admitted to the older man. “He feels ostracised by you and your dad. The only reason he told me this was because he related to me. We’re not that different, me and your brother. We fell victims to the rejection of our families and our paths drifted off from that of our siblings.”

Jumin reached out with his hand to get him to sit on the chair next to his. Zen touched the warm fingers and did what he was being asked to do. His stomach exploded in butterflies from the comfort the other was so openly willing to give. It was just right. _Hyun, he gets you_ , he thought to himself with a soft smile.

“Now we know why that is, your dad did that on purpose. But you, Jumin, you should really try to get closer to him. He never had his dad, he might lose his mom when he finds out all the pain he’s been through is because of a kept secret. You need to be there for him, you and Junghee need to be there for him.”

What he means to say is, they can’t let Juwon think he’s all alone. That can lead to worse things than the drugs or the accident. So much worse.

“Of course, I’ve already decided I want us to be closer,” Jumin agreed which Zen knew he would, but the problem wasn’t whether he wouldn’t. This was a very delicate situation, someone like Junghee had the appropriate level of common sense to be able to navigate it without a problem. Jumin on the other hand was tactless and undeterred on having people hate him for that.

“It worries me the problems Juwon has with me might be too big for me to fix.”

“He doesn’t know the reason why he’s always been shunned, but when he finds out it’s going to be devastating. Be patient with him.  It’ll take time to mend his wound.” Zen was mostly speaking from experience, but if his demons can help Jumin and his brother, then he’d give him as much advice as it was possible. Gaeul’s conversation with Jumin was godsend. Them putting effort in becoming a closer family will build a good foundation for their relationship; they’d all be moving in the same direction together.

Jumin nodded but remained silent, closely listening to everything he had to say. Having his attention like this wasn’t new but still very much bizarre. In the past the young director never hesitated to brush Zen’s thoughts aside, and now he paid attention to every little word he utters.

Not giving a crap of where they were and whether Junghee would show up at the wrong time, Zen pushed back Jumin’s hair and began to thread his fingers into the soft but thick dark locks. “Teach your brother about your life, which is your job. You should offer him your boring business advice, I have a feeling he’d love that.” Being the father figure his brother never had could encourage him to turn his life around.

The other man’s stare was weighing on him, so the most logical thing for Zen to do was to take his hand away from his hair and end the conversation there. There’s no doubt in his mind Jumin will take everything he said into consideration and act on it as he sees fit.

With a swift movement, Jumin caught his hand midair and pulled him close until their faces were centimeters away. This was a bit different than the kiss they shared moments ago. The man’s eyes were darkened and Zen could _feel_ the heat between them. “You’re--”

The door to the room opened interrupting Jumin, and Gaeul stepped out brightening immediately the second she laid eyes on him. “Son,” she greeted him with a soft smile. Jumin looked just like his mother when they smiled like that and Zen found that so adorable. Zen himself doesn’t really look like either of his parents. “Your brother… I’m relieved he’s awake.”

“Why don’t you head back and get some rest?” Jumin suggested but his mom waved the thought away.

“I’m staying. He needs me right now. He needed me many times before and I failed him, I’ll be here this time.”

There was no way they could argue with her. Zen was going to tell her there was no need for her and Junghee to be exhausted for the wedding when Juwon was clearly out of critical condition. He supposes that mothers can either stay with you no matter what or pretend you were never born.

“I’ll go see him,” Jumin decided, possibly admitting the same thing to himself after what they talked about. “Wait for me out here,” he muttered to Zen before disappearing behind the door his mom came from.

Zen had lots of things to tell Gaeul, such as for her to worry less about what’s going on now and think more about what they could possibly do to never have this repeat. But he didn’t want to come off as patronizing. The thing is, he’s been in Juwon’s position and it upsets him to see the family so… _lost_ for the lack of a better word. It’s almost like none of them knew how to deal with emotional scars.

Aside from a comforting hug, like the one he gave Junghee, Zen didn’t do much for the woman. From the way she gripped him in place and closed her eyes, he thought that maybe this was all she needed.

To their surprise Jumin walked out of the room minutes later, looking unbothered. “He didn’t want to see me, but he asked for you.” Zen knew why Jumin wasn’t phased by the request or the words the youngest Han sibling most likely exchanged with him, and that’s both now understood the reasons behind the kid’s feelings.

Saying he _understood_ Juwon’s feelings didn’t mean he was going to be nice about what happened. He could’ve died, he could’ve ended up dead in a country that wasn’t his without experiencing all these new feelings with Jumin. Not to mention all the things in life he hasn’t experienced yet. That’s why when he was finally face to face with the kid, Zen couldn’t bring himself to soften his heart and smile or give him words of encouragement.

Juwon looked beat up, way worse than Zen’s bruised head. His dark eyes widened at the sight of him and he had difficulties swallowing to be able to speak.

“Your brother said you wanted to see me,” he decided to make things easier on both and address the fact. He has a feeling he knows what Juwon wants to talk to him about, but he’d let the other speak before he draws his own conclusions. “As you can see, I fared better than you did from the accident.”

“I’m sorry,” the younger Han sibling’s raspy voice did make Zen feel a bit bad.

He didn’t want to, dammit, he was determined to be harsh and to show him that his stupid actions had consequences, but it was hard not to see himself in him. Battered from doing stupid self harming things, beaten down by the unfortunate circumstances of their upbringing. But it was still _not_ an excuse.

“You’re lucky no one died. Me, you, or anyone unfortunate enough to be there.”

“I know,” Juwon tried to argue back, there was remorse in his tone but it wasn’t enough. He needed to get his shit together. A twenty-one year old is smart enough to know that the things you do have consequences, and Juwon couldn’t scrape by with a slap on his wrist just because his dad is a billionaire and his mom feels guilty over her absence from his developing years. “I feel awful. I could’ve killed you and…”

“Listen to me,” Zen was going to get through him now while he was vulnerable, the same way V got to him when he saved him from the motorcycle accident he had years ago. “There’s no point in feelings guilty about it now. What’s done is done. But I don’t think you understand what I mean when I say you’re _very_ lucky I didn’t die. You can’t bring back someone from the death, you can’t take it back. So from this day forward, you better think twice about the things you do.”

Compared to when they talked before the incident, Juwon’s silence was telling. It meant he was listening, and he would be damned if the kid thought he was going to walk away in frustration. He was not only an amazing actor which helped him hide his frustration, he was very persistent too. The point was going to get across one way or another, and fortunately Juwon is making this easier on both of them.

“You’re not the only one suffering, okay?” This was the part where he might not exactly know what he was talking about, but he was going to take a gamble. “Your parents aren’t exactly the best parents out there. But you’re not the only child they have. Junghee, Jumin, they’ve both suffered too, and they’re suffering now because of what you did. And listen, I know what you’re feeling, what you’ve felt, _I know_ . I’ve done things that are horrible, I could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble, but I’m thankful I didn’t because I met your brother and I met our friends who I love very much. They’re _my_ family. You have so many opportunities laid out for you. I wish I had grown up with them when my own family rejected me and made me feel like I was worthless.”

This was getting too deep, his heart was beating too fast and his eyes were stinging. It’s funny how it’s been a decade and he still feels the pang of worthlessness hit him when he thinks about his family, when he talks about it to someone else. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful, be thankful, and do whatever you have to do to change and to avoid going through this ever again. You can’t apologize to the death or when you’re dead. Your chances _will_ run out and when they do there won’t be any going back.”

The younger man lowers his eyes and blinks away a couple of tears before he nods and turns away from him.

“I forgive you and I won’t press any charges or whatever you think I’m going to do. I’m alive and that’s all that matters to me.”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, so broken. It reminds him of Yoosung. All he wants to do is approach the kid and hug him, and tell him everything will be alright. But people like Juwon can’t be coddled. Zen had to learn from his mistakes the hard way and there was no one to coddle him.

Zen wasn’t aware that facing the kid was going to drain him of all his energy. The adrenaline went down and his body began to slow down as he walked out of the room to see Jumin, Junghee and their mom talking among each other.

“The doctor’s on his way to see how you’re doing today,” Jumin said but Zen didn’t care anymore. He wanted to go home and rest.

After being taken to a room and being poked about by a woman who he assumed was a nurse, and another woman who he assumed was a doctor, Zen watched them and Jumin talk to each other while he sat on a hitched up bed. The only times he paid attention was when Jumin would rely the information to him. They basically told him that his recovery was super fast, and that all he needed to do was take the pain medicine if necessary, which he already knew but Jumin being a stubborn man was something he knowingly signed up for.

Not long after that Jumin convinced his sister and Charles of coming home with them, and the four left together with Gaeul’s promise to let them know if anything happens.

When they arrived home the four split in pairs and retired to their bedrooms even though it was still early evening.

Zen was exhausted, but not as bad as poor Junghee looked. The poor thing better sleep until her wedding day to recuperate from being up all night waiting to hear from her brother. Charles didn’t have to be there but he waited with her and Zen thought that was very sweet. He’s known them for a week and some, but he can’t wait to see them marry off into the sunset. He clearly cares about her a lot. She was a very lucky girl, to be able to find someone like him (and for Charles to find someone like her), he can only dream.

Then again, Jumin could possibly be what would make others consider _him_ lucky. His eyes drifted over to the older man who was serving them a glass of water so he could take the meds the doctor kept pushing on him. They’ve just started, but so far so good.

“What would you like to do?” The older man asked him as he was handed a cool glass and a pair of pills. “You’ve slept most of the day but I don’t doubt you’ll be tired soon. You looked tired at the hospital.”

“I heal very fast, but this bruise on the side of my head keeps giving me headaches and that makes me want to sleep. The talk with your brother worked me up too,” he explained before swallowing the pills and drinking all the water in one go. “I think I’d like to lay in bed for the rest of the day and… maybe cuddle.”

Jumin’s face reddened as he slowly nodded. “Understood.”

Zen wasn’t sure why the man was now acting shy when he cuddled him all morning, but he had to quickly remind himself that this was still a whole new world to the young director. Oh, he can’t wait for them to move forward, see his reactions to everything. Zen wasn’t a shy person, not when it came to this sort of thing. They will eventually be intimate if the relationship continues on, they will eventually get used to each other.

And now that he’s thinking about it, they haven’t actually talked about _what_ the relationship is. They’ve decided to move forward with their mutual attraction. And Zen yelled at Jumin about relationships not being a business, etc, but that doesn’t count.

After quickly chucking his shirt off and taking his pants off to replace them with a pair of sweatpants, Zen wasted no time before bringing up his thoughts to the other man. “Jumin,” Zen called as he watched Jumin unbutton his dress shirt to switch it to the sleeping clothes he’s been wearing to bed.

“Yes?”

“Are you my boyfriend?”

It was such a silly question, it made him sound like some sort of teenager in love, but let’s be honest, labels helped a lot. Trust fund kid made it clear to him that he wanted to take this seriously, so now Zen wanted details (however small they were).

The hands holding the shirt together paused and Jumin looked over at him with a questioning look. “From my understanding that’s the correct term to use, yes. Is that not what you want?”

With a smile, Zen breathed in deep and closed his eyes in relief. It was so nice to hear the sometimes obtuse man say it. The fact that Jumin acknowledges that they’re boyfriends, _in a relationship_ , _in love_ , makes his heart want to burst in happiness but also calms his reeling mind.

“Of course that’s what I want. I wanted to know if we were on the same page, that’s all.”

A good thing too, because the wedding is in two days and after that they’ll be flying back to Korea where they’ll have to somehow figure out how to mesh their lives together. Zen was pliable, he had no problem accommodating himself to Jumin’s schedule if it meant they’d spend time together. Would Jumin do the same?

He followed Jumin with his eyes when he walked in and out of the bathroom, clothed in his soft pajama top and pants, towards the bed.

“Did you ever think we’d end up as boyfriends?”

“Not really. I’ve never been interested in dating,” the man said to which Zen replied in his mind, _obviously_. “But I always had an interest in you, so in a way you could say something was bound to happen. Be it personal or professional.”

Zen grimaced at that. How can Jumin put him together with business, as if there were on equal grounds. Well, the man was in love with his job. If he looked at it from that angle then he could try and comprehend the meaning behind his words.

“I never thought you’d be interested in men. I actually defended you once against that rumor about you being gay,” he laughed thinking back on that conversation with his princess.

The man pushed the covers over and pointed at Zen to get under them before he got on the bed himself and tucked them both in. It was still early and he wasn’t tired enough to sleep yet, but Zen found the whole thing cute so he went along with it.

“But I’m not interested in men. Being gay means being sexually attracted to your own sex, I’m only attracted to you.”

Zen tried very hard not to cover his face because, well, hearing Jumin imply he’s sexually attracted to him was too much for him to handle. “I’m still a _guy_ , but I understand what you’re trying to say. It makes sense.” Not that it matters really, Jumin can think of himself as whatever he feels comfortable with, it won’t change who he is to Zen.

The two rested against the pillows comfortably, listening to their breathing as the minutes ticked by. This felt like something from another dimension. Both had absolutely no problem laying in bed together, being silent and enjoying each others presence, but take it back a couple of months ago and the two couldn’t even handle sharing their different points of view in a virtual chat room.

“Hyun,” Jumin spoke up while the two were busy pushing their feet against the other in a childish play fight.

“Hmm?” Zen hummed in reply before he looked up and asked, “are you going to call me Hyun all the time now?”

Jumin blinked. “I’d like to call you Hyun, but I’d also like to keep calling you Zen occasionally. Would that be okay with you?”

As if the idiot had to ask. The only person who called him by his actual name was V. And while Zen loved his chosen name, Zen, it was a very special detail for Jumin to refer to him as his birth name. “You can call me whatever you want, babe.” Long ago he wanted to bury that name and forget about who that child was, but not anymore. Now he wanted child Hyun to know what love feels like and that life will be less sad and lonely thanks to Jumin.

“Are you going to call me babe?”

With a grin, Zen removed his foot from the battle and said, “but you _are_ a babe,” making Jumin physically error 404, as Saeyoung would kindly offer for a term.

Watching the young director act so uncool was so much fun. Zen couldn’t wait to mess with Jumin as often as possible. The tables have turned. Trust fund kid used to mess with him all the time, now it was Zen’s turn. Not that their relationship would be all messing around like that. Of course not. Zen was very loving and caring, but he also wanted revenge.

“I wanted to thank you for telling me what happened before the accident,” Jumin cleared his throat, trying to compose himself but it was too late. Zen knew he could be uncool (which he knew, but this was a whole other level of uncool that’s been discovered).

His mood changed with a snap of fingers. Bringing one of Jumin’s hands up to his lips, Zen kissed it and said, “I was going to tell you, I just needed to find the best time to do it. I don’t approve of keeping secrets in a relationship.” Jumin pulled his hand away as soon as he said that, but he didn’t think anything of it as the man was fussy in a very general way. “I didn’t want you to think differently of your brother. He has a problem and hopefully with you and your sister’s help he’ll be able to overcome it.”

“I hope I can help. I’m not versed on family dynamics, as you’ve already seen. None of us are.”

“Jumin.” Zen leaned over and slowly pressed his lips against Jumin’s. Little by little he was getting used to kissing him. “You’ll do great. You’re learning, and honestly, you’re not terrible at it.”

“You have an older brother and I know you know what you’re talking about, I trust your judgement. Thank you.”

The way the young director worries about his ability to mend the broken family, it was very heartwarming. On the outside he looks so cold and unemotional, but on the inside all he wants is to do a good job; to be a good businessman, to be a good friend, to be a good brother, to be a good son. And now to be a good boyfriend.

This is what Zen, without a doubt, fell in love with. This Jumin, the one he keeps away from others for one reason or another. Both sides of him _are_ Jumin and it’d be a lie if he said he didn’t like the callous, jerk Jumin, but. Kind, thoughtful, gentle trust fund jerk was the best in his opinion. And it was all his.

His body thrummed warmly. Being pressed against Jumin, feeling his heat and the way his muscles moved whenever he shifted was, oh so good. Zen missed this, but the fact that this was Jumin made it better, it made it so unique and special.

Rolling his body, Zen didn’t waste any time deepening the kiss into a more heated one. His hands sliding along the sides of Jumin’s body, one going up to cradle the back of his neck, and the other to pull him closer by the hips. He can’t help himself, this was not what he expected. Jumin’s lips were so nice, so soft. He smelled really good too, and his taste was even better.

There were no complaints from Jumin, in fact the man went along with it very naturally, and that encouraged him to explore more, to discover what made Jumin feel good. Zen supposes it was the same with Jumin, better for him as this was one of his very first makeout sessions. The other two they had were innocent in a way, because it was all so new.

“Hey,” he breathed out before giving Jumin a small peck, “tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

The older man reached over and gently gripped the back of his head before saying, “I don’t want to stop,” and pressing their mouths together again, kissing Zen as if his life depended on it. “I take back what I said earlier,” Jumin whispers in his ear when he pulled back once again, the hot breath making him shiver, “We don’t need time to adjust to changes.”

Woah. “Jumin, wait,” it was hard to figure out _how_ he could gather the willpower to pull back yet again from those luscious lips, but he needed to. “I mean, I’m not complaining, don’t get me wrong. But are you sure?” As much as Zen was dying to hear Jumin moan and gasp and writhe under his touch, he wanted him to be completely sure.

He nodded and Zen still hesitated. “What happened to nothing before marriage?” He asked, wanting to be doubly sure of this. It was a fair assumption to make, that Jumin wouldn’t go past the waist because of his strong opinions about all of that stuff he cares about.

Jumin’s fingers threaded through his silver hair, gently brushing his fringe back so he could press a kiss to his forehead. “We can’t get married in Korea,” he muttered rather monotonously. True. He was so right, and Zen wondered if the lack of tone meant he was sad about that, maybe even disappointed.

“Then we can totally continue,” he added immediately after, hoping for the mood to go back to how it was, hot, curious, and a bit desperate.

With a laugh, Jumin closed his eyes half way and muttered, “am I that irresistible to you?” against Zen’s lips. _Please_ , he thought. The multiple times he’s tried to pass out from kissing him should’ve been a clue by now.

“Can’t help it.” Zen quickly pulls back, confusing the other man in the process, then gets on his knees and moves Jumin’s legs to wrap them around his waist. “I can’t wait to make you melt under my touch.” He wanted to show Jumin how good he can love him.

He was now laying on the other halfway, but again he was met with no complaints.

“Do you enjoy laying like… this?”

The way Jumin just lets him do whatever he wants then questions him about it afterwards makes him smile. “Hell yeah. Yesterday I thought about having your legs around me, I wanted to know what that felt like.”

“And?”

“I wish you could wrap your legs around my body forever,” he said, loving the way Jumin blushed at his comment about how much he enjoys his body. “Hey, you have nice legs,” Zen shares but that only makes Jumin flush more.

Jumin pulled him up to his lips again, his confidence growing the more practice they get. “I’m already melting under your touch.”

If Zen could put into words how being like this with Jumin felt, he’d never complete his sentence. There are simply no words to describe the waves of emotion cruising through his body. Being like this with another man was a foreign experience but it didn’t feel wrong or strange. It was titillating, yes. He wanted to do _so many_ dirty things to this stupid man.

“ _Hyun_ ,” Jumin gasped his name in his ear at the unexpected press of their hips when Zen grinded down on him against the bed using his full weight. It all became too real when he very clearly _felt_ the older man’s arousal, the cloudiness he felt from the intensity of his desire dissipating in a matter of seconds.

“Sorry,” he pushed himself up and rolled off Jumin. His heart was beating so hard he could barely hear the young director complain.

Blinking at him, Jumin frowned softly and asked, “what are you doing? Is something wrong?” Nothing was wrong. God. If only Jumin knew that absolutely nothing was wrong.

Zen came face to face with the fact that yes, he’s been kissing Jumin for a day now. Yes, they’ve made out a couple of times already, and yes, they were just making out. And also, yes, that was Jumin Han’s dick, and he’s okay with that.

“Up until now I’ve only been with women, I just…” Now that he’s gone over all those details in his head, he feels kind of dumb. So what if he’s only been with women. Jumin’s technically only been with him, halfway.

The older man’s frown deepened, and just like that the mood was swayed in a different direction. Their emotions were running rampant, their steamy moment had just been abruptly interrupted, Jumin was bound to be upset.

“I don’t want you to mention your previous relationships,” he mumbled, “not when you’re with me.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Yes.”

Understood. Before Zen could agree, Jumin turned away and laid down facing the other side of the bedroom. It left him baffled, he didn’t think a general comment about his previous relationships would upset Jumin so much. He was such an unbothered person.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately moved closer and hugged Jumin’s body from behind. Zen was happy to hold the older man in his arms and spoon him into a warm hug. Truthfully, it hadn’t been his intention to upset him. “I’m sorry Jumin, I didn’t know that comment would upset you this much.”

Jumin’s body felt like a furnace, just like his own. Kissing and exploring was all he wanted to do. This was obviously affecting them both of them quite openly. If they weren’t continuing the previous activities, he would at least cuddle the man like he announced he wanted.

“I’m not upset.” And even though he turned away from Zen and stopped all activities, Zen believed him. Jumin wasn’t one to throw tantrums or anything like that. “You hesitated for the second time and I didn’t want to push you.”

“Second time?”

“Yes. First when you kept asking me if I was sure, and the second time was just now.”

The two laid there for a while after that. He could smell Jumin’s cologne in his skin, the crips fresh aroma of his hair, the strangely musky scent of his skin (which he can now confirm is also the taste of his skin). Did he hesitate? Maybe. But he didn’t want to stop, no. Zen not being able to take it anymore, he tried to pull his arm away to give Jumin space only to have it be stopped by one of the man’s hand.

“Don’t move,” Jumin muttered the demand, pulling on his arm so Zen could hug him tighter.

 _God, he doesn’t get to be like this_ , Zen thought to himself with a whiny groan. He was handsome, smart, stupidly charming, and he was also the cutest fucking thing. All demanding and moody and… He was so in love, Jumin somehow made his annoying traits and habits seem not so annoying. Is it maybe because he now sees Jumin through rose colored glasses?

Burying his face on the nape of his neck, Zen kissed the hot skin there and whispered, “I won’t,” against it. Once his lips were back on Jumin, it was hard to stop.

Zen kissed and caressed the sensitive skin with his lips, he kept brushing Jumin’s neck on his way up to his ear. The dark hair were tickling his eyes and his nose, but he didn’t care.

The arm Jumin had held onto to keep him in place shifted slowly to see if he’d be allowed to move it, which thankfully he was. Zen’s breathing was growing wilder the more he thought about what he could to in this position, and the strong pulsing he felt from the body in his arms only fueled his want. Pulling Jumin closer intensified the burning points where their bodies were touching. He had the curve of the other’s ass against his hips, and the flat of his back against his chest.

With curiosity more than anything, Zen slowly traced the outline of Jumin’s body down to where his pants began, to see if Jumin would ask him to stop. He didn’t, of course he didn’t. He was the one to tell him he didn’t want to stop. Before he ventured further down, Zen switched gears and slipped his other hand up the nightshirt the other was still wearing, caressing the soft skin on his stomach and letting his fingers feel the warmth underneath.

If he weren’t too occupied with the fact that there were no supple breasts to massage, or soft squishy skin to touch, he’d realize that Jumin is letting him touch him all over without him doing the same to Zen. But he was too focused on the comforting skin that he _wasn’t_ familiar with but he _felt_ familiar with, Jumin. Slender, flat chested, very fucking warm. He wanted that, he wanted Jumin.

Kissing his ear, Zen smiled against it as he felt the other begin to breathe raggedly. “Jumin,” he whispered sexily, purposely, “can I touch you?”. Without a doubt the other is taking it all in, keeping his hands away as he experiences someone touching him so intimately.

Jumin’s breath hitched at the question, but he didn’t hesitate to nod in reply and say, “yes,” in case he didn’t understand the body language.

It was dizzying. If it weren’t for the fact that he couldn’t wait to make Jumin feel so good, Zen would’ve passed out.

The hand that had been feeling Jumin’s chest made its way down again. His mind was beginning to feel familiar with the body in his arms as the pads of his fingers traveled across the expanse of skin. It was so much like his own yet so different. Zen brushed past the light trail of hair under Jumin’s navel, licking his lips unconsciously when he made it past the waistband in a single smooth motion and felt what he was the most curious about, Jumin’s twitching, growing length.

Fingers wrapped around the heated flesh, making the man moan softly. The idea of being the first one to touch Jumin like this, make him moan like this, it was electrifying. _Fuck_. That sound turned him on so much he thought he was going to be done right then and there. His own arousal was throbbing, pressed snuggly against Jumin’s rear and every small movement the older man made created mind blowing friction as he tested the feel of Jumin’s under his fingers. Zen experimentally tugged it a few times, getting comfortable with the position, having only the bit of space the pants and underwear allowed.

Even though the young director wasn’t participating much in what was going on, he caught on quick to what Zen’s other hand was doing moving up his hip, and was deft in unbuttoning the soft top he wore to bed, pulling it down his shoulder so Zen could taste more of him. His lips immediately latched to the hot, flushed skin that stood up as soon as it was exposed against the cool air of the bedroom.

The small, silent sounds coming from Jumin only made him want to rut harder against the man. Zen wanted to grab his hips and press himself so deep--“Jumin,” Zen moaned softly against his skin. His own hips were moving along with Jumin’s body as he coaxed him into blissful heaven with his hand.

“Hmn,” Jumin swallowed the moan and Zen frowned despite his mind being so far away. Oh no, no. Half this experience were the sounds Jumin was making while getting pleasured.

With a bit of hesitation, Zen let go of the hard erection so he could hazardly pull the obstructing sleeping pants and underwear down Jumin’s hips. “Don’t hold back Jumin, I want to hear you.” Missing the hot, velvety feel of his skin, he took Jumin into his hand again, this time having the freedom to move with better, more fluid strokes.

“Ah--” Jumin choked again, this time because Zen was pressing harder against him.

“God, you’re so hot,” Zen said and he didn’t know whether he meant it figuratively or literally. Both, he meant both. “I want you,” he moaned as Jumin turned his head seeking his lips. “I want you Jumin,” he gasped in the awaiting mouth. Something in him had been liberated. There were so many worries constantly knocking on the back of his mind, but when he’s like this with Jumin, when they’re both enjoying the moment and letting themselves feel and love, Zen didn’t care. He didn’t care about Korea or the people or anything. All he cared about was how much Jumin makes him _feel_ and how he can’t wait to always have him be an essential part of his life.

The movements of his body were erratic at that point. Zen was very close, and the fact that Jumin’s throat didn’t hold back after his request didn’t help slow things down. The panting and muttered moans coming from Jumin had him on edge as he swallowed each and every one of them. Neither lasted very long after that. Waves of pleasure shook the body in his arms and the intensity of Jumin’s orgasm made the boiling feeling on the pit of his stomach explode. He suspected it was due to it being so new and terrifying at the same time.

He didn’t move, instead he began to rub Jumin’s legs and stomach as the man let his body slow down and his breathing calm.

It was but a few minutes later when the two could finally speak. “That was…”

“Great?” He offered with a sloppy kiss on the man’s damp temple on his way off the bed and to the bathroom.

“Fascinating.”

Not the term he would’ve preferred for his bedroom skills, but this was Jumin so Zen couldn’t really expect anything exciting. As long as the man was happy with the way it felt, he was happy.

Zen grabbed a towel and opened the hot water before casually glancing up at the mirror only to see his very flushed, very bright face. Meeting his own eyes, Zen grinned at himself and thought, _sex with Jumin is amazing_. It was mind blowing. The sounds, the tastes, the feels. He wishes he could always hear him and taste him and feel him. How can he ever go back to being mostly alone?

Tiredness hit him when he returned to the bedroom with a warm, damp towel to clean the older man with, but he stopped on his tracks when he took in the image before him. Jumin was completely naked on the bed (his clothes thrown off the bed, Zen quickly realized with a glance at the floor), his eyes were half closed and trained on him, and his lips were curved in a tiny smile.

“Satisfied?” He asked him with a breathy laugh as he approached the nice, _nice_ body and lovingly wiped it clean. Most of Jumin’s mess ended up on his hand and on the man’s hip and leg, so it wasn’t difficult. But the process took so long because he couldn’t resist sitting on the edge and leaning down to kiss him some more. Jumin was so beautiful.

Eventually he began to feel very uncomfortable with his own dirty clothes and he left the other’s side to go get cleaned and put on a pair of clean underwear.

He might have given Jumin a great handjob, but Zen demanded cuddles. So when he threw Jumin a pair of underwear as well, and slipped under the covers, his arms immediately pulled the older man close and Zen shifted until he could rest his head against the bare chest. Jumin’s heart was still beating very fast, he could hear and feel it, and it made him very happy. Zen felt so blissfully happy knowing he could make Jumin feel this worked up.

“ _I_ _am_ satisfied. Next time I’ll actually do something,” the young director said against his hair as fingers began to slowly brush his silver strands.

“Take as long as you need, do whatever you feel like doing,” Zen breathed out tiredly, “no rush, no pressure.” He was babbling nonsensical stuff by now, the meds were definitely kicking in and his body hadn’t stop demanding rest. “I’m happy I could make you feel good.” A statement in which there wasn’t a trace of a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that both Jumin and Zen are electronically inept lol just one more thing to bond over (☆´3｀)
> 
> 1\. You know, i like how cheritz makes jumin super incredibly smart but at the same time the guy believes in supernatural creatures and also doesn’t know how to use a fucking phone. Like what. And zen is literally the same except he’s a bit brighter because he doesn’t believe in supernatural stuff which is SUPER IRONIC BECAUSE HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE AND HAS SUPER HEALING. just another reason they’re meant to be. Jumin finds supernatural stuff fascinating and what do you know, zen is basically a supernatural being lmao
> 
> 2\. Yoosung is very aware of everything hahaha at first he comes off as a naive and all that sht but the boy is smart and very observant--also he loves zen, zen is his precious second mom
> 
> 3\. Snuggles because it’s about time they get some
> 
> 4\. Hyun dont play no game, he’s serious about this relationship, jumin doesn’t know how committed zen can be once he’s past his insecurities and fears of rejection and not being good enough
> 
> 5\. “Slow burn is over” BITCH YOU THOUGHT. I wish I could just have them bone it out but I like to stay as “realistic” as possible (based on the situation, their personalities, the canon, blah blah blah) note the use of quotation marks plss
> 
> 6\. Okay, I know everyone wants to picture Jumin as some sort of super sexual guy but like…. he’s literally 28 and has 0 sexual experiences. I feel like, while he might discover he reeaaaally likes the smex with Zen, he’s probably the type of person to not be hypersexual the way sometimes the fandom makes him look hahaha that’s how i feel anyways
> 
> 7\. *clutches fist against lips* Zen telling Jumin that he’s the easiest thing he’s ever gotten used to… my heart... 
> 
> 8\. In the story, I label Zen as inconsistent through Jumin’s point of view, but actually Yoosung has mentioned in the game that Zen is actually pretty consistent lol
> 
> 9\. This is what Jumin was going to tell Zen at the hospital before his mom interrupted. “You’re incredible.” I think as Jumin allows himself to be free with his feelings with Zen, he begins to see more of Zen and his experiences and how wise he is.
> 
> 10\. Zen finally exercising his big brother mad skillz - no but seriously, he makes the softest, harshest big brother ever. I can't wait for him to be a dad to a cute lil princess 8D
> 
> 11\. AND finally. Sexy times. A round of applause, because they deserve it.
> 
> 12\. Zen will address the RFA later lol
> 
>  
> 
> OMG this time I'm literally bowing at you guys because A MONTH. IT TOOK ME A MONTH TO UPDATE HOLY FUCK. Hopefully never again ;;; 
> 
> Thank you for all your kind words, and wishing me to get better! I appreciate your sweet words, I'm taking my meds and hopefully soon I'll get the procedure I need to get in order to be healthy again! You are all beautiful and amazing, and I'm very happy I can bring joy to some of you by sharing this story. Thank you for your time to the reviewers, the kudoers, and the readers!!!!!


	12. When Zen and Jumin ignore the calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin finally stands up for himself against his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all. I was in so many different pain meds while writing this… so… yeah. Reminder that it’s unbetaed lololol (in all honesty it pisses me off a bit because my brain is very mushy thanks to all this bs and I just want to do a good job ugh)
> 
> -
> 
> The song I’m using for this chapter is “Kyuhyun - If You” in case anyone wants to listen to it so you know what Zen is playing. I loooove this song, it’s so beautiful.
> 
> This chapter is full of cavity inducing fluff, lots of cheesy moments.
> 
> -
> 
> Warning: sexual content. (｀ω´)!! (clumsy)

DAY 9

* * *

 

Eight days. That’s how long his father has dragged this ridiculous situation and Jumin was tired of it. At first it was fun and exciting to rebel and for once be the one to hold the reins, but it’s gotten to be too much. He doesn’t like how silent his father is being, how phlegmatic he is about the fact that he _betrayed_ his own son for a woman. What’s more pressing is that a part of him wants to forgive him without a question, just like Zen taunted him the night they went out for a drink. Those shared drinks were so significant now, they represented the turn his life took and now look at where he was. How he’s acted, what he’s done.

Closing his eyes, Jumin allowed himself to feel guilty over everything that’s happened. Things with his father haven’t been resolved, and Zen was in an accident with his brother when he shouldn’t have been. Jumin was at fault here. The accident, his father’s lack of thought about the engagement, things shouldn’t have gotten to this point for him to finally gather the courage to confront him.

He supposes it was about time he stood for himself. Jumin was by no means a pushover, he wasn’t weak either. Quite the opposite, actually. One of the things Jaehee disliked the most about him while being his assistant was the indifference that accompanied him doing whatever he wanted whenever he wanted to, regardless of what others thought. But for Jumin family is everything. A somewhat controversial fact in retrospect because he would never, _ever_ allow anyone to treat him the way he’s been treated by those he deems the most important in his life.

It all ends today. Not only did his mother give him the push he needed to get things between him and his father resolved, but he also had Zen by his side. Hyun, who makes him feel like he isn’t confronting all of this on his own even though all the other can do is be supportive.

Who would’ve thought the brat’s stubbornness was going to be of use to Jumin at some point in his life.

Having someone’s support was very different when you actually needed the support for something. Jumin has always had a very privileged life. There has never been a point in his life where he felt incapable of something, and he _doesn’t_ feel incapable of talking to his father about their issues, but he never thought he _needed_ to. Now that he understands that he can’t allow his father to do what he likes with his life, Zen’s supportive and pushy nature has come to be something he appreciates. His support means a lot, and he’s glad he’s not alone now.

Jumin remembers many conversations between him and V, back when they would still get together and drink, and just _be_ without any looming problem (or so it seemed anyway). He would ardently deny needing someone by his side, he would list the many reasons being alone was better for anyone that wanted a peaceful, mellow life. It’s different now, it’s so different and he wishes he could talk about it with his best friend. He wasn’t wrong though, being alone is still easier and more manageable than having to consider other people. But the easiness that comes with knowing he has Zen on his side was superlative.

“I’m not a big talker in the mornings,” Jumin says, breaking the serene silence that enveloped them, not a completely honest statement. Jumin likes to talk all the time actually, but not when he’s mulling things over in his head, particularly things that stress him out.

They had been awake for a while, both being early birds and very busy people. Since there was no urgency to get out of bed the two simply remained there. _Enjoying the moment while he can_.

Jumin was still making his way through the beginning of this relationship, but so far he really likes the lack of work, which is a very new feeling for him. He’s never been happy to not work, not until he was able to do this with the younger man. He knows Zen is sincere and fervent about his feelings for Jumin, so that keeps him from feeling guilty about liking the freedom. _And really,_ Jumin thought as he brushed Zen’s long hair, _Father isn’t helping much with that_.

He could never feel guilty about what he enjoys when the gratification was this good.

“I’m not complaining,” Zen replies with a serious look on his face. “Are you worried about your dad?”

“Yes.” Gathering Zen, Jumin asked, “how do you know I’m worried?” It’s not like he physically exudes his feelings. While he hates it when people compare him to a robot, the rumors aren’t unprecedented. Jumin is fully aware of the reasons others perceive him a certain way. Doesn’t mean he likes them, but he’s aware.

“I don’t know, I get the feeling that you’re worried.” He does. It happened the day they went out for drinks, the younger man knew something was wrong. Zen just _knows_ and it sometimes stuns him because the only other person who could figure out his moods was V (Jaehee was practically his shadow so she doesn’t count. It would’ve been inadequate if she wasn’t able to figure him out and keep up). “I’ve learned that nothing stresses you out quite like your parents do. You’ve already began to resolve things with your mom, that leaves your dad as the only possible option.”

Something tells him that he’s constantly going to be surprised by Zen. Thinking back on it, the musical actor is much more observant than Jumin originally thought him to be. Once upon a time he had assumed the guy was so self-centered that he didn’t care about anything but his looks. Turns out he isn’t _wrong_ , but with the aid of black magic or something along the lines, Zen is able to care as much about others as he does himself (if not more).

“Hey, why don’t you just cut to the chase and force your dad to talk to you?”

Nodding, Jumin sat up and pushed the covers off him. “That’s exactly what I thought I should do.” It’s time to get this over with. He can’t let it simmer anymore.

“In that case, I’ll play around with the piano,” Zen yawned before slowly getting off the bed. “I’ve been thinking I don’t have a gift for your sister--”

“I’ve already gotten her a wedding gift,” Jumin interrupted but the younger man brushed him off. There’s a very expensive trip for her in the future if she so wishes to accept.

“I assumed much. I also got to know her and I really like her, therefore I was thinking of giving her something more personalized.”

And that happens to be what, a piano song? Melody? Zen was very thoughtful yes, but he was also _very_ confident if he thinks he can come up with one in such a short amount of time. There’s only a day left before the ceremony. Either way, Zen will do what he wants, besides he was going to be busy anyway so there was no point in wasting his time trying to convince him otherwise. The brat keeps surprising him at every turn, at this rate he would expect Zen to surpass his expectations.

The conversation ended there comfortably as Jumin was more preoccupied with his own issues and Zen knew this, a thought that made him smile the entirety of his morning routine.

 _After_ _all of this_ , he thought to himself while getting a cup of coffee from the kitchen. Once this was all over--the conversation with his father, the wedding, the trip--Jumin will be able to enjoy Zen better. Their mornings, their free time, being able to have conversations other than about his family.

 _Incentive_.

Jumin was hurt by what his father did to him, but most of all he was tired of being stuck in that position. He wants to move on (one way or another) and keep on living his life. Leaving things unresolved wasn’t going to do anyone a favor, except for his father, but this was the end of it. It’s time to call him out on it and force him to face reality.

Pulling his phone out from his pocket, Jumin stared down at it thinking how easy it was to think of resolving their issues when he had someone else’s encouragement. Another thing he can’t move past, albeit one he didn’t mind being stuck on.

“Father,” he spoke once the man answered the phone after two rings, “where are you?”

“My girlfriend and I are touring the city, she showed interest in seeing Hollywood among other things. Is there something you want?” If he were more expressive, Jumin would’ve smacked his own face. Juwon isn’t his son, sure, but that didn’t mean he didn’t grow up thinking he was his father. The more he thinks about everything the more things his father does wrong he uncovers.

Jumin’s starting to question his own ignorance.

“Let her go shopping, or send her to a spa. You and I are meeting for lunch,” he dictates as he would any other person, confident in the decision he made. It was strange to speak to his father this way, he wasn’t going to lie. “We need to talk.”

“Jumin--”

He can’t let him shut him up this time around. What he’s felt for months now will be spoken and his father can do what he wants with that. But Jumin isn’t staying quiet any longer. “There’s no room for discussion. I’m telling you that we’re going to have this talk. I’ll send you the location in a minute.” Jumin has never liked his father and his attitude towards women, but he’s always trusted his thoughts and opinions as family, as his _father_. But Zen was correct, he couldn’t allow him to do whatever he wanted just because they were family. It was a line he was going to have to draw.

If his father felt uncomfortable with him being impetuous, Jumin didn’t care. He needed to treat this like a business. It contradicted everything Zen candidly argued with him, but there was no other best suited option for him. Jumin was practical, he _liked_ being practical. It was comforting and there was no reason for him to shift off his axis just because him and his father will have an emotional conversation.

Jumin had his back to the hall, and he only noticed Zen when two hands were placed around his hips from behind. “Did you talk to him?”

Turning around, Jumin took a deep breath and nodded. “We’re having lunch. I wonder if things will turn out positive.” There was some hope born after his conversation with his mother, but Jumin had so much doubt about the outcome.

The younger man pursed his lips before smiling at him confidently. “Why wouldn’t they? Teach him a lesson, show him that he can’t push you around. It shouldn’t change how much he supposedly loves you… although that doesn’t make him less horrible in my mind. But that’s just me,” Zen shrugged as he let Jumin pull him closer. Maybe the comfort of a hug would carry throughout noon.

“You do realize he’s technically your father in law.” Ah. Jumin felt his heart begin to beat at a crazy fast rate. As someone who generally suppresses his emotions, the giddiness from the relationship being new will be missed.

Raising an eyebrow, Zen tilted his head and said, “but we’re not married and we can’t get married in Korea. So no, technically he isn’t.”

“But you’re still my boyfriend so yes, technically he is. And who says we won’t be able to marry in the future?”

Red eyes widened and Zen had to look away to hide his blush (not that he managed to do that properly). “Jumin, we’ve been together for a day. A _day._ ”

He would marry the annoying musical actor in a heartbeat. Jumin has more reasons to marry him than to not marry him. For example, he could call him husband and make him blush every time. They could live together and start a family of their own. He’d become Elizabeth’s other parent. Jumin could brag about him and his many talents at business parties. Zen would become Hyun Han--Wait. That sounds… ah.

“I don’t know how I feel about the way Hyun Han sounds.”

Pulling away from the hug, Zen blushed even more and stared at him in disbelief. “What are you even daydreaming about!?” Jumin smiled when the other covered his face with his hands and turned away in embarrassment, not being able to handle Jumin’s comments.

“The point is, he’s my father and that fact won’t change whether this ends in a good note or not.”

No longer flustered, Zen switched up his position and instead moved to lean on the counter next to where Jumin stood. “You keep saying that and yet, look at me,” he sighed, looking tired for a moment. “You don’t even like your dad that much. I don’t understand why you’re so fixated in this whole family thing.”

Perhaps the younger man was right and Jumin could forget about his father and the problems he’s caused. But Jumin didn’t _want_ to. He didn’t run away from the problems when he was growing up, he wasn’t going to run away from them now that he’s a grown adult. This was probably, by far, the biggest difference between the two. Zen had absolutely no problem leaving things unresolved, while Jumin _needed_ to get things cleared up and straightened out.

He didn’t feel like entertaining the argument, so Jumin changed the topic. It was almost time to go anyway, and he needed to figure out a place for him and his father to eat at. “You can do whatever you want, you don’t have to stay here in my sister’s home,” he offered as he went back to his phone to look up restaurants.

“I’ll be at the piano. If I get bored I’ll go somewhere else, but honestly I just want to chill here.” They looked at each other and Zen smiled before he added, “I feel like it’d be boring to go around the city without you.” Cute. Zen hesitated for a second but when he made up his mind, he stole a kiss from Jumin with a cheery, “good luck!” before leaving the kitchen. Why hesitate? They did stuff the previous night way more serious than a kiss.

Either way, the fact that he wished him luck was nice. Jumin doesn’t really believe in that stuff, but this time around he wants to believe in it for his own peace of mind.

Jumin ended up picking a restaurant on west Los Angeles because of the convenience more than anything, additionally his father didn’t complain when he texted him the address so he wasn’t going to think too much about it. The drive was long and despite not knowing where he stood his ground, he couldn’t help wondering what the future holds for his position in the company. There’s absolutely no way his father would try to get him out, first because of legal reasons, second because Jumin’s very good at what he does.

_Why does that even matter?_

Leaving the speculating for another time (and another person), Jumin went over the things he wanted to speak with his father about. The engagement for sure, he still doesn’t understand what went through the man’s head. The lack of acknowledgment of the engagement. Weeks went by before his father spoke to him again, and only to start their usual dinner plans to talk about the business. Juwon. He needs to understand what happened there, and although he has his mother’s version of the story, he’d like to hear his father’s too.

When he arrived, his father was already waiting for him at a table, his girlfriend nowhere to be seen. For once the stubborn man listened but it was a bit too late for those small victories.

“Son,” he waved him over and motioned for him to take a seat across from him. “Why don’t we have this conversation over breakfast once we’re back in Korea?”

Did his father just say that? Catching himself, Jumin stopped from smiling because of Zen’s previous comments.

“No, we need to talk now.”

It’s as if his father didn’t expect him to run out of patience. Jumin would feel insulted if he didn’t already share Zen’s feelings about his father not being able to get worse. What was he to him, someone to step over and do about on whims? Memories from the awful time he had during and after the engagement suddenly made his anger come alive.

“Very well,” the man sipped on his wine and glanced away, and for a moment Jumin was five years old, sitting across from his father as he’s being told his mother was moving to another country and she was leaving him behind. The same indifference, he remembers it like if it had happened yesterday.

And just like that Jumin had an epiphany.

“Do you even regret it?”

“Of course I regret it.” Of course. _Of course_.

His hands fisted on top of his pants. “Then why? Why do something like that to your own son?” _Why not_ _apologize and get this over with_.

“I made a mistake--”

“That was _not_ a mistake.” For months up until recently Jumin’s been calling the engagement a mistake. It wasn’t a mistake. His father _chose_ to ignore whether his actions would hurt him, he chose to ignore all the times Jumin tried to make him see how wrong it was. “A mistake is me forgetting to email my assistant, not me forcing my son to follow through with an engagement he didn’t _agree_ with because he wasn’t even told about it _until the fact_ .” Not that being told makes it any better, but come on, it doesn’t get worse than that. **It doesn’t**.

Never, _ever_ has Jumin raised his voice at his father, and he won’t. But, God, does he want to shout to the four winds, he was done and over with this. When has his father ever actually cared for him? When he kept him from being with his mother so he could be his heir? When he ‘thought’ Jumin wouldn’t want to be near his family? A headache was starting to spread from his forehead to the back, and that wasn’t going to help the situation.

“Please understand, I wasn’t seeing clear. I was blinded.”

“By what?” The excuses weren’t going to work on him, he’s smart enough to understand what was happening. Yes, he himself made excuses for the man, but this was different, Jumin wasn’t being held back by his loyalty to his family. “A curvy body, breasts, a pretty face?”

This would hurt less if the relationship between his father and Glam Choi had been meaningful. No one, certainly not Jumin, expected it to be nothing more than another gold digger.

His father didn’t appreciate his comment, probably finding it condescending because _it was_. “You wouldn’t understand, apparently that’s something you’re not even interested in.”

“My preferences have nothing to do with what you did. _You_ have a history of doing whatever you please when you’re trying to impress a new girlfriend, without taking into consideration the consequences of your actions.”

The wine glass was brought down and his father looked him straight in the eyes. “It all makes sense to me now,” the man smiled as if the water between them wasn’t murky, “I thought you were being a brat when you brought that boy along, but you being--you having a man in your life explains why you never understood me. I know it’s hard to grasp what I’m trying to tell you, but I was too caught up in the moment, son.”

Jumin was starting to find it hard to sit here and listen to his father come up with excuse after excuse. “All I wanted was an apology,” he finally gave up. There was no point in wasting his time trying to make the man understand what he did wrong. If he can’t see it, then showing it to him was fruitless. “All I ever hoped from you was to own up to your mistakes and apologize so we could leave it all behind, but you can’t do that for me.”

With alarmed eyes, his father was finally shut down as he sat across from him dead silence. Nothing to say then? He wondered if it was pride what gets to his father, or is it stubbornness? It didn’t matter anymore. It was as clear as day the fact that he wasn’t going to get an apology from his father. A sincere one that is.

“I _am_ sorry, son.” There is no ounce of truth in his statement because it took for Jumin to throw it in his face before he could utter those words. With a sigh, his father dropped his gaze and relented the tug of war between them. “Are you disappointed in me?”

“I’m disappointed,” he revealed as his throat tightened. The biggest understatement. Jumin was beyond disappointed. There was this hollowness to his soul whenever he pondered on the last year and what’s happened between them. V’s death didn’t help.

Feelings were the worst, they really were. They made Jumin feel out of control, erratic, uncomfortable. But, if there was a time for him to finally get these issues off his chest, it’d be now. “I’m angry, I’m hurt,” Jumin elaborated before slowly getting up. There was no way he could eat after what just happened. “And,” he added with a tint of sadness, “I’m going to need time before I can accept your apology.”

He can’t let him get away with this, not _this_. For someone as benighted as Zen can seem, he hits the nail on the head when it comes to advice and opinions about his father.

Before he could turn to walk away, his father called his name and asked, “will _you_ ever forgive me?” implying he’s asked for redemption from anyone else. Laughable, this entire meeting is nothing but laughable.

The answer was yes, despite it all, despite him being heartbroken for the most part, Jumin would never push his own father away. He does, however, want to teach him a lesson, show him that he can’t pull crap like that on Jumin ever again. There will be no easy way out of this available for his father this time around.

“We will have to see.” Just as he decided to leave, Jumin stopped himself this time to add, “and one more thing, Juwon is still _my brother_. I’ve decided to strengthen our bond, if things workout for him you’d be seeing more of him back in Korea.”

 

~

 

Zen’s life is never going to stop being a mess, he feels it in his soul. This morning when he woke up with his arms around Jumin, he knew, but at the same time he felt something inside of him change. A light in him had been ignited. It had been the most perplexing experience of his life. Nothing, not running away from home, being part of a gang, robbing people and places, being in a near-death accident, and being part of the RFA can compare to how strange he had felt in his own body this morning. It was almost unbelievable.

Good things don’t happen to him. Whether big or small, there’s always been a string of bad luck that follows him, a dark little demon that has never left him alone. Ever since he was a child, Zen has felt this dissociation of his mind and body because of it. Even being as good looking as he is, it never felt like himself. People would crowd around him, touch him when he didn’t want to be touched, follow around, and overall he’s never felt truly comfortable in his body with his life and the way it’s unfolded before him. Time and time again he’s gone up against whatever force wants him to be miserable and fought with tooth and nail for the ability to live his life without cowering on a corner with his spirits beaten down.

Except for this morning.

Nine days. It took _nine days_ for the pillars that make up his mind to fall into place and make a structure cohesive enough to support the weight of his thoughts and feelings.

And really, was it hard to believe? Saeyoung had the same exact thing happen to him. It wasn’t hard to believe per se, but Zen had difficulty wrapping his mind around the fact that lots of things don’t matter anymore, and some matter less than they did before. His life will never stop being a mess, but now he feels like he can take on anything that felt like challenging him.

His heart was full, so full of love for Jumin. Zen was bursting with love for Jumin. Even though he shouldn’t get his hopes up because they’re still in America and incredibly far from their reality, Zen couldn’t help thinking of all the possibilities, of all the sweet memories that await him. He wanted to be someone Jumin can count on _so bad_. He wanted Jumin to tell him all his problems, he wanted to hear all of his worries, his insecurities (if he even had any) just so he could hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay because he wasn’t going to do this alone anymore.

They would have each other, they would love and support each other no matter what and that’s how things will always be good in the end. His life will finally stop being grainy and dull with the rare, occasional sunshine.

Even though that morning had been less romantic and steamy than he would have liked it to be after getting to do naughty things to Jumin the previous night, Zen didn’t mind one bit being apart from Jumin. His spirits were so high, he already has half the melody ready. Unfortunately even high spirits weren’t strong enough to make him concentrate completely on the task at hand.

The only thing keeping him from being done even though it hasn’t been long since he started is the fact that he was half distracted with thoughts of Jumin and how things were going with his dad. The last thing Zen wants is for him to get hurt even more by the old dude. Now that he’s in peace with the fact that Jumin is precious to him, Zen can’t allow that to happen. It makes him vibrate in anger just to think Chairman Han could be acting like a complete ass to Jumin right now.

 _Jumin is strong_ , Zen reminded himself as his fingers played with three keys sitting next to each other before he stopped to write some more on the notebook. He understands that Jumin is unbothered for the most part, but the old man has a grip on him that’s too complex for Zen to understand, and that’s what has him worried. What if things don’t turn out alright, what if Jumin is shunned by his dad or told to get over it and move on? The young director deserves more than just an apology, in his humble opinion.

The scribbles covered the notebook’s entire open page as he continued to play around with the keys on the piano. Both Junghee and Charles had come out of their bedroom to watch him try to come up with a melody, and even though he’s been going at it for two hours now, they’re still being highly entertained. Not that he blames them, he was quite the animated person whenever he was too concentrated to think about who was listening or watching.

“Thanks for letting us listen to you compose the piece,” Junghee spoke up, bringing his deep concentration and strayed thoughts back to reality. “I know you said it was for me and Charles, but it’s incredible to see how the process works.”

“I’m not a professional writer, so I don’t know how accurate the process is,” not to mention everyone writes, be it music or a play, differently, “but I’m happy you’re enjoying watching me struggle.” They both laughed before Junghee turned to translate their conversation to the older man.

He watched them talk to each other for a bit, noting their linked hands and the little distance between them. Blinking away, Zen glanced over at his phone and wondered if Jumin was okay. It’s been hours and the other hasn’t made a peep--Well, he hasn’t checked the RFA app because Zen’s been avoiding everyone and their enquiries for as long as he can.

“Hyun, take a break. We’re going to practice some of the wedding details with our friends. It won’t take long. After that we were thinking of getting sushi, want to come along?” Junghee offered as both of them stood up from where they were on the couch behind the piano.

Zen knows he should take a break and eat something but right now he wants to finish the melody and hopefully hear from the older man. How long can a lunch date be anyway. “I’ll stay and finish this. You’re not allowed to hear it until it’s complete.”

“Understood!” Junghee’s giggles followed her and Charles’ as they left, leaving him all alone in the gigantic home. Gaeul was still at the hospital, Jumin and his dad are off somewhere…

Maybe it was time for him to get back to all his friends. As scary as it was, he was coming back to the chatrooms at some point. He took some time reading through the previous chats he missed, seeing Jumin participate in some of them and smiling every time he saw his name. _But_ , he could smile and gush about how Jumin’s freaking _name_ makes him feel. His friends were very worried despite the damage control the older man attempted to do.

 **ZEN:** Hey everyone

 **Jaehee Kang:** Zen, it’s surprising to see you here.

 **Jaehee Kang:** You’ve been avoiding everyone.

 **ZEN:** aaaah yeah, sorry about that.

 **Yoosung:** ZEN

 **Yoosung:** OMG ZEN YOURE OKAY RIGHT EVERYTHINGS FINE??

 **Yoosung:** WHY HAVENT YOU ANSWERED ANY OF MY CALL SOMG

 **Jaehee Kang:** Yoosung, calm down…

 **ZEN:** sorry buddy, i want to say it wasn’t my intention to ignore you all but it was…

 **Yoosung:** Zen…

 **ZEN:** it’s nothing bad though! I just needed some rest after the accident. I’m doing amazing now, as if the accident hadn’t happened.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Well, in that case, I’m glad :)

 **Yoosung:** I guess… but next time you shouldn’t disappear like that… last time…

 **ZEN:** aw, come on Yoosung, don’t think that, Jumin knew where I was. It’s all good now.

 **Yoosung:** you should text Seven, he was _very_ worried. Jumin told us you were fine but he still worried.

 **ZEN:** I will, and I’m sorry guys :))) Forgive me?

Just for fun and to convince them, Zen sent them a cute selca so they could see that he was indeed fine and everything was back to normal. Except for the relationship that he now has with Jumin, but that’s a whole other story.

 **ZEN:** [attached photo]

 **Yoosung:** fine fine, I’ll let it go. but don’t do that again ;(

 **Jaehee Kang:** You look different… there’s a glow about you.

 **ZEN:** Huh?? Really??

Looking back at the picture, Zen just saw himself. He didn’t understand what Jaehee was talking about but then again, that woman was _very_ perceptive. She wasn’t Jumin’s executive assistant for no reason.

 **Yoosung:** I just see Zen lol I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jaehee

 **Jaehee Kang:** Regardless, I’m happy you’re better and ready to go back to being a wonderful actor once you’re back in Korea.

 **Yoosung:** lolol you just want him back so he can continue acting

 **ZEN:** lol

 **Jaehee Kang:** It’s also been rather silent without you and Jumin chiming in on conversations. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy everyone, but I feel I’m not the only one that misses the bickering.

 **Yoosung:** scandalous!!!! Jaehee, are you admitting to loving drama??

 **Jaehee Kang:** I don’t love drama per se, but I’d like the lively atmosphere the two occasionally bring to the group.

 **ZEN:** you’re right, I’ve been absent these past two weeks, lucky for you we leave the day after tomorrow

 **Yoosung:** aww but i kind of like you being on vacation if it has you glowing as jaehee said

 **Jaehee Kang:** While I agree with the sentiment, here in the Zen fandom we have a saying

 **Yoosung:** Zen fandom?

 **Jaehee Kang:** The devil works hard, but Zen works harder. I’m happy you’ll be back soon.

 **Yoosung:** omg r u serious??

 **ZEN:** lolol

 **Yoosung:** bahahahaa that’s amazing. I guess it makes sense that Zen would have a fandom huh, never thought about it! He gained a lot of fans because of that video going viral

 **ZEN:** I still feel like choking seven sometimes but I’ve learned to let it go for the most part.

 **Jaehee Kang:** He’s also been in successful musicals and dramas since then, not to mention all the modeling jobs he’s been doing.

 **ZEN:** anyway guys, I’ve got to go. I’m trying to compose a piano piece for Jumin’s sister and I only have today to get it done. Thanks for forgiving me! ^^

 **Jaehee Kang:** Please be careful and good luck!

 **Yoosung:** don’t forget to message seven. Bye!!

That went better than he expected but truly, they were the best people to call friends. Zen has a habit of expecting the worst sometimes, he can’t help it. Before he goes back to the piano and the writing, he decided to do what Yoosung suggested and tell Seven that everything was fine.

ZEN:   
Saeyoung, Yoosung told me you were worried. Sorry, I was taking a break while I recovered from the accident.

Putting his phone down, he looked over the notes he had and took a deep breath. Still no message from the young director but he wasn’t going to worry about it anymore. The man was responsible enough to let him know if he needs anything. With that in mind, Zen brushed it all aside to continue what he was doing.

After trying the little bit he had already pieced together, Zen decided to let it flow from there and see where his fingers would take him. His only hope was for Junghee and Charles to like it and remember how in love they were the day of their wedding. The hook was the easiest part, he remembered bits and pieces of some he came up with just for fun years ago when he still used the piano on a daily basis. Once he fell deep into concentration as his fingers moved across the keys, the melody came together in a soft, pretty flow.

The next hour was spent with him practicing it over and over until he learned the small but pretty piece without messing up. At some point his mind wandered again, but this time he was thinking that lyrics would’ve paired nicely with it but this was already a struggle even though he used parts that already existed way before he even met Jumin.

A smile stretched his lips even though his eyes remained closed as he let the music fill him. One day he’ll write a piece for Jumin. When they’re back home and Zen gets inspiration, he’ll even write him an entire song.

“Zen,” his name being called broke his concentration and Zen slowly paused his fingers before turning to where Jumin was standing. The other looked tired but there were no visible signs of stress, or anything to indicate the lunch with Chairman Han went completely wrong. “You finished already?” The older man sounded impressed.

“Yes,” he grinned and scooted over before patting the empty spot, “I’m very pleased with it.”

Jumin watched him for a moment before walking over and taking a seat, reminding Zen of the other night when they played the intro to one of his songs. It was exciting to think that now he can lean over and kiss the other without a problem.

Even though he wanted to play it for him and hear his opinion, Zen wanted to know how it all went. It was hard to read him at the moment, the man seemed a bit distracted. “What’s on your mind?” That was his way of asking, because to him Jumin’s feelings were more important and a big indication of the outcome.

Nodding, Jumin leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was chaste, nothing like the previous kisses they’ve shared. This one was the type of kiss that transcribed to the need for comfort, for a soft voice and a warm body, and Zen ignored the taste of wine for that reason. “He apologized but I don’t know if I’m ready to accept it, so I told him he’ll have to wait for my response.”

“Good.” The old man deserved worse but he wasn’t going to aggravate the young director more than he seemed to be now. “Take your time to heal properly.”

“You’re incredible,” the other said instead, making Zen blush and blink in confusion. “I never got to say that to you at the hospital. Even though our relationship is just starting, you have done nothing but support me and defend me. Thank you.”

Zen didn’t know what brought this on, but if his efforts made this much of an impact on Jumin then he’s glad he’s outspoken about what he feels. It’s about time the other knows someone has his back no matter the consequences. “I supported you and defended you _as_ friends. Jumin, I would’ve supported and defended you even if we were still friends.” His stomach was doing summersaults as they stared into each other’s eyes. _Incredible, huh_ . “ _And_ encouragement is something you’ll always get from me as well.” Zen was a great partner, is basically what he’s trying to tell the man.

He was met with silence, and even though he wanted to leave Jumin be, give him space, Zen knew he needed to prod a bit more. This was spoken from his lips the night they went out for drinks, Jumin needs to learn to stop bottling everything up. It’s not healthy, it’s never healthy.

Leaning his head on the other’s shoulder, Zen breathed out softly and muttered, “talk to me,” while his hand felt the sleek surface of the piano. “I’ll listen to anything you have to say, Jumin. You don’t need to keep everything to yourself.”

A minute went by as they sat cuddled up on the piano stool. Zen is _never_ going to get over this, their relationship, their closeness. It all felt so natural, meant to be. There was no hesitation between them, none for the gentleness and the comfort they both always needed.

“I went out for a drink alone after meeting with my father, and thought about everything for a while.” The fact that he was honest about that brought back the smile on Zen’s face. “I didn’t drink much, I promise, but I needed some time alone. Not long after that all I wanted was to come back.”

“On a positive note, the outcome wasn’t bad at all. You dad apologized, that’s what you wanted to hear.” Not the greatest consolation prize when you compare the probably half assed apology to the crime, but something is something. “You know, when you encouraged me to reach out to my family, all I got was even more rejection from my brother who didn’t even bother mentioning my parents.” That not only opened up an old wound, it made his worst fear come true. That he was indeed unloved and forgotten, and he had nothing to come back to.

He should probably warn Jumin about that, about the wound in him left by his family. Zen wants to be as honest as possible. “The pain in me will most likely cause problems between us,” his tone was somber, almost a whisper, “so please don’t push me away if I ever start to get difficult. I--I don’t know how to explain it, sometimes my mind strays into dangerous territory. I try to throw myself into work to distract my mind, which by the way, I’m grateful of the many job opportunities you’ve offered. If you hadn’t… I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. It really hurt, it still hurts.”

That’s why he couldn’t stand Jumin letting his dad do horrible things with him. Everyone is different, but the pain that family can inflict on your heart is catastrophic.

“Hyun,” Jumin pulled back a bit so Zen could straighten up and meet the dark eyes he’s starting to love gazing into. The young director looked so determined it made him perk up to hear what he had to say. “I won’t ever abandon you, turn my back on you, or push you away,” Jumin whispered as he leaned close to brush his lips against his ear. “Don’t be afraid when you’re with me, there’s nothing you need to guard yourself against.”

Zen knows Jumin adores the RFA members despite everything, adores him, and he believes his words but the dark, sliver of doubt will always remain in his heart. There’s hope in him that even though time hasn’t done much, Jumin can heal that wound with his loyalty and his rarely seen but very much existent affection.

Nodding, he pressed closer when Jumin slipped his arm around his waist and their lips met once again. A lack of desperation didn’t make it less sensual as the older man did what Zen had done before and pressed his tongue forward with curiosity but also determination. It was hard not to laugh at how eager the other was to get versed on the subject.

“You’re laughing?” Jumin asked him a bit taken aback by his reaction.

One of his hands brushed back Jumin’s hair until he could grab a hold of the back of his head to gently guide him back to his lips. “Not at you, I promise,” he muttered between kisses. “Just, you’re so into this.”

There was no comment after that, instead the older man pulled him closer and began to let his hands wander. When his shirt was being pushed aside so Jumin could caress the muscles on his back, Zen panicked. “Wait, wait,” he couldn’t help looking back at the hall that leads to the entrance. “Your sister and Charles could be back any time, let’s not do this here.”

“But I want to touch your body,” Jumin argued back but moved away as adamant as he was.

“Huh?” Zen was officially broken. Those words broke his brain. Hi, hello, how does one function without a brain?

“You got to touch me last night, I want to do the same. It’s my turn to make you do all kinds of noises.” There was a strong buzz all over his body just from feeling the older man’s hands on his back, he can’t begin to imagine how he’ll feel with anything else. “I did some research while I was drinking,” he shared as he moved to gently squeeze one of Zen’s legs.

Jumin’s blunt statement made Zen’s entire body thrum with desire. God, it was so hard (no pun intended) to keep away from the stupid Trust fund kid. Zen wanted sex so bad. But they just started! As uncharacteristic of him as it was to even think that, Zen wanted to savor Jumin’s discoveries as they moved from one point to another in their relationship. He wanted to enjoy being the one Jumin gets to learn what he likes and doesn’t like about being in an intimate relationship with.

“Trust me, I want nothing more than for you to make me do all kinds of noises,” and just to make sure the other understood what he meant, he grabbed the hand on his thigh and placed it on his very obvious hardon. “But let’s wait until later, your sister wants to hear the finished piece and I don’t want us to get interrupted.”

Thankfully the trust fund kid didn’t argue with that, instead he held Zen’s eyes for a moment before giving him another kiss. “Or we could go to our bedroom and lock the door.” Tempting. He was thinking about it, wondering why the man was being so pushy. “Once we’re back in Korea, moments like this one will be few and far between. Why not take advantage of one of the last days we have here.”

Ah. That was a damn good reason. They still needed to discuss so many things before flying back to their home, but that can be dealt with later, much later. With a curl of his lips, Zen allows Jumin to have his way.

 

~

 

Passionate is not something Jumin would describe himself as, not by any means. He was many, many things but never passionate. That is until he learned what kissing Zen felt like, what feeling the warm planes of his muscled back was like. Something about the musical actor always brought out a side of him that he could never justify only because he prided himself on keeping his feelings in check. But arguing was nothing compared to having him flushed against the length of his own body, having that mouth gasp as Jumin let himself experiment by brushing his lips down his neck and kiss the hot skin.

The door barely closed behind them before Jumin pressed Zen against it rather earnestly, letting him know that he wasn’t kidding around when he said he wanted the other to make noises. Not thinking about the previous night turned out to be more difficult than Jumin anticipated. After the meeting at noon, all he could think about was Zen and his mouth, and his body. Which is why he decided to look up some stuff for his own benefit.

The ins and outs of a relationship between two men weren’t hard to figure out just by common sense alone, but Jumin wanted details. He wanted to know how to do things, or at least get an idea on how he could do things with Zen. And by things he means activities with the other’s body. He was so in love.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders and Jumin smiled against the other’s lips. “I want to marry you,” he gasped when Zen pulled on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You keep bringing up marriage,” Zen whispered back, trying to slow down the kissing so they could have this conversation.

“Marriage is important to me, I’m upset I can’t commit to you that way.”

Zen began to push against him and Jumin let the younger man back him up until his legs hit the edge of the bed. He noticed the other didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to, Jumin was simply sharing his thoughts with him. They’ve briefly talked about it, it’s not a possibility for them in Korea but maybe in the future at a given time.

“How about right now you act on this _research_ you did, or should I have my way with you again?” A hand pushed him and Jumin fell back on the bed. He wondered how Zen would react if he knew the things Jumin searched on Noogle. He’d probably turn as red as gochu and stutter in disbelief.

Feeling playful, Jumin said, “why don’t you do me a favor and undo your pants so I can show you everything I learned.”

“Are you serious?” All he did was smile up at Zen. “I--Jumin--”

“ _I want_ to try,” he confessed with a more tamed tone. As playful as their whole exchange was, Jumin was serious about this. “Take off your shirt,” he asked before leaning back on the bed.

Zen was anything but shy, but just as he did with the kiss that morning, he hesitated a bit before pulling his shirt off. Standing shirtless in front of Jumin was probably intimidating to him, not because of the lack of clothes per se, but because Jumin has always been an imposing figure in his life. Jumin wanted to change that.

One of his hands touched his stomach, making it inch back before he caressed his way up the defined abs to reach his chest. With his other hand Jumin began to undo Zen’s pants, pulling down the zipper and pushing them down until they fell all the way to the floor. Zen stepped out of them and continued to watch him. It almost felt predatory but maybe that’s just the beast the other occasionally mentions.

From this point on Jumin wasn’t sure what to do. The musical actor was standing in front of him wearing only his underpants, and Jumin had been pretty confident up until then. As if the other could read his mind, Zen laughed and bent down to grab his face and kiss him eagerly.

“Don’t pressure yourself,” Zen says against his jaw but Jumin gently pulls back to shake his head.

“Not pressuring myself. Just trying to… figure this out.”

Pulling the other closer by his hips, Jumin let himself press a kiss to the middle of his chest. Zen was gorgeous, he was so beautiful inside and out it was a bit hard to comprehend. And at times it’s still surprising that the younger man is down for being in a relationship with Jumin. He kissed down the middle, down the hard abs, down the taut stomach until he reached his bellybutton. Zen was already so hard, just for him. Knowing he had this power over him made Jumin want to do very inappropriate things.

His fingers rubbed down Zen’s legs before traveling back up to hook into the last piece of clothing keeping him from what he supposes is his prize. At this point the other probably realizes what Jumin is in the process of doing; he can feel the other tremble and he can hear his breathing become heavier.

“I’m going to touch you,” he tells as if it weren’t obvious. But explaining things made it seem less complicated in his mind. “I’m going to put it in my mouth.”

“Yes,” Zen gasped as his boxer briefs were tugged down his perfect legs.

It was seconds of him getting a full view of the angel that was Zen before he grabbed a hold of the twitching erection and brought it to his lips. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, _at all_. Jumin had no idea what to do other than to awkwardly think of it as some sort of popsicle. What he was very sure of was the fact that Zen didn’t care he didn’t know what he was doing.

The younger man brought a hand up and immediately threaded his fingers through Jumin’s hair. There was no pulling or anything like that, it was a very tender grab, tender enough to let him concentrate on trying to do his best.

“Oh my God,” Zen gasped when Jumin ceased his amateur licking to see how far he could take the other’s length. “Jumin,” he now moaned his name and it only encouraged Jumin to keep trying different things, “I’m not going to last.”

Pulling back, Jumin licked his lips and looked up at Zen before he said, “I don’t care. As long as you like it--”

“I love it, you’re so good.” Maybe he’s a natural, who knows. All Jumin cares about is to make them both feel good. Last time Zen took his time with him, made him feel _very_ good, this time Jumin was returning the favor. “It feels amazing.”

“Good.” He lapped at the erection before bringing it back into his mouth. Jumin wanted Zen to keep shivering under his touch, to keep moaning his name. He doesn’t feel comfortable enough to have actual sex in his sister’s home, but this was good, this was _great_.

When Zen began to rock his hips, Jumin reached over and gripped his _very_ firm butt to keep him in place. This was going better than he expected and he didn’t want to stop because he choked or something equally humiliating (not that he thinks Zen would ever think of it as that, not when he’s enjoying it this much).

Before he knew it, Zen was grabbing his hands and pulling back from his mouth with a soft whisper, “wait, I don’t want to come yet. Scoot back.”

Jumin did as he was told and Zen climbed on top of him until he was sitting on his lap. The younger man quickly undid his pants and ina swift motion he took a hold of Jumin’s length with his own and began to move his hand up and down along both of them.

Moving his head back, Jumin left his neck open for Zen’s lips to latch onto it and kiss him as he worked them both to completion. “You did so good Jumin, so good,” he praised Jumin against his skin before moving back up and capturing his lips in an unhinged kiss.

Being so free around the musical actor was addictive. Kissing him, touching him, hearing him was just as an addiction. How is Jumin going to ever live a normal life again without having this every night when he comes back from work, how?

Neither of them lasted very long after that. With enough pressure and the younger man’s tongue eliciting gasps out of him, the two finished around the same time but neither of them wanted to pull away from the other. This time everything happened very fast, they had no time to wrap their heads around what they were doing. But as Jumin’s arms tightened around Zen’s waist, and Zen’s thumbs brushed Jumin’s face, neither of them wanted the moment to end just yet.

“I don’t want to be away from you, ever,” he said a bit breathlessly. Falling back on the bed, Jumin pulled Zen along with him and the two hugged each other while their hearts slowed down and their bodies tuned down on the quivering from their orgasm.

Zen brushed some of his hair away from his face before he raised himself to look down at Jumin. “You mean that?”

Closing his eyes, Jumin sighed and said, “of course I mean it. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”

There was a moment of silence, but eventually Zen snuggled down against him again and tightened his arms around Jumin. “You keep bringing up wanting to marry me, and now you’re saying you don’t want to be away from me…”

“Should I not say it?”

He felt the younger man shake his head. “I don’t mean to sound hesitant or that I don’t like it. I love it. I’m just a bit afraid I guess.” Frowning, Jumin opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling as he waited for the other to continue. “What if I’m encasing myself in a bubble and when we’re back in Korea, it’ll burst.”

“I appreciate the fact that you’re being realistic about all of this, but don’t be so pessimistic. We’ll be okay as long as we decide to be okay.”

Zen kept quiet and Jumin didn’t like that. When the other kept quiet it meant he was thinking too much, and not the kind of thinking Jumin approves of. “What are you afraid of?” He asked, wanting to understand where the other was coming from.

Again he was met with silence, but this time it didn’t last long. “What if you change your mind.”

Okay, he can’t have Zen thinking he was some sort of playboy. Unlike his father, Jumin had morals and a desire for stability. Not to mention Jumin was (unexpectedly) madly in love with him and there was simply no way he’d change his mind, not like that.

“Will you take allergy medicine?”

“Huh?”

Has Zen forgotten? “Allergy medicine. Will you take it to be near me and my Elizabeth.”

Getting up again to look at Jumin’s face, Zen’s big red eyes were even bigger as he blinked in shock. “I can’t believe I forgot about the furball.” When he noticed that Jumin was still waiting for his reply, the musical actor said, “uh, yeah, of course I’ll take allergy medicine.” He has to if he wants to be in Jumin’s home so really he was left with no choice.

“Then I won’t change my mind.”  

Unfortunately for Jumin, Zen didn’t want to buy that simple but truthful response. “You can’t know whether you’ll change your mind or not Jumin. There could be a hundred things you find out you don’t like about me.”

“Nothing would be serious enough to change my feelings for you. They’re still the same despite all the things that I _already_ don’t like about you.” Zen contemplated on it and probably realized that it was true, despite his reminder of how this friendship between them started, Jumin never changed the way he felt about him. “Except—“

“Jumin!” Zen pushed his shoulder roughly, not appreciating his timing.

“—your motorcycle.” He can’t stand that thing, he _won’t_ stand it.

The glare wasn’t enough to make Jumin stand down on this. “What about my motorcycle!?”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“So is your cat!” It was offensive to compare beautiful Elizabeth 3rd to an ugly and dangerous thing such as a motorcycle, but he was going to let that slide for the sake of winning this argument.

“It’s not the same type of danger. I have read many studies that show motorcycles are incredibly dangerous. I wish for you to read them.” He even emailed them to himself in case the other ever wanted to read them and maybe learn a thing or two about the dangerous mode of transport he chooses for himself. “This is part of those compromises we spoke of.”

“We’ll talk about this another time…”

He’ll get through to him, Jumin knows it. But maybe today is not the day, at least not when they just had yet another mind blowing moment between them.

When the other didn’t move to cuddle him again, Jumin met his eyes and the two stared at one another for a while. “I can’t believe this happened in less than two weeks,” Zen whispered as he lowered his head to kiss the corner of his mouth. “You don’t think we moved too fast to be this in love?”

Whether Zen’s question was rhetorical or not, Jumin wanted to answer it anyway. “I suppose one could say it’s unorthodox and a bit questionable, but I don’t care.” And that was that. “You’re in love?”

The look he got from the younger man made him look away. “Are you not?” He basically proposed to Zen multiple times, he has no place to wonder about the other being in love with him already. And truthfully, Jumin was in love too, _madly_ in love.

“I am.” The smile they shared between them faded as their lips met one more time. Again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed the top notes, the song in this chapter is “Kyuhyun - If You”.
> 
> 1\. Supportive boyfriends get me ok, let me cry in peace
> 
> 2\. I just want to comment on the character development Jumin is showing in this chapter. I never understood his whole obsession with family and all that stuff because in the game you’re told he doesn’t actually like his father much, if at all. So by giving him this complex family background I thought it’d be good to have him understand that yes, you can love family unconditionally but you don’t have to put up with their bullshit. Not everyone’s family is the same as yours, etc. Anyway, I found it annoying how his game character kept pushing Zen to go talk to his own family even though it’s pretty clear (as an assumption) that they’ve never made the effort to make contact with him or even wonder how their own child/brother is doing. I think that says a lot about Zen’s family, as opposed to Jumin’s who actually do keep in touch with him (as minimal as that might be) and the worst that’s happened is his dad being a dumbfuck trying to marry him off.
> 
> 3\. Now to comment on my excuse of interpreting Chairman Han as a royal dick. Chairman Han has shown in the game what an idiot he is regarding his so called “love” for his son Jumin. The guy runs a very successful, very rich company (even though I believe it was stated somewhere that he comes from a very rich family anyway lol but you get what I mean), he’s not stupid is basically my point. He knew what he did when he “gave away” (for the lack of a better term) his son to Sarah just for a pair of tits. Like, come on hahahaha so yes. He’s an asshole in this story and I don’t feel bad for him. Good for Jumin for not taking his half assed apology. *drops mic*
> 
> 4\. Jumin dragging his dad lmao
> 
> 5\. In the game we’re given clues and glimpses at the fact that Zen has some sort of dark side to his personality. The RFA mentions how the MC softens him a lot, which means he was probably very guarded and aloof to them most of the time outside of jokes and light talk, and I think that’s so cute because being in love brings out the best of him; his super protective, passionate, loving, soft nature. But even though his character might believe Love cures it all, that’s not how reality works. For now, he can enjoy being completely happy for once in his life.
> 
> 6\. LOL just felt like pointing out that Zen is very prideful at times, and that just… ahh… Jumin has daddy issues hahahaahaha anyway
> 
> 7\. You’ll find out why Seven was worried :3
> 
> 8\. OK I K N O W Zen creating a piano piece in a couple of hours is a reach. He was supposed to start making it chapters ago but I kept putting it off lmao so here we are now. He’s just that talented (*ゝω・)ﾉ Also he only plays the first part until the beginning tune starts up, in a loop. Think YIRUMA type of music. So really, it does make sense :P shhh
> 
> 9\. Jumin doing things !!! I’ve written super raunchy fics and also super vanilla ones, but this is the first time I write something between raunchy and vanilla, and I don’t know if it’s a fail or not so please let me know lmao I hope at least y’all enjoyed it
> 
> 10\. they’re making fun of the game since you fall in love in 10 days lol that is all
> 
> At this point y'all know why I'm taking forever lol but no worries, next chapter is most likely the last one! (I haven't decided yet), so YAY WE'RE ALMOST AT THE END!! A round of applause!
> 
> Thank you SO SOS SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSSOOSOSOS OS SO SO SOS OSO much to all of you who leave a comment here, or in my tumblr, or in my posts about the story, y'all are genuinely the best, it cheers me up, especially these past few weeks that I've been going through a very tough and physically painful time. I truly appreciate each and every one of you, and I wish you guys receive encouragement or cheeriness as much as I do because omg it's so much, sososoooo much. You guys rock. And also, I want to remind you guys, y’all are freeeeaking hilarious bahahaha I love the stuff you leave as comments. Sometimes I go back and reread previous chapter’s comments because A++++ commentary 10/10 lmao


	13. When the storm passed and the rainbows were born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin might have let his emotions run a little wild for the first time, this is what Zen does to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pure WAFF.
> 
> -
> 
> Chapter game: take a shot every time Zen refers to Jumin as handsome lmao
> 
> Warning: mild sexual content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

DAY 10

* * *

 

 

There was something that was bothering Jumin. Something that’s been on the back of his mind since _it_ started, but now that he gets to hold, kiss, and love Zen, he feels the ghostly crawling sensation of guilt whenever he looks into the younger man’s eyes.

“I don’t want to move, but I also want a shower because I feel gross,” said young man announced with a lovely smile, one Jumin sees for the first time and adds it to the other smiles he has mentally categorized already. The two were laying in bed, _cuddling_ as Zen put it earlier that morning when he scooted close and pulled Jumin closer. Neither had cared, or questioned when things like that started to feel as natural as breathing. It’s almost like the two have been reborn, together, in a matter of days. “Wanna shower with me?”

About ten hours, that’s how long they have before his sister’s wedding takes place. It would be enough for them to shower together, it would also be enough for him to visit Juwon while his mother is out of the hospital and away from his side (they need to have a serious conversation, alone). Ten hours should be enough for him to figure out how to tell Zen the truth of what went down between Rika, V, and Seven’s brother.

His hand doesn’t hesitate when he buries it in the long, sleek hair of the musical actor and brings his lips to his own, then says, “yes,” pulling a grin from Zen as he leaves the comfort of the warm bed. Before Jumin could tell himself that he could get used to this type of morning, Jumin realizes he already doesn’t want any other kind.

Is it possible? Would it still be an option if he speaks the _truth_?

When Saeran shot V because of Rika, he never thought he’d be sitting on the decision of revealing the truth to his _boyfriend_ . The decision was made prior to his involvement with Zen but… in retrospect, it might not have been the brightest idea to keep things from anyone in the RFA, let alone _Zen_ . Was a secret not the reason things went down the way they did _to begin with_? Really, he should’ve known this was going to happen one way or another.

 _Secrets_ are like _poison_ , and you will die, slowly but surely, an agonizing death.

Jumin needed to talk to Saeyoung. Sighing, he began to question his own brilliance, behavior, thought process, and decision making skills as he stared down at the screen on his phone. Frustrated doesn’t begin to describe how he feels right now.

Jumin Han:   
I would like to inquire you about something serious.

707:   
wanna video chat?

Jumin Han:   
Zen is waiting on me, I don’t have time to video chat.

707:   
Ok so just shoot, what can i help with

Jumin Han:   
V’s death, Saeran, Rika…  
Should I tell him everything?

707:   
wait... uhhh… you haven’t told him?  
is he asking about it?  
i thought you told him and I was worried that was the reason he stayed away from the chatrooms. he was ignoring me and yoosung, so i thought… ahhh, im glad he doesnt know yet.

Jumin Han:   
No, I haven’t said anything.  
Both of us believe in having no secrets between us. Zen was very special to both V and Rika, and you wanted to protect your brother, which is why I agreed to everything. When we decided to keep the truth from both him and Yoosung, I didn’t think I’d be in this position.

707:   
i see…… he might get super pissed, im sry……. if u think its best for you two then i cant stop you from telling him

Jumin Han:   
I was trying to protect everyone. Saeran, Zen, even Yoosung. That’s a valid excuse, right?  
I couldn’t let them know Saeran killed V in order to protect your brother, but I can’t lie and say I also didn’t want them to hurt over the truth.

707:   
Dude…  
I don’t know if i can help you predict zen’s reaction to the truth…….. but do think of me and my brother when you tell him? I love zen as much as you do  
okokoko not AS MUCH as YOU, but you know what i mean  
i guess i feared he’d leave the rfa if he ever found out the truth. I left him so many messages.  
he messaged me back yesterday but i’ve been so busy and i didn’t know what was going on between you two

What’s done is done. No point in dwelling on that. What Jumin needed to do was figure out _when_ to tell Zen what happened, and why he kept it a secret.

The shower was already running, steam was slowly escaping the confinement of the bathroom walls to fill the bedroom as he continued reading what Seven had to tell him.

“Jumin?” Looking up, he met Zen’s big, pretty red eyes with a raised eyebrow. “Are you going to join me or did you change your mind?” He didn’t want the younger man to think he was second guessing saying yes to showering together, so leaving his phone behind, Jumin got off the bed and made his way to the bathroom. “Is something wrong?”

Pulling the glass door open, he watched Zen walk in and stand under the warm water before he joined. “No, nothing’s wrong.” Lie, more lies. But is it a lie if he’s just holding off on revealing the truth? _Yes, and you’re not fooling anyone, not even yourself_ , he thought ruefully.

Not believing a word he said, because of course he wouldn’t, Zen turned around to give him a pointed look. His annoying face couldn’t stop him from thinking he was sculpted like the Greek Gods he read so much about back in University. Funny how he can easily insert that sort of fleeting thought about the younger man into any inner monologue at any point and not find it strange.

“You were looking at your phone as if it was the source of all your problems,” he laughed then pouted as he muttered, “actually, that might not be far from the truth considering your job.”

Feeling more comfortable with physical closeness--a development that, again, was difficult to wrap his mind around--Jumin sneaked his arms between the younger man’s arms and wrapped them around his middle to pull him back against his body. He shivered from the wet skin, but not a moment later he was also being engulfed in the warm spray.

“ _You’re_ the source of all my problems,” he obviously joked (but is it entirely a joke if there’s truth behind the statement considering the current situation?), making Zen shake his head but chuckle nonetheless. “You like my humor.”

“I’ll _humor_ your humor because I’m going to live with it and that leaves little choice.”

Jumin licked his lips before resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. “You’ll live with me?” The thought of them sharing a home, _his_ home made him want to grab him and--Without his permission his mind began to make up scenarios where they’d both work while lounging on his favorite sofa, be able to kiss goodbye in the mornings and goodnight at bedtime, maybe be driven to work together, he can see the younger man cooking in the kitchen, possibly making a protein shake while inviting Jumin to run with him. The idea of being greeted by both Zen and Elizabeth was a thought that made his stomach flutter.

He seems to have a thing for white haired beauties.

Turning around in his arms, Zen looked at him and said, “Not what I meant. Jumin, I don’t think living with you will be ideal.” That certainly broke the nice illusion he had going. Noticing the disappointment in his face no doubt, Zen smiled softly and brushed back his wet hair before leaning over to press a warm, chaste kiss on his lips. “I feel like it’s a bit unfair to say this, but I want to have both you and my career. Unlike you, I’m not untouchable. Any slip up and it’s over for me, at least in the public eye. That’s not to say I also worry about your reputation--”

“I don’t care about my reputation in the public eye. It’s not like people _like_ me, I’m known to be a tough boss and a tough business partner.” Not to mention, Jumin could charm his way into and out of any situation, no problem at all. And, sure, he holds the stocks at a very high level. But at this point Jumin has dealt with _so many_ near-disaster events thanks to his father that he could easily handle a problem he’d at least have control over the reason it’s come to be.

“And that’s great, but think about me, yes?”

It’s almost cute how Zen’s assumption is that Jumin doesn’t think about him. This isn’t the first time the musical actor’s feelings have been on his mind, but it’s the first time in his life the other is taken into consideration as someone whose life is now intertwined with his own.

“I think about you, I think about you a lot,” Jumin confesses and the way Zen’s face falls before he blinks in realization that no, Jumin wasn’t lying about what he was saying. He wasn’t joking, he wasn’t trying to be cruel. “I have for a long time. I’m surprised you still don’t see it.” Half the time related to business, but the other half just because.

According to V, Rika saw that coming from a mile away before they even met. He never knew how to feel about that confession, but Jumin certainly understands _what_ she might have meant with it.

Jumin had deducted that the second Zen sauntered into his life as if he was made to belong there, his entire world would be turned upside down. And not because of what anyone else would assume. His life has quite literally been his work for a long time. Since before the younger man even ran away from his home and family. Jumin was raised to fulfill a position, to follow a set of steps, and to do that whether he wanted to or not. It’s something he, thankfully, loves. But he also loves Zen; he loves having him on his side, he also loves annoying the crap out of him, being cared for by him, being wanted.

And now he has to figure out how on earth he was going to do with what that entails. Seeing each other in secret, would it work? Would it be enough? They’re both terribly busy people. But does any of that matter if all Jumin wants is to give him whatever he asks for?

Hyun deserves so much from life. As appalling as it was to get sentimental, Jumin can admit that the musical actor was someone who wormed its way into his heart and now he couldn’t stop seeing all the injustices served to him. All the things that _he_ , Jumin Han, could’ve prevented if they had started this sooner. Which was ridiculous. He never, _ever_ worries about what he can’t change (especially something as immutable as the past). This is the power the brat has over him. Zen makes Jumin think of things that would’ve been considered a complete waste of time, but that are now his the blueprint to how he should love and care for the younger man.

As simple and clichéd as it was, Jumin wishes nothing more than for the two to be completely happy from now on. And truth be told, Zen had been very upfront about everything, he hasn’t shied away from being honest with him about the scars his past has left on him, and what Jumin can do to heal from his own. In his opinion, someone like that is someone of quality, beneficial, and that he wishes to retain for the rest of his life. Maybe his past relationships didn’t work because Zen was meant to be his. Maybe fate works in funny ways and they were always meant to be together. Whatever the case may be, Jumin promises Zen and to himself that he’s going to do what’s in his power in order to make this not only work but also last. Forever.

If that means letting Zen have both his job and their relationship, then so be it. It’s not like it was going to be easy to begin with, and really, just **how many times** is Jumin going to admit to himself Zen can do anything with him and he’d be fine with it, as if that would change a thing.

Life is different now. It began to be different the moment Hyun in his annoying, beautiful entirety transcended to a more important priority among the very few Jumin already had. Elizabeth 3rd, work, family, RFA. That was his life, he revolved around those four things. And it’s ludicrous that he worries about another grown man the way he does about the musical actor, but it is what it is. He can’t stop, not because he _can’t_ , he can’t stop because he doesn’t _want_ to.

There is a fire in him roaring strong and hot, that Hyun has kindled. One Jumin never thought existed. For that Hyun deserves only the best from him.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispers in his ear before slowly pressing his lips against the skin under his jaw. Voicing his desires has never been a problem, so he found it very easy to do so with Zen. The other was very _free_ , Jumin had been warned beforehand so there was no complaint about that (not that there could ever be one to begin with--he is _not a robot_ ).

Jumin finds his breath grow shorter as the other laughs a breathy, “no one's stopping you,” before grabbing his _lost_ hands and unabashedly placing them against the hot skin of his lower back for Jumin because for some reason he finds himself unable to do it himself. “We’re in the shower, together,” Zen reminds him as if it weren’t the highlight of his entire life at this point.

Showers were the most boring part of his life along with his usual morning routine, for they were meant to get him ready for the day. He would’ve never imagined something as standard as showering could become so _engaging_. He supposes his only complaint would be this was going to be a rare treat, as will be a lot of other things they’d want to enjoy often but won’t be able to.

_What was it that he said to Zen the previous night? Don’t be so pessimistic?_

His hands squeezed the taut, supple skin of the other’s ass, drawing a soft moan from Zen when he pressed hard against him. “This is nice,” Jumin let him know, trying to keep the mood going despite the serious thoughts that distract him between instances. “I like showering with you, especially when I get to have your body pressed against mine like this.”

“Where is shy Jumin?” Zen gasps, allowing Jumin to turn him around.

“I’m not shy,” he explains with a smile and a glance down the muscular back, “I’m just careful when doing things I’ve never done before, to learn properly.” And amongst those things is Zen’s body.

Thinking back on _the lie_ , Jumin changes the tempo and wraps his arms around Zen, hugging him tightly from behind, almost afraid to let go. This was _so good_ , he felt _so happy_ . It can’t end because of a single lie, can it? Jumin doesn’t want it to. He’s never been in a relationship and he’s never had anything like this with anyone before, and he doesn’t want it. All he wants is Hyun. How was he to know _the lie_ would become a giant snowball about to collide with him?

“Jumin?”

Kissing his neck, Jumin smiled against the pale skin, his heart beginning to beat faster. Zen would forgive him, he would understand his intentions and forgive Jumin. He felt a shiver run through the body he was still holding tight.

“I also hate it when you do that,” the annoyed mutter just made him smile more. “I’m talking to you, you know?”

“Hm,” it’s not that Jumin is ignoring him, it’s that he’s trying to go through all these emotions one by one without ruining the mood. This was what Zen spoke about when he told him he needed to stop bottling things up and to deal with feelings properly, he assumes. Jumin wondered if the strange, fast paced switch between one mood and the other was normal.

After being distracted for a moment, Zen pulled one of his arms and gently guided his hand down to his stomach. Jumin thought he’d let go of it when his fingers began to caress their way down past his belly button, but the younger man didn’t. “Here,” the other whispers before turning his head to give him a mischievous grin, “let me give you a hand since you seem distracted.” And all Jumin could think was, _yes, teach me how you want me to touch you_.

The two spent an entire hour in the shower, something he’s never done in his life. Not even as a child, Jumin doesn’t recall any moment he spent more than the necessary time in the shower. With a last warm press of enticing lips Jumin peeled himself from the other and grabbed towels for them, handing one to Zen before he said, “since my mother came back from the hospital this morning I was thinking of visiting Juwon.”

Zen paused in the middle of drying his hair to nod and smile at him. “That’s a great idea. Are you going to talk to him about working with you in the company?”

“Yes.” They’re leaving very soon, and before his brother is sent to a facility where he can work on his current problems, Jumin wants to give him a rundown of the stipulation so that the two can be together in Korea and broaden their bond as brothers. This was not only about him and his desire to bring his family closer. It was about time Juwon felt like part of the family. He can’t imagine how isolated he must have felt for all these years. Angry, resentful.

His eyes locked with Zen’s and Jumin felt his heart skip a beat. Odd. Maybe he’s sick? He knows people feel _things_ when they’re in love, but surely your heart beating in a weird pace couldn’t be healthy. “Yes?” The little smile aimed at him, the softness of the stare were gestures Jumin never imagined he’d find so comforting, not when they came from Zen.

“You should do this on your own,” the actor suggested before moving to wrap the towel around his waist to focus more on Jumin. “Have a nice talk with Juwon, show him that you’re nothing like your dad. Give him something to look forward to when he’s done with recovery.”

Jumin himself is the most capable person he knows, because he’s diligent and likes to get things done. Talking to his younger brother isn’t the issue, _an_ issue. The things about all of this is, Jumin has grown a lot in the past week and some. Books, meetings, business trips, none of that has taught him about himself as much as this trip and Zen have. When V died, he grew too, but he also made a decision that is now coming back to haunt him during one of the most important and happy moments of his life. Jumin doesn’t want to take a step in the wrong direction with his brother.

With a scrunched up nose Zen moved to kiss his forehead hastily, almost afraid to make the gesture too sentimental, and said, “you’re always talking about how extraordinary you are. You got this!” It was mostly teasing rather than advice, but Jumin took it with a soft smile. The guy constantly complains about not being able to act on his soft and romantic feelings, yet this is what Jumin gets.

There was no time for him to even give the other a look because he wanted to make use of the time left in America to his advantage, efficiently.

Jumin made it to the hospital almost an hour after he was ready. Los Angeles was a big and busy city so it’s understandable. Juwon was on his phone when he walked into the room, looking pale and still wrapped up, simulating a badly dressed mummy. Jumin’s eyes swept the whole thing up in one go and he understood just how lucky Zen is to have a body that heals at an incredibly fast rate. How lucky _he_ is for that ability as well. But right now his brother is still in a lot of pain and in a lot of medication, not to mention the withdrawal of whatever bullshit he put in his body.

Is he lucky himself to have sharp control over his emotions? His brother looks scared, tired, nothing like the fiery little shit that greeted him and Zen over a week ago. “Jumin… I--”

Raising his hand in front of him, Jumin silenced his youngest sibling before he could ask him to leave like the last time he visited. “I’m not angry, or upset, or anything you need to worry about.” He should be, Zen was very close to being in the same or worse situation, but nothing good would come from holding onto negative feelings. “I wanted to talk to you.”

His eyes fell on the multiple flower arrangements decorating the room. “You’ve had visitors?” Most likely people that attended Junghee’s bridal shower, possibly mutual acquaintances.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Juwon breathed out with some difficulty and Jumin mentally winced at the thought of the reason for that being the broken ribs. “Leave me alone.”

No small talk, that’s fine with him. Brushing aside any soft thought he might have had, any elaborated reason behind his decision, Jumin decided to cut through the chase. “Things are going to be different from now on, Juwon,” he began, toning down the business-like voice he uses on meetings. “I’m not going to ‘leave you alone’ anymore,” he quoted with his fingers, feeling slightly silly doing it but it’s what kids do these days so he thought it an appropriate expression.

The dark, tired eyes showed no emotion other than complete boredom and mild annoyance, so Jumin decided to explain the situation with more detail, exasperated with the fact that his own brother is unable to follow his thoughts. “I’ve come to the conclusion that the way we’ve interacted so far hasn’t been the most _fruitful_. Or the lack thereof, because let’s be frank, we don’t know each other, we barely interact as it is.”

“What?” The youngest Han spat at him, his eyes glazing over while his face contorts into a very angry look. “So now you want to give a shit about your family?”

“ _You_ could’ve easily reached out to me,” the words automatically left his mouth, only realizing that it was probably the worst thing he could’ve said. A fact, but not one he should’ve brought up. Jumin was older, he should’ve done his job as an older brother. “ _But_ that’s not the point,” he retracted, sighing softly before walking closer to the bed.

 _Think of Zen, think of the things he’s shared about his own older brother_ , he thought then shoved a hand in his pocket. Jumin could’ve been unavailable. His father could’ve stopped Juwon from reaching him. Juwon could’ve felt like he wasn’t going to be addressed. There could be many reasons why he never received a call, email, or text from his younger brother, but the only thing that matters to someone young like Juwon is why Jumin didn’t do the same.

“I would like us to work on our relationship as siblings.”

Grimacing, Juwon closed his eyes and shook his head very carefully before he said, “I don’t know how you got someone like Hyun to be your boyfriend. You’re so… dull.”

That comment was ignored. “So,” he began again, “our relationship--”

“Oh my God, Jumin, yes. I agree and yes, I’ll do it.” If it weren’t for the faint blush on his cheeks, Jumin would’ve assumed his brother was just being rude.

He smiled softly before moving to sit on the bed comfortably. “You’ll spend time in a facility where you’ll get help and turn your life around,” the other was about to protest but Jumin stopped him. “No choice on the matter. When you complete this, you’ll come to Korea and I’ll teach you everything you need to know about my position in the company.”

“Really?” His brother’s hopeful but careful tone made his smile falter. Jumin truly failed him. Juwon would be in a different position if he had just done what he should’ve done from the beginning as his older brother. “Does _he_ know of this?”

“It doesn’t matter what Father knows or approves of.” If the company stocks can yoyo thanks to his father’s inability to live his life without showcasing it to the whole world, then Juwon working for and learning from Jumin shouldn’t be an issue. He’ll make sure it isn’t one. “But like I previously stated, you have to prove that you’re willing to put _all of_ _this_ behind. The drugs,, the alcohol, the misbehaving, it all has to stop.”

Juwon didn’t agree right away despite readily agreeing moments ago, but Jumin gave him all the time he needed. They stared at one another for a while, his younger brother shedding silent tears while Jumin wondered if he had been the same had he grown up with his mother instead of his father; an emotional mess. _Zen would argue that I’m already one, just on the opposite side of the spectrum_.

“Did _he_ really not know you were into guys?” Jumin stared at his brother for a long, silent while. What kind of question is that? The kid rubbed his tears off his face and waited for him to be open.

Actually, this could be them having their first conversation as brothers. The kid’s curiosity wasn’t unimaginable. “I’ve only been interested in Hyun, so I understand why Father wouldn’t form a different opinion right away.”

“Isn’t it, like,” his brother paused while looking away in thought before he continued, “hard for you to be into dudes in Korea? And isn’t he like, an actor or a singer--”

“Musical actor, yes,” he corrected the other. Jumin doesn’t actually _know_ how hard it is to be into guys in Korea while being a guy himself, but he’s about to find out soon. “I suppose so. But that’s not something you have to concern yourself about. Unless…”

Blushing madly, Juwon’s eyes widened comically before he stuttered, “what the--no! I’m not into dudes!” He caught himself acting _too_ offended over a simple assumption, so he cleared his throat and tried to hold Jumin’s gaze. “I have a girlfriend. _Had_ …” When Jumin raised an eyebrow at his correction, his brother elaborated on it by confessing, “if I’m going to go through rehab, I won’t be keeping in contact with her… She’s just as bad as me.”

Oh. “That’s very mature of you,” he was pleasantly surprised. It gave him reasons to believe the other would actually get better.

Fingers played with the bedsheets before the hands were laid down on his lap. “Hyun… he’s a nice guy. Don’t let--don’t ruin it. This family needs people like him.”

Brats could be very cute sometimes, he speaks of both his brother and Zen. “You’ve only talked to him a handful of times,” he teased, feeling more comfortable by the second. Having a brother wasn’t so bad after all.

A brief moment of silence passed between them, reminding him of the fact that they’re not close _yet_. His brother is still in shock from the accident, riding whatever emotions that evoked, patience is the key here. While Juwon showed a sign of maturity, of self realization, that doesn’t mean everything is fixed or will be easily fixed. Jumin’s come to learn this thanks to the trip and his companion.

“If the old man didn’t know you were into guys, and you say it doesn’t matter whether he likes the idea of me working with you, does that mean you’re not close with him?”

“There’s a lot you have yet to learn about me and my relationship with Father.” It was somewhat of a cryptic message, but it was true. Juwon probably fantasizes him growing happily and closely along with his father when in reality it couldn’t farther from the truth. They’re not _close_ . Jumin isn’t _close_ with anyone in his family (that’s changing soon).

The urge to tell him that things weren’t as great as he thinks they were came and went instantly. Thanks to Zen, Jumin has it ingrained in his head that he isn’t sympathetic enough. That he doesn’t know how to put himself in someone else’s shoes. Well, the musical actor should feel proud of him because he stopped himself from making what could’ve been perceived as an insensitive comment.

“First, work on your health.”

Even though that was an important topic, there was no reason for them to go around in circles about it, it’s not like his brother can do anything about it right this moment. Their mother wanted him to stay as long as he needed to heal properly before walking out. Why risk letting the kid go nuts again by letting him walk off. And really, he could since he’s an adult, but maybe not doing so is also part of the growth Juwon is experiencing.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” His brother asked. “How are we going to do this?”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Jumin leaned back and said, “I’ll arrange everything with Mother. You’ll be taken care of, and I’ll keep track of it all.”

“Are you going to act like my parent now? You know I’m technically an adult now, right?”

“No,” he replied monotonously, “but I will do what should’ve been done by our parents long ago.” Juwon is not an actual child anymore, although he acts like one, parents is not what his brother needs. He needs a support system and tough love. Not to mention boundaries.

“Are you taking away my trust fund?”

“I’ll be managing over your finances for the time being, yes,” and it’s not like he’ll need them while being in the facility he needs to research on soon.

He saw Juwon’s face turn impossibly red, but despite the angry feeling emitting from him, he kept his mouth shut and looked away before he spat, “fine. I get it, this isn’t a joke.”

Well, at least he doesn’t have to argue about that. Jumin was happy to know his brother _did_ in fact know when to give up.

“Junghee told me I can’t go to the wedding, but I don’t think that’s right.”

“It’s not about what you think is right,” Jumin sighed. “You’re injured, you need to rest. We’ll take plenty of pictures and video of it so you can see it later.”

“I was supposed to be there with her--”

Dark eyes slid over to his brother, essentially shutting him up even though that wasn’t his intention at all. He’s _tired_ of people acting like they don’t understand their actions have consequences. “And you effectively ended that course of action by acting like a fool. So live with the fact that _you_ , albeit unintentionally, chose to be absent from the wedding.”

Seeing the youngest Han sibling so bothered by the fact that he wasn’t going to attend the wedding made Jumin feel a pang of sympathy. He shouldn’t because Juwon brought this upon himself, but up until what point is it the kid’s wrongdoing as opposed to the result of his father’s rejection and his mother’s lack of concern. This was difficult, he wasn’t going to lie. Dealing with emotions, emotions coming from _other people_ was simply _annoying_.

“Sorry for putting your boyfriend in danger,” the mutter was difficult to make out but Jumin did with how close he was. “I already apologized to him and he forgave me. He said he wasn’t going to press charges.”

There is a part of him that still wishes Zen would press charges, if only to further push the lesson onto his brother. He likes what he’s seeing here today though, so he isn’t going to insist. “Good, he didn’t deserve that.” Not to mention he’s been trying not to think about the fact that he pushed the musical actor to talk to Juwon, making him guilty of what happened indirectly.

Any conversation ended there. His brother’s eyes glazed in pain and Jumin watched a nurse come in and help him take his meds until he stopped grimacing. He stayed with Juwon long enough to watch the boy fall asleep, Jumin took that time to wonder if things would go as smooth when they’re both in Korea and they work together. The visit hadn’t been a waste, of that he’s glad. Jumin hates wasting his time more than anything in the world.

Looking down at his watch, Jumin gathered all thoughts into a tiny box inside his head and stored them in for later. Six and a half hours left before the wedding begins, he can worry about the bag of drugs still sitting in the bedroom, about managing his brother’s trust fund, about everything that has to be done by the time Juwon’s released from the hospital. For the rest of the day, Jumin wants to focus on dealing only, and only with Zen and the relationship they now have.

Jumin Han:   
What are you doing?

ZEN:   
Playing the piano. How’re things with your brother?

Jumin Han:   
Be ready in 5. I’m having someone pick you up and bring you to me.

ZEN:   
-_-  
You could at least answer my question. Where are you exactly?

Jumin doesn’t know, but he’s going to find out in a minute. Juwon is right, Zen is nice, he’s a very nice guy and he deserves the best. And if they’re going to hash details between them including revealing the truth of the day V died, they might as well do it while enjoying a nice and relaxing date. Just the two of them, no fake relationship, no _lies_. If Jumin is good at something, it’s being consistent and smart about the things he does, so why not go with your instinct, why not talk the way he’s always talked and the way that’s always worked.

 

~

 

The had started in the most perfect way; Zen loves mornings like the one him and Jumin shared, and he wishes they hadn’t been kept away this long because they put him in such a _good_ mood. Jumin’s message had been, to be completely honest, not strange. The irritating man has the habit of willingly snatching him away from his home or wherever he happens to be at the time of the man’s ideas. So if the universe thought it could ruin a great day, Zen had something to say to the asshole universe. Having his messages be ignored by Jumin wasn’t new either.

 _Bring it on_ , he taunted at no one in particular while he waited for the damn car.

Staring off into the scenery of the beautiful gardens of the home, Zen wondered how this was going to work in Korea. Will Jumin send for him all the time? That seems suspicious, but at the same time if he’s the one to make his way to Jumin, anyone would recognize him right away and know where he’s going if he’s followed around (which has been known to happen in the past--and not from just his fans, also from people who think of him too beautiful.)

The car they arrived in came up the allée and stopped right in front of him before two gigantic, burly dudes got out and opened the car for him. Does the man have to find every possible chance to irritate him on purpose? Having this done is, again, not new, but why is it so necessary to have such extra bodyguards? Also, although it’s unwarranted as Jumin thinks of everything despite the situation, Zen wondered if Jumin has thought about his bodyguards and what’ll happen when they want to go places but have to be followed by them. Will they sign a contract to not talk about Jumin’s personal relationship with Zen? Will they have to hide their relationship _also_ around the bodyguards?

He’s not going to lie, all this thinking makes him feel dizzy and exhausted.

ZEN:   
will you tell me where im going now that im in the car??

“Aish,” Zen shook his head and let himself be taken by the huge, burly men to wherever this secret place was.

They drove for a long time and he couldn’t help worrying whether they’d have enough time to go back to Junghee’s home and get ready for the wedding. Jumin wasn’t partaking in any of the wedding activities, so at least they had the liberty of arriving at the last minute, but he doubts that’ll happen. Jumin is such a prissy guy that lives his life by the _minute_ , he would never be caught arriving late at his own sister’s wedding.

Speaking of, Zen wants to picture it but he can’t. The younger Han took him to the venue where the party will be, but if he remembers correctly Jumin mentioned the actual ceremony was taking place at the beach. Is… he going to be given clothes, or is he going to wear something he brought from Korea? For something as important as a wedding, no one shared details with him about it, and by no one he means Jumin since the older man is the one who should’ve at least talked to him about it.

Whatever. If anything goes wrong, he’ll just blame the guy. All he came to do was to look pretty by his side and piss off his parents, which he has accomplished as Chairman Han doesn’t seem to be too pleased with their fake relationship now turned real.

A mess, that’s what this family was. _A mess_.

“Mr. Ryu,” one of the bodyguards sitting in the back with him spoke, surprising him with Korean despite him being very… not Korean. He was a very big, blond dude. “We’ll arrive shortly.”

“You speak Korean so well!” He was impressed. Trust fund kid mentioned English classes, they don’t sound so bad now that he’s been here in America for almost two weeks.

The man, despite his intimidating poise, smiled at him and bowed his head slightly, impressing him even more. “Thank you sir, it was part of the requirement for the job.”

“Oh. Jumin wanted a bit of home, huh?”

“I believe it was for you sir, actually,” the man corrected him before looking away to check where they were.

Ugh, at this point Zen didn’t know if he should be flattered or insulted. He’d go with flattered just because Jumin does have the habit of overdoing it when it came to him. He’s stocked a car with bananas when he mentioned he wanted them, nothing would stop Jumin from having someone knocking on his door if he so much as mentions he’s hungry but doesn’t feel like going out to eat. That’s Jumin, extra in his own ridiculously rich and obnoxious kind of way.

“We have arrived,” the man spoke again, this time moving to open the car door for him and let him out.

“Where are we?” He asked curiously even though he could see they were somewhere up a mountain.

The bodyguard moved and stood by the car along with the others, ignoring his question and further irritating him. Why is everyone ignoring him? This was frustrating! He’s going to talk to Jumin about it--NO. No, he shouldn’t. Zen can already see the idiot making everything worse if he admits the little joke is annoying as hell.

The breeze up where they were was nice, the sun wasn’t as high up anymore but it was still bright as hell. He almost missed Jumin standing by a huge structure that looked suspiciously Korean, but thankfully the man liked being weird by constantly wearing a three piece suit so it made it easy for Zen to spot him eventually. “Jumin, where are we?” He asked as he approached the other. His heart began to beat so fast Zen felt himself smile at the thought of missing the other this much even though they were apart for mere hours. “Are you finally going to tell me why we’re here?”

Turning to acknowledge Zen with a look, Jumin smiled and said, “I discovered this place while looking for the perfect spot.”

Date spot. “What do you mean?” Zen blushed and looked away, taking the opportunity to enjoy the gorgeous views around them instead of Jumin’s face. Agh, he wanted to stare at that face so bad but he wasn’t going to give the CEO-in-line the satisfaction.

“I know how much you love sitting around on high places where you can see the city,” a true statement, “so I thought this place would be ideal for our date.” Zen remembers Jumin figuring out his favorite spot back home, and blushed even more at how stupidly romantic this was. Dammit, this was _his_ job, not Jumin’s! But truth be told, he didn’t mind the idea of both being romantic with each other.

Wait, date? As in, a _date_?

“You wanted to take me out on a date? Why didn’t you just say so?” And here he was thinking the guy was being irritating on purpose. “I got so angry when you ignored my messages!”

“That was the point,” Jumin stated flatly, forcing Zen to count to ten yet again. “Do you like it?” His tone softened and one of his hands reached out for one of Zen’s, erasing all annoyance flowing through his blood.

There was a very old, very big bell sitting in the middle of the pavillion, but the structure was very much Korean and the views were breathtaking even at this time of day. He can’t begin to imagine how nice it must look at night on a clear sky.

“This is the Korean Bell of Friendship,” Jumin shared as he pulled him close so they could stand side by side, arms brushing. Something was off, he could feel it.

Looking down at their shoes, Zen breathed in deeply before he gently moved Jumin until the two were looking at each other. “Spit it out,” he said without any animosity. Maybe he’s good at it in general, or maybe he’s good at reading Jumin, but Zen _knew_ the young director was mulling over something.

Dark eyes sharpened but didn’t avoid his own curious gaze. “How? How do you always know?”

Zen shrugged and gifted him a lopsided smile. “I don’t know, I just feel it. But what is it?” For a moment his breath left him as he gasped dramatically and asked, “is everyone back home okay!?”

Jumin simply frowned and nodded. “Yes, everyone’s fine. I just… there’s something I must tell you.”

Okay, this was quickly going from romantic to scary. Zen already has a problem with Jumin’s exaggerated seriousness, he doesn’t need to lose his mind whenever the man needs to tell Zen something. “Jumin, stop being cruel and just tell me, I don’t like suspense!” In the heat of the moment Zen let go of his hand in order to make a gesture of desperation.

“I need you to promise you won’t get too angry.”

Bitch said what? That gave him away _completely_ . This was obviously something bad, if not at least something that Zen would consider bad. _Did he forgive his dad and that’s why he thinks I’ll be upset?_ “I… can’t promise if I don’t know what it is.”

“Fair.” Jumin wasn’t budging, but he seemed to be thinking deeply about whatever this was. “Then do this for me, if what I tell you makes you feel strongly in a negative way, try looking at it from afar, as if you were sightseeing.”

“Jumin, babe,” Zen almost stuttered at that, “that makes no sense. Just tell me, you’re worrying me.”

The man stared at him again, very intently. “I thought the babe thing was a joke.”

Agh! “It was, but you know, sometimes I like using cute terms so you’ll hear them every once in a while.” Why is he stalling so much? This must be pretty serious. Jumin doesn’t stall, he just gets on with things the way Zen likes to do too. His stomach was sinking more and more, making him feel queasy.

“Hmm.” Impossibly dark eyelashes brushed down on cheeks, and even though Jumin was visibly calm Zen figured the guy must be nervous as hell.

As much as he wants to know what’s happening, he can’t just watch the serious man fidget with the sleeves of his shirt as if he were some nervous kid. Trying his best to be mature and not let his emotions get in the way, Zen grabbed Jumin by his shoulders and pulled him close until he could press his lips against the warm forehead. “Hey,” he said while moving to rest his own forehead against it, “you can talk to me. I’m not going to explode if that’s what you’re worried about.”

This relationship might be something completely new to Jumin, but Zen can’t deny the acknowledgment that the older man is enjoying it very much. He smiles more, he seems more at ease. His family stuff could be partaking in the changes, but Zen knows how much _love_ and _affection_ can influence a person’s overall demeanor and mind.

“How about this,” he says as he pulls back, “I promise I’ll count to ten and think before I react,” Zen thought the compromise wasn’t bad at all. At least it gives Jumin the chance to relax, and him the chance to, well, _not explode_. He’s not going to pretend everything about himself has changed. He’ll always be overly emotional and dramatic, but he can definitely learn to deal with Jumin who is practically nonemotional. The man does have the ability to get on his nerves quite like nothing else in the world.

He allowed the older man to take his time. There was no point in pushing, Jumin will talk otherwise he wouldn’t have brought it up. But Zen was nervous, was it bad? Does it have to do with their relationship? _Oh no_ , he gasped mentally. Are they going to have to break up? But the whole thing just started! They haven’t even left America--

“It’s about V’s death,” Jumin interrupted his inner monologue, stopping Zen dead on his tracks. “There’s something you don’t know about what happened that day, and I don’t want to keep secrets from you.”

So Jumin has been thinking about V and his death, Zen had a feeling about that. It’s incredible how the man lost the closest friend he’s ever had and still continued on with his life as if… well. In all honesty Zen has no idea whether the trust fund kid cried in the privacy of his own home when no one was around to lay eyes on him, or at least mourned his friend in any way, but it can’t be easy losing someone like that _forever_. V can’t come back to them.

“Know that the reason I kept this from you was because I wanted to--” After the pause, Jumin looked off to the ocean and Zen followed suit, not sure how to even feel. He was holding his breath, hoping to hear something mild or even laughable. “I thought I could protect everyone somehow. Me and Saeyoung thought we could--”

“Wait,” now he was even more confused. “Seven knows? Who else knows whatever you’re going to tell me?”

The way the other turned would’ve gone unnoticed by anyone, but not Zen. That is the look of _guilt_ if he knows it, but why is Jumin feeling guilty?

“Everyone that was there, me, and Jaehee.”

V’s death, it happened on the place they found Rika at. Saeyoung, his princess, that one weirdly attractive maid of Seven’s, and Saeran were there. “So basically everyone but me and Yoosung,” he deadpanned, questioning the reason why Jumin wouldn’t just say that. There was a little part of him that wanted to tell Jumin not to worry about it, not to stress himself by talking about his dead best friend, but now he was intrigued. What does everyone know that he doesn’t?

“V didn’t commit suicide.”

That… that was the secret. It must be. Jumin looks so uncomfortable, Zen has never seen him like that before. “Did Rika kill him?” He asked slow and clearly, letting his own thoughts run wild with what the statement could imply. Zen can’t say he would be surprised if that’s the case, the woman clearly suffers from some serious issues and V was--Zen can’t explain it. Ever since he met them he never felt entirely close with her even though she was one of his loyal fans. Jihyun, on the other hand, was a whole other story.

“...no--”

Oh my God. “Did _you_ have something to do with it?”

This question was a mistake because Jumin’s face got impossibly red from _anger_ at the mere suggestion that _he_ would have anything to do with his best friend’s death. “What could **possibly** make you think that!?” Despite all the arguments and disagreements they’ve had in the past, the young director has never raised his voice at him until now.

“Well, shit Jumin!” Zen spat back just as upset, “you’re not saying anything. Don’t get angry at me for jumping to conclusions when you’re the one not talking!”

Jumin closed his eyes and took a moment to calm down before his composure went back to how it always is, cool and collected. “You’re right,” he admitted. “You’re absolutely right.”

As happy as it would make him to hear Jumin admit he’s right in any other situation, right now Zen was dying to know the truth behind V’s death and why it was kept a secret. “What really happened?”

“That night a lot of things happened, that’s what I was told by Saeyoung and Momo. But you should know that V didn’t kill himself, Saeran shot him.”

What the fuck. _What the fuck_. Seven’t brother is a murderer? And he’s just living in his home, around his princess without anyone batting an eyelash? What the fuck! And not only that, why would Jumin lie about it and let him get away with that shit? Whatever Zen was about to say, he paused as he remembered Jumin’s words from moments ago. Both him and Seven were trying to protect--protect who, Saeran?

His legs felt weak. Zen leaned back on the cool, concrete structure and lowered his head in thought. “Why would he kill V?” There has to be a reasonable explanation, Jumin would never, he _would never_ protect his best friend’s killer otherwise. “Why did you lie to protect him?”

Moving to stand next to him, Jumin tried to find his gaze but Zen wasn’t sure he felt ready to look him in the eyes. There were so many conflicting emotions swirling through him. He can understand the big picture, Zen can stand there and think about it in a broad, clear way. Obviously the kidnapping, the discovery of Seven’s twin brother, Rika’s fake death, it had all been too much and everything happened too fast for anyone to wrap their mind around it properly given the circumstances.

“Long story short, it’s my understanding that Rika provoked him. She wanted Saeyoung to stay with her and that set Saeran off, and he blamed V for it all. Saeyoung didn’t want his brother to be linked to any of this.”

He didn’t get it. “But why would that upset Saeran?” Letting himself slide down to sit on the floor, Zen hid his face on his knees and thought deeper. He remembers, from what everyone has talked about the Choi twins, that V was supposed to take care of Saeran. Him and Rika were. They never heard of him until… And then… He must have _really_ hated both V and Seven if he pointed a gun at V and shot him dead.

“I wish I could tell you that, but it’s not for me to say. Saeyoung trusted me enough to give me the details when I asked, but you’ll have to ask him about that yourself.”

Zen will allow that only because he wouldn’t want his dark secrets to be divulged, not that he has any, but if he did. “Was that it?” Lifting his head, Zen looked up at Jumin who broke his serious expression by faintly smiling at him.

“Yes.”

Okay, alright. Taking a deep breath, Zen allowed it all to wash over him. Honestly, this wasn’t making him angry. He wasn’t even irritated or upset, he was sad that Jumin had to lie about V’s death and that he has to see his murderer every time they hang out at Seven’s place. “I don’t know why you thought this was going to upset me, I’m not upset.”

“To be honest, I thought you’d break up with me over this lie. It’s a big lie. You and V were good friends.”

“He was my number one stalker, yes, but we rarely talked, especially after Rika disappeared.”

Moving to sit down with him, which surprised Zen, Jumin reached over and grabbed one of his hands before pressing it against his lips. “He loved taking pictures of you. The man had three muses; the sun, Rika, and you.”

Maybe so, but Zen wasn’t particularly close with him. In fact, he was closer to Jumin.

“You know,” he muttered as he rested his head on Jumin’s shoulder, “this explains why you were so upset over Rika moving to Alaska.”

With a soft grunt, Jumin stiffened and clarified, “I was upset because you didn’t run it by me first and because no one knew of the address. She could be creating another cult somewhere in America for all we know.”

“It is _so_ unnecessary to joke about that right now,” Zen chastised him but eventually let it go with a soft chuckle. What is life if you can’t laugh at the crazy shit that goes on. It all feels so unreal anyway, maybe it’s the same to Jumin. “You gave me a mini heart attack. You and your family have a flair for the dramatic, it makes me feel a bit offended. I’m the actor here.” The three Han siblings have now made him think something must be wrong with his heart because how can it be this weak.

Sighing, Jumin leaned back making Zen lift his head off to look at him with a dopey smile. “I must admit I built up the suspense in my own head more than it was necessary. I genuinely thought this was going to be more devastating to you.”

“Our friend faked her death and built a cult from the ground up, forcing your best friend to mourn her along with us. Seven ended up having an evil twin brother who not only tried to harm my beautiful princess, but somehow outhack the guy by making her join the RFA… I can go on if you’d like, there’s a lot more of where that came from.”

The young director shook his head before he cupped Zen’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. “Kiss me instead,” he said between the slow, heartfelt pecks, “I was fearful of your reaction. The line that I have to walk now is very thin when it comes to messing with you.”

“You made such a big deal about making me believe you wouldn’t just up and leave me,” he teased softly, finding this honest and raw side of Jumin not only appealing but also tender and so real, “so why don’t you also believe me when I tell you I won’t just up and leave you.”

“What was that thing you mentioned before… You’re emotionally vulnerable--”

“Listen up, old man,” Zen meant business but this was simply too much fun. He _adores_ the fact that they can be like this, sincere and lighthearted with each other even after having a conversation as dark as V’s death. “I _am_ sensitive, okay, but not _stupid_. Why would I break up with you over something like that? Obviously it was more important for you to keep it a secret.”

Jumin stared at him for a moment. He looked pensive, and so handsome that all Zen wanted to do was to continue with the kisses they were sharing. That didn’t happen because Jumin blinked once, twice, then said, “you’re acting different than you normally do. Before this trip, if I had told you there was a secret we knew that you didn’t, you would’ve flipped a table in anger or thrown a tantrum.”

Oh, come on.

“If you had told me about the secret before this trip, you would’ve done it to piss me off, not to clear the air between us because we’re boyfriends.” _Take that, trust fund kid_ . Zen might be emotional and easily irritated by Jumin, but _he isn’t stupid_. “Don’t underestimate me, you asshole. Being in a relationship means we trust each other and we show the real us, well the real me is actually a very understanding, smart person.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say smart--”

“Oh my God, I _will_ smack you, Jumin.”

Jumin raised a hand as if to stop him from speaking further, and shook his head. “Already threatening me with violence, you’re such a wild little thing.”

 _There is nothing little about me_ , he thought with a raised eyebrow. “And you’re irritating as hell, but I’ll still go on this date with you because you happen to have a cute butt and a cute face.”

The two stood up, Zen aiding Jumin by pulling him up with him, then they smiled at each other as they patted their pants clean. “Superficial I see, maybe I should wear a paper bag on my head and see if you’d still love me. Call it an experiment.”

“What, are you saying you’re allowed to have ridiculously high standards but the second I do I’m superficial? Please.”

“ _Touche_ ,” the older man muttered.

Leaning forward, Zen narrowed his eyes and asked him, “are you sick? Why are you sneezing?” to which Jumin shook his head at him and laughed. Out loud, _a loud chuckle_ , Jumin laughed. “Hey, you should laugh more often, you look so _nice_ when you do.” So young and handsome, and utterly happy.

“Smart, you said smart,” Jumin kept talking but Zen wasn’t catching on so he simply took it as the cat loving fool having some sort of inner conversation with himself, not that he ever thought he’d see something like that. “Well, since you agreed to the date, let’s enjoy the last couple of hours left before the wedding.”

Only because Zen always wished he could do something like this, he reached down and grabbed Jumin’s hand in his so they could walk like that, holding hands. Despite constantly making faces and calling it cringy, Zen has always been jealous of Seven and Momo, and their cute, loving relationship. “I can’t wait to see your sister get married. Despite being here less than two weeks, I’ve grown fond of her. She’s such a nice girl.”

“I believe she’s grown fond of you too. I never thought you’d fit so nicely with my sister but you did and I’m impressed.”

Even though both started walking towards the bodyguards and the car waiting for them, Zen pulled on their connected hands and stopped the young director from taking another step. “What is it?” He asked with a bit of concern even though it was completely unnecessary.

“Why don’t we stay up here? I like it, I think this is the perfect spot for our first date.” The ocean and the city views were amazing, plus there weren’t people around (although he thinks Jumin had something to do with that). Frankly, Zen just wanted to enjoy some time with the man and not worry about anything else.

Shrugging, Jumin led them closer to the edge of the cliff and they stood staring at the ocean for some time, in complete silence. That is until Zen broke it by asking him about the bodyguards and what he was curious about earlier. “Hey, do the bodyguards sign privacy contracts, or do you think there’s a chance they could reveal our relationship to the public?”

“They do, so don’t worry. The second one of them reveals anything regarding my private life, they’ll be smacked with a lawsuit so big it’ll be impossible for them to pay it off in a lifetime.” Zen wasn’t aware such methods were necessary for people like Jumin to keep their private life private, but it’s impressive to hear it from his own lips. At least he won’t have to worry about it.

An itch on the back of his mind made him turn and slowly lean into Jumin so he could hug him and rest his head on his shoulder. This was nice, just the two standing on a cliff looking down at the world. A part of him still thinks this is all some strange dream, one he’ll wake up from once they’re back in Korea.

His body trembled a bit as he tried to keep a chuckle from coming out. “You know, I used to think I was so far away from your world I would never join it, but now look at us.” Jumin’s arms carefully wrapped around his body and the two relaxed into the embrace, enjoying the nice, warm breeze.

“If I’m being honest, my world or your world wouldn’t have stopped us from ever getting together. You were already part of mine after you joined the RFA, even more when you started taking my job offers. If I analyze this correctly, I’d say your attitude would’ve gotten more in the way.”

Zen smiled against the other’s shoulder before lifting his head and meeting Jumin’s eyes. He’s right, if anything would’ve gotten in the way it would’ve been _their_ sour attitudes, the constant need to be mean to each other for no reason (who is Jumin trying to convince he wouldn’t have been part of the problem?). “That’s true.” They were from different worlds, yes, but the reason they didn’t understand each other because they didn’t make an effort to _listen_ to each other. “And you know what,” he said before he raised his hands to grab Jumin’s face lovingly, “even though we’re mirrors of our pasts, I hope that the fact doesn’t stop our hearts from connecting so that we can understand each other’s reflections better.”

“You should look into writing a book.”

“Huh?” He was a bit confused with the statement. What does a book have anything to do with what they’re talking about. “What do you mean?”

Nodding, Jumin’s eyes hardened and in an instant Zen knew he lost him. “You’re a writer at heart. You should definitely look into a book, or even songwriting. You’d be amazing at it. People like connecting with the emotional things such as stories, or songs. You’d be in demand one way or another. My offer still stands if you want to join us under C&R management.”

“ _Hey!_ Can you focus on what I’m saying for a minute without drifting off into business-land!?” They were having such a beautiful moment, Zen was even thinking of something along the lines of Jumin being his one and only love forever because he feels it and why not tell Jumin, but no. This all turned into a conference with the CEO-in-line.

“I apologize,” Jumin muttered as he leaned to kiss Zen then said, “you may continue,” with a tiny smile. No doubt already mentally drafting all the possible proposals that will get him the bigger deal.

Zen can’t complain. He chose this, he did. Zen sat his ass next to him on that lounge chair and let the man kiss him. That’s why he simply let the moment go, they’d have many more in the future. This is what comes with Jumin, yeah? A mind filled with ideas for businesses and whatnot. Zen can’t relate, but he can live with it. He’s lived with worse.

“Speaking of secrets,” ominous, but this needed to be discussed mostly due to his own curiosity. He’s just so curious, Zen wants to understand what goes on in Jumin’s head, “are we telling the others about us? If so, when?” They’ve made it for two days, that’s a sign they can make this work. So much animosity between them, if real, would’ve made all the nice, warm, sweet feelings fizzle out by now. They’ve technically slept together multiple times now.

“We should probably say something before flying back home,” Jumin suggested by pulling his phone out and opening up the camera.

“Wait!” The poor phone was snatched off the man’s hand by him, but only because he doesn’t want Jumin to take a horrid photo of him and send it to everyone like he did before. “Let _me_ take care of this. You want to tell them with a picture?”

That was a cute idea, actually. Maybe one of them kissing. “Kiss me,” he demanded and the young director complied right away, leaving him with no time to even bring the phone up. “I meant for a picture, you idiot.”

“Hm,” Jumin hummed and quickly took his phone back, reaching up then intertwined his fingers with Zen’s so he wouldn’t take the phone away from him again. “No, I think that’s a terrible idea.”

Even though he had an argument on the tip of his tongue to rip into Jumin and what he thinks about his opinion on his ideas, Zen glanced down at their hands and got an even better idea.

The older man watched him pull his own phone out and shift their hands so they were resting on the fence, the one keeping them safe from the altitude of the hill, comfortably before he found the perfect angle and took the picture. Cute, very cute. This is the type of cheesy stuff he always dreamed of and fortunately Jumin didn’t seem to care about this photo. With a smile, Zen turned the phone over to Jumin and asked, “what do you think? Cute!”

All the other did was blink at him, but the lack of robot-like expressions indicated that he was pleased with what Zen did. “Is that what you’re showing them?”

“Oh, no, this is for my personal use. For the big reveal I was thinking of showing them a picture of you sleeping and drooling all over the pillow--”

“No the fuck you aren’t,” Jumin almost _yelled_ at him then violently janked his phone out of his hand, making Zen laugh uncontrollably.

“Ha! You’ll never find that picture,” because that picture doesn’t actually exist, but Jumin doesn’t need to know that. It’s what he gets for being so mean to him all these years. “Bedhead and everything. It’ll shatter whatever image they have of the perfect trust fund kid who never has a hair out of place--except for that one strand on the back of your head--”

“Zen, this isn’t funny, get rid of that picture.” It was humorous to see the composed man look so flustered. “You’re not allowed to take pictures like that of me.”

“Ah, excuse you! I happen to find this very funny. But also, why can’t I take pictures of you? You’re my boyfriend!”

Clearing his throat and fixing his tie, Jumin locked eyes with him and said, “if you’re going to use them to blackma--”

“Oh my God, you’re so dramatic.” Snatching his phone back from Jumin, Zen shoved it in his pocket and crossed his arms indignantly. “Why the fuck would I blackmail you for?” When the older man didn’t say anything, Zen humphed and shook his head at him. _That’s what I thought_.

“I’m in love with a vain, softie, brat. I’m sure that’s going to come back and bite me in the ass somehow.” Only petty insults were left, this was a sign that their argument has come to a closing.  “Just kidding. I know you wouldn’t blackmail me.”

“Yeah,” Zen agreed with a confident nod, “exactly.”

“You know I would run you down to the ground with my top of the line lawyers.”

This fucker.

Just because he felt like being melodramatic, Zen threw his hands up in the air as he turned away from the annoying man and yelled, “that’s it! This relationship is officially called off,” but he couldn’t help laughing when two hands grabbed him from his waist and stopped him on his tracks. “I’m serious,” he said between breaths.

“I guess you can walk back to my sister’s home then,” Jumin says as he holds on tight to him, almost a little too tight, but Zen didn’t mind it at all. He found the possessive thing _nice_.

This was lovely, Zen didn’t want their date to end. It might be unconventional, as Jumin put it when they talked about the relationship, but it was nice and comforting, and he felt at home being this way with someone else. With Jumin. It’s incredible that _mere days_ ago the two argued about sharing the bed, or Jumin had to pull his cute crap in order to convince him to come along. This trip started as something bothersome, but it ended up giving him a whole new attitude in life and an annoying, cat loving, possessive boyfriend. How can he not wonder if this is all a dream.

“Possessive bastard,” his words had no effect on the man because Jumin seemed to be having the time of his life as well. “Telling me to walk home but not letting me go. What is the truth, Jumin.”

There’s a chance he’ll never get tired of having the idiot act like he owns him. Zen doesn't need anyone to save him or protect him, he just wants to be himself and be loved for who he is. Unconditionally. His feelings are strong and when he loves, he loves fiercely. He's an angel who only sees love as the prize for life, he treasures it as the most precious possession. Zen wants love and affection, for it to be only his, he wants to _belong_.

Jumin let go of him and Zen was able to turn back around to look at his handsome face. There was a smirk adorning his usually stoic features, and Zen felt himself shiver at the thought of what it could imply. “The truth is, I decide when the relationship is over.”

Breaking away from the lazy embrace they had been in, Zen took a couple of steps back before slowly smiling and tilting his head at the young director. They still had about four hours before they needed to be ready for the wedding, might as well have some fun. The kind only children and free spirited people have. “It’s a deal only if you catch me without the help of your bodyguards, trust fund kid,” and in a moment Zen turned around on his heels and took off running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) they’re both pretty different when it comes to their public image, but with zen it’s understandable as he’s a public figure by choice (and that means you gotta play by the rules if you catch my drift)… jumin is by birth, so i think that’s why he wouldn’t care much.
> 
> 2) lmao of course jumin would plan a real date for them. Hear me out, this boy would because he knows zen is into that cheesy romantic stuff and he’d do anything for him. i promise.
> 
> 3) Can I just say that Jumin would 100% find every possible way to irritate Zen just because he loves the man’s reactions? (he already does in the game and after stories). He’s that type of controlling piece of shit. But that’s ok, zen loves him regardless, plus zenny is a stubborn little shit anyway so he’ll irritate jumin back.
> 
> 4) can we all please sit and discuss WHY Jumin thought it IDEAL to hide the truth from Zen and Yoosung? Can we? Because literally, l i t e r a l l y the reason everything went down in the story was because of secrets... he’s just repeating the same toxic shit Rika and V started and I’m not ok with that so im fixing that right here right now. (… birds of a feather flock together…i give jumin the side eye throughout all stories not gonna lie). Don’t get me wrong, i understand the whole Saeran being incriminated, etc, but… really? Was it necessary??
> 
> 5) Realistically I think Zen would take the truth of V’s death calmly. During everything happening in the game in different stories, he seemed riled up but also calm as hell. I don’t know how to explain it or if I interpreted what I mean properly, but I hope you guys can see what I mean lol
> 
> 6) It’s pretty clear that Jumin is a very fun, goofy person under all that seriousness. I think Zen is one of the people who bring out this side of him way more than normal. V was too serious and too caught up in his bullshit and I think that’s why Jumin was generally calm and still a bit serious with him. Anyway, yeah, yall can f i g h t me on this lol ｏ(≧▼≦○〃
> 
> 7) Zen calling Jumin a possessive bastard but loving it at the same time is my jam.
> 
> 8) bbys being cute and playful and just so themselves... im in love 
> 
> Hello beauties! I hope yall enjoy these last chapters, and I'm glad we all took this ride together because mah gah this game is just so.... dramatic and angsty and I LOVE IT. Still playing it, still impulsively paying $45 every time just to play their routes hahahahahaahahahaa ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway. Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement and nice comments. My surgery got denied once again, I'm still fighting for it though!!! I appreciate all your good wishes ♡♡♡♡♡, I hope yall have a wonderful weekend and a great end of semester if you're in school!


	14. When their love was all they needed to feel complete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding ended up being a tiny fraction of the many reasons Zen thinks this trip was the best thing that's ever happened to him in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, no excuse, I'M SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER. BUT HERE IT IS 61+ PAGES LATER AND IT'S ABOUT 30K WORDS LONG SO ENJOY
> 
> Reminder that I beta my own shit and I'm on lots of meds LOL so I apologize
> 
> -
> 
> Warning: mild sexual content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> -

The afternoon spent together with Hyun had been wonderfully insightful. Jumin finds it not simply fascinating but also incredible how easily the annoying brat finds his way through the tangled mess that are Jumin’s emotions, only to come out triumphant without letting him destroy the little bit of peace he has in his life. In any other scenario, Jumin would’ve found it and would’ve already thought it a mistake to be in a relationship. Zen thinks his baggage is the biggest obstacle? Try Jumin and the emotions he’s suppressed for the entirety of his life. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, he’s just _doing it_ . ‘Going with the flow’. ‘Living a little’. It’s been hard, Jumin doesn’t _go with the flow_ , but so far it’s worked and neither have exploded into an uncontrollable, unbearable fight. This has to be a sign that maybe, just maybe he’s finally ready to believe in love and be happy.

Hyun makes him _happy_ . In his company, for a mere week and some, Jumin has found himself flourishing as a person and he can’t wait to find out what else is there to discover. About himself, about how he sees the world. Everything is so different when he’s not trapped inside his own mind trying to make sense of the ignored, unresolved feelings that have been brewing there from the beginning of his consciousness. Nothing, not even Elizabeth has made him feel this good, this _alive_.

Life has been an emotional long and arduous ride for him. His parents’ divorce, his horrid stepmothers, all the girlfriends he saw his father bring home through what seemed to be a revolving door of mock-up sentiments and promises. The many years Jumin spent so alone, so afraid of being disappointed and used by others. All the tumultuous times he lived through along with when his father tried to force the arranged marriage on him left a deep, dark mark on him. He never thought he’d see past it, past the loneliness _all of that_ birthed in him.

What could Jumin possibly do to repay Hyun for the peace he brings him, the emotional stability he never imagined he’d ever attain, he’d ever have handed to him so easily (even though that’s something he’s used to), but to offer his unwavering, undivided devotion?

Jumin is more than ready to give Zen anything he wants from him.

Something doesn’t sit well with him though, and truth be told, it doesn’t dampen this new light he’s been bathed with, but he finds it important to single out--to keep in mind. It’s all going to be a secret, they’re not going to live together anytime soon. He knows the younger man is going to have a hard time keeping their relationship on the downlow. He isn’t like Jumin, he doesn’t _prefer_ to be alone, especially when there is someone he can be with, Jumin knows that Zen isn’t fond of the idea of being apart unnecessarily, just like himself. But he _has_ to do it because of his career. The young artist has poured his mind and soul into building it for a long time now. He isn’t going to allow something that might or might not work tumble it all down.

This is the one thing he _can’t_ give Zen. He can’t hand him the peace that everything will be okay if they slip up, there’s no way of knowing. And dammit if that doesn’t bother Jumin to no end. He hates not having control of that, and he hates having to share Zen like this.

Jumin frowned at his own reflection on the mirror he was standing across from. It’s defeating, _frustrating_ to know he can’t marry Hyun. Unfortunately this wasn’t something he could fix with money, it was politics and he didn’t like his name and company mixed with them, he wasn’t a politician. At least, if married, Jumin wouldn’t have to think so much about the fact that he no longer finds Zen’s career something of mild interest. It’s been important for a while, but now more than ever it’s a _very_ important interest, Jumin doesn’t like to share, not like that. He wants Zen to be his and he wants everyone to know it. Jumin’s taste is marvelous. He’s never shied from showcasing anything he loves, Elizabeth has been admired by everyone he holds close to his heart. Zen isn’t the exception, he is _in love_ with him.

To his displeasure, a part of Zen belongs to the public and probably always will. And that part will never be his.

Truthfully, Jumin never thought he’d feel this strongly about someone else, let alone the annoying musical actor. It’s going to be a personal struggle to get around the fact that Zen is a public figure other people love and admire. But God, he wants him all to himself. Jumin is a man of incredible taste _and_ simple interests, and the younger man happens to be most of them. Zen is honest. He’s very determined and driven. He isn’t interested in Jumin’s fortune nor his social status. He’s so… genuinely loving and caring, and it’s sickening because Jumin wants all of that love and care for himself, _he wants it all._

“What did the mirror do to you!?” Zen came up from behind, pulling on the soft linen clothes Jumin had prepared for the wedding. “Is everything okay?” His arms wrapped around Jumin’s waist and he rested his chin on his shoulder while staring at Jumin’s reflection. Jumin felt absolutely no shame leaning back on his sturdy form, enjoying the way a simple touch like this could melt any distress and make him feel so loved.

“You’re aware it’s going to be incredibly difficult to keep the relationship a secret, right? We’re both followed around everywhere, and you’re most likely going to pick a new place to live far away from mine.” Zen’s smile faltered, worrying Jumin. It’s not like he intends to bring negative thoughts to light just to annoy the younger man (he had made a point to tell Zen not be so pessimistic after all). Jumin does it because these thoughts bother him and he’d like to have enough reasons to not be bothered by them.

Thankfully the arms around him only pulled him closer to Zen and not further away. “I know… and I wish things weren’t this complicated. Had you been a girl, I would’ve told the entire world about you, but we have to do this properly. I don’t--I--It’s very selfish of me,” Zen sighed and closed his eyes.

“It really isn’t. I think it’s a smart business move considering your career.” And Zen’s said it before anyway, Jumin understands, as hard as that is to believe.

“The thing is, I _really_ don’t want to pick. I want to have both you and my career.” Pulling back, Zen turned him around and moved to kiss Jumin’s forehead. Something he finds _cute_. Soft forehead kisses are something the younger man is fond of, he’s observed. Zen was muscular, a grump, to simple eyes a bit intimidating with his serious face and constant frowning, but in reality he was such a softie. His softie. “My happiness depends on both.”

At this point they were beating a dead horse. “I want you to have both as well, I would never ask you to pick,” which is the same way Zen doesn’t ask Jumin to pick. This could easily be flipped on its head and have Jumin be the one to decide, except the selfless idiot would never ask that of him. “Just know that if I could lock you up in my home and keep you there to myself, I would.”

Raising an eyebrow at his statement, Zen shook his head in disbelief before turning away and continuing doing what he was doing with his hair. Jumin already missing the weight and the heat of his arms. “I didn’t think you could get worse, but the more you talk the weirder you get. That sounds a lot like kidnapping, and I’m not down for it.”

“I would break the law for you, you don’t think that’s romantic?”

Chuckling, Zen playfully extended his foot to kick Jumin’s leg and said, “I guess that’d be romantic to a weirdo like you.”

“No matter how much dislike you show, you love the ‘weirdo’ in me.”

“As long as you admit it!” He technically just did but whatever. Jumin wasn’t going to defend himself over nothing. He isn’t weird, he’s just… very _intense_ when it comes to his feelings. That’s something he discovered during the arranged marriage fiasco and he would love to never think or relive those moments if it were up to him.

It’s all behind him now. His father might not have gotten the point or learned his lesson, but he will at some point in the future and Jumin will finally get an honest apology from him. Until then, he’d like to live a happy life loving and irritating Zen.

“You know,” the other mused, this time from the spot he was sitting on the bed, hair perfectly styled and looking like some of the princes Jumin’s met on business trips before, something he’ll never reveal as to prevent the enormous ego to grow even larger. “The more casual look fits you so well. You look so young! No one would think you’re older than me.” When Jumin approached him and stood between his legs, Zen pulled on the dark blue linen shirt he was wearing and felt the fabric between his fingers.

He’s one to talk, about casual looks fitting his image. “No one ever thinks you’re as young as you are. I suppose all that leather and black clothes give you a more mature image.”

The flat look he received made him smile. “Take the compliment without trying to find a way to annoy me, please and thank you.” How cute, being thought as older is taken as an insult. There was a time Zen thought he was older than Jumin.

Both stood like that, Jumin looking down at Zen and Zen looking up at him, as if they didn’t need to hurry up and get going. His sister’s wedding can wait a minute. It was as if Zen wanted to say something but he couldn’t let it out. “Yes?” He asked, keeping himself from brushing back silky, silver hair as that would bring misfortunes to him. If he’s precise, the musical actor spent an entire hour fixing it. Vain, but very much loved by Jumin.

“Jumin,” he pleaded breathily, in a way that made Jumin shiver from how meaningful his name sounded, “you have Hyun, you’ll always have Hyun. My fans don’t know who Hyun is, they only know Zen. It sounds crazy saying it out loud, putting it this way, but that’s the truth and I can’t think of any other way to explain it. You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of. I--I never thought I’d be _Hyun_ again, but you changed that and he’s all yours. _I’m_ all yours.”

Well, that deserved a kiss. A sweet, sincere confession like that one can sway even someone like Jumin. _Especially_ someone like Jumin. With words Zen was able to squash whatever insecurities or whichever term best described his wily thoughts. The younger man was able to make them disappear. The other’s warm hands brushed Jumin’s skin lovingly and he felt his heart swell so much his chest hurt. This must be what they mean when they say love is painful, he had to agree with that common belief.

“Answer something for me,” Zen whispered against his lips before letting go of him and leaning back on the bed. “Where is everyone? The house seems to be empty.”

“They all went to the lobby on the property to prepare for the wedding.” They had the option to go along but Jumin didn’t want to be anywhere near his bickering parents, that was surely enough stress for her sister and adding to it wasn’t going to help anyone. “Let’s get going. We’re not taking part on the ceremony but I’d like to not be late to my sister’s wedding. That’s just tacky.”

Zen raised his eyebrows at him but kept whatever sassy comment he had prepared to divulge, to himself. Good. It was time to get this over with, do what he came to do and for them to go back home and start their new life together. Hopefully a more exciting, better life (something he thought to be a near impossible feat as his life couldn’t have possibly been better, what a fool).

Not surprisingly, the musical actor complained about the bodyguards riding along with them in the car, but Jumin tuned him out most of the time to check up on the update Yoosung had for him about Elizabeth. He misses her very much. Even though he wishes nothing more than to remain like this with Zen, both in their own little world, Jumin can’t wait to go back to his precious cat and pet her gorgeous white fur, and have her meet Zen for the first time. To the office, to catch up on everything that got held back because of his absence, and the many meetings he’ll have with all the board members along with their individual committees.

Reaching over, Jumin gripped Zen’s hand and brought it over to his lap so he could sit back comfortably for the rest of the ride. It was exciting to go back home and have a completely different expectation of reality. Things were going to be very different, very new, and Jumin _couldn’t wait_.

“You’re in a good mood,” Zen moved over to whisper, a smirk stretching across his face, “I’ll keep in mind the power kisses hold over you.”

Jumin couldn’t help a blush. He pushed Zen with his elbow but before he could think of anything to say, the car stopped and the two arrived at the beach property. “It’s not just kisses,” he ends up confessing, feeling impotent at the face of his feelings for the man. “It’s you.” And that’s a fact. He’s always had the power, Jumin can’t remember a time he didn’t find it hard to stop smiling after chatting or even arguing with Zen.

That shut the other up immediately but not in a bad way. Zen sported the prettiest blush so far, along with a dazed look on his face, and Jumin thought he could never get tired of it, of making him feel that way. Like he simply couldn’t move on past the words coming out of Jumin’s mouth because they meant so much to him.

Jumin was tantalized, but then again, when was he ever not whenever it came to the nagging brat.

“Darling,” his mother greeted them when they stepped into the big, open lobby of the glamorous building. There were people being led by employees of the place down to a hall that led to the back area of the property, the one connected to the beach. “I’m happy to see you both. It’s been a rough last couple of days, but your lovely faces have cheered me up.”

“Mother,” Jumin nodded and let her come up to him to place a kiss on his cheek. She moved on and did the same to Zen, who took it warmly along with a quick hug. Jumin watched curiously for the few seconds the interaction lasted, as his mother’s hand caressed the younger man’s cheek a little longer and a bit warmer. “Where’s Junghee?”

“She’s waiting in the room where she’ll walk out of. Will I see you both tomorrow before you leave?” The question stoke a chord in him, one he didn’t know he had.

With a soft smile, Jumin approached his mother and held her arms as he nodded, “of course. We’ll make sure to say goodbye to you and Juwon. Don’t worry.”

“I’m glad. Now,” she looked at both of them with her own smile, “go on, go greet your sister. She’s very nervous.”

Jumin glanced at Zen before they were told where this room was. “Why would she be nervous,” he voiced instead of just think like he usually does. “It’s her wedding, she planned the whole thing.”

“Jumin,” Zen chuckled at him, “it doesn’t matter whether she planned the wedding or not. This is important to her, she’s going to promise to spend the rest of her life with Charles no matter the circumstances. That’s a big promise. It’d make anyone nervous. Besides,” reaching for him, Zen grabbed Jumin’s hand and stopped them both so he could look into his eyes, “wouldn’t you be a bit nervous if you were to promise your love to your soulmate forever?”

He stared into the other’s red eyes, thinking that sure, maybe he would be a bit nervous if that were the case. “I don’t believe in soulmates,” was all he could mutter to get away from the can of worms he didn’t want to open because no matter how much he wishes he could, Jumin can’t marry Zen as long as they’re in Korea.

Zen gave him a pointed look but instead of ignating an argument, he signaled for Jumin to go on ahead like they were walking moments ago. “You’re impossible. But that’s okay, I’ll teach you all about the good things in life.”

“Such as...”

“Such as believing in more important, more beautiful things rather than vampires and ghosts.”

Considering the younger man has already accomplished guiding Jumin down the right path when it comes to his emotions, he didn’t see it as a challenge for Zen. It’s not like Jumin won’t listen to him. It turns out that listening to Zen every once in a while can lead to good things, _very_ good things.

“Hm.” They’ll just have to wait and see.

The two ended their treck in front of huge wooden doors worthy of being in a palace. Makes sense, his sister, despite her laid back attitude has a very sophisticated taste. Her home is proof of that. Zen watched him knock on the door, then they heard a soft scoffle behind it before his sister’s voice traveled through it.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Hyun,” Zen replied before Jumin could even open his mouth, giving him a confident smile, “and your brother. We came to see how pretty you look!” Which wasn’t entirely untrue. He was curious to see his own sister be ready for her wedding. Jumin has attended weddings before, all of them pertaining to work. This was different.

When the door opened, Junghee greeted them with big, sparkly eyes and a wide smile. She looked _so happy_ , it stirred Jumin’s feelings for her. Back when he was a child, he remembers his sister being born, he remembers her coming home and laying on her crib staring up at him. There weren’t many memories of her after that, but now they get to pick up, and what a place to pick up.

This trip almost didn’t happen, mostly due to his father’s inability to let him make his own decisions regarding his personal life, but thankfully it did, thankfully things went down the way they did. Jumin couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome. A boyfriend, a mother, and siblings; the treasure he found at the end of the rainbow that started over a ridiculous and mischievous plan to get back at his parents. Ironically, that lasted about two seconds before the remaining time of the trip revolved around everything else.

“Brother! Hyun! I’m so happy to see you both. I’ve been here all day getting ready… I’m nervous,” she gasped as she giggled probably due to the nerves. “This is nerve wracking!”

“You look stunning,” Zen shared as he took in her dress. Jumin watched him for a moment before he too took a look at his sister’s gown. The dress was long but not voluminous. The silky fabric flowed down her form in a mix of white and silver, and the lace top made her look so delicate and beautiful. “Like a princess. Hey, you have nothing to be nervous about.”

Yes, like a princess. “He’s right,” Jumin agreed and looked up to see Junghee’s bridesmaids staring at Zen with wide eyes and red faces from behind her.

When Junghee caught up with him, she turned around and sighed. “I forgot you guys weren’t introduced at the bridal party.” Waving her hand at them, Junghee called them over with a smile. “Girls this is Jumin, my older brother. And this is Hyun, his boyfriend. These are Alex, Tess, and Marie.”

“Oh my God, he’s so beautiful…” One of them, the one with the pretty blonde curls, whispered in English breaking the atmosphere by making Junghee and the other two girls laugh. “Can I have a picture with him?”

The other two friends came up rapidly and begged her the same thing, “me too! Can I? It’d look great on my Infragram!”

“No,” Jumin replied immediately but the girls already had their phones out and their intentions were pretty clear to the musical actor regardless of the language barrier.

“Do they want pictures?” Zen asked him, and Junghee stepped back from them most likely to avoid being in the middle of an argument. “They look like they want pictures. This happens all the time,” he explained.

“You know, I’m not surprised,” Junghee sighs before motioning for him to do his thing. Jumin watched him go stand by the windows and sighed along with her. _It’s going to happen, let it go_. “Brother, I wanted to talk to you. I’m sorry,” she says as she bows in apology, confusing him.

Blinking, Jumin asks, “what exactly are you sorry for?” Seeing her rub her hands together in worry was... cute. His sister was young, a fact hard to remember sometimes. There is nothing she should feel sorry for, she hasn’t done anything to him that would warrant an apology.

“I didn’t set apart a role for you in my wedding. I would’ve loved for you to be a part of it, you know, more than to just attend it.”

Oh. Now he understands why the apology. Jumin doesn’t understand why that would matter, but he can see why it would matter to her. “It’s not like we were close before this trip, so I wouldn’t worry about it.” And he means it, Jumin isn’t going to hold it against her or anything ridiculous like that.

The happy expression that took over her face made it worth saying that. In a flash she was laughing and holding onto his arm tightly, pulling him along so they could step away from her group of friends. “Thank you, Jumin! I appreciate those words. I’m very happy you took the two weeks off to come here and spend time with me as _family_. I finally feel like I have an older brother.”

This trip gave him something far superior than the money he would’ve made back home, so really, the one thankful here is him. “I’m happy too,” he smiled softly.

A beat of silence was shared between them as the two looked out the window, down to where the wedding was taking place. There were people walking down, taking their seats, getting ready to see his sister marry. Junghee holds onto his arm tighter and hugs it to herself before she says, “Juwon… I’ll take care of him from this point on, you do the rest when you’re ready to accept him in Korea,” softly.

Jumin nods, letting himself relish the incredible feeling going through him despite all the family issues still weighing on him, because for once in his life he feels like his family could finally be that, a family. Junghee and their mother have come around and are willing to work together to finally bring them out of whatever hole they had been in.

“He showed improvement when I visited him earlier. Didn’t even complain once about me taking over his trust fund.”

“You don’t know this and he’ll kill me if he finds out I said anything, but he’s always admired you. From afar… Juwon always looked up to you, tried hard to do what you did, maybe to see if that would make Father pay attention to him.”

It makes sense. Hate isn’t born out of nothing, you can’t just hate someone without having a reason to, an emotion to feed it off of. “Has Mother told you?”

Junghee’s long eyelashes brushed against her cheeks as she closed her eyes. “She has. Mother told me earlier this morning. It doesn’t change anything.”

Imprudent considering today was her wedding, but at least their mother got it off her chest.

“No,” he agreed then moved a hand to touch the one she was gripping his arm with, “it doesn’t.”

“Hey,” pulling back from him, Junghee let go of his arm so she could wrap hers around his shoulders and stare into his eyes. “We got this,” she cheered softly, possibly trying to uplift his mood even though his mood was as high as it could be. She’s still new at reading him. “We’re Hans, we’re good at a lot of things, we’ll be great at taking care of our own. It’s never too late.”

And she isn’t wrong. Both shared an identical smile, in more than just one way.

“Um, Jumin…” Zen approached them as he raised a hand to make the other young women stay behind, evidently trying to get away from them. “I don’t know what they’re saying, they speak too fast, I took plenty of pictures--”

“Okay girls!” Junghee clapped her hands once and then fisted them in front of her chest, as if she were ready to fight. “Let’s finish this up. The wedding will start very soon!” When her friends scattered to grab things and bring them over so they could help her finish her look, Junghee turned and winked at them.

Nodding once, Jumin grabbed Zen’s hand to pull on him and walked out of the room. They needed to get going anyway, there were about, he swiftly glanced at his watch, ten minutes left before the wedding ceremony would begin.

“Your sister has very pretty friends,” Zen commented but Jumin ignored it because one, he knows, and two, he doesn’t care to know whether Zen finds them attractive. They might have had their talk about the issue earlier, but his jealousy was something Jumin couldn’t control that easily. Not yet. Maybe with time… Anyway, he digresses. “Don’t be so jealous, I’m starting to _like_ it.”

Stopping midway, Zen almost ran into him but thanks to his quick reflexes he stopped right on time to give him a questioning look. Air escaped his lungs as Jumin stared into his eyes with determination. What was he determined on? Who knew, he simply felt the urge to--Glancing both ways down the hall to make sure no one was coming, Jumin slowly pushed Zen back so he could kiss him against the wall. It wasn’t a bruising kiss, rather a very deep but gentle way of reminding him who he belongs to.

His fingers brushed the musical actor’s neck as he mouthed, “please, refrain from letting people take pictures of you,” against his lips, against his warm skin. He doesn’t like it, it makes Zen seem like some sort of _thing_ to be ogled at.

Blinking, Zen remained silent for a moment before he pushed Jumin back with a laugh. “Jumin, I was only being nice about it because they’re your sister’s friends. That’s all.” And now he probably looks like an asshole since that was a valid excuse that made a lot of sense. At least he got to taste his lips again. If it were up to him, they’d never stop kissing. “I don’t like people taking pictures of me or with me unless they’re my fans. _Real_ fans. Besides… you have no problem me being photographed for your company... “

“That’s different.” The look Zen gave him spoke volumes on what he thinks about what Jumin thinks. No, it’s not because it makes him money even though that would’ve been his immediate answer, it’s because he’s in control of it all.

In his own twisted mind, Jumin knows he should see something wrong with the way they’re both willing to push and pull, yet he chooses not to. There’s nothing wrong with how he feels, just like there’s nothing wrong with how Zen feels. And as long as both are okay with it, anyone else’s preconceived notions of how the dynamic of their relationship should be is worthless. This, between them, this was beautiful. The most beautiful thing Jumin has ever possessed in his entire life.

Zen may very well be his _soulmate_. Somehow, someway, it all works. He’s scared and the other makes him feel safe. He’s angry and the other calms him. He’s jealous and the other placates the fiery coal burning in the pit of his stomach. He lets Jumin be himself, at the same time he doesn’t ignore him, even if it’s to tell him his jokes aren’t funny. That’s very meaningful, it means Jumin isn’t some prop he’s trying to maintain, not that he ever thought Zen was interested in Jumin in that particular way, that’s been proven false over the years they’ve known each other.

The point is… The point is that this might actually not be as difficult as he originally thought it to be. That maybe even though they might be apart often, and Zen might choose to live far from him, they could make it work just fine. That’s the point of people being soulmates, whether romantic or platonic. They always meet each other in the middle, and he will meet Zen in the middle, always.

“I know about soulmates,” he blurts as he steps back and fixes the younger man’s clothing, the soft fabric rumpled due to how close he got, nothing more even though he wishes it had been because of something more.

“Huh?” Zen frowns in confusion at the sudden turn, and stares after him as Jumin walks forward a couple of steps. “What are you talking about?”

Rolling his eyes, Jumin reached back with his hand and urged the other to take it. When will _anyone_ learn to follow his train of thought? If they’re going to be together forever, then Zen better get on it because he isn’t about to spend the rest of his life hearing ‘huh?’ every time he says something out of the blue.

“Let’s go. The faster we get through the ceremony the faster the reception starts,” with a wider smile, Jumin gave Zen a look and added, “and the faster we get to be alone, away from all these people.”

Shaking his head, Zen opened his mouth but Jumin, again, chose to ignore whatever was coming out of it. “That’s not how it works, I’m pretty sure that isn’t how this is going to work.”

 

~

 

The view where the ceremony was taking place was breathtaking. The two walked down a gorgeous nature path down to the prettiest beach Zen’s ever been to. It was groomed and set up to look as if it were some romantic scene straight out of a movie. _Charles is a movie director_ , he reminded himself as he stared in awe at everything. From the tasteful faint green and white roses, to the elegant, curved way the seating was arranged so everyone could have a great view of the podium Junghee and Charles will be standing on. Junghee had an eye for decorating. She mentioned she studied architecture, maybe she went down an interior design path, if not she definitely should.

Both took their seats by the front where Jumin’s mom was already sitting, looking incredibly uncomfortable just a few sits from Ara, Chairman Han’s girlfriend. He waved at her as he walked by, not wanting to be rude since she already feels uncomfortable around Jumin (and the rest of the family). Gaeul was watching him do this, and to Zen’s surprise the first thing the older man did was take his mom’s hands in his and give her a warning look. That was… Wow, that was new and _nice_. He didn’t think he’d ever be nice to Ara. The trip has been the most beneficial for Jumin, he can already easily tell. He’s more warm, but also more out of his shell. Before, he would’ve never touched anyone like that, not even his own family. Let alone to, in a way, protect his dad’s girlfriend. He knows because that’s exactly how things went down when they first arrived; they were all superficially cold with each other and so nasty to Ara who didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

This makes Zen happy. If he could change something about his past with Jumin, it’d be having such negative thoughts about him. Despite their differences, he’s never genuinely wished wrong upon Jumin. He did joke a lot about it while frustrated with the dense man, but other than being petty Zen never wished true misfortune on him. It’s not who he is. But he wishes he had been more kind to him, there was potential for the other to be a very sweet person, there _is_.

Seeing Jumin be so relaxed around his mom made his heart palpitate for him. They’re boyfriends now, this directly affects Zen whether Jumin wants it to or not. They’re _family_ , more than ever.

He can wish him so many good, positive things now.

Not long after that, lights that decorated the space around them along with the path he assumes the bride will walk down, lit up making everything look like a dream as the sun began to set off to the side. Music slowly started playing, quieting everyone down, and Charles walked out from off the side to step on the podium accompanied with his mother, three other guys, and a priest.

He’s never attended a Korean wedding before, let alone a western one. Everything was exciting, mostly because he’s always thought of himself being in Charles’ position many times in the past. And while he recalled thinking to himself that the best wedding in the world was the only thing worthy of coming along with Jumin on the trip, Zen had to bite his pride and take back his words because nothing, not the best wedding in the world could top his newfound love for Jumin and how fucking worthy it was.

Pulling a memory from the back of his mind, Zen grinned to himself and leaned over. “You should cosplay for our wedding, wear a gown and everything,” he whispered in Jumin’s ear, trying to rile him up and get him to be all indignant about it.

Without missing a beat, Jumin leaned over and whispered back, “cosplaying means pretending, and our wedding wouldn’t be a pretend wedding,” missing the entire teasing point Zen tried to make, yet simultaneously melting his heart even more with yet another romantic confession. He couldn’t even follow up on the joke or try to make the young director understand it because Zen was left speechless once more.

 _How in the hell does he do it!?_ The man was so irritating, all Zen wanted to do was poke some fun at him. Jumin always twists everything to his convenience, even pulling romantic things from out of nowhere.

It was real, and by _real_ he means insanely intense, to talk about their wedding as if it were a fact. As if they could even dream of it (unless they move to a different country and make it a reality that is). But Jumin was definitely _not_ joking when he said he wanted to marry him. Not that he thought he was joking, but… again, so _real_.

His thoughts drifted away from Jumin the moment everyone stood up and Junghee’s friends began to walk down the lighted path down to the space around the podium, each taking a stand paralleling the one Charles’ groomsmen did when he first came out. It occurred to Zen that the reason Chairman Han was absent was because he was walking Junghee down the aisle, and the second he glanced further back on the line of women, he saw them approaching a bit slower. Oh, it makes sense, that’s why Jumin was warning his mom when they first sat down.

Anyone would’ve called it overstepping boundaries, but Gaeul must be boiling with anger on the inside seeing her daughter be walked down the aisle by the man that wasn’t what one would generously call a _decent dad_ , so he overpassed Jumin in order to touch her arm and silently ask to let him hold her hand. The look she gave him was that of shock, but not a second later she caught on and flashed him a gentle smile before going back to the beautiful moment being laid out in front of everyone.

Zen grinned the moment Charles’ face changed when he was able to see Junghee walking to him. He’s seen countless of romantic movies, he’s _acted_ countless of romantic scenes, but nothing beats seeing it live, real, and so up close. This was a really cool experience. A tiny itty bitty piece of him felt involuntarily jealous.

When they sat back down, Gaeul pulled her hand back to not bother Jumin who was sitting between them, but the older man didn’t miss the opportunity to grab it himself and give it a kiss. Jumin’s come a _long, long_ way. He’s so, so sweet, yet he never made a point to show it this way, until now that is.

His eyes drifted back and forth between the ceremony and Jumin. All Zen could do was stare at him sit all elegantly on his chair, by his mom. It wasn’t his intention to seem rude as the wedding so far was very beautiful and Junghee looked radiant and so, _so_ happy. This was all in English and he had no idea what was going on. Zen couldn’t help getting lost in his own mind, thinking about Jumin and _them_ . How on _earth_ did he end up falling in love with him? They were still butting heads mere weeks ago. _Weeks_. The fact that this trip acted as a catalyst in their relationship was insane looking back on it. They haven’t left but there’s already so much to reflect on. Zen doesn’t want to think about the very real possibility of him having said no when Jumin invited him to come along on his drunken revenge plan.

This man… Zen can’t help the way his heart jumps up every time he sees those lips curl in a polite smile, or the way his shirt brushes against his elegant, delicate neck. They’re sitting surrounded by all these people who see this Jumin, but when he glances over and catches Zen’s eyes on him, the dark eyes soften and the smile is more sincere, he falls in love more with the Jumin _he’s_ shown. Past Hyun would’ve never imagined that the guy he scoffed at and pushed away the second he flashed his money and status at him, would be the guy that makes his eyes want to water in happiness.

What a crybaby, ugh. But Zen can’t help being a sensitive soul.

He’s so in love. He’s never felt like this, like the rest of the world becomes a blur and the only beacon of peacefulness, emotional stability, and safety narrows down to this childish, annoying man. Past Hyun never believed there was indeed a light at the end of the cold, sad, lone tunnel he found himself trapped in for years and years. He knew others could see it, but he never thought he would. Keeping a positive outlook helped immensely, but that’s as much as he was able to do.

“What’s wrong?” Jumin asks softly as the ceremony continued in the background.

Zen shakes his head and breathes in deeply as he squeezes Jumin’s hand in his. “Nothing’s wrong. Just thinking.”

He’s gone for Jumin. Getting back he’s going to straighten things up a bit so he can start planning things around the times he wants to see the older man. Both are busy but Zen is going to take the extra step without being asked to so they can see each other as often as possible. He wants to be around Jumin all the time, even if it means them sitting in the same room doing their own thing.

With that determination in mind, Zen’s attention went back to the ceremony, and him along the rest of the Han’s sans Juwon watched as Junghee married the love of her life. He could feel Chairman Han’s eyes on him at random moments, but he ignored them in favor of enjoying the moment.

At this point he didn’t know where he stood with the old man, and he hoped to the heavens that he never gets to talk to him because Zen doesn’t think he can hold back his tongue. Even though he ‘apologized’ and Jumin was going to forgive him (if he hasn’t already), Zen doesn’t care about what he thinks or believes about him. Unlike Jumin, Zen doesn’t allow himself being pushed around or swayed for the benefit of family. God, he wishes he could go up to him and tell him his truths, tell him how very real Jumin’s pain is.

A shake of his hand brings him back to reality and he realizes that the bride and the groom are now exchanging rings. Dammit. He doesn’t mean to get distracted but he can’t help thinking about everything that’s overpowering his mind. He supposes that as long as Gaeul and Jumin were enjoying the moment, then it doesn’t matter whether he gets a bit distracted thinking about his own fantasy of giving the old man some lip.

It wasn’t long before they were all standing and clapping after Junghee very lovingly got picked up by Charles right before they sealed the deal with a kiss and a dangerous turn that made people around them gasp. They were too cute. For someone as cheesy as himself, that was adorable and he’s glad he has no excuse to pretend he finds it cringy. Now that he can do that to Jumin whenever he wants, he feels like he can let others enjoy being lovable without him feeling so bitter. He should surprise the man one day like that just to witness the bitching that would surely follow, _if_ the other finds it irritating enough to bitch. Something tells him Jumin is just as cheesy as him.

“Hyun,” Jumin interrupted him once again by touching his arm to get his attention, “you’ve been very distracted. I know you don’t understand what’s going on… Are you feeling okay?”

The slight worry in his eyes made Zen feel nice and warm. The young director has always been caring, but it was a whole world of an experience to see that care being developed right before his eyes. Jumin’s still thinking about the accident. The bruise on the side of his head has practically healed, the only discoloration left was under his hair but it not longer hurt or gave him headaches, he knows how worried Jumin is about the accident and his injuries, so he wasn’t going to lie and blame his spaciness on that. “I’ve just been thinking a lot, that’s all. It’s not the injury, I’ve honestly felt fine since the morning we woke up outside.”

“If it’s about Korea… don’t worry, okay? We’ll make it work.”

Smiling, Zen shook his head and very quickly moved to kiss Jumin’s cheek. “I know, I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” Or so he thinks, he’s working on it though! That has to count for something. It’s been a bit of a back and forth regarding the way he feels about what they’re going to go through in Korea, but deep down he knows he’ll reach a balance on giving and not giving a fuck.

The older man stared at him for a moment before breaking into his own smile, nodding at his statement. Zen never considered his pessimism getting to Jumin so much, but maybe he should look out for that, try to be less negative and more considerate of how perceptive Jumin’s become since V’s death.

“We’re not changing out of our clothes, but we can ride to the reception with Mother if you’d like,” Jumin offered as they both watched everyone walk behind the groom and the bride throwing petals into the wind as they left the beach.

“Sure.” With a gentle touch, Zen caught one of the petals floating around them and watched it shimmer along with the last rays of sun. “This was very beautiful, your sister has great taste.”

“Of course she does.” The reply was so dry that Zen’s only reaction was to give Jumin a look. Guess no matter how much he grows, the guy is never going to _change_. That’s okay though, he loves him regardless. Turns out he always did!

As soon as the crowd dispersed, Gaeul was left standing seeing her daughter off, Charles’ mother next to her talking softly. There were no tears in her eyes but there was a nice, warm look and Zen wondered if she’d feel the same way about him when Jumin leaves with him the following day. There’s still a lot he doesn’t know about the Han family, like _why_ exactly did Gaeul not keep contact with Jumin, as he was her first born. Maybe one day Jumin will share those details with him, or the woman herself. It was nice to know that Junghee’s wedding was legitimate, and her and Charles were happy.

“Ready to go party, gentlemen?” Charles’ mother spoke as she turned and smiled brightly at them, but Zen didn’t understand what she was saying so he simply smiled and let Jumin take control of that conversation.

He turned around and made his way up the path to the podium before standing on the middle and looking out at the calm ocean. The breeze was soft and comfortable, and it made his hair move a bit. This was so relaxing. A smile made its way to his face as he recalled standing by the ocean next to Jumin days ago, discussing the ridiculous plan he had of buying his own island. Rich bastard and his equally ridiculous rich wims.

“Thinking of marrying me?” Jumin asked from down on the sand before reaching out to ask for Zen’s help getting up. He pulled the older man up with him and the two stood on the altar, illuminated by the lamps and the blood red sky. “Since you can’t seem to wait, we could get married now, everything’s set up, there’s even a priest--”

“Oh quit your teasing, it’s not funny,” Zen huffed since he was starting to feel annoyed every time the other mentioned the idea of them getting married.

Humphing, Jumin moved closed and sighed. “Who says I’m teasing.”

Choosing not to fall for what is _clearly_ teasing, Zen turned to Jumin and wrapped his arms around his shoulders before pressing their lips together. “I’m satisfied with kissing you under the open night sky on an altar when everyone is gone,” he says as he continues to kiss the other until Jumin’s arms wrap around his body to pull him even closer than they already are.

“You know,” Jumin tried to talk between smooches, but he was finding it hard and it was making Zen grin wider and wider, “if I do buy an island, that means we can do what we want without having eyes on us constantly. We’d be all alone.”

Clearly the other was too distracted to get into the kisses, possibly because they were quite literally out in the open and anyone could see them, so Zen pulled back and second guessed his decision on letting Jumin touch him at all. He was so obsessive with his ideas, it was both cute and incredibly irritating. This was probably what Jaehee meant every time she’d complain about his cat projects.

“If you want to waste your money on a piece of floating land by all means do so, but don’t use me as an excuse.”

Jumin stared at him intently before slowly pressing a kiss on his cheek and taking a step back. “You always have a talent of making things sound so… dumb.”

Ah yes, because it had everything to do with him saying it and nothing to do with Jumin’s ideas being inherently dumb, but the man can go on. “And where exactly would you buy this island?” He asked, a bit bored with the topic but it was seemingly important to Jumin so why not humor the guy.

“Anywhere that has great weather and far away from mainland.” There was a pause before he chuckled softly, stealing Zen’s attention from the ocean. “You don’t like the idea of the island, do you.”

Zen wasn’t going to lie to the man. “I think it’s incredibly unnecessary, but if a piece of floating land will make you happy, go for it, who am I to stop you from being happy, Jumin.” It’s his money and his decision to waste it on dumb stuff.

“An island of cats…”

He shrugged. “Sure, why not. Knock yourself out.” He’s already going to be under medication. Eventually it’ll give him complete immunity or something like that. The point is, Zen is a bit tired of arguing about stupid cats with Jumin’s stubborn ass. His skin was beginning to itch so bad.

It was funny how the man’s eyes began to shine brighter after that statement, he didn’t comment on it though. Being stared at as if he were the most amazing thing in the world was strange, and even stranger when Jumin was the one doing the staring. Making him happy felt like the easiest thing in the world for him to do, but he already knew this. Give the man cats in any way and he’d be over the moon.

“We should get going,” Jumin speaks up, reaching over to brush their fingers, making Zen’s heart skip. The night of celebration was just beginning and he was already suffering from his heart problems, and by heart problems he meant Jumin. He was a problem to his heart.

Although Zen has never been to a wedding before, he found it strange that they had to go from one location to another just to continue the celebration. The huge elegant hotel Junghee showed him days ago was decked out with the most beautiful flower arrangements that matched the ones from the beach, visible from where they had to get into the property to drive up to the entrance. He supposes the other place isn’t for big, loud parties, not to mention the sand could’ve been a problem. He wishes he had asked Junghee about all the details she showed him that now confuse him, but he had been too preoccupied with his feelings for Jumin.

“There are going to be photographers at the reception, so I’ll be keeping some distance since most of it will end up in the internet,” the older man explained after he helped his and Charles’ mother get out of the unnecessarily expensive looking car. The two stood at the bottom of the huge staircase leading up to the entrance watching everyone go in after the two women.

Nodding, Zen turned and gave him a reassuring smile. “Thank you.” This must be irritating to Jumin considering the man seems to not care about public opinion (at the very least, he cares less than Zen does), there’s no way Zen could ever express how thankful he is that Jumin’s going along with it all. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Jumin raised an eyebrow and didn’t voice what was clearly written all over face of satisfaction. Yes, yes, cheesy. He will, he’ll give the guy the makeout session of his life. He hasn’t seen anything yet. Things are only getting good from here. “Very well.”

The music wasn’t dramatically loud, but it could be felt from the outside as they made their way up. Zen was left alone the moment people spotted and recognized Jumin, leaving him to fend for himself from that point on. There were lots of young people, and by young he means around his own age, but there were also very old people mingling around and talking to Gaeul and Chairman Han. It shouldn’t seem as funny as it is to him considering Charles is much older than Junghee, but he can’t help himself. Would it be the same with Jumin? The man spends his time around business people and they all seem to be on the end of the spectrum when it comes to age.

“Zen!” Before he could register who was calling his name, an arm slipped around his in a very gentle way, pulling him and leading him further into the room. “I didn’t mean to startle you. You look lost,” Ara grinned and he couldn’t help grinning back. She was a nice woman, she really was. The fact that Chairman Han is with her only confuses the hell out of him but it’s not his life so he isn’t going to dwell on it past that initial puzzling feeling.

“I guess you can say I was lost. There are so many people here, and I don’t speak English so this is going to be a long night. Besides, I don’t even know anyone other than Jumin and his family.”

The older woman eyed him before looking around the room. “I can keep you company if that’s okay with you. Just because I speak English doesn’t mean I want to hear every detail of whatever deal these people feel like bragging about. Hey, I might be dating a seasoned businessman, but I’m far from being _that_ boring.”

He wants to say that about himself but really, all he ever does is work and workout. That’s literally what his days amount to. After everything that went down with the RFA he isn’t complaining. During those hard times all he kept thinking about was going back to his normal, boring routine and live his normal, boring life. _And now_ … _I’m glad the most exciting thing going on in my life is actually something worthy of being excited about._ Too bad Jumin wasn’t around so he could try and tease him, and maybe this time win the damn argument.

Not a moment later the two were offered champagne and directions to their seats for the dinner was about to start and everyone needed to be sat down. Zen thought he was going to sit by Jumin, but turns out the man along with the rest of the Han family were sitting across from everyone else, next to Junghee, Charles, and his own family. That was an odd set up but they could still talk to them, so maybe not.

Shuddering, Zen glanced over to the side and met Chairman Han’s eyes this time around. What was the man’s problem? He looked good, he knows because Jumin was very pleased with how the clothes looked on him, so what was his problem. Zen wasn’t being obnoxious or rude, and really it’s not like he could considering he knew no English.

Ara seemed to have noticed his discomfort, so she giggled behind her hand and said, “my boyfriend keeps staring at you, should I be worried?” jokingly, an obvious attempt at making him feel less uncomfortable. She had to know what was going on, the old man must have mentioned it to her at some point. Zen did smile at the ridiculous idea of Chairman Han finding him hot, but whether Ara knew this or not didn’t stop her from feeling accomplished.

“I don’t think you have to worry about Chairman Han. There’s no doubt in my mind I’m his least favorite person at the moment.” And how can he not be, when Jumin pretty much used him as an excuse to get back at him. Boy is Zen happy he used him.

The beautiful woman frowned as she glanced over at Chairman Han. “I have to say, whatever you did got on his nerves.” Ara paused, thinking back on the time they’ve spent with the Hans. “This is the first time you meet Jumin’s family, right?”

Recalling the old man scrutinizing him and saying he looked familiar only serves to grind his gears. He understand C&R International is _very_ big, and there’s hundreds of programs going on at the same time, but Zen has not only been part of _multiple_ projects with them, they’ve all been Jumin’s projects for the most part. Is his dad not overlooking the things his son does at the company? Zen finds that strange. With this new development between them, if Jumin came to him enthusiastic about a project or an idea, Zen would receive him attentively. Jumin’s smiles and excitement are a million times more appealing now that he’s in love with the man than they’ve ever been.

Man, Zen used to be so salty. He used to be so upset whenever Jumin would be happy over the dumbest things. Personal growth, that’s what he’ll brush that off as, he’s a better person now than he was before. Everyone is.

“Yeah,” he muttered, wondering if he should be having this conversation with her. She was there when Chairman Han saw him for the first time, and to his surprise she was the one to recognize him first. “I’ve done many jobs for the company but I’ve never met him in person until now.”

Nodding, Ara took a sip of her drink and grinned. “Jumin seems to be very fond of you, so ignore what my boyfriend has to say.” Her statement was very forward but he liked that, he appreciated that about her. “All that matters is that he loves you. I won’t presume and assume anything about your relationship with him, but it’s adorable to see you two together. I never imagined you’d be with someone like Jumin!”

“Oh!” Even though he’s always had a super fan around him, he’s never bothered to ask Jaehee what he thinks about him and his love life, mostly because she’s very persistent about him staying “available” to the fans. But Ara isn’t Jaehee and he was very curious to hear what a fan would think about him and his love life. “And who do you think would suit me better?”

“Ignoring the fact that you’re with Jumin?” She asked and he nodded, making her pause to think about the answer. “Okay, I obviously don’t mean to be offensive or presumptuous but I thought you were straight. I think it’s safe to say me and the rest of your fanbase thought you’d be with a very sweet, loving girl who adores being your wife. Jumin seems very serious, not that it’s a bad thing. I assumed you’d end up with someone in the entertainment industry, especially now that you’ve been branching out to more projects outside musicals.”

Yeah, he isn’t as straight as he thought he was. But with his group of friends, is there such a thing anyway? Zen can’t help snickering at the thought of Seven and the things that wild guy says and does sometimes.

“I’ll be honest with you because I feel you’re a very nice, loyal person, and I want to thank you for keeping my relationship a secret along with everyone else. I never thought I’d be with someone like Jumin either, but here I am. I do love him though, and I don’t wish for him to be anyone else but himself.”

“Aww,” Ara grinned and the gushing made him blush a bit, he was being somewhat vulnerable by sharing a couple of intimate thoughts. If the relationship was public, he wouldn’t care sharing every single thing he loves about the man, but for now it all feels like the reveal of a huge secret. “I hope he knows he’s the luckiest guy in Korea for snatching you up! You’re such a catch. Gorgeous inside and out! You’re a nice, lovely guy in person. Not that you don’t look it!” She added at the end with a sheepish grin.

“Thanks.” He can’t speak for Jumin, but considering the man stopped torturing him with cat thoughts and nasty fur inside presents, then he can make an educated guess and say that it’s something close to that.

On a different note, Zen wonders if Chairman Han has talked shit about him behind his back. What was his opinion of him after they introduced themselves?

“Has he talked about me to you? You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable,” he adds with a soft smile. It’s not like he wants to use her admiration of him to pressure her into talking. “I’m just curious, he hasn’t directed a word at me since the day you two arrived.”

When Ara flicked her eyes to the side, avoiding his own, she unintentionally gave herself away. How cute. “I shouldn’t care but I kind of do. I would like to know if I’m unintentionally causing more problems between him and Jumin.” Oh. Maybe he shouldn’t talk about the issues between Jumin and his dad to his dad’s girlfriend. It’s one thing for his dad to run his mouth, but Zen doesn’t want to be like that.

It took little persuasion for the woman to speak on the issue. “He… wasn’t expecting you, at all. He constantly talks about Jumin and how he wishes he wasn’t so alone. Then you showed up and confused the hell out of him.” The fact that she spoke so freely made him like her even more.

“I see.” He wonders if the old man feels more confused than disgusted at the fact that his eldest son is with a guy. Does he feel disgusted, is that where his dislike for Zen comes from? Or is he just another rich bastard that passes judgement before getting to know a person?

Sensing his tension, Ara chuckled and whispered, “don’t worry about it too much, he’ll move on to the next thing that gets on his nerves soon and he’ll forget all about your relationship with his son.”

Her words didn’t make him feel better about anything, but she might be right about him moving on soon. Ara must know him more than Zen since she’s the man’s partner.

Thinking about it, Zen feels his own mind changing. Instead of going on the defensive, maybe a frank and honest conversation with Chairman Han would produce a better outcome. Except… _Jumin has talked about the multiple times the old man treats him like a child_ . Is there such thing as a frank conversation when it comes to him? _If_ he goes through with that, if by any chance the dude decides to confront him, Zen would like to give it a try. He’d be overstepping every boundary there is, but Jumin is worth the try.

Fuck. He’s so whipped. It’s hard to believe he’s already considering doing something like that.

 _But is it though?_ , a small voice in his head chimes in. _Is it?_ He might not have carried the torch for Jumin very long, but it’s as clear as day how intense everything was between them from the very beginning of their so called friendship years ago. Pfft. Well, Zen is intense, Jumin not so much. He’s just an asshole that pretends to be dumb sometimes to make fun of people.

When the speeches began, Zen pulled out his phone discreetly and decided to text his beautiful princess to pass the time. He thought about asking Ara to translate, but really decided against it as he didn’t want to be bothersome. Now more than ever he feels determined to learn the damn language.

 **ZEN:** ugh i wonder if english is difficult to learn

 **MC:** Zen!!  <3

 **MC:** it depends on how hard you practice. Are you planning on learning English?

 **ZEN:** yeah kind of considering it, i missed the entire wedding because i didnt understand anything that was said =_=

 **MC:** awwww don’t worry, i’ll help you practice! I’m trying to learn it too!

 **ZEN:** deal! Im currently missing the other half of the wedding… so i’ll keep you company for a bit if you’re free

 **MC:** I am! I just finished making breakfast for Saeyoung and Saeran.

 **ZEN:** lucky guys!!!!!

 **MC:** XD how’s it going with Jumin? Im assuming good... you never complained about him again since the other day lol

How can he forget about that? Way to give himself away. There was never a moment where Zen wouldn’t complain about Jumin, and on this trip where they were spending all of their time together, Momo must think it strange that he never followed up on his request to vent to her. For a moment Zen hesitated, not wanting to give too much away but at the same time wanting to be honest with his friend. Rika made him despise secrets, and it’s not like he liked them much to begin with.

 **ZEN:** we’ve been VERY good, haven’t had a fight or an argument.

 **ZEN:** we’re actually pretty close now

 **Jaehee Kang:** Wait, what?

 **ZEN:** hi jaehee :)

 **MC:** wowowow in that case this trip was probably the best thing to happen! :D

 **Jaehee Kang:** Did I just read you and Jumin are not only getting along but also getting pretty close?

 **MC:** I think that’s wonderful!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Don’t get me wrong, I agree. I’m just surprised.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised… You two were having a good time recently.

Ah yes, their unofficial first date. As much as he enjoyed seeing Jumin suffer a little bit, he’s happy the man didn’t get worse from all the greasy food he ate at the fair.

 **ZEN:** crazy how I almost didn’t come along huh? oh you guys don’t know this but i almost didn’t come along haha

 **MC:** yuh! I’m happy for you two <333

 **ZEN:** why the heart haha

 **MC:** oh, you know ;)

 **Jaehee Kang:** Why the winky face?

 **707:** hohohohohoho I’m glad you’re both getting along ;) ;)

 **ZEN:** not you =_=

 **Jaehee Kang:** Oh, hello Seven.

 **Yoosung:** hey guys!

 **MC:** hi yoosung!! ^_^!!

 **707:** T_T im hurt zen, you’re so mean to me, jumin is rubbing you off the wrong way

 **Yoosung:** …..

 **Yoosung:** yeah nope, bye guys

 **ZEN:** omg no he isn’t

 **MC:** saeyoung you chased yoosung away ;;;

Seven liked to tease them, but this time around he didn’t feel like negating his and Jumin’s romantic feelings because it was true. It would make him feel weird to lie and say no, they aren’t together when they are and he loves him very much. Looking across from him, Zen watched Jumin contemplate the current speaker (someone from Charles’ family who he hasn’t been introduced to) while smiling softly.

“They’re about to be done and we’ll be served dinner,” Ara shared once she saw he wasn’t staring down at his phone anymore.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I believe you meant to say “rubbing off on you”.

 **707:** i said what I meant and I meant what I said ;))))))))))

 **ZEN:** gotta go now, they’re going to serve dinner. ttyl guys!

The stuff he gets to try was very tasty but weird looking. Ara tried her best to describe the dishes as they tried them, but Zen found the lesson in cuisine and the dinner dull in general when Jumin was sitting across from him instead of by his side. Too close yet too far away. He chuckled, finding the whole thing ridiculously cheesy. How many times did he complain about Jumin appearing on the group chat? So many, yet here he is wishing he could talk to him.

Never thought this to be a challenge, considering they’ve been together every day, and they’re sitting at the same table. Uh, shit. Zen hoped to all the Gods in the world that this wasn’t foreshadowing to how he’s going to deal being apart from the man once they’re back in Korea.

Jumin Han:   
I see you can’t wait to tell everyone about us.

Zen looked up from the most adorable and extra looking fruit tart he’s ever seen in his life, meeting Jumin’s eyes and resisting the urge to smile back at him.

Jumin Han:   
Good, the sooner everyone knows you’re mine, the better.

ZEN:   
You’re impossible lol i was actually trying not to give us away although…  
I have to admit it feels weird that they don’t know about us yet.

Jumin Han:   
We can tell them, they’re our closest friends. The problem is the general public.

ZEN:   
I wish it weren’t…

Sighing, Zen watched Jumin stare down at his phone and not look up from his last message. He’s being annoying now for sure. _He_ was the one who asked for secrecy, _he_ doesn’t get to complain about it, _he_ can’t help it though. His mind tells him to play his cards right, but his heart tell him to fuck it all and to live his life how he wants it. _Except I can’t live my life how I want it without my career_. It’s a never ending battle within himself. Panic began to slowly flare in the deepest parts of his mind.

Jumin Han:   
Meet me in the washroom.

The beating of his heart slowed, not because he wasn’t excited for the text, but because the confusion of Jumin being the one to offer meeting him in a bathroom overshadowed the slight break down he was about to have from overthinking everything ( _as always_ , he can hear Jumin say if they had been having this conversation).

Zen took a moment to find said washroom, but when he did he couldn’t help bursting out laughing the moment he saw Jumin standing by the sinks. “I have to admit,” he began between breaths as Jumin approached him, “you asking me to meet you in the bathroom is possibly the most hilarious thing you’ve ever done.” What are they, thirteen?

Jumin’s hands were warm and Zen didn’t resist the smothering kiss the older man pressed against his lips even though he wishes they weren’t in a bathroom. _Jumin probably wishes that more than him_. “I wanted to get away from everyone so I could kiss you,” he muttered as he stared down at Zen’s lips intently. “My father’s girlfriend has been keeping you company.”

The statement didn’t come as a surprise to him, Jumin has already expressed his disdain for the woman who, to Zen, was unrelated to the narrative. She happens to be the current girlfriend of Chairman Han, it doesn’t mean she gets blame put on her just for that simple fact. However, right now he wanted to enjoy being this close to Jumin and not argue with him about whether he should let the Ara thing go already.

He grabbed one of Jumin’s hands and kissed it before linking their fingers together. “Stop that,” Zen chided as he quickly kissed Jumin one last time. “Enjoy the wedding and stop trying to find reasons to dislike your dad’s girlfriend, whose name is Ara. I told you already, she’s a very nice woman.”

“Doesn’t matter,” the older man argued-- _Is that a pout!?_ “They won’t last long enough for my opinion of her to be important.”

That was sad, that was very sad. Jumin knew Chairman Han more than anyone though, and he was probably a professional at predicting that stuff. Doesn’t make it less sad. Zen isn’t going to defend the old guy, but when your own son thinks your love life is doomed, well, that can’t be good.

Speaking of. “Has your dad said anything else to you? You guys are sitting right next to each other.” Which was so awkward because Zen was way too close to him. Too far from Jumin, but too close to his dad. Jumin shook his head and leaned forward to kiss him again, but the second he heard the door to the washroom open he moved back and let go of Zen’s hand. He watched Jumin’s eyes follow the person walk past them, then he said, “Should we head back? I’ll be with you after the wedding. For now you should enjoy your sister’s special day.”

“Let’s go.” He didn’t miss the way Jumin let his hand follow his body as he turned around until it rubbed his butt, right before he let it fall to his side. Zen can’t complain, he has a nice, taut rear thanks to his genes and the endless exercise he does.

The lights on the place looked different and both of them noticed how everyone was walking towards the side of the area where instruments were lit up by beautiful, soft light. Junghee and Charles were standing by each other talking to someone who appeared to be the music director and the performers. As a musical actor, Zen got excited at the thought of live music.

“Is there going to be dancing?” He asked Jumin while looking around the people to see what everyone was doing.

Jumin chuckled at him, probably making fun of his enthusiasm. “Yes, they’ll have their first dance as a married couple. It’s a western tradition on weddings. After that everyone will be able to join them.”

“Do you know how to dance?” Zen looked over and watched Jumin not hesitate as he replied with a solid yes. “Will you dance?”

“No. My legs are cramping from all the running earlier.”

What. That was--Jumin was probably using that as an excuse. “But you’re a jogger, Jaehee has mentioned your daily jogs.”

Jumin didn’t even hide the fact that he was halfheartedly using that reason as an excuse to not participate. “Have you seen me jog lately?”

Zen frowned and playfully looked away. That’s a valid point, he supposes. He would’ve loved to see Jumin dancing just because he knows the man would’ve been pretentious about it. “You didn’t even run that much, you could hardly keep up!”

Shrugging lightly, Jumin smiled and said, “you’re too fast, there was absolutely no chance of me catching you or up to you for that matter.”

And yet he ran after Zen. “You’re so cute, Jumin.” There’s no way he can remain annoyed at the older man not wanting to dance, he was just so cute sometimes. In a way he’s happy the lack of animosity between them lets him be more honest about his thoughts and feelings. Yeah, without being annoyed at Jumin, the man can rival Yoosung’s cuteness. “Maybe you should run with me instead of doing the light jogging you do, that’d get you in shape.”

“Maybe I would if you moved in with me.” That was the end of that because Jumin very rudely turned away from him and instead moved his attention on his sister who was standing besides Charles waiting for the music to play.

The offhanded comment left Zen a bit confused even though he wanted to feel shocked instead. He can’t. Jumin has made it clear he wants them to live together, if not closer together. The thing is, Zen doesn’t feel ready for that, but he knows he’ll eventually be ready. _Or, who knows, maybe that’ll be yet another thing he overcomes at the speed of light_. Besides, if Jumin truly wants them to live together he’s going to have to ask in a more elaborated way. Zen might not be a woman, but men like to be wooed too!

Soft notes resonated around all of them and the dancing began along with the cellos and violins. Charles and Junghee moved about the floor, holding each other tenderly as they stared into each other’s eyes. If Zen had been more of a crybaby he would’ve teared up, it was beautiful. There was something about love that made it so captivating. He expected them to dance a second time from how into it the two of them were, but that wasn’t the case. The whole thing lasted about five minutes, and Zen became confused when the song ended and Junghee sprung into the crowd to get to him.

“Hyun, how would you like to perform in front of all my wedding guests?” She asked with flushed cheeks and starry eyes. Junghee was having the time of her life and he’s very happy for her. To think the poor woman was nervous about her big day.

“What!?” At first he was taken aback, thinking she meant him going up there to sing in front of everyone, which wouldn’t be a problem. “To sing?”

“No! To play the piece you composed for me and Charles!”

Oh, of course that’s what she meant, and it made him feel so warm and happy. “It would be an honor for me to get up there and play the piano for you two,” he grinned from ear to ear, Zen didn’t think he’d be asked to do it at the wedding. He was planning to play it for her and Charles tomorrow before leaving America since he forgot to do it the night he finished it. Thanks to a certain surprisingly horny boyfriend.

Before he allowed himself to get distracted with memories of Jumin pulling his pants down and wrapping his lips around his dick, Zen cleared his throat and followed the young woman along the side of the dancing area so he could stand under the bright lights falling on the big beautiful piano, as he’s done many times in many jobs he’s had, then took a seat on the stool. The room went quiet and he realized he didn’t have the music sheet where he wrote the melody, thankfully he remembered the simple yet pretty thing from the top of his head without having to play with any of the keys first. Music was his passion, and his passion came easy to him.

He didn’t see it, but Junghee grabbed her dad’s hands to pull him into the dancing floor while Charles extended his so his mother could grab them, and the two pairs began to dance to the music. Some other couples joined, because by the time he was done and turned around to look at the room, everyone clapped for him from where they stopped. Zen did as always after a performance and bowed to the claps, eliciting laughs from some of the guests. No one outside of Jumin’s family and Ara know he’s a performer, so he can’t blame them for thinking he was possibly joking.

There were tears in Junghee’s eyes when she approached him along with Charles who looked just as emotional. “That was so beautiful,” she translated after Charles clapped his shoulder and pulled him close for a hug. “Will you send us a copy of it?” It made him feel so satisfied to know the two of them loved the piece he composed thinking of them and their love.

“Of course! I was planning on recording it professionally and giving it to you as your wedding gift,” he explained with a wide smile.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think someone would ever compose something so beautiful for me, it makes me so happy. Thank you Hyun,” she moved closer and pressed a sweet, warm kiss on him. “You’re an amazing addition to this family. I’m very happy for my brother.”

“That makes me feel good,” he confessed. Distant are the thoughts of them being pretentious assholes. Turns out they are very nice people who have problems just like everyone else, and the fact that they’re ridiculously rich doesn’t make that any less difficult for them.

Under the dim lights, Junghee looked ethereal, and Zen blushed when she grabbed his hands to pull him along with her so they could dance to the more upbeat music that began to play as soon as he was done with the piano. Jumin’s sister was beautiful, he’s so happy he got to know her. “Ready to loosen up? I bet you thought my wedding was going to be all boring,” it was a joke but he knew better than to speak. He did think they were all boring people, turns out they were a lot more complex than that.

“I was hoping your wedding would be the best wedding in the world,” he shared, thinking back on that night him and Jumin met for drinks. A fated night that would lead to them holding on and never letting go. With a raise of an eyebrow, the young Han sibling dared him to answer the unspoken question. “For the only wedding I’ve ever attended, this definitely wins as the best wedding in the world.”

“You’re so funny Hyun,” Junghee said between giggles as they continued to dance. “Are you and Jumin going to dance? Am I keeping you?”

That has already been established. “No, there are too many cameras here,” he said, knowing very well that’s probably why Jumin doesn’t want to dance with him, or at all. “Besides, I’m having a good time with you!”

Even though he healed at an incredibly fast pace, after a while of dancing not only with Junghee, but also with a group of her and Charles’ friends when they all formed a big circle, his head began to throb. Softly at first, but after a while he had to step back and get away from the deep base and the flashing lights to stop the headache from becoming a migraine.

His eyes sought out Jumin immediately, maybe they could get a drink and spend some more time together without having to sneak away, but he saw him talking to his mother and Zen didn’t feel like interrupting them. Their relationship is finally looking up, they were going back to Korea the following morning… He’d give them time to have a conversation without anyone listening to it.

As soon as he found a server offering water, Zen took the cool glass and downed the entire thing in a single go while wishing he had brought the medicine the doctor had given him the day of the accident. Hopefully hydrating himself will make it go away for the rest of the time they remain at the wedding--

“Hyun Ryu,” someone spoke Korean from behind him and in all honesty Zen had a hard time not looking shocked when he turned around to see Jumin’s dad in all his serious looking glory. “May I have a word with you?”

A couple of things ran through his mind as the two stared at each other with determination. Zen wondered if the man having a word with him was a good idea from Jumin’s perspective, he doesn’t want to make things worse. He also thought about the way his heart sped up and the warmth rose to his face, and whether he’d be calm enough to talk to Jumin’s dad without feeling resentment for the way he’s treated his son. And lastly, he didn’t want to give him the wrong impression at all. Zen is very serious about Jumin, and the old man isn’t going _anywhere_ , he doesn’t want to make the wrong move and ruin things for himself forever. This was a lot more unnerving than he would’ve thought. All those times he offered to mess him up for Jumin, shit, he had no idea what he was talking about and he’s very glad Jumin rejected every single offer and wasn’t as drunk as when he came up with this stupid plan, because Zen wouldn’t have come through for him.

He glanced around behind him to see if he could spot Jumin again but he couldn’t, so without further ado Zen nodded and followed the man to where they could talk privately. It was a hallway away from the main room where the loud crowd and music were, but most importantly away from where Jumin could find him.

Chairman Han didn’t stand close to him, he kept a relatively good distance and that irked Zen to no end. Even though this was already starting the wrong way, he wanted to give him a chance. _I don’t_ **_want_ ** _to, but I’m going to for Jumin_.

Clearing his throat, the old man asked, “how much will it take to keep you away from Jumin?” as if it were a question about the damn weather.

“I’m not doing this,” Zen said loud enough for pretty much anyone within earshot to hear. Before he could walk away the man moved fast and pulled on his arm rather roughly to keep him on place.

“I apologize.” He would’ve found the man’s flustered face funny if he weren’t already pissed off at his audacity. “I thought it was a good test but in retrospect it was a bit presumptuous. It’s what you’d call a knee reaction, _my apologies_ .” He understands a _tiny_ bit. Zen can deduce how taxing it must be for people like Jumin and his family to be constantly surrounded with people who just want to take advantage of them. “All I want is to protect my son.”

“Ha!” His intention wasn’t to do that out loud but fuck, can anyone blame him? How can Chairman Han be this obtuse. The man who supposedly built one of the wealthiest companies in their country can’t seem to see past his own damn nose. “You can cut the bullshit,” Zen snapped, already irritated to hell and back. This conversation is about to go downhill but he can’t keep his mouth shut. It’s stressing enough to think about what him and Jumin will have to put up with once they’re back in Korea, he doesn’t have time nor does he want to deal with this as well.

He’s going to make himself clear to Jumin’s dad, and the old man can take it and be okay with it or deal with his feelings about the matter away from him.

“I’d say with all due respect, but there’s hardly any. Especially after you insinuated I’d take money from you. If you were truly worried about Jumin, you would keep yourself away from him.”

Chairman Han grunted a bit and frowned, but he let him speak which was unexpected to him. Zen would’ve thought the man would want to have all the words in this conversation, not just the last one. He seems like someone who doesn’t get pushed around much in business. _Then again, he sucks at personal matters and this is exactly that, so maybe that’s the reason I’m not being taken out by a burly, scary looking bodyguard yet._ The man could be uninterested in anything he had to say about the issue too.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he snapped back, the tone stern as if he were some child who needed a scolding. Too bad a strong presence doesn’t intimidate him that easily.

Widening his eyes at the response he got, Zen shook his head and actually felt himself physically calm down. “Neither do you. I don’t care about your money or your status. It must be hard for you to believe, but that’s not my problem. What I do care about, and I care _very much_ , is Jumin and his happiness. Ever since you tried to marry him off, he’s been--” He can’t speak for Jumin, so he’s going to stop right then and there and try to tackle this from a different angle.

“He’s been what?” The desperate tone took him aback. There were many things he expected; a slap on the face, a scoff, even an insult. He didn’t expect Chairman Han to sound so concerned, not after what he did to Jumin. “How has my son been?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Zen looked down for a second, trying to stop himself from saying something mean, “he has to tell you that.” To be fair, it’s not like Jumin has shared much with him either. He explained some things but they’re probably a modest example of what he went through.

Raising his hands in frustration, Chairman Han turned away from him and began to slowly pace from one side of the hall to the other as Zen stared at him. “I tried--”

“Um,” he began, this time feeling a bit uncomfortable being so brusque, “no, you haven’t.” When dark, black eyes shot to him, Zen panicked. “Why did you ask to speak with me?”

Slowing to a stand, the older man straightened himself and sighed in defeat. “I decided to have a word with you because I couldn’t help but notice the way my son was adoringly staring at you while you played the piano. The only time I’ve ever seen him like that is when he talks about or he’s around the presence of his cat, Elizabeth.” Zen sneezed so hard, the older man took a step back from him before becoming serious again. “At that moment I knew this wasn’t some petty game from both of you, but something real that needed my utmost attention.”

Zen sniffled and blushed profoundly, but he continued to hold his head high. “Why would it need your attention?”

With as much patience as Zen has ever seen anyone answer these type of questions, Chairman Han continued on as if there hadn’t been a clash at the beginning of the conversation. “Considering you’ve known my son for many years now, you must be aware he isn’t one to have feeble interests. You two,” he said while waving his finger lazily at Zen, “aren’t a curiosity or childsplay. You’re very… important to him.”

His heart began to beat like a drum trying its damndest to get out of his chest. “Ah, I mean, I suppose--”

The old man raised a hand once more but to make him stop this time. “You don’t have to do that, I’m not here to argue about something I can’t control.”

Zen was going to rip his hair off. What in the world was wrong with this man? _Now_ he wants to be nice and understanding? No wonder Jumin felt fed up with him, this was irritatingly infuriating. “I’m sorry, but how can you say something like that after trying to marry him off. I might be overstepping boundaries,” he’s very well _jumping_ on the damn boundaries, he’s stomping away, “but frankly I don’t care. You already dislike me so there’s nothing for me to lose.”

“I don’t dislike you boy,” Chairman Han chided him and suddenly Zen understood Jumin’s irritation whenever he’d complain about his dad treating him like a child. “It’s a bit frustrating if I’m being honest,” Zen made a face and the man elaborated, “were you two together when the engagement happened?”

He shook his head, although now he wishes they had been. Maybe Jumin wouldn’t have felt so lost and alone. “No, not then.” Their little white lie won’t grow if he’s honest where he can be honest about their relationship.

Sighing once more, the man closed his eyes in relief. “I’m embarrassed to say I had no idea my son had an affinity for… All I wanted to do was to make him happy. I didn’t want him to end up alone.”

“And you thought meddling in his love life was going to make him happy? Not that it matters since marrying someone off is not only worse but also wrong. His future is not for you to decide.”

“I’m quite aware of that now. How can this be fixed?” Dropping all pretenses, not that he held them high to begin with, Chairman Han looked like the concerned parent he should’ve been all this time. “Tell me, Hyun Ryu, since you seem to know my son better than his own father, how can I fix things with him?”

Mentally taking a step back, Zen thought about the question. There are multiple people who know Jumin better than him, but none of them are useful to the old man at the moment unlike Zen. Jumin was, underneath all that cold mask, a human who felt happiness and sadness. All he needed was his dad to care for him and not stab him in the back the way Chairman Han did. All he wanted was an apology for being hurt so deeply.

“Why can’t you just apologize?” His question was valid but the other didn’t think so.

“I tried!”

If Chairman Han is sincere about his desire to fix things between him and Jumin, he’s going to have to try harder than that. Jumin deserves better than that. Zen’s love for him might have evolved into something deeper recently, but he’s known that much for a while. “No you didn’t. You need to apologize sincerely _and mean it_.”

Both were getting frustrated by now, neither wanting to listen to the other it seemed. At least they were getting somewhere, this conversation was leading Jumin’s dad to a productive path.

“And how would you suggest I do that? I meant it when I apologized to him--”

Zen had to stop him right there, his earlier feelings echoing in the back of his mind. The man was hardheaded, probably more than anyone Zen has ever met. “How about instead of waiting for him to come to you, you take the first step. Tell him how you really feel, show him that you give a fuck about his feelings!” His face was flushed and his headache was back tenfold. For someone who was known for his entrepreneurship and charisma, he sure had no idea how to interact like a normal, decent person. It didn’t take a genius, it really didn’t.

This was another instance where he expected a slap, but none came. Instead the man stood staring at him with a surprised look on his face, probably wondering how his precious son ended up with someone as unrefined as him.

“And,” he decided to continue before the old man took his chance to speak, “wait before you do it the second time, Jumin’s still processing whatever happened between you guys yesterday. There’s no room for another mistake, you can’t halfass another apology.”

God, he loves Jumin so much to the point that he’s giving his own dad tips on how to fix their relationship. Zen, the one who got rejected and forgotten by his own family, is giving out tips on how to fix family relations. This could all backfire but what he’s suggesting isn’t out of this world, it’s common sense. If the man messes up this second time, let’s just say there isn’t anything anyone can do.

“Jumin deserves that much.”

To his genuine surprise, the billionaire seemed to have listened to what he had to say and nodded slowly as he processed his words. “Very well,” he muttered after clearing his throat, trying to lessen the intensity of what just happened. “I shall give my son time, then schedule a time for me to sincerely apologize to him.”

A smile broke on his face and Zen felt a little proud of himself. The fact that Jumin’s dad sounded exactly like the annoying idiot he loves didn’t faze him. Maybe he did manage to salvage some of what Jumin was so scared of losing.

“I’ve kept you long enough…” The man’s dark eyes fluttered before he managed to swallow his pride and say, “thank you. This won’t be forgotten.”

Zen didn’t care as long as things went back to normal between Chairman Han and Jumin only because he cares deeply for the young director, and he’d like to see him go back to his normal annoying self, his _more_ annoying self. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re not so bad, Hyun Ryu.” Right before he turned to leave, the man said, “do try to show some manners and address me formally next time we speak. Kids these days show no respect.”

He didn’t breathe until the man was out of sight. This conversation left him lightheaded, it was both wonderful and insane that it happened in the first place, and it ended in good terms. There was no mortal enemy made, there was no animosity kept, the two spoke like the grown ass men they are and everything turned out fine. Holy _shit_. He stood there, threw the man’s actions at his face, and nothing happened. Zen had to lean against the wall in order to catch his breath and process the severity of what just happened.

This trip is _definitely_ not good for his heart. His hand pressed against his chest as he took deep breaths.

Anyway. He needed to find Jumin and tell him what happened. Pulling his phone out, Zen noticed he had a missed call from said man along with a text message asking him to meet by the bar. It was sent around the time Chairman Han asked for him, so Zen decided to give it a shot before starting a hot potato game with the calls in such a loud place. He could use a drink regardless of Jumin’s presence.

To his surprise the CEO-in-line was still sitting there, seemingly looking out for him while holding a glass of wine. Of course he was. “Hey,” Zen greeted him as soon as the other spotted him walking towards the bar. “Sorry, I just saw your message.” He felt the strong urge to press a kiss on Jumin’s forehead, but he resisted it in time to not make himself look like an idiot.

Dark grey eyes swept all over his face and neck for a brief second. “Where were you?”

“Oh you know,” messing with Jumin was becoming easier and easier the closer they get, “making out with all the ladies here.”

It was hard to keep the snicker to himself when the other kicked him playfully as he moved to lean against the bar while Jumin sat on a stool. “That’s not funny, you brat.”

“Jumin, there’s no one I’d rather make out with other than you.” Zen quickly ordered a beer and was very happy the second the bubbly, cold liquid traveled down his throat. This has been a long day, and an even longer night. Beer makes it all seem like nothing. “When is the celebration over? I have a headache...”

“We can leave whenever you want. This is basically what’s left to do,” Jumin referred to the drinking and dancing which was still going on despite the earlier more modest ceremony. “We could pack instead of leaving it for the morning.”

Jumin was right, they should do that and be ready to leave as promptly as they can tomorrow morning. Besides, he can tell him about his and Chairman Han’s conversation back at his sister’s place instead of here at the party.

“Let’s go then.”

They didn’t have to tell anyone they were leaving since they’ll be saying goodbye to the family before leaving the country, which allowed them to make their getaway silent and efficient without getting sidetracked or interrupted. Both looked tired even though it wasn’t the latest they’ve stayed up during the trip. The running from earlier must have tired them out even though it hadn’t been that much of an exertion on his part. At least he gets to be alone with Jumin which means they can act on their feelings without worrying about who’s watching.

Jumin held his hand and linked their fingers on the way to the house. The only reason he let go of him is because Zen wanted to shower first for two reasons, the first one being how sweaty he got after dancing with Junghee, Charles, and their friends, but also so he could reflect on life.

He stood in the shower contemplating on everything that happened that day, on the trip back to Korea tomorrow, on his relationship with the older man. The trip has come to an end, and he couldn’t be more happy with the outcome of this crazy plot to take revenge on Jumin’s parents. The young director had looked so miserable that fated night when he invited Zen to come along, even going as far as making his parents sound like a nightmare. Sure, they did act like children whenever they argued with each other, but for the most part Chairman Han kept his distance and things weren’t as bad as he thought they’d be. Jumin was very dramatic at times, something that didn’t fit his cool, level headed self. Guess everyone has a weakness. Zen gets pretty depressed when he talks about his own parents so it’s not like he doesn’t understand where the other comes from.

When he came out of the bathroom, Zen was wearing a pair of shorts and his towel around his shoulders as he brushed his hair. Jumin was still in the linen clothes they wore for the wedding, but his shoes were gone and most of his stuff was already packed. Even though he didn’t mean to, Zen ended up watching the other move as he pulled things out of the drawers and folded them nicely into his luggage.

He never thought about it before, but seeing Jumin’s bare arms was weird since the man usually wore suits. _A stupid thought considering you’ve seen him stark naked_. Eventually he’ll get used to those type of details his brain will randomly bring up, until it doesn’t. They have a long, long way ahead of them. So much has changed, ha. At the end of it all, this wedding trip ended up being a learning experience for him and for some reason the universe chose to be kind to him this time around.

“Yes?” Jumin asked before he looked up to meet Zen’s eyes. “You keep staring.” The way he smiles so warmly at him makes Zen feel flustered, particularly after recalling Chairman Han’s comment.

Unbeknownst to Jumin, Zen had the perfect teasing reply for him. “According to your dad, so do you. I guess we’re even.” Grinning, Zen reached over the bedside table and pulled out his medicine even though the headache was almost gone thanks to the warm shower and the absence of loud music. He swallowed the pill dry and dropped the towel on the floor, thinking on leaving the packing for the morning despite packing now being the excuse for their early departure from the wedding.

Blinking, Jumin straightened up and frowned, finally catching up to his comment. “My father? When did you talk to him?”

This was the perfect time to bring up the conversation he had with Chairman Han. “Right before I met you at the bar. We had a long conversation.” Zen was being a bit cruel not going into details, but he’d prefer to ease Jumin into telling him what he did in case he wasn’t pleased with it. “He told me you looked lost in love when I was playing the piano, so I thought I’d return the favor,” he didn’t even try to hide his grin. It made him happy.

“You spoke to him face to face,” the blank face Jumin held as he said that earned an eye roll from Zen as he walked past the man to open the glass doors. “You and my father _spoke_ to each other, face to face, for more than a few exchange of words.”

“Is it really that unbelievable!?” Why does it always turn out this way? Zen wants to be able to tease Jumin without the older man magically turning it all around and tease him instead. He gives up. Zen is never going to win in wit battles, Jumin is definitely a pro at it.

Zen stared at the beautiful skyline laid before him, ignoring the loud zipping of luggage and two warm arms wrapping around him from behind. Giving up on the wit war didn’t mean he was going to let Jumin be in control of everything else, and by everything else he means his moods.

“Days ago you offered to trash his office for me, don’t blame me for being so surprised about this development.”

Valid, but he felt like continuing being a brat just to spite him. To his chagrin, the second Jumin nuzzled the back of his ear and kissed it softly made him accept the fact that he isn’t by _any means_ immune to his charm. Fuck everything into oblivion.

With a loud sigh, Zen relaxed and let himself be hugged and kissed from behind because there wasn’t much of a fight he could put up. He loved this, in fact, he loved this almost as much as he loved Jumin. He is utterly and completely pliable to Jumin’s hands. “I feel shitty for saying this but I kind of don’t want to go back to Korea. I miss it, but I think I’ll miss this more,” he said in a drastic change of topic.

“And what is this ‘this’ that you’ll miss?” The deep voice made him shiver and forget all about the teasing.

God, that voice… it made him feel so hot inside. Maybe he never noticed it because he’s never spent this much time around the man. They’ve had phone conversations. Jumin, apparently to everyone’s surprise, calls him pretty often. Has for years. But hearing his voice through the phone is different. Hearing it next to his ear like this is incomparable.

“Us, sleeping and waking up together. Us, not being swamped by work. Us, not thinking too much about how we act and what we do in public.” That last one will be missed for sure. Both Zen and Jumin are homebodies it seems, but knowing you _can’t_ do something only makes you want to do it more. Besides, he likes going out and visiting markets or running in parks, he likes riding his bike around the city at night. He likes hiking and getting on the highest places to stare at the beautiful starry sky. There’s a high chance he won’t be able to share any of those things with Jumin and it breaks his heart, he’s not going to lie.

“It was nice while it lasted,” Jumin shares softly as he kisses Zen’s cheek this time around. “But we can have everything over there too--At least most of that. We simply have to be patient and take every day as it comes. It’ll take some time before we get used to continuing our everyday life while incorporating each other into it.”

Trust fund kid is right. _He usually is, isn’t he?_ The fact no longer bothers him.

As the two stood almost under the rising moon, Zen turned around in Jumin’s arms and wrapped his own around his neck, resting his head on his shoulder. A laugh escaped him when Jumin began to sway them so naturally. They slow danced to no music for a peaceful bit before the older man interrupted the silence by saying, “one day we’ll dance at our own wedding,” sweetly, in a tone that’s still rare for Zen to hear. Expecting him to keep his cool, to agree and act as if that wasn’t the most beautiful and melancholic thing Jumin could say to him after the whirlwind that have been the past couple of days. The past couple of weeks.

Jumin makes him feel like he’s been in love with him for years and years. His words speak of a desire that transcends time, and Zen doesn’t know how he does it. _Our wedding_ , Zen thought along with the beat of his heart. Jumin sounds so sure they’ll be together from this point on, he speaks of their wedding as if he knew whether Zen was okay with that idea. He was, but that wasn’t the point. The other was _so sure_.

“Shouldn’t we see how I react to the allergy medicine first? Maybe you’ll have to choose between me and the cat.”

His teasing didn’t go far because Jumin pulled back and in a very serious tone he said, “I’ll fund your own allergy medicine if I have to. Nothing will make me choose between you two.”

Zen threw his head back in a lively laugh, all because of how intense Jumin was with anything related to him or his cat. Deep down he wanted to call him out on how weird it was, but he knew better. Nothing will change this man, not that he wanted to do that. Jumin is perfect the way he is. His teasing isn’t as malicious as it once was, and neither is Zen’s.

Dark eyes peered at him sharply, making him choke on his laugh. “What?” He asked, diverting his own attention from the one pair of eyes he still isn’t used to. Eyes are on him constantly, but these? These were a reminder of how new this still was despite how close and used to each other the two have become.

Soft lips pressed against him, easily persuading him to turn and follow along with the tender gesture. ”You played the piano beautifully,” Jumin randomly mutters against his lips, smiling when Zen presses his tongue against his.

Ignoring the temptation to bite his lip, Zen moved from Jumin’s lips to his jaw, mouthing, “you’re not letting that go, are you. I like you staring,” against the warm skin. A bit sticky from the South California hot weather, but that only made him taste better in his own personal opinion.

“Seeing you under the stage light was a sight to behold. You’re quite beautiful, just like Elizabeth, it's easy for me to lose myself admiring both of you.”

The comment almost, _almost_ killed the slow, sensual mood since his nose began to itch like crazy and he was about to spit all over his face if he let out the big sneeze he felt coming. “You and your cat… I guess I better start getting used to you constantly comparing us. Weirdo,” he twitched his nose, making Jumin grin. Stupid asshole, making him have an allergy attack on purpose.

They both stepped back despite him not wanting the sweet moment to end, and Jumin closed the glass door along with the curtains behind him after the two stepped back into the cold bedroom. “It’s okay, I’ll forgive you comparing me to the cat and sharing videos of me with your sister. I knew you admired me for longer than you ever admitted.”

“I can’t deny your last statement. But what videos are you talking about?” The demure man asked as he pulled his shirt off.

“You know, the videos you shared with your sister.”

Jumin turned around and blinked at Zen, still clueless. “I’ve never given my sister anything, let alone videos of you.”

What the hell. He could’ve sworn Junghee said Jumin sent her videos of his performances. “Are you playing a joke on me? It’s not funny Jumin.” Zen didn’t like doubting his own mind.

The older man kissed his still itching nose and shook his head. “I promise I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zen was confused but he let it go the second Jumin pulled him into his arms once more. The moment was so peaceful and nice, he wanted to enjoy it wholeheartedly. His body instantly warmed up once more the moment their bare skin touched between them. They were alone in the big house and Jumin was being affectionate, all Zen could think about was having this man on him, under him, wherever he wanted to be as long as it was pressed against him.

“You’re uncharacteristically affectionate,” Zen pointed out with a gasp when he felt Jumin’s hands grip the waistband of his shorts to pull their lower bodies close. “I’m not complaining.”

“This is the last night I get to do this with you for some time,” Jumin turned him and pushed him onto the bed before carefully climbing on top of him, “I’m going to be very busy once we’re back, it’d most likely be weeks before I see you again.”

There was a pause as both stared at one another. Zen was looking up at Jumin through the curtain of his dark hair thinking that not even God could save him from the man. Moving his hands, Zen slowly gripped the sides of Jumin’s waist, delighted with the fact that the slight trembling was because of him. In a moment their lips eagerly meet again and the world fades into Jumin’s warmth and smell, and the weight of him. The older man shifted closer and closer until Zen couldn’t move back anymore because he was leaning against the soft headboard.

An overwhelming rush of feelings swept over him, leaving him breathless, making him feel like he could never be the same again. Why is that? Nothing particularly spectacular has happened between them but here he is being overdramatic about his feelings for the young director. Does Jumin feel the same, is the way Jumin’s fingers grip his face as he kisses him deeply a sign of them having the same emotions running through them?

The atmosphere built by soft touches and hot kisses changes as he holds Jumin close to bury his face into his neck so he could smell him and relish having him that close.

“What’s going on,” Jumin mutters softly, wrapping his arms around Zen’s head and burying his fingers into his silky, silver hair. They stay like that for a while, hugging each other tightly, listening to their heartbeats argue instead of their mouths.

“I get so distracted thinking about you and what I feel for you,” he whispers against his neck, lips tickling the hot, sensitive skin. This man lets him touch him and love him, and it’s _so overwhelming_. Zen has a love, he’s _in_ _love_ , and he’s never been a shy person when it comes to his feelings. Jumin ought to know.

Shifting back, Zen decides to stop torturing Jumin by interrupting their makeout and mouths kisses against his neck, down to his collarbone until he’s licking a line down his chest to his nipples. Jumin gasps and has little time to maintain his balance before Zen grips him by his hips and flips them over so he’s laying underneath him. Something inside of him was taking over as he giddily asked for permission to take Jumin’s pants off accompanied with a tender brush of lips.

Dark eyes watched his every move as he carefully removed Jumin’s remaining clothes and urged his knees out of the way to stare at the tight, lithe body. Even though he sometimes gave the impression of being shallow, Zen wasn’t. He didn’t care that Jumin had no defined muscles like himself despite the many times he’s made fun of his body, he was still beautiful and everything Zen could’ve ever wanted.

“Hyun?”

Zen shook his head lightly, his fringe caressing his forehead. _Stop getting distracted, goddammit!_ The man’s remaining clothing landed on the floor next to the bed in a pliant pile. Jumin gasped in surprise as soon as his lips wrapped around his length, and the man’s hands immediately moved to grip his silver hair tightly. This was the first time his face was this close to anyone’s dick, let along said dick being his his mouth, but he didn’t mind it at all, not when the older man was making the soft noises he was making. He’s being driven purely by the fact that he can’t help wanting to please and make Jumin feel _so good_ , because if he knew how good Zen feels by allowing him to hold him in a dear place in his heart he’d understand.

He’s not going to lie, the way Jumin’s legs warm the sides of his face and neck along with the way he pulls on his hair and scratches his scalp only serves to intensify his desire for the man. Jumin has shown to be an emotional person in very special occasions, however Zen wouldn’t have imagined him being this expressive during sex.

The hands in his hair began to set the pace after he moved his head up and down a couple of times, getting used to the feeling of licking, sucking, and trying to breathe at the same time. Even in the midst of getting head, Jumin was a bossy guy. He wanted to be in control. “ _Oh_ ,” Jumin kept moaning every few seconds, particularly when his tongue pressed against his hot skin. No wonder Jumin tried this the previous night, it was fun to have the upper hand in this sense.

Jumin was as direct as ever and eventually nudged him off his dick, probably so things wouldn’t end this quickly. Not that Zen would’ve minded. They have all night, their flight to Korea is a long one.

Even though the shorts he was wearing were made of a soft fabric, they were uncomfortably tight. Not wanting to bother with them later, Zen slid them down his hips and got back to his original position between the young director’s legs. “How was it for my first blowjob?” He asked with a grin after he pressed a kiss on the other’s slackened mouth.

“It was perfect.” He didn’t know whether Jumin was trying to purposely make him blush, but if he was then he succeeded because damn, that was very sweet of him. Even if it was the first blowjob he’s ever gotten. The older man could be acting like a total asshole as he always does but he isn’t. This was serious business to him (no pun intended). “I want to be on top,” Jumin said after a moment of silence between the two.

Because Zen would never deny Jumin anything, particularly a request like this one, he moved over and laid back, allowing Jumin to carefully climb up and sit on his lap comfortably. They could keep doing naughty things to each other, but Zen wouldn’t be opposed to laying down and sleeping like this, with the other weighing down on him and warming him up all night.

Zen’s hands rubbed up his legs until they held Jumin’s hips tightly to pull the man down forcefully and grind up on him. “God, I want you so bad Jumin...” The low groan he emitted sent a shiver down Jumin’s back and he _felt_ it through his fingertips.

The face Jumin had wasn’t much different than the stoic one he usually has, but his eyes were bright and his irises blown, and there was a slight tremble to his fingers no matter how calm he looked on the outside. Jumin must be a bit nervous, no doubt. Who wouldn’t. Being this bare, both body and soul, with someone was putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It takes time getting used to it.

“I think I feel the same way about you,” Jumin whispered, leaning forward, pushing them both down and kissing Zen’s forehead. “...we could,” he whispered again but Zen chose to ignore it to focus on what the man was trying to do with his hands. Jumin reached back between the kisses he was giving his face to remove his hands from the hold he had on his waist, pulling his arms above his head and keeping them up there in a gentle grip, the gesture unexpectedly heating things up even more.

“Keep talking,” Jumin whispers harshly against his lips. “I want to hear your voice.” Oh, _now_ he finds his voice sexy? Alright, Zen could play along. “Tell me more, what do you want.” Zen’s hands were free to move after the other made his request, but he didn’t feel like touching him at the moment. He wanted to make Jumin squirm pleasantly without Zen having to do it with his hands.

“You are so hot,” he made sure the other felt his hot breath against his neck by pushing himself up and kissing him there. “I want to fuck you so deep,” Zen muttered urgently, betraying his initial plan of making the other squirm as he couldn’t resist allowing his hands to travel down the curve of Jumin’s back to grab his ass and squeeze it gently. Is this what he wants? Zen isn’t shy when it comes to this sort of thing, so if he expected him to get shy about it, well, he’s in for a surprise. Or maybe he’s expecting him to do as he is told, like the good obedient boyfriend he is. _Fuck_. “I want you to moan and scream my name as I give you so much pleasure you can’t think of anything else.”

He’d drown in pleasure, he’d go blind and deaf and forget the world. “You’ll sit in your office and all you’ll be able to think about is how good you feel after I make love to you.”

Moving back, Zen looked up at him with open affection, his face was flushed and his eyes shined with warmth under the dim lights of the bedroom. The older man didn’t expect him to express himself that way, he probably wanted _sexy_ stuff, which is all fine and dandy but right now there’s too much emotion inside of him and he can’t help letting it all out now that he has the opportunity, before the two of them go their separate ways for a while.

Zen’s never been afraid to be vulnerable, maybe that’s why for so long people took advantage of him. “I want to hold you in my arms and feel you shudder, feel your heartbeat sync with mine as we both come undone.”

Full, _gorgeous_ lips opened but Jumin said nothing right away. Instead, the man’s hands splayed over the hard muscles of Zen’s chest, admiring the beauty that he was. “So emotional,” he whispered fondly. The excitement shared between the two slowed down for a moment as the skin under his hands pulsated with the hot blood running through his veins. “I find it unsurprising that you’d say romantic things like that,” the older man said clearer as his fingers warmed him even more. “Your emotional side is exasperating at times, impulsive too, but it makes you the warmest, kindest person I’ve ever met.”

A part of him wanted to know what exactly makes Jumin say he’s the kindest, warmest person, but the other part of him wants to let him keep talking without interrupting. Zen… considers himself decent. He doesn’t judge others much past initial curiosity, he respects everyone regardless of the way they look, where they come from, who they love, what they believe in. Jumin got the short end of the stick for a long time because he was so similar to his older brother. If he hadn’t reminded him of his brother, Zen would’ve been fine with him being some rich asshole. He genuinely can’t come up with a reason why Jumin would think this highly of him.

Jumin shifted to thread his fingers in his hair and brush it all back from his face. “It makes me happy to know I’ll get to experience everything with you. I want your everything,” he said before bending over to kiss his forehead once more. “I love you, Hyun.”

Zen was left speechless and he didn’t know why. It was obvious, wasn’t it, that the older man loved him. Hearing him say it however was much different. Burying his fingers in Jumin’s hair, Zen gripped his head lovingly and pressed them into a kiss as he tried not to cry. He loves Jumin too, but the second he attempts to say it back, he‘s going to shed tears and embarrass himself.

A whimper escaped him when he felt the man’s fingers caress his length after a minute of both trying to practically melt their faces together. “You should make love to me,” Jumin demanded before moving back and staring down at the mess he’s made of Zen. Teary eyed and everything.

“Huh,” Zen on the other hand was broken over the demand. He couldn’t even put together an eloquent reply. “What. Jumin, no.” His eyes met apprehensive dark ones, then realized he needed to work on thinking before speaking. “What I mean is, I would love nothing more than to make love to you, but…”

Blinking, Jumin got off his lap and sat next to him so the two could have this conversation which Zen really wishes they weren’t since things between them were starting to heat up again. “I think you should be the first one to do this. I’ve never had sex and you have experience.” This caught Zen’s attention. Jumin’s reasoning for choosing him to go first made a lot of sense logically despite the fact that Zen’s never been with a man before.

He wonders though. “Do you know how it works,” he was trying to understand why Jumin thought Zen meant who was doing who, and not whether they had the appropriate items needed for anyone to do anyone.

“Of course. Since we’re both men, if it’s penetrative then it means it’ll be anal sex--”

Zen pushes himself forward and kisses him quiet with a smile. Any other time this would be cute, the way he rambles on and on about information, but right now it’s going to kill his erection by talking so coldly about something that doesn’t need to be spoken of so dryly.

“Okay,” he gasped against Jumin’s cheek as he pressed kisses on him, trying to get them to continue on. “We don’t have any of the stuff we need.” Kind of pointless to worry about it right now. As much as he would _love_ to bury himself in Jumin and make the sweltering heat in the pit of his stomach dissipate, Zen doesn’t want to interrupt everything by getting dressed and driving to a store.

The older man got away from his lips and stared at him from under hooded eyes. “I don’t care...”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t care if we don’t have stuff.”

Is this real life, is this happening right now. “Jumin,” he began, as calmly as he could so that the older man understands what he’s trying to say. “I’m not going to hurt you just because we’re being impatient.” Who does Jumin think Zen is? There’s no way in hell he’d do that to his cute butt.

“It won’t be that bad.” He was arguing now for the sake of arguing, and Zen wasn’t okay with that. It’s what _he_ does, not Jumin.

“You say that now,” Zen frowned as he shook his head. “Wait until you can’t sit for a _while_.” Not to brag or anything, but he was well endowed. The beast inside of him was roaring at him angrily for being so conscious and polite about all of this, but there’s no way in hell he’d ever hurt Jumin.

The two blushed at the comment, and Jumin’s dark eyes avoided his for a long moment as he seemingly thought about the situation. “I still wouldn’t care,” the young director muttered under his breath then laid down on the bed once more, staring up at Zen with a tiny smile. This fucker.

He groaned loudly and dropped his body on Jumin’s so he could bury his face in his neck. “Jumin, seriously, don’t say things like that! Not even as a joke.”

“Why?” He could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “Am I awakening the beast inside of you?”

“What if I wasn’t as strong as I am? I could hurt you. You’re the worst for arguing with me about this.” His hands traveled up until he could grip Jumin’s face between his fingers. Moving back, Zen gave him the most heated look he could’ve mustered. “Regardless of what you want to argue, I’m not going to hurt you **_our_** first time together,” he whispered, voice thick with desire but sweet with love.

He could never live with himself even if it’s something like this. Zen can play rough if the other wants him to, that’s not an issue, but when they’re both inexperienced in this sort of thing and it’s the first time they go at it (not to mention the first time Jumin has sex), well, he’d rather do things properly. “It’s better to do it right at the beginning. I don’t want you to have a bad first experience. After that you can make any request you want.” He carded his hand through Jumin’s dark hair tenderly so he could cradle his head. This man was far too precious to him. “Let me do right by you first. I love you too Jumin.”

Zen knows he’s being not only cheesy, but almost overbearing about this sort of thing. Nothing will back him down from his own feelings, morals, and desires. The older man blinked at him but relented all power to wrap his arms around Zen’s back and smile openly at him. “Hyun, I believe you were made for me,” he whispers, almost surprised at the realization.

God, he _loves_ him. Jumin is that sturdy force he always yearned for. The one unwavering force that would love him and protect him indefinitely. Zen has never felt this high in the clouds.

 

* * *

 

**DAY 11**

 

* * *

 

 

Fingers scratched his scalp as his hair was being brushed back in slow and smooth motions. Jumin breathed in loudly, then exhaled before he took his time to open his eyes, as if he had no worry in his life. Which, he doesn’t. They spent the rest of the night exploring each other’s bodies, a very _nice_ way to spend the night considering the previous times they were together had been very short, but this time it left him a bit exhausted. He could hear and feel Zen’s heartbeat underneath his face, and along with the caresses he was lulled back to slumber. The younger man’s arms were still around him, and quite frankly Jumin didn’t want to move right now. He wanted to replace all the memories he’s had of waking up alone with this instance. This is his life now, this is what he has to look forward to. From this point on this is how he’s going to start his days.

The fingers carding through his hair stopped and Zen moved to hug him tighter before letting go. “You’re finally awake,” he said with a bit of exasperation, but he’s one to talk. It’s been long established that the two are deep sleepers.

“I wasn’t aware you had somewhere to be,” rather than hugging him so Jumin could have a perfect morning, that is.

His head moved along with Zen’s chest as he chuckled. Jumin couldn’t be more disinclined to move off the younger man, he wanted to remain cuddled up like this. “It’s the bathroom you ass. I need to pee so bad and you’ve been sleeping on my bladder for hours now.”

“You make a good pillow,” Jumin muttered as he playfully rubbed his face against the warm chest under him, like Elizabeth would when he gives her treats. “A bit too hard, but maybe if I feed you like I feed Elizabeth, you’ll get plumpy too."

Pushing himself up, Jumin yawned and blinked down at Zen who was blushing as red as a tomato. “What?”

“What do you mean by that!?” It was far too early for the other to be getting offended at the jokes he makes. “I’m fine the way I am, don’t try to change me!”

He isn’t wrong about that. “It’s a joke, don’t be so dense. But now that I mention it, maybe you can help me with Elizabeth because she really needs to lose some weight, except all I want to do is feed her treats. I can’t help it, she’s too perfect and majestic to not have all the treats she wants.”

Zen’s red eyes were focused on him, he could tell the musical actor tried not to sneeze. It made him happy, it made his heart flutter softly like the sensations of the wings of a butterfly. He was a very lucky man. Was his attraction to Hyun like this for years now, or is this truly new? Because how incredibly lucky he is to have his feelings be reciprocated.

“What?” Jumin asked this time around.

The other shook his head and smiled softly before pulling Jumin down to rest on his chest once again. _So much for wanting to go to the bathroom badly_ , he thought with absolutely no malice. “I don’t want to get up. I just want to do naughty things to you.” The wish was evident in what Jumin could feel under the covers where he had his leg hiked up on the other.

Zen’s hands brushed the curve of his body up until they got to Jumin’s hair, then he moved to grab his face so Zen could pull him into a soft morning kiss. Jumin has never felt this at peace before, he’s never felt this special. To be looked at with so much love, to be touched with so much want.

“We have about two hours before we have to get to the airport. It’s best if we get ready now so we can say goodbye to everyone.”

He hasn’t forgotten what Zen told him the previous night, that him and his father spoke to each other. Despite being very curious, Jumin didn’t want to force Zen to tell him anything, only because if it were important he knows the other would tell him. As long as his father wasn’t acting in an unacceptable manner, Jumin is fine with anything that could’ve gone down between the two. As of now, he’d like to properly say goodbye to his father before they meet again in Korea, to show that he’s willing to put things behind them, but only when he has had the time to deal with everything that happened.

“It’s so bright today,” the younger man groaned but followed suit when Jumin got up. He needs to pack while Jumin showers anyway.

He walked over to the stuff he set up the previous night and grabbed a towel, muttering under his breath, “a vampire, I knew it,” loud enough so the other would hear him. It only makes sense. Zen attracts an unrealistic amount of people, he prefers night runs, and he clearly dislikes the sun. Obviously he must be some type of vampire.

“The hell are you mumbling to yourself about vampires?”

One thing is for sure, vampire or not, the man is a sight to behold laying in bed early in the morning, with soft blankets barely covering him as he gets riled up by Jumin’s jokes.

“Is that not how you attract people? Vampires do that.”

“Aye,” Zen protested before throwing a pillow at him and smacking him square on his back after successfully turning away from the incoming missile. “That hurts my feelings, you jerk. Leave me and my eyes alone…”

Oh. “That’s not what I was talking about. Your eyes are gorgeous.” And they were such a contrast to Elizabeth’s ocean blue ones.

Teasing him was fun and all, but maybe this was enough teasing for now. Jumin took a shower and readied himself, Zen doing the same right after him when he was done getting his stuff ready to go. Their flight back is going to be long, and thankfully Jumin will be busy looking over some paperwork but the sooner they get there the better. He can’t wait to go back to work. _And the sooner he’ll be with Zen again after he settles back into his normal routine_. He definitely misses Elizabeth so much, she’s been his one source of peace for a long time and Jumin can’t wait to have her in his arms (and hopefully not get scratched).

Hm. How would her and Zen get along? The younger man better follow through with his promise of getting allergy medicine. Jumin believes a long term solution would be ideal, so he should look into allergy shots made specifically for overcoming allergies, if at least to keep it at bay for long periods of time. That way, hopefully, there’ll be a time when he doesn’t need medicine anymore and he can help Jumin come up with ways to incorporate felines in all of his ideas.

Zen moved into his peripheral vision and Jumin let himself be turned so the other could fix his suit. “Does Mr. Han need help getting dressed? I thought we needed to get going and here you are staring at nothing lost in thought.” Jumin obviously knows how to dress himself but the other was being a little too enthusiastic with wanting to help him that he let it happen. Zen might have what is referred to as a resting bitch face, but he was a very loving individual despite the fact. A mother hen more often than not.

“I demand you make me your manager,” Jumin said, trying his best to fight a blush. Being with Zen was somehow a synonym to blushing because ever since it started days ago, it won’t stop.

The younger man looked up puzzled at his random comment. “And why would I do that?”

“So you can call me Mr. Han all the time.” He was shameless and unapologetic.

Zen laughed so hard he had to move back so he wouldn’t hurt Jumin’s ears. “Kinky bastard,” a kiss followed the not so nice but very true statement before he said, “I can call you Mr. Han whenever you want. I’m an actor, remember?” There’s an idea.

The younger man’s hands brushed down the front of his suit then he looked up to smile at him. Jumin didn’t stop himself when he moved to kiss that smile. “I don’t mean to tease you so much, but your reactions are hilarious…” He was babbling, which felt weird. Jumin doesn’t babble. Nevertheless, he’d do it if it was accompanied with an apology. There is little to be shameful of when he’s with his boyfriend. The thought makes him feel so warm and strangely assured.

Hyun is the one person Jumin can forever and always be himself with, being boyfriends means having an unspoken understanding that neither will judge the other and that they’d respect each other’s shortcomings. Jumin rarely acts unbecoming, but he does keep _some_ parts of himself tight, secure, and away from others. But not from Hyun.

“I know, I know,” Zen sighed, brushing Jumin’s cheek with his thumb before moving to kiss him again. “I have to get used to your shit humor.”

“You love my shit humor. It makes you smile,” Jumin retorts, raising an eyebrow at the smile the other was sporting. “It makes you want to kiss me.”

Licking his lips, Zen rolls his eyes and lowers his hand so his fingers mold around Jumin’s neck in a feathery soft touch. “It makes me want to strangle you.” The musical actor paused and brushed his lips to Jumin’s softly, as if they haven’t been kissing the entirety of the morning. “Either way it’s bound to leave you breathless. Let’s go.”

Jumin watched him walk away after that, letting the sensations run through his body before forcing himself to calm down. At this point he’d try anything for Hyun to agree to move into his home.

The first familiar face that greeted them was Charles to both their surprise. He would’ve expected his sister to be up and about, ready to leave for her honeymoon.

“Joh-eun achim!” The older man says in the most excited way he has expressed himself the entire time they’ve been around him. The man was obviously proud for getting the pronunciation down perfectly without stumbling despite the phrase being a short one, which Jumin approved of. His brother-in-law was fascinating and he has yet to learn so much about him. They didn’t get to interact as much as he would’ve hoped, but he’d definitely keep in contact and, if everything is well, host him and his sister sometime this year.

“Good morning!” Zen offered back in English, less enthusiastic but just as proud of his own pronunciation. “That was good!” Charles didn’t understand that but the two thumbs up the young man offered probably helped him figure out what he meant.

“Good morning,” he said to the man when he walked past the two men, path headed directly to the coffee. “Where’s everyone?”

“Junny and your mother are going over some stuff before we leave. I’m sad to see you two leave but hey, this means you two can visit us again sometime in the future.”

Jumin nodded, sipping on his drink. “You two could visit as well. It’s just me and Father in Korea for now, and as you know, Juwon will join us eventually.”

“Ah, I hope you can forgive me for what happened with your brother.”

“There’s nothing you have to ask forgiveness for, he’s his own person.” And it’s not like Charles was in charge of him, their mother was. _Not_ that he’s going to blame her for anything either. That’s all behind them, it’s time to move on. “You’re good.”

“He is!” Junghee chimed in from behind him, walking in along with his mother. “What a dream, a kitchen full of handsome men.”

Zen immediately brightened up when Junghee hugged him, another act to add to the many things about this visit that made Jumin’s pride soar. The musical actor has struggled with his own family for so long, it was nice to see him get along with his. At the very least he’ll have a family with Jumin’s. _Apparently even his father was on board now, too._ His mother on the other hand looked a bit off. She always looks serious, but this time around he could see the softness of her brows and the corners of her mouth.

“Is everything okay?” Their eyes met, and for once Jumin felt something other than indifference. It was wonderful. Something in him filled more and more, little by little, whenever he thought about the rebuilding of his and his mother’s relationship.

Shaking her head, his mother smiled and patted his shoulder sweetly. “Yes darling. I’m thinking how empty everything will feel once again when we all leave. I enjoyed this trip very much despite your father’s attempt to ruin everything for everyone.”

Brushing aside the comment about his father, Jumin tilted his head at her as he thought about what she meant. Juwon has been away on his own for a long time now, the same goes for Junghee. His mother couldn’t be regretting sending them all away at a young age, could she? Time can’t be turned back, so the only thing anyone can do is look ahead.

“It’s delightful to see you open up to someone else for once. I know we’ve already gotten past what went wrong, but as your mother I never stopped hoping for you to achieve all your dreams and goals, and to find someone worthy of your time and love.”

Jumin is right there with her. “Me too. It’s--” talking to her about this was a bit strange, but nothing he couldn’t get used to, “--been great. Hyun makes me happy.” It’s the sentiment he had the previous night, and it’s a sentiment he’ll have for a very long, long time. Also a complete understatement.

“You know,” his mother conferred, moving closer to whisper to him so no one else could hear, “it’s very easy to see. You _look_ happier. I’m glad. He’s such a wonderful young man. Charming and expressive, the two of you make a very good pair.”

There was an underlying tone to her words but Jumin didn’t take offense to it in any way. It was true. His mother and father were the most incompatible people, and if he were honest, it was a good thing they ended their relationship. There’s no point being with someone who doesn’t love you or at the very least respects you. Zen, despite being a salty and emotional person, loves and respects him. They’ll have a great future together, he can **_feel_** it.

_Saeyoung would be proud, wouldn’t he?_

“Hyun,” his mother called and the younger man turned away from the conversation he was having with his sister and Charles to smile at her. “Can I speak with you?”

“Of course!”

Jumin watched them gather on the other side of the island, and he wasn’t sure whether he should walk away and let them, but when his mother began to talk, he figured it didn’t matter if he heard.

“Will you keep in contact with me?” She insisted, moving to grab a hold of one of his arms, making him blush a bit (probably because this was Jumin’s mother). “I know we didn’t get much time to get acquainted with one another, but how about you come and stay with me at the villa I own in Italy--”

“Mother,” both Jumin and Junghee spoke up.

Their mother gave them both a pointed look before not only finishing up what she was saying, but also elaborating. Jumin knew she didn’t mean anything ridiculous, but the way she said things always sounded weird. “ _Both_ you and Jumin can come along, and spend some time with me. Yes?”

Zen chuckled but agreed nonetheless. He looked so good smiling so sincerely like that, Jumin liked it a lot. There was something satisfying about seeing Zen smile because of him or his family, he didn’t know why but Jumin let it make him feel good. “Of course, if Jumin is okay with that.”

“I am,” he affirmed quickly before going back to his coffee.

He watched his boyfriend and his mother stare at one another for a moment. “There’s something about you, you know? I don’t know what it is, but since the moment I met you I felt a pull towards you.” She was being soft spoken, something that didn’t necessarily matched her overall personality, but it probably related to what she was trying to convey with her words. “I’m glad you’re a part of the family now, and I’m enthused over the new memories we’ll all make from this point on. I might not be the best mother, but I’ll be a good mother to both of you.”

The younger man blinked at her before his eyes began to water. It all happened so fast Jumin had no time to process why it must have happened. In a matter of seconds he found himself by Zen’s side, holding one of his arms to pull him close to his chest in a very protective matter. “I’m here.” It was after he said that, that Jumin thought what his mother said could’ve triggered something in him, considering his own family ignored him for so long.

Zen let him hold him close despite it being clear he didn’t need anyone to come to his rescue. “I’m just…” It took him a second to gather himself together and not cry, but his eyes never left Jumin’s mother. “It’s nice to know that I belong to a family again.”

“A pretty amazing family, I must say,” Jumin joked, letting go of him but staying close. It was fascinating to see how emotional the musical actor could be. “We should probably get going if we’re going to give Juwon our farewell.”

“Yes,” Zen replied as he raised his eyebrows, “I forgot we have to go see him before the flight.”

A hand was waved between them and then his mother pulled out her phone. “No need Jumin. Your brother spoke with me earlier this morning, told me there was no use on you dropping by when he will be seeing you _soon_. He’s never been this excited about anything in his life, Jumin, you’ve made him very happy with your offer.” The phone in her hands began to dial after she tapped on the screen a couple of times, and his brother’s face appeared moments later.

“Hey,” he muttered sleepily, looking much better. “Is Jumin leaving now?”

“Almost,” Jumin spoke up, him and Zen crowding closer to his mother so they could be seen by his youngest sibling. The one sibling he interacted with the least ended up being the one he’d be the closest to once he moves to Korea and starts shadowing him at work. Interesting.

Looking down at his chest, Juwon slowly began to smile. “Hyun, I’ll see you again too. I’m glad I can say that.”

Whatever that was seemed to be something both of them knew what they were talking about because Zen grinned back and gave him a peace sign. “I’m glad I’ll see you again. We’ll hang out in Korea, I’ll show you all the good spots for food.”

“I’ll look forward to that.”

There seemed to be a different shine to his brother’s eyes, and Jumin felt hopeful for him to move on past his mistakes and go on with his life in a proper, healthy way. One could say Jumin felt _almost_ giddy to have someone, particularly his brother, learn his ways. Possibly be hired full time by him and have the kid help along the many projects he deals with daily.

“Enough sentimentalities,” his young brother spoke, looking away from the camera embarrassed, “I’ll let you go now so you and your boyfriend can do your thing. See you two soon. I promise.”

His mother looked so happy after witnessing their conversation, to which Jumin completely understood. There had been some chaos at the beginning but now it all seemed to have mellowed out into a very nice and functional environment. A rare situation when it came to the Han family. In all seriousness, his sister should be awarded. Jumin expected the house to end in ashes, and for all of them to swear each other as enemies.

Junghee came over and hugged their mother from behind with grace, “why don’t we all eat breakfast together? The last meal?” She contended, tone upbeat and excited despite this being the last time they’d see each other for a long time. He couldn’t say no to that. And since his brother saved them a big chunk of time, he might as well indulge her one last time.

They all sat together, Junghee and Charles sharing with them where they were going for their honeymoon. It made Jumin think back on his idea about the island, and how now more than ever he wanted to make that purchase. Create a haven for him and Zen, somewhere they could go to escape it all. The usual place for him would be the orchards he owns but he’d like to have a literal piece of land away from mainland. To hold Zen in his arms, kiss him and love him, and have no one see or interrupt. He can already imagine them lounging by a pool or the sand. Possibly enjoy a stormy evening inside their home while watching the wild waves rage against the shore.

There are many things both of them could look forward to if he had this island. Or a castle in the middle of a beautiful, big, and empty forest. Like a wizard and his fairy boyfriend...

Zen glanced over at him and nudged him softly with his elbow before he whispered, “don’t get so lost in thought. Your sister is very excited for her trip to South Africa,” to which Jumin had difficulty listening to because he was far too distracted with the way his lips moved, and the way his eyes shined. Being in love was going to be so beautiful and yet so annoying.

“I was thinking about you,” Jumin shared without a hint of hesitation. This made the younger man blush and pull back, going back to the conversation. If it’s everyone else, Zen is fine with mushy statements, but if they come from him the other blushes and looks away. How cute.

To everyone’s surprise, the breakfast was briefly interrupted by his father and his girlfriend gracing them with their presence. Jumin didn’t expect him to show up last minute, but he’s pleasantly surprised to see that he was _trying_. He met his eyes and nodded with a soft smile on his lips, silently letting his father know that he truly held no hard feelings despite harboring disappointment over his actions. People make mistakes, Jumin was always willing to forgive his father if it meant he was willing to change for the better.

“Father,” Jumin greeted after getting up and before sitting back down once everyone took a seat again. “I thought you’d already be on your way home.”

His father shook his head and ignored his mother’s heated looks as he reached over to grab Ara’s hand to kiss it. “I’ll be staying a week longer, Ara and I will be taking a trip to New York.”

The man can do that considering he’s no longer overlooking anything in the company directly ever since he started working as his executive director. And now that he thinks about it, Jumin found his father’s plans to be pretty convenient. He didn’t think of taking more time off, mostly because he only planned this trip around his sister’s wedding. Next trip he should take Zen everywhere he wants to go. That’d be a lot of fun, and Jumin’s curious to know what tickles the musical actor’s worldly interests.

“I,” his father began again, standing behind Junghee’s chair and looking straight at Zen, “wanted to say this family reunion was not what I expected at all, and I’m very proud of my beautiful daughter, who is now married to the love of her life.”

“Thank you Father!” Junghee got up with the help of their father and hugged him tightly to her, making Jumin smile. “I had a lot of fun dancing with you.”

“Your wedding was indeed fun! We enjoyed it,” his father’s girlfriend, Ara, spoke up, attracting everyone’s eyes like metal to magnet.

There was a second of awkwardness before Junghee broke into another smile and moved to hug the woman as well. “Thank you Ara, I’m glad you were there to join us.” Jumin had to give it to his sister, she was a better person than he was. Then again, she didn’t grow up with their father.

Junghee remained standing and with a soft, “ahem,” she addressed the entire table. “I wanted to thank all of you for joining me and Charles, for taking time out of your busy lives to come see us get married. I know we did many speeches at the wedding, but this one is only for you. I might not remember my life as a small baby when we were all still a family that sat around a table together, but I will definitely remember these past two weeks with fondness in my heart despite the few unfortunate events. This is something I’ve dreamt of experiencing again now as an adult, and I can’t tell you how happy I feel that everyone agreed to it.”

“Of course love,” their mother smiled and raised her glass of water, prompting everyone to do the same and do one last cheer for his sister.

“I sincerely hope that that we all work hard to become closer, and that this isn’t the last time we get together like this again.” His young sister was feeling emotional, and Jumin wondered to himself why he never thought of reaching out to her before. They both seem to love their family, and the idea of them all being close.

“I don’t know what’s being said but I want to give all of you my thanks as well!” Charles chimed in as he reached over to grab Junghee’s hand in his. “Maybe next reunion can be in Korea. And by then I’ll know some.”

Everything seemed to flow calmly after Charles’ effective attempt at breaking the emotional atmosphere in which Junghee’s speech enveloped them. Jumin can only hope that this is all carried along with his father back to Korea so the two of them can go back to normal once and for all. Zen was being more quiet than usual and it goes without saying that it was understandable after what his mother told the musical actor, so Jumin paid little attention to it as him and his family attempted to chat like normal, well mannered humans before everyone’s flights.

All in all, Jumin felt recharged in enthusiasm, ready to face his usual routine.

The trip was going to come to an end sooner or later. Once breakfast was over, everyone went out the front of the house as the drivers made sure everything was ready to go. His mother didn’t direct a word at his father as they all said their goodbyes, something both him and Junghee felt relieved for, but she did hug and kiss both Zen and Charles’, as if they were her actual children.

“Seeing your lovely face every day was a gift,” she continued to gush at Zen, making Jumin feel slightly embarrassed even thought there was absolutely no reason why he should feel that way. “And you,” she then turned to Jumin, “I’m very proud of you. I’d say your father could have that credit but I wouldn’t do that to the poor women that had to deal with him daily while you grew up, the many nannies you had did a great job raising you.”

His _father_ did a good job ignoring the jab, so following that Jumin kept his lips sealed on the matter and instead let his mother hug him, not as warmly as Zen, but the younger man could use the motherly love more than Jumin ever could. He doesn’t need that type of attention.

Jumin held onto his sister’s promise to keep in touch with him and eventually drop by in Korea, taking a moment to let her know she was welcomed any day. “All you have to do is tell me with time so I can move my schedule around,” he explained, already feeling a bit off thinking about taking more days off work in the future even though it’s a very normal thing.

“And the same goes to you. Also,” his sister pulled him into a tight hug before poking his chest not so gently, “don’t hurt him, or break his heart.” Jumin already promised himself that and he wasn't about to reveal that to his sister, but he did nod in agreement.

“I won’t.”

“Before you go,” she pulled back from their hug and reached for her phone with a big smile, “can I have one last picture of you two? But give me a cute one, unlike the one I took at the pier!”

Frowning, Jumin argued mechanically, “what’s wrong with the one you took at the pier?” As if he didn’t know damn well the picture taken at the pier was before him and Zen were together. _Everything_ was wrong with that picture.

“Hey, I’m supposed to be the grump, not you,” Zen moved closer to Jumin and leaned into him until their temples were touching. “Just smile and pretend to love me for your sister.”

“That sounds very wrong in many levels.” Jumin did as he was told anyway, allowing her to get what she wants. God, who is he, his father? “And I don’t need to pretend.” _Anymore_ , he thought reflectively.

The phone’s shutter sound echoed and his sister grinned at the small screen before giving them a thumbs up, indicating her satisfaction with the result. “Thanks!”

“Why are you so happy to have a picture of us?” The younger man inquired after he realized how weird it was that his sister was that elated over a picture of them.

Junghee flashed him big, innocent, dark eyes and shrugged off his question with a quick and sweet, “no reason!” She pulled the musical actor into a big hug as well, and kissed his cheek softly. “I’m happy we met. You better show me the good spots for food when I visit you as well!”

Laughing, Zen hugged her back and picked her up off the floor with enthusiasm. “Of course, we’ll eat ourselves into a coma if you want. I’ll pause my diet just for you.”

“Oooh. I’m honored!” She laughed at his exaggeration, making Jumin smile as he watched from the sidelines. “Anyway,” she patted their shoulders in a joking manner, “it’s time to go boys. This isn’t a sad goodbye, but a happy see you later. Don’t forget to call or message me!”

By the time they all said goodbye to each other (Jumin attentively keeping an eye on Zen and Ara), he felt mentally exhausted from all the social interaction. He loves his family so much, but he still prefers to keep the socializing to the minimum unless it’s work related.

Zen kept a big smile the whole ride to the airport, evoking a small fluttering feeling in the bottom of his stomach. Checking in and being boarded went by in a blur thanks to the underlying excitement he felt for going back home. To his home, his bed, his precious child Elizabeth. Jumin can already feel the cool wooden material of his desk under his fingertips, and the soft cushioned shape of his chair.

He offered his hand to the other, who took it and sat on the seat next to his instead of the one across. “I can’t wait to order people around,” he leaned in to kiss Zen’s lips quickly after settling down on his seat in the private jet. Jumin wanted to tell the other how elated he was to know he liked his family, he felt comfortable around his family members, but he kept the thought to himself. Zen likely knew this since Jumin couldn’t stop smiling as much as him.

The younger man was fluffing the dog plushie he got at the pier, pausing only to accept the kiss. “I bet you can’t wait,” he replied exasperatedly before shoving the plushie behind him to his side and leaning back comfortably.

It didn’t take long for Zen’s legs to make their way on top of his while he reviewed the same paperwork he reviewed days ago. “I have so much to do back in Korea, starting with finding you a new home,” Jumin moved his arms up smoothly along with the other’s movements, to rest them on top of Zen’s shins properly.

“Oh, yes, I need to get that going… I can’t risk being stalked by fangirls ever again.”

Jumin agrees to that wholeheartedly. He remembers the first time it happened to Zen, a couple of years ago the musical actor had been so scared from finding a fan in his home, he messaged them in the chatroom asking for help. Jumin has never dispatched bodyguards so fast in his life, he had been so preoccupied for Zen and his well being even then. “I’ll take care of it if you let me,” he offered sincerely, wishing the other would let him get the safest place he can find.

“No,” Zen replied to Jumin’s disappointment, then shook his head at him, “I want to do this myself. You’re going to have to work on being less possessive and controlling,” he added cautiously but firmly.

Although the comment bothers him immediately, he keeps his mouth shut not replying right away and pretending to ignore Zen while reading his paperwork. “Caring for your well being isn’t being possessive or controlling. And even if it were, can you blame me?” He asks after a moment of thought, tearing his eyes away from the papers on his hands. His question wasn’t rhetorical, Jumin was being serious.

The brat had the audacity to look smug. “I’m irresistible, I know. But I’m my own person, old man, I’m capable of doing things on my own. Thank you though. I know your heart is in the right place.”

“You knew what you were getting yourself into.” _And_ he agreed to it. After Zen was done rolling his eyes at him, Jumin sought out those beautiful big, red eyes only to stare at them for a long and uncomfortable amount of time, prompting Zen to humf in indignation.

“I’m not going anywhere, you crazy cat lover. You give me all the attention and all the love I want. You’re stuck with me forever.”

With a smile, Jumin went back to his paperwork. “Good.” He wouldn’t have it any other way. Zen should be aware by now that Jumin would move heaven and earth just for him. For his smizing, for the curve of his lips, for the roundness of his cheeks, for the soft sound of his laugh, the warmth of his soft touch. Jumin could go on but he’d simply be describing Zen and everything he does that he now finds mesmerizing.

Two hours into the flight Zen jerked his legs, startling Jumin out of his concentration. “Oh shit.”

“What is it?” He inquires the younger man, laying one of his hands on the leg closest to his stomach and rubbing it lovingly. “Did you forget something in America? I’ll get you a new one.”

Zen smacked his forehead animatedly. “We forgot to let the others know about our relationship.”

So it seems. They had been so distracted with not only themselves but also his family that it slipped their minds. Jumin's excuse is that this feels so natural, them together and in love. Nothing that a message couldn’t fix. They have been so distracted that neither had time to look through the chats in the RFA app. “Not a big deal, love.” He let the endearing term slip, but Zen was too preoccupied to notice it.

 **Jumin Han:** I see we’ve missed lots of conversations. We’re on our way home now.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Hello to you two.

 **707:** so, is there something you want to tell us or??

 **Yoosung:** who are you talking to? We’re all here, be more specific

 **Jaehee Kang:** I’m assuming he means Zen and Jumin since they’re the ones that just joined us.

 **707:** correct!!!!

 **707:** you’re always on point Jaehee :D

 **707:** they

 **707:** have

 **Jaehee Kang:** Stop spamming

 **707:** something

 **MC:** c-c-c-COMBO BREAKER

 **MC:**  damn, Jaehee beat me to it

 **707:** superimportanttotellussorryimusingonehand

 **MC:** Babe, can you please not harass them so soon? They’re on their way back, probably trying to fall asleep on the plane.

 **Jumin Han:** It’s actually morning, but we probably should so we don’t suffer from jetlag once we’re back.

 **707:** BUT BUT BUT i want them to tell us :(((

 **Yoosung:** tell us what? :O I’m curious

 **Saeran:** can you please stop spamming the chat jfc my phone wont stop pinging and it’s annoying

 **707:** @Jumin Han @ZEN !!!!!!!! can either of you please just tell us? IM DYING OVER HERE

 **Jaehee Kang:** You seem to already know what this important thing is, why not just tell us yourself?

 **Yoosung:** Momo do you know waht he’s talking about??

 **ZEN:** Yoosung, SPELLING

 **Yoosung:** omg

 **MC:** No, I don’t. I’m curious now… what is this super important thing Zen and Jumin have to tell us?

 **Yoosung:** Aww, yeah i can’t think of anything. Could it be a new project they’re working on together?

 **707:** *zips lips*

 **MC:** OH MY GOD I think I know

 **Jaehee Kang:** ………………………

 **Jaehee Kang:** …………….

 **Jaehee Kang:** I don’t want to think I know what it is but I think I know what it is…

 **Yoosung:** huh??

 **Jumin Han:** It’s only been two hours since we left America and you’re already stirring a ruckus in here, Saeyoung.

 **ZEN:** hmm.

Jumin looks up from his own phone to see Zen staring down at his in confusion. This conversation was going to happen at some point, so Jumin isn’t too worried about it or the outcome. The younger man was the one who kept asking when they were going to let their friends know. “How does the guy know anything?” When their eyes met, Jumin glanced down at his own screen and narrowed his eyes.

“I spoke with him about my feelings for you a couple of days ago.” he confessed, but even then he couldn’t ignore the slight suspicion he had about Seven and the strange preciseness of his excitement over Jumin and Zen being together. He didn’t mention it past that conversation days ago, how can he know they’re together right now?

Zen’s face reddened as he widened his eyes in shock. “You did what!? Why him?”

Shrugging, Jumin put the phone down momentarily and reached over to grab Zen’s hand so he could lace their fingers. “I needed guidance. I would usually turn to V but he’s not with us anymore. And say what you want about Saeyoung, the guy’s in a very healthy relationship with Momo.”

In an instance any irritation or surprise Zen had possibly felt vanished the moment his best friend’s name was spoken. It was nice to know Zen understood this part of him, the one that used to rely on his best friend, the only close friend he had for a long time.

“Alright,” he said with a smile, “that’s fair. I don’t know why him though. Momo or Jaehee would’ve been easier to understand.”

“Jaehee would’ve murdered me in a jealous fit without a doubt,” Jumin stated matter of factly, to which the younger man scoffed at and rolled his eyes at, “and you have a closer relationship with Momo, so I felt there could’ve been a conflict of interest.”

Blinking rapidly, Zen tried not to laugh for some reason and Jumin tilted his head curiously. “Conflict of interest? Seven _ships_ us, he constantly mentions how good we’d be together. I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy had some creepy altar somewhere with our hair or some shit.”

“You have a very low opinion of Saeyoung,” he chided.

His boyfriend was having none of it though. “And you have a very high opinion of him.”

Well.

“I wasn’t aware speaking to Saeyoung about my feelings for you would bother you this much.” He never intended to make the other uncomfortable.

Zen smiled as he shook his head and brought Jumin’s hand on his to his lips so he could plant a warm kiss on it. “It doesn’t, I know Seven only wants to help me and I don’t think he’s a bad person in any way. I’m glad you had someone to talk to. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said it back with ease, turning his attention to the exploding chatroom once again. “We should tell them now so we can stop this nonsense.”

The musical actor breathed in deeply before nodding. “This is more intimidating now than it seemed yesterday when I asked you about it. I guess we should get this over with. Would you like the honors?”

While Jumin would _love_ not to have to do that, the teasing possibilities were endless so he ended up agreeing to it.

 **Jumin Han:** Everyone, please remain calm.

 **Jumin Han:** As Saeyoung said, there’s something we have to tell you.

 **707:** omg

 **Yoosung:** :O!!!

 **MC:** :OOO!!!

 **707:** :DDDDDD

 **707:** >.<!!!!!!!

 **707:** (☉∀☉) !!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Seriously, please stop spamming so much.

 **ZEN:** this is a mess.

 **Jumin Han:** Zen and I have decided--

 **Jumin Han:** \--to start dating.

 **707:** holy _FUCK_

 **ZEN:** IN SECRET!!! So please don’t ever mention it.

 **ZEN:** also, seven, language please

 **Yoosung:** what in tarnation

 **707:** (〇* >∀<)ゞ★☆

 **MC:** AAAAHH I THOUGHT THATS WHAT ITD BE IM SO GLAD I WAS RIGHT

 **707:** (人´∀｀)．☆．。．:*･° love is magical ,,, i’m so happy right now omg

 **Yoosung:** is going on here

 **Jaehee Kang:** oh.

 **707:** [photo]

 **707:** CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!  <333333333 ♥♥ <3

The picture that popped up on his screen made him freeze because it felt surreal to see him and Zen pressed together smiling _at his sister’s phone camera_. And if he pauses his confusion to go back and think of everything odd that’s been happening, it actually makes a lot of sense.

“Hyun,” Jumin muttered, almost done gathering his thoughts on the situation.

“How,” the younger man barked, “the fuck did he get that picture? Did you send it to him?”

“I haven’t sent anyone anything, I don’t even have that picture. Junghee didn’t send it to me.”

What he said seemed to be a mistake even though it was the truth nothing but the truth. “Are you playing a trick on me again? You and your sister share things and then you lie about it. It’s _not_ funny Jumin.”

He wasted no time reaching for Zen’s closest hand so he could give it a kiss. “I’m not lying. I wouldn’t lie to you, not anymore.” Were Saeyoung and Junghee in contact with one another? How, why, for what reason. The thing is, he wouldn’t put it past that crazy Elizabeth-torturer.

 **Jumin Han:** Where did you get that picture from?

 **MC:** can i just… can i say that you two look REALLY good together? Like crazy good.

 **Yoosung:** You’re right. Wow, no matter how shocked I am right now, I can’t deny that.

 **707:** if only they could have babies… they’d be the most breathtaking looking people in the world for sure. and super smart and talented.

 **ZEN:** can you please NOT

 **ZEN:** talk about the imaginary babies we can’t have

 **ZEN:** PLEASE just don’t.

 **Yoosung:** hey jaehee, are u ok?

 **MC:** awweee we can go on double dates!!! ♥♥

 **707:** oh yeah, i guess we could (⌐■_■)

 **Jumin Han:** No.

 **ZEN:** definitely no.

 **MC:** :’(

 **ZEN:** ... I guess once couldn’t hurt

 **Jumin Han:** NO.

Both lifted their heads from their phone screens to look at each other in determination. “Just one,” Zen insisted firmly, “to please Momo.”

“One,” Jumin immediately gives in at the thought of making their precious friend happy. He could never deny that woman anything, really. He loves her _almost_ as much as Zen and Elizabeth, because she’s that sweet and special to him. _But of course in a completely different level than his boyfriend and his child_.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Is he holding you hostage?

 **707:** huh?

 **Jaehee Kang:** Is he threatening you with cats? Do you need us to call the police for you?

 **Yoosung:** damn jaehee, what exactly do you think of jumin

 **Jumin Han:** lol

 **MC:** Jumin just said lol haha iconic.

 **ZEN:** No, he isn’t. I know you don’t think this is a good idea because of my fans and having to stay available for them, but I feel strongly for Jumin and I will put him above anyone else. Even my fans.

 **Yoosung:** :O wow… I almost shed a tear.

 **707:** ♥（ﾉ´∀`）they’re already mushy and embarrassing, this is too good to be true

 **MC:** I’m so happy for both of you ♥

 **Jaehee Kang:** Please don’t misinterpret my words. I can’t deny my soul is a bit crushed because of this. But I’m happy for Zen, I’m happy he’s found love in someone even if that someone is Jumin.

 **Jumin Han:** thanks.

 **ZEN:** jumin… nevermind. Thank you Jaehee, I’m glad you’re not angry.

 **Jaehee Kang:** On the contrary. Something positive has to come out of Zen having a billionaire boyfriend, and that can only mean one thing...

 **MC:** What?

 **Jaehee Kang:** His solo music career. This is a project worth investing in, Jumin.

 **707:** coughwellthere’sanideajuminifyouneededonecough

 **Jumin Han:** This idea isn’t half bad. He’s poetic, he plays piano, he already sings…

 **ZEN:** ALL OF YOU STOP jaehee you’re supposed to be ON MY SIDE

 **Yoosung:** damn, are you going to become a k-pop star now? :O please do so I can brag even MORE about you to everyone!!!

“Jumin--” Zen was about to argue but Jumin silenced him with a kiss.

“I’m half teasing you, half being serious. It sounds like a great idea,” he admits, “but I wouldn’t do anything without your permission. So don’t start a fight over nothing.”

That placates the musical actor, and the barely there pout is too cute to resist kissing again, but before Jumin can submit to his desires, his phone pings with a private message.

707:   
Let me save you endless pain by giving you the best advice you’ll ever hear.

Jumin Han:  
Go on, I'm listening.

707:   
Don’t. Ever. EVER sext with Zen.

“Sext?”

Zen moved back and blinked in confusion. “What?”

“I don’t know, Saeyoung just told me to never sext with you.” He has no idea what that is, but he can logically dissect the word and figure it out (plus his nightly readings of the Urban Dictionary are generally helpful when it comes to slang).

707:   
Sext, yes. Sex and text. Don’t ever send pictures or videos, or have raunchy conversations on your phones because I don’t know if I can stop the mess that a leak of any of that would cause either of you.

Covering his reddening face in embarrassment, Zen lets his body slide down the seat until he can hide his face on Jumin’s shoulder. “Oh my God, why are we friends with these people!”

“We love them,” Jumin offers in his normal, stoic tone as he puts his phone away after leaving a last text.

Jumin Han:   
Okay, won’t do. Thank you for the advice.

“They’re so embarrassing,” Zen sighs and shifts even closer until Jumin takes the hint and snuggles back. “I guess I wouldn’t ask for any other friends.”

“At least they took the news nicely.”

Snorting, the younger man moves his hand to touch Jumin’s face lovingly before letting it drop on his lap. “Apparently they all thought we’d end up together anyway.”

The two ignored the last couple of buzzes from their phones, and instead chose to enjoy their closeness and warmth. “If we sleep now, we’d be caught up with the timezone change,” Jumin whispers against silver hair before pressing a kiss to it.

“Jumin, I almost forgot as well,” the other shifts to be able to look up at him from where he was resting his head on his shoulder, “thank you for inviting me on this trip.”

All he did was smile, lean back, and hold him tighter before kissing his hair one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Zen has all the POWER, make no mistake 
> 
> 2\. i was unable to find the mysme word for instagram so i had to make up my own lame one LMAO my bad
> 
> 3\. Zen admitting that Jumin’s smiles and excitement are precious to him just jskfsdjkfsklg KILL ME
> 
> 4\. in addition, him admitting he’s a salty hoe is even better bahahahahaha 
> 
> 5\. god seven makes no mistakes, dont you forget that
> 
> 6\. also note that i looove sassy yoosung, so that’s what you see a lot in the chats from me haha he’s very naive, but sassy as hell, which is probs why he gets along with seven and zen the most lol
> 
> 7\. Zen expected too much of the wedding lol he wasn’t aware the plot would lead to something better than the best wedding in the world XD
> 
> 8\. I TOLD YALL EVERYTHING GOING ON WITH CHAIRMAN HAN WOULD BE EXPLAINED I hope I didn’t disappoint, although I went with a “realistic” touch if you will :P
> 
> 9\. I headcanon that Zen has a resting bitch face. It’s canon that Zen is a grump that never looks cheery so i’m running with it hahahaha but is it really a headcanon tho? It’s been confirmed by all the pictures he has where he looks like he’d rather jump off a building than be where he is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m just saying
> 
> 10\. I’ll share this here with all of you…. I hate writing the word nipple LOL it’s so weird looking I dont know 
> 
> 11\. I ALSO TOLD YALL THINGS WITH JUMINS MOM WOULD BE EXPLAINED although I did a poor job at this one because I ended up liking it vague--so basically she felt the sadness in him (magic mom powers or some shit) from being rejected by his own family so she was drawn to him immediately after meeting.
> 
> 12\. A standing ovation to Seven and Jaehee please, and thank you. They deserve it. Let’s all be glad Jaehee didn’t hear the sexting part of the conversation lmaooo
> 
> 13\. I ended it during the flight because I thought it’d be a cute place to cut the story and leave the rest to the imagination.
> 
> 14\. yall jumin and zen make me so happy, like, they're just made for each other and if they only KISSED AND MADE UP they would be so much better i hate cheritz for teasing us like this uguhh
> 
> 15\. did seven get the picture from junghee without her knowing? were junghee and seven in contact with one another? did seven know all along? and because of that did junghee know all along? were the two of them a team on the 'juzen for life' ship? we'll never know (⌐▨_▨) what we do know is that seven is the best hacker in the world and he would totally die if he accidentally hacked into zen or jumin's phone to find dickpics so his advise was urgently necessary.
> 
> -
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who took the time to kudo and/or review, and I hope that everyone who read it enjoyed it very much. I work full time, go to school over full time, and I also deal with some medical issues that require me to be at the hospital or with my doctor quite often, so each chapter took forever to write and submit. THANKFULLY ITS NOW OVER AND YALL CAN READ IT ALL IN ONE GO. Also how lucky are you if you're reading the story after it's been completed. Just so you know many SUFFERED waiting for each chapter hahaha MY BAD.
> 
> THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE GOOD WISHES and I hope yall have the best time during the holidays coming up!!
> 
> If I end up writing again, yall know where to find my stuff!!


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